Read The Language Inside Online
Authors: Holly Thompson
I show him the text
chris wants 2 no if you can come 2 din
sat night . . . your whole fam . . . camfood
but that’s good
Toby says
I nod
he punches me
baka!
he says—jerk!
don’t confuse me
I thought it was more bad news
I rub my arm
wipe my eyes
blow my nose
realizing from the punch
that underneath
Toby worries, too
I text Sam back
sounds good—camfood?
and he answers
cambodian food, dodo
and I laugh and show Toby
and we high-five ’cause
we are both so aching
for Asian food
not that I really know what Cambodian food is like
but I suspect it’s similar to Thai or Vietnamese
which we love
in Kamakura there’s a Vietnamese café
where Madoka, Shin, Kenji and I go
to have
pho
at tables outside
eating to the
kan kan kan
sound
of the train crossing
and thinking of that café
and my friends
I’m homesick
but I’m also thinking
of dinner with Sam
and how
if someone offered me a ticket to Japan this minute
maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t want to go back today
because of what I’m looking forward to tomorrow
Mom and Toby are game for the dinner
but YiaYia suggests we go without her
I urge her to come
but I know for a fact
she doesn’t like much Asian food
except teriyaki
which she pronounces
terry-ackee
go without me
enjoy
she says
to be honest
I could use a quiet evening
and she winks at me
I call Sam to say thank you and yes
but Chris answers Sam’s phone
Sam Nang’s driving
he says
uh-oh
I joke
thinking it’s strange
that Chris says Sam’s last name
I tell Chris we can come to dinner
and ask what we can bring
nothing—
Sam Nang’s mom, Lily
will be cooking
with everyone’s help
just bring yourselves
the next night
is a great night
Sam’s mother, Lily, has made
a sweet-and-sour lemongrass soup
that fills my lungs when we enter the kitchen
and while she prepares curried fish she calls
amok
Sam, Beth, Sam’s sister Lena and I
make spring rolls
Lily is kind
solid-looking and laughing
strong but funny with Lena and Van
not at all how I’d imagine for a survivor
if your father, sister and brother were killed
and your mother disappeared
when you were young
and you’d nearly starved
and became a refugee
we place shrimp on rice paper rounds
add noodles, greens and scallions
fold in one end and roll it all up
it’s like the
gyoza
parties at Madoka’s house
where we made dumplings, all kinds—
pork and scallion, cabbage and shrimp
tomato and cheese . . .
we talk as we fill the spring rolls
people come in and out of the kitchen
Mom takes Lena and Van to the dining room
to teach them Japanese handkerchief play
and I ask Lily if she was from the city
or the countryside in Cambodia
she tilts her head as she looks at me
says
countryside, first, then Phnom Penh
I ask if she’s been back and she says
once
I took Sam Nang, about three years ago
I ask how it was
half to Sam, half to his mother
and his mother tilts her head again
and Sam tilts his head the same way
Sam says
different
especially the village
where most of our relatives live
how so?
I say
like simple, you know—
no running water, cows walking down the road
dusty, no electricity, lots of kids
lizards, palm trees
hot
then Lily asks me to tell her about
our town in Japan
I say it has lots of temples
that there’s a temple at the end of our lane
and temple bells gong at six a.m. and six p.m.
I tell her it’s an old city
with ancient harbor stones off the beach
and hiking trails in the hills
and hidden cave tombs
and again I’m babbling
but I’m guessing
she must know what it’s like
to miss a place
so different from where you are