The Knight and the Dove (37 page)

“Mayhap,” Megan agreed before they both fell silent.

“There is something on your mind, isn’t there, Megan?”

Megan nodded. “My father wanted me to live here at Hawkings Crest before the wedding so that I would know Bracken when we wed. It has worked better than I ever expected, but there are some things of which we have never talked. One of them is God.

“I am almost ashamed to admit this to you, but I have not spoken to him about that which means so much to me. We did not start well, and because I was raised at the abbey, I feared he would think me a religious zealot. I was not controlling my anger at that time, and I thought somehow that if he knew the stand I took in Christ, the seeming contradiction would cause him to shun all I believe.”

Joyce smiled at her in true compassion and said, “Thank you for being so honest with me, Megan, but I must tell you, Bracken’s lack of faith in Christ has little to do with you. You see, he has never hungered.”

Megan stared at her.

“Think back, Megan. Think back to when you knew you wanted Christ as your own.”

Megan was reflecting now.

“There had to be a hunger, Megan,” Joyce went on, “or you never would have reached out.”

A minute or two of silence passed before Megan recalled in a voice of wonder.

“I was desperate. My family did not know what to do with me, and there were days when I knew the nuns were ready to lock me away forever. There was such a void inside of me that I felt hollow all the time.”

Joyce nodded and continued softly “This is what I speak of, Megan. Bracken has experienced no such need. Not even when his father died did his heart feel the need. He is a devout man in many ways, but a personal relationship with God’s Son does not seem to fit into the plans he’s made for his life.

“I have such hope, Megan, that your marriage to him will make a difference. I am not telling you that your sins do not matter, but do not be afraid to be yourself with Bracken. He is a most compassionate man, and we have talked at length about what I believe. Your own story would be new to him, but I have told him what Scriptures say concerning Christ.”

Megan drew a great breath. “And what of your other children, Joyce? Where do they stand?”

Joyce smiled. “You know Stephen and Brice well enough, I think, to see that they believe as Bracken. The girls know Christ, both Kristine and Danella, but of my sons, only Giles.”

“I am sorry he will not make the wedding.”

“So is he. But his term as squire is most important for his upbringing. It is what his father would want.”

They were quiet for a time.

“Has it been very hard?” Megan asked, referring to Greville’s death.

“At times,” Joyce admitted. “When Danella was wed and then had the baby, I missed him so much. When I came to Christ, I wondered if he’d ever made that choice. And now, I know he would have been so proud of Bracken and would have adored you as l do.”

Both women stood and hugged. Megan praised God for Joyce’s words. She was so wise and caring, and Megan thought of the different women of the Bible that she had admired over the years—Sarah, Ruth, and Priscilla. She shared her thoughts with Joyce, and the older woman only smiled in humility.

The conversation then turned to Derek, and both women wept over his newfound knowledge.

“He told me a man in London spoke with him,” Megan said. “And it was just as you’ve said, he felt an emptiness deep within, and he cried out to God to fill that void.”

“Louisa told me that she was shocked speechless when he shared.”

“Yes,” Megan agreed. “She was most upset, but I believe God used Derek’s conversion to reach her.”

“It’s just a matter of time, Megan, until they all know. I believe this with all my heart.”

Megan sat quietly, because in truth she did not feel quite so sure. She prayed then that God would increase her faith.

When they exited the room, they walked together to the great hall for the midday meal. Both knew God’s peace in the way His hand had moved in their lives, and both prayed that their lives would continue to touch those around them in a positive way for God.

Twenty-Six

V
INCENT,
A
NNORA, AND COMPANY
arrived late that very evening. Darkness was swiftly falling as they rode through the gates. Megan, whose day had stretched on without end, swiftly changed her plans of retiring and made her way to the great hall.

Not many people were up and about, which suited Megan. The greeting she shared with her parents was subdued. Megan felt helpless as to how to make it easier, but when she suddenly noticed the fatigue in her mother’s face, she knew she could at least offer hospitality

“You’ve come far,” Megan spoke softly while under Bracken’s watchful eye. “Would you like some refreshment, or would you rather be shown to your room?”

“I will retire,” Annora replied stiffly, and Megan, after a hushed word from Bracken, led the way, leaving her father in her betrothed’s hands.

Megan had chosen a resplendent group of rooms for her parents that included two large bedchambers and a small salon. Megan hoped that such an act would please her parents and make them feel welcome at Hawkings Crest. Indeed, Annora prowled the premises for just a moment, and Megan held her breath.

“Everything looks well, Megan.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Megan returned softly trying not to betray the rush of emotions within. She continued to watch her mother. She knew Bracken wanted her right back downstairs, but something in Annora’s demeanor caused her to linger. Megan knew she’d chosen wisely when Annora suddenly stopped and faced her nervously.

“I feel I must apologize to you, Megan.”

The young woman’s heart leapt. Could her mother actually be sorry for what she had done?

“As I’m sure you have noticed, Marigold is not with us,” Annora went on, and Megan knew keen disappointment. “I am sure she is not feeling well right now; she is not acting herself.” Annora’s voice now grew very agitated.

“We had words, the first ever, and then she said she wasn’t coming to your wedding. I’m sure she’ll be very sorry later, and I do hope she will have a change of heart and arrive before the ceremony.”

Megan stood mute for a full minute. In truth, she hadn’t even missed Marigold. She realized now that she would have been surprised if the older girl had walked in, but this was the last thing Megan could say to her mother. Megan felt pity of sorts for Annora’s belief that Marigold was acting out of character. Megan thought her sister’s actions were completely in keeping with her personality. The small redhead now wildly searched her mind for some suitable comment.

“’Tis all right, Mother,” she finally replied. “I am just pleased that you and Father have come.”

“Are you?” Annora’s brow arched.

She
was
pleased that they had arrived. She was going to say more to reassure her mother and try to remove the frown from her face, but there was a great pounding on the door.

“I wish to be alone!” Annora’s voice rang out to the intruder.

“Is Megan in there?” Bracken’s voice thundered from without.

“It’s Bracken,” Megan said, and moved immediately to the door. He came in uninvited, his gaze fierce as his look encompassed both mother and daughter.

“We are trying to have a private conversation.”

“I can believe that,” Bracken said ruthlessly. “In here…where no one can stop you.”

Annora’s gasp echoed in the room, and Megan reached for Bracken’s arm.

“Please, Bracken—” she began, but he cut her off.

“No, Megan, I will not leave. You still bear the scar from her last attack. I will not leave you alone with this woman any longer.”

There was nothing else Megan could say. She turned to see that all color had drained from her mother’s face.

“Is it true, Megan?” Her voice was a hoarse whisper. “Have I scarred you?”

Megan’s hands moved helplessly in front of her. “It’s very slight, Mother. I think it will fade.”

Annora plucked a torch from its wall sconce and approached. She moved to Megan’s side, and her free hand balled into a fist as she took in the tiny white line on Megan’s otherwise flawless cheek.

Her hand then reached for Megan’s arm. It was the first time Megan could ever remember her mother touching her in gentleness.

“Forgive me, Megan.”

“I do, Mother.” Moved by her mother’s first apology, Megan could not take her look of anguish. “We shall put it behind us. Why don’t you rest now.”

Annora nodded, and Bracken reached for Megan’s arm. They both bid Annora a good rest and left, closing the door behind them. It was a very silent couple that walked toward Megan’s chamber. Neither spoke until they stood just outside the portal.

“Are you all right?”

“Why shouldn’t I be all right?” Bracken wished to know.

Megan shrugged. “You seemed terribly upset.”

Bracken took Megan gently by the shoulders. “I was the one who saw your cut, swollen face, Megan. I was the one who witnessed your tears in the chapel. Your mother may have many fine qualities, but she has a violent temper, and for that reason alone I do not trust her.”

Megan could only nod. It was true.

“How is my father?”

“I think he wished you to stay and speak with him.”

“I’ll plan to see him tomorrow. In many ways,” Megan continued, “you have ruined him for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I always thought his care of me was the best, but in truth he never did what needed to be done. He removed me from Stone Lake because he had no control over my mother, but my father should have done everything to keep us together as a family.”

Bracken was very pleased by her words. He’d believed for many weeks now that her home had been nothing short of chaos, and it was good to see that she was now realizing how unhealthy it had been.
Bracken believed their own home would be as it should, one of warmth and caring.

“What will you say to him?” Bracken finally asked.

“I don’t know, but just as I said to my mother, I wish to put it in the past and go on. Bitterness will do no good.”

“He deserves your bitterness.” Bracken’s voice was uncompromising.

“Oh, no, Bracken.” Megan caught hold of his sleeve. “Bitterness only destroys the vessel that contains it. Bitterness accomplishes nothing.”

“You sound like my mother.”

Megan removed her hand. “We have much in common.”

Bracken nodded, his black hair gleaming in the light of the torch on the wall. “You share the same beliefs.”

“Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

Bracken only stared, thinking it made no difference.

“Do you think you can sleep?”

“Yes,” Megan answered, but wished he hadn’t changed the subject. She debated what to say next but waited too long.

Thinking she was tired, Bracken said, “Goodnight, Megan. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Bracken.”

They parted, Bracken with his thoughts and Megan with hers. Bracken truly did not see that Megan’s faith would be a hindrance to him, although he could not see the need for himself. He felt he was man enough to let Megan worship as she wished.