The Lady Most Willing . . . (21 page)

She loved them, he realized, her affection for her family wholly uncomplicated and
honest, and she felt loved in return. It made him yearn to be included in her magical
circle. He frowned at the thought: he’d finished with such nonsense years ago.

“Both have received offers of matrimony from gentlemen of whom they are quite fond,”
she continued. They were almost to the end of the corridor now. He could see the great
stairway leading down to the inhabited part of the castle, a soft glow rising from
the lower level. “They are all aflutter to marry and set up their own households,”
she said. “Alas, Papa will not hear of it.”

“The young men are unacceptable?” Robin asked, feeling comradely toward these poor,
unworthy swains.

“Not at all,” she said. “It’s just that my father is dreadfully old-fashioned. He
refuses to let my younger sisters marry until I am off the market. In fact, that is
why we are in Scotland.”

At her words, something swelled in Robin’s throat and his heart thudded dully in his
chest. That explained why the Maycotts were here, hosting a house party: the earl
was going to announce his daughter’s engagement. Who was the bastard? Scottish perhaps,
otherwise why drag society up here in the dead of winter. But
who
?

They’d reached the end of the gallery and were at the top of the staircase looking
down into the foyer just outside the great hall. The sound of light laughter drifted
up to them. Bretton and his ladylove. Cecily belonged down there with them, in light
and warmth. Not here, in the chill and ruin.

“You are unflatteringly preoccupied, Robin,” she said reproachfully. “I daresay you
haven’t heard a thing I’ve said.”

Every syllable, every
breath
. He managed a smile. “Of course I have. You have come to Scotland to announce your
engagement. “

“No,” she said, her brow wrinkling. “I’ve come to decide
which
marriage proposal to accept.”

“Which?” he repeated, dumbfounded. “There were so many?”

She tipped her head, watching him closely. “Five.”

“Five?” Somehow he managed to sound only faintly amused, politely interested. Perhaps
he should consider a career on the stage.

Five
. And doubtless each one able to offer her the things any loving parent wanted for
his child: security, wealth, consequence. Otherwise Maycott would have outright refused
them. Still,
she wasn’t promised to another
. Not yet.

“And,” he said, careful to keep his gaze straight ahead of him, “does any one fellow
stand above the rest?”

“No,” she said with a small sigh. “That’s the problem. There is not one amongst them
for whom I care more than the others.”

Absurd relief washed through him. He was craven. He was ridiculous. Still, it changed
nothing.

The pain of that realization cut through him, sharp and deep. He mustn’t let her see.
He had pride, if nothing else. It had been the one thing he refused to compromise
or cede in a short life filled with concessions and compromises.

“What do you think I ought to do?” she asked intently, her voice no longer light and
careless.

This was one part he could not play. Yet play it he must.

“Well,” he drawled, “if you postponed your decision for another season you could probably
field another five offers. Then you’d have an entire cricket team and could just choose
the best bowler.”

Color washed delicately up her throat and stained her fine, pale cheeks. Wordlessly,
she pulled off his jacket and handed it to him.

“Thank you, Comte,” she said icily. “I shall take your suggestion under advisement.”
She turned to start down the stairs, taking with her every dream he never realized
he harbored but which she had brought to painful light . . .

But not yet.

He grabbed her arm and with not a whit of expertise or urbanity, spun her back around
and into his embrace. He tipped her over his arm, and his mouth descended on hers
in a ruthless, hungry kiss. All the years he would not touch her, see her, be with
her poured into that kiss; loss and urgency, anger and helplessness. Then, as quickly
as he’d taken possession of her, he set her back on her feet and stepped away, his
hands dropping to his sides.

For a long moment, they stood facing each other, each breathing heavily, their gazes
locked in some undefined contest in which there would be no victor. He waited for
her to castigate him, slap him, revile him, do any of the things she had every right
to do not only now but in answer to his earlier kiss, too. But again, she didn’t.
She just stood there, shoulders back, head high, eyes blazing. He had no idea what
she was thinking, feeling. Fury? Disgust?
Pity?

Finally, he could stand it no longer. “Aren’t you going to say something?” he demanded
desperately.

“Aren’t you?” she countered in the same tone.

God, yes, how much he wanted to speak, to swear fealty, explain what she’d done to
him, plead for her hand. But he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right.

“No.”

Her head snapped back as if he’d struck her and his hand came up to reach for her . . .

But she was already running down the stairs.

Leaving him behind.

Chapter 23

W
hat in the name of all that is holy was wrong with the man?! He kisses her not once
but twice, then pushes her away both times—though she has made it as clear as day
that she does not want to be pushed away—and then, in answer to her pathetically obvious
attempt to rouse his jealousy, suggests she should try to field a cricket team
.
A
cricket
team! That was all he could say?

Cecily stomped down the stairs, her velvet skirts swishing angrily around her ankles.
But her steps slowed as she touched her lips, feeling again his hunger, his fierce
desire. Thank heaven the gallery wall behind her had held her up for that first kiss,
for without its support she would have buckled under his sensual onslaught, and he’d
supported her for the second, which was even more potent. Even now the memory made
her knees weak and her breath come high and tight in her chest.

She realized now that he hadn’t even bothered to embrace her during that first kiss.
When he’d stopped, all she could assume was that he’d been somehow disappointed, that
her kiss had been too
jeune fille
for his worldly palate, and so casting about frantically for something to say that
would not sound horrifically unsophisticated, said the first thing that had popped
into her head, some daft comment about how good he was at kissing. And for some reason,
that had seemed to anger him. Almost to embarrass him.

What was she to make of that? And why had he kissed her again and why had that second
kiss seemed so angry, yet so desperate? And what had he meant, “Aren’t you going to
say something?”
He
was the one who’d kissed
her
. And finally, most importantly, why the
hell
wasn’t he following her now—

Oh!

She reached the bottom of the stairs and tripped over the hideous old dress’s hem.
Frustrated, she yanked at the skirts and in doing so dislodged the velvet bed hanging
looped around her shoulders. It fell in a coil to her waist, sweeping the loose neckline
off her shoulders before catching around her hips like a great velvet boa constrictor.
She froze, afraid that any movement might render her completely topless.

Tears welled in her eyes. What had become of her? She looked like a musty Gypsy crone
and she smelled like a wet dog. No wonder he’d let her go. She should probably be
happy he hadn’t given her a boot to the backside.

“Lady Cecily?” a tentative female voice hailed her.

Oh no. The last thing she wanted was an audience to her misery. Snuffling mightily,
she dabbed at her nose trying to compose herself before turning around. Catriona Burns
was coming toward her, her attitude cautious, her expression carefully bland.
Her
dress fit. A tear escaped Cecily’s eye and dribbled down her cheek.

“Hello, Miss Burns,” Cecily said, knowing she sounded brittle and false. “You are
up early this morning.“ She looked away, trying to recover her poise, but her tears
only fell more quickly. She ignored them as best she could. “It looks like it has
the making of a lovely day.” She sniffed. “Wouldn’t you say?”

“Lovely,” Catriona agreed, coming to her side. And, without so much as a by-your-leave,
she snagged the loose end of the treacherous bed curtain and draped it back over Cecily’s
shoulders.

The unexpected kindness nearly undid Cecily.

“I believe we’ve seen the last of the snow for a while,” Catriona said as easily as
if returning teary gentlewomen to a state of modesty were an everyday occurrence.
“What’s already fallen won’t last long. It never does. I expect within a few days
most of it will have melted.” She finished wrapping the curtain and stepped back,
looking over her endeavors with a critical eye. “There now. How’s that?”

Cecily looked down at her faded dress with its bilious embroidery and drooping roses,
and at the ragged velvet curtain. “Awful,” she said. “Simply awful,” and then she
clamped her hand over her mouth, staring at Catriona in contrition because she hadn’t
meant to be ungrateful, it was just that—

“It really is, isn’t it?” Catriona agreed, her gaze on the dress. “Completely and
unutterably hideous.”

Catriona lifted her head, and something in her exaggeratedly woeful countenance made
Cecily smile and then grin, and then the two of them were laughing like loonies.

“Now, we shall have a nice cup of tea and one of Mrs. McVittie’s scones,” Catriona
said when their laughter had died down. She linked her arm through Cecily’s, drawing
her into the room where breakfast was being laid out. “And then you can tell me what
all this is about.”

And so Cecily did.

An hour or so later, Cecily sailed forth from Catriona Burns’s bedchamber much restored
in spirit and body. Catriona Burns, soon to become Duchess of Bretton—and a lovelier
duchess one would have a hard time imagining—had found stacks of boys’ clothing in
the trunk brought to her room, including an antique tiger’s uniform, and insisted
Cecily try them on. Throwing propriety to the wind, she had, and was gratified to
discover that she and the tiger were a similar size and shape except for a certain
constriction in the jacket. And about the hips. And her backside. In anticipation
of finally being able to get a breath of fresh air after being castle-bound for so
long, she’d finished her toilette by donning a knit cap found in the trunk.

Bolstered by Catriona’s encouragement and her own exhilaration at doing something
as scandalous as wearing boy’s clothing, Cecily struck out, determined to find her
would-be lover and recommence her seduction of him. The only problem was she did not
know where he might be and she could hardly ask someone where his chambers were. As
daring as she’d grown these last few days, there were some lines she was not prepared
to cross. That was one of them.

And she
had
become daring, she thought, walking along the corridor, cracking open doors and peeking
inside. Who among her acquaintances would ever imagine she’d be so audacious, trading
bon mots with a rake, planning to seduce that same rake, and donning boy’s clothing
preparatory to doing so? None.

In fact, for the first time outside the small circle of her immediate family, she
felt wholly and comfortably herself. A chill traveled through her. What if she had
never come to Scotland, what if she had said yes to one of those worthy men who’d
courted her? What if she’d never been kidnapped and she had never met Robert Parles,
Comte de Rocheforte?

She would have spent the rest of her days living a life removed from herself, experiencing
emotions at a distance, cocooned and indistinct, like bumping a well-bandaged wound.
Not
painful
, precisely, but not alive, either, a dull layer of conventionality and unmet expectation
standing between her and her heart.

The chill grew deeper, colder. What if Robin refused her? What if he would not wed
her? What then? Could she be satisfied with something less? Could she wed for convenience
and hope that something more might eventually grow out of the union? Would she choose
spinsterhood and the memories of a very intense, very few minutes over the promise
of a family?

Her footsteps slowed and her earlier ebullience faded. She needed to clear her head.

She frowned and looked about. Lost in thought, she’d made her way toward the back
of the castle, near the kitchens, and was standing next to a narrow window looking
across a snowy yard toward the stables. Next to the window, a low door led outside.

She lifted the latch and pushed the door open, finding herself at the top of a short
flight of stairs leading down into a thick blanket of snow. Above, the morning sun
blazed in a robin’s-egg blue sky, setting the pure white field sparkling. The tang
of pine reached her nostrils and the sound of birdsong filled the air.

As she stood there, the stable door opened. A couple emerged, a tall blond man with
his arm wrapped protectively around the shoulders of a red-haired woman. With a start,
Cecily recognized Lord Oakley and Fiona Chisholm, whose hair tumbled down around her
shoulders and whose laugh tinkled in the air as she looked up at him with a teasing
expression. Even at this distance, Cecily could discern the tenderness with which
he returned her regard.

There wasn’t any possible way someone could misconstrue what Cecily was seeing. Blood
rushed into her cheeks. The most disturbing thing was that she didn’t really feel
shock . . . she felt jealousy.

She started to turn away, embarrassed at having unwillingly encroached upon their
privacy. But Oakley spotted her and raised his hand in greeting. Without saying a
word to Fiona, he bent down and swung her up into his arms. She gave a little shriek,
but by then Oakley was already cleaving a path through the thigh-high snow, making
his way toward the door where Cecily stood.

A moment later he was standing just below her, showing no inclination to put Fiona
on her own feet. “Lady Cecily!” he said, with a broad smile of a sort she had never
imagined seeing on the earl’s face.

“Lord Oakley.” She inclined her head, waiting for him to chastise her about her apparel.
But it instantly became clear that he did not care, perhaps did not even notice, what
she was wearing.

“Good morning, Lady Cecily,” Fiona said with a smile almost as large as Oakley’s.
Then she turned and gave the man holding her an entirely unconvincing scowl. “Lord
Oakley, will you please set me down?”

“Lady Cecily,” the earl said, setting Fiona on the step just below that on which Cecily
was standing, “I would like you to be the first to know that Miss Fiona Chisholm had
done me the great honor of agreeing to be my bride.”

He lifted Fiona’s hand and turned it over, bowing to press a swift kiss on the inside
of her wrist. Fierce color flooded Fiona’s face, and Cecily caught the burning look
she bent on Oakley’s white-gold head.

Due to some alchemy of the heart, Oakley must have sensed Fiona’s regard, for he looked
up at her. Their gazes locked for a second, and then she leaned just slightly toward
him. He was still standing thigh-high in snow, but he snatched her off the step in
a rough embrace and . . .

Oh my!

Uncertain what to do, Cecily cleared her throat. No one paid her any mind. She cleared
it again. Louder. Oakley lifted his head at that, his expression irritated. “If you
are cold, Lady Cecily, may I suggest that you retire to the sitting room?”

“Byron,” Fiona murmured, “I confess that I am a bit chilled.”

That was all he needed to hear to pull her tightly against him and sweep her up the
steps. Fiona had time only to give Cecily an apologetic glance before they were gone.

Amazed by this unexpected turn of events, Cecily picked her way down a narrow path
along the castle walls where the snow had drifted back up on itself, forming a little
corridor. Apparently, the castle was a veritable Cupid’s bower for lovers. Catriona
and Bretton, Oakley and Fiona; why, she’d even seen Ferguson succumb to a romantic
impulse and kiss Marilla Chisholm during their game of hide-and-seek.

The only one unaffected by all the carrying on was the famous rake himself, Robin,
though she had to admit he’d not been entirely immune to the spell enveloping Finovair.
He’d kissed Marilla or, she merely preferred to think, allowed Marilla to kiss him.
And he
had
kissed her. Indeed, he had kissed her most thoroughly. It was just that he showed
no signs of wishing to whisk her away to the stables, or sweep her up in his arms,
or . . . or marry her.

She halted in her tracks, beset with frustration, and in doing so caught sight of
a figure coming round the far end of the castle, heading for the stables. Her eyes
widened. It was Robin. He glanced briefly in her direction, but did not pause. He’d
apparently mistaken her for some poor stable lad his uncle had tricked out in antique
finery in order to impress his guests.

Her gaze followed his progression, his greatcoat swinging from his broad shoulders,
the high tops of his leather boots cutting through the snow, one gloved hand holding
tight to the leather strap of the satchel slung over his shoulder . . . By God, he
was leaving!

He couldn’t leave. How was she to convince him they must marry if he was somewhere
else? She had to stop him. But by the time she waded through all that deep snow—which
was probably up to her waist—he would be long gone out the stable door at the far
end. And if she hailed him, he might not hear, or worse, hear and ignore her.

Frantically, she looked about before being struck by inspiration. Jaw set with determination,
she scooped up twin handfuls of heavy moist snow, packing them tightly into a ball,
ignoring the biting cold against her fingers. Veteran of hundreds of snowball fights
with sharpshooting younger brothers, Cecily worked quickly but painstakingly, because
a loose, ill-shaped snowball was an imprecise missile.

Finally, she was satisfied, and none too soon. Robin was almost to the stable doors.
She had one chance to stop him.

Offering up a quick prayer, she stepped forward, cocked her arm, and let fly.

The snowball sailed true. Barely an arc altered its swift trajectory as it hurtled
unerringly toward her proposed target in the middle of Robin’s back. Except . . .
except it slammed into the back of Robin’s head instead and, with an audible thud,
burst apart.

For an eerie second, Robin seemed to freeze in mid-stride. Then, slowly, as though
time was unfolding in molasses, the satchel slipped from his shoulder, his knees buckled,
and he fell face-first into the snow, disappearing from Cecily’s sight.

Her legs were moving before he hit the ground. She bowled into the deep drifts of
snow, arms cartwheeling, certain that she had just killed the only man she would ever
love.