The Knight and the Dove (23 page)

“What of Megan? You saw her?” Stephen wished to know as he sat across the table from Bracken in the common room of the pub.

“Yes. She is well, but the Reverend Mother has asked that she stay until tomorrow. We will leave at first light.”

Stephen nodded. “So it is to be a willing departure.”

Bracken shrugged. “In truth, I can answer that only when the time comes. I do not feel the Reverend Mother would deal falsely with me, but I wouldn’t put it past Megan to try something.”

“So she was not pleased to see you?”

“No,” Bracken admitted, and Stephen knew the first stirrings of anger toward Megan. Did she not realize how much Bracken cared? Didn’t she care that he had better things to do than chase her across the countryside, sick with fear for her safety?

When he thought about the way she’d been plunged into this affair,
the anger dissolved. It was typical of Henry to use his subjects as political pawns, but it was most unfortunate that Megan had not lost her heart as swiftly as Bracken had. However, Stephen was not pessimistic. He knew that if Megan would only give Bracken a chance, she would find him a man who, although he didn’t know flowery words, would indeed cherish her for all his life.

Sixteen

“H
OW ARE YOU, MY CHILD?
”

“Oh, Father Brent,” Megan spoke with tears in her eyes, “I’ve missed you.”

The old man gently touched the top of her head, his heart turning over with love for this girl. He remembered her so clearly at 10, angry and rebellious, and then at 14, kneeling to pray for the first time.

“I’ve missed you too.”

“Have you been well?” Megan asked.

“I am as well as an old man can expect to be,” he told her with a smile. Megan smiled in return.

“I am only here until the morning.”

Father Brent knew all about this and only nodded. “Then I’m glad the Lord saw fit to put us together before you depart.”

“Are you ever near Hawkings Crest, Father Brent?” Megan asked anxiously.

“It is far for these old legs, child, but please believe that if ever I am in the area I will stop there.”

“I hope to see you.”

“The Reverend Mother tells me you are to marry.”

“Yes.” Megan’s eyes clouded.

“What is it, child? What is wrong?”

“It is not what I wish.”

Father Brent had figured as much by her reaction. “Through the centuries many have married for love, Megan, but probably just as many married for political gain. How does your betrothed feel?”

Megan’s face now flushed with anger, remembering the way he tried to rush her away. “He seems content enough with the arrangement. If only he would protest, Father might try to reason with King Henry on our behalf.”

“But you say he seems pleased with the order?”

“Yes.” Megan nearly choked on the word.

“If that is the case, can you not give him a chance, child?” Father Brent asked gently, but Megan’s face was still set with outrage.

“It’s not that easy,” she burst out, already sorry she had agreed to return and at the same time confused about the pleasure of Bracken’s kiss. In the next few minutes she told the old priest everything. She did not spare herself or Bracken but told all she could recall of that which had transpired in the last weeks.

“And now you’re going to tell me,” Megan concluded, her voice resigned, “that if I don’t make peace with Bracken I’m going to be miserable.”

“No,” Father Brent said. “I’m not going to say that. This anger you feel—this anger that rides so close beneath the surface that it comes out at a moment’s notice, this anger that you say is directed at your mother and Lord Bracken—is not toward them at all.”

“Of course it is,” Megan argued, but Father Brent would not let her continue.

“Is God sovereign, Megan?”

“Sovereign?” she stumbled over the word.

“The supreme ruler, in absolute, unlimited control of everything at all times,” he explained.

“Certainly,” Megan answered as soon as she understood. “He is God.”

“So whose will is it that King Henry has sent this decree?”

Megan looked at him but didn’t answer.

“And whose will was it, hard as it was, that your mother sent you ahead of schedule? God is in control, Megan, and has been all along. The anger that you feel toward all of these people and circumstances is actually directed at your heavenly Father.”

Megan’s lungs emptied on these words. Her hand came to her lips. What had she done? For weeks now she’d boiled with rage at Bracken, King Henry, her mother, and even her father, but they were not at the source. It was God and God alone. He was in control, and when all
the rubble was cleared away Megan could see that she had been lashing out in fury toward
Him.

“I can see that I’ve made you think,” Father Brent went on compassionately. “And I would be glad to pray with you. But if I remember correctly, you would probably prefer to have some time alone.”

“Yes, I would.” Megan rose slowly.

“Then before you go, I would like to give you something.”

Megan watched the priest bring out a square, thick volume from a bag at his side. It was not overly large, but when he handed it to Megan she found it quite heavy

“It’s the Psalms and Proverbs, Megan, and it’s for you.”

“The
Bible?”
she whispered incredulously “In
English?”

“Just two books, child, but I know God will use them to bless and teach you. I must warn you, Megan, there are some people who would burn such a volume; you must take care with it lest you lose it.”

“I will,” she said, tears standing in her eyes. “Thank you, Father Brent. Thank you so much.”

The elderly man smiled as Megan clasped the book to her and moved toward the door, confident that she would take care of the Scriptures as well as the sin of which she was now aware. He knew that some of the sisters were waiting to see him, but he took time then and there to pray for Megan’s heart.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him; fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; fret not thyself in any way to do evil.”

Megan finished reading out of Psalm 37 and then wept into her pillow.

“I have sinned against You, Father God. I have been enraged against Your holy plan,” Megan cried out quietly. “I do feel like a pawn in the king’s game, but You are in control, and I now confess my anger. Please
cleanse me, Lord, so that I may know Your peace. I have wanted my way more than Yours, and I confess that as well.

“I know that I’ll stumble in this again, Father God, but help me through each trial. I have been so hard on Bracken. I have been so impossible to live with. Help me to care for him and to be the wife I need to be. Help him to deal gently with me and with kindness. Help me to forgive King Henry and my mother and to really see this as Your hand.

“My desire is to do Your will, Father God. Please help me to be strong in this pledge. Thank You for sending Father Brent to me. Thank You for his words of rebuke. Help me to heed them from this point on. In Your holy name I pray, Amen.”

Megan lay spent now, her body heavy with fatigue but her heart light with her confession. The way she had been acting, the defensive way in which she’d lived, was all so clear. Bracken still intimidated her in many ways, but she could see now that he had been trying.

Megan was not at all hungry, but she wanted to speak with the sisters whom she would not see again. She was weary as she made her way from her room, but the look on Megan’s face made it very evident to both the Reverend Mother and Sister Agatha that something had changed.

In the morning Megan made her goodbyes swiftly. Leaving the sisters this time was nearly as painful as the first. However, there was a marked difference about her, a serenity, and she caught Bracken staring at her as he helped her onto the back of the horse.

“I’ll be leading as we begin,” he told her. “You will ride about halfway back. If you have need of me, just send Stephen.”

Megan nodded. “Thank you, Bracken.”

She watched him stride away, and it wasn’t two minutes before they moved out in a double line of about
25
men. Kendrick was beside her, and Stephen was to the front. She didn’t know the other men, but they talked as they rode. She soon learned that the man behind her was Owen and the man in front and to the side of Stephen was Stafford. Stafford, along with some of the other men, was not a knight of the realm, but rode in fealty to Bracken’s keep.

“What is in your sack, Stafford?” Owen called, a teasing note in his voice.

“You’re a busy thing, Owen,” Stafford told him in no uncertain terms.

“I’d rather like to know as well,” Stephen cut in. Megan could see the smile on his face.

“Stafford is in love with Pen, Lady Megan,” Kendrick told her. Megan nodded and smiled as well.

“I know Pen,” she stated and watched Stafford’s neck go red. “I met her at the creamery.”

Stafford couldn’t help himself; he turned to look at Megan. Indeed, Pen had told him all about Lady Megan’s work out there, and he was still amazed.