The Jumbee (17 page)

Swallowing her agitation, Esti lifted her glass. “And a toast to the best Nurse I’ve ever known.” She smiled at Carmen and Lucia. “And to an amazing Lady Capulet.” They had just pulled off the show of a lifetime; it was the performance she had always dreamed of. Everyone had seen the talent scouts converging on Rodney afterward, chattering with excitement.

To her relief, she felt Rafe rise to his feet, pulling her up along with him. “We’re leaving,” he said. “I think Juliet needs some recovery time.”

“Yeah sure, Solomon,” Chaz said. “We all know what you think Juliet needs.”

Although Esti’s mouth tightened at the laughter that swept through the cast, Rafe didn’t let go of her hand. He led her outside the little café, stopping only when they reached the far edge of the sand.

“You’re not doing so good, are you?” he asked. “What’s going on?”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Her body still ached with the passion of Juliet, and she had no idea how to handle it. Before she could decide what to say, Rafe abruptly leaned over and scooped one arm behind her knees. In a single motion, he picked her up and carried her into the water.

“Rafe, stop.” She pushed against him with her fists. Suddenly she realized she was afraid, and it wasn’t because she thought she would drown. Rafe’s arms felt delicious and perfect, despite everything she knew about him, and she knew she was hovering on the brink of something dangerous.

“Shh. I’m professional, remember?” Rafe stopped only when the water reached the level of his chest. Letting go of her legs, he steadied her against him, holding her gently by the waist. “My mom used to do this whenever I got upset as a little kid. She told me the sea would always give me strength when I need it.”

As the warm swells rocked her with their gentle rhythm, Esti took a deep breath, trying to relax.

“My parents’ house is on Coqui Beach,” Rafe said softly, staring out over the infinite ocean. “I remember having a lot of bad dreams when I was little. Whenever we were back here on vacation, my mom would bring me outside in the middle of the night and carry me into the sea. For some reason, the water always made my nightmares disappear.”

To Esti’s surprise, she
did
feel better..

“My dad’s gotta be racking up a huge phone bill after what you did tonight.” Rafe looked back at her with an awkward grin that reminded her very much of her devoted best friend in grade school, then he slowly shook his head in puzzlement. “You sure don’t seem too happy about it. Are you okay?”

“I’m thrilled.” Esti forced a wry smile. “Just feeling a little lost. Maybe my soul is pissed off because it can’t find me.”

“You mean Juliet isn’t letting Esti back in?” His teasing eyes caught hers, reflecting the light from the beach bar, and she found herself leaning into him before she could stop herself.

Her lips touched his with a shock that hit her body like a bolt of lightning. As he eagerly returned the kiss, drawing her against him, she wrapped her arms around his neck. The warm sea tickled her skin as she clung to him for a fabulous moment of bliss, and then reality crashed down on her.

She should be with Alan, not Rafe. She
wanted
to be with Alan. Yanking herself away, she stretched her legs through the water, looking for a place to put her feet. Alan should be celebrating her success with her, showing the world their triumph together. How could he hide at a time like this?

Rafe grabbed her as she overbalanced, her head dipping beneath the warm, salty swell for an instant. When he pulled her up, she shoved him away, choking for air.

“Chill,” he said, “or you’re going to take us both down.”

Still gasping, she let him carry her through the water until it became shallow enough for her to walk. Her soul had apparently returned, every bit as soggy and disheveled as the rest of her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. She doubted if even Shakespeare could have come up with a more embarrassing first kiss.

To her surprise, he let out a burst of laughter. “Did you just apologize for kissing me?”

A whirlwind of emotions raged through her, sucking any intelligent response out of her mind and throwing it straight into the sea. Although she still tingled from the touch of Rafe’s lips, a far more bewildering passion roiled deep beneath the surface.
Juliet has only one Romeo.

“I’m a little confused,” Rafe said. “You got a boyfriend or not?”

You’re
confused? She couldn’t bring herself to look at Rafe as she nodded.

“Is he the reason you’re scared?”

At the hint of machismo in his voice, Esti couldn’t help wondering if Rafe had known all along it would take less than twenty-four hours before she kissed him. “I’m not afraid of him,” she said tightly.

“Where is he?”

“I can’t talk about it.” She sagged, knowing she sounded utterly ungrateful for everything Rafe had done today. “Thanks for helping me, but I need to go home.”

Rafe stared at her for a long time, then finally nodded. “Yeah, mon. Whatever you want.”

Act Two. Scene Three.

She was surprised by her strong sense of purpose as she turned on the stage lights. Aurora had been asleep when Rafe dropped her off at the house, and Esti had stayed home only long enough to change out of her wet clothes. Although she’d barely slept during the past forty-eight hours, she felt wired with adrenaline. She quickly made her way to the little basement room and sat in the chair that always waited for her.

“Alan?” Maybe it was because of her overwhelming physical response to Rafe, but the empty darkness seemed creepy tonight.

“Alan.” She tapped her fingers on her chair, ready to wait all night if she had to. “I need to talk to you.”

“I knew you wouldn’t abandon me in our moment of triumph.”

She grew rigid at the heavy formality in his voice. She felt as tightly wound as a spring, her body thrumming with anticipation and dread at his words.
He
was the one who had abandoned
her
tonight.

“What a consummate performance,” Alan added, his admiration apparent. “One of the best I’ve ever seen. Yet, I must have done something wrong.” His voice grew soft. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I wanted so badly to talk to you after each performance. Your father always said you would outshine him someday.”

The oddly phrased compliment made her hair stand on end, and she nervously rubbed her arms. “My dad never said that.”

Alan was silent for a moment. “Your success is what we’ve been working toward since I met you.”

“Is it?” she asked softly. “I don’t know what we’ve been working toward. All I know is that this—whatever it is—isn’t enough anymore.”

“Ahh.”

“Alan, I need—”

“That explains Rafe Solomon.”

She froze.

“He’s very handsome. I understand he has an easy way with girls, but I’m surprised to see you fall for that sort of thing.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm.

“Does he know about me?”

“I didn’t tell him anything.”

“I see.” Alan’s voice tightened.

“We used to be friends. He’s nice, that’s all.”

“Apparently you find him nice indeed.”

She swallowed convulsively. “He’s
real,
” she finally said. “He doesn’t hide from me.”

Alan was quiet for a long time. “I’m a fool.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You kissed him?”

Esti’s heart stopped for an instant. “Yes,” she forced out, “but—”

She heard a soft, strangled sound from the darkness.

“Alan, it’s
you
who turns me into Juliet.” The words burst from her before she could stop them. “You speak in sonnets and fill me with crazy passion, then you say I’m not allowed to see you or touch you. Alan, I can’t—”

“That’s right.” Alan caught his breath, painful and ragged. “You finally understand.”

“No, I don’t!” She leaped to her feet in agitation. “I can’t pretend anymore. And don’t act like you don’t care. You’re all I ever think about, and you must think about me, too. I
need
to see you.”

“No.” The coldness in his voice raked ice through her veins.

“You’re not a jumbee,” she cried. “I don’t believe that.”

“It makes no difference what you believe.”

“But Alan—”

“The mistake was mine, not yours.” His voice slowly became more controlled. “I knew it the first moment I saw you here. I never should have spoken to you.”

“No!” Esti clamped down on her desperation, her chest threatening to explode. “I need you. Before I met you, I wasn’t an actress. You pulled me out of my dad’s shadow, and you gave me my life back.”

“Ah, The Great Legard.” Alan’s voice had come very close. “I no longer know whether to worship him or damn him.”

“What are you talking about?” Unable to stop herself, Esti reached into the darkness with outstretched fingers. “Alan, please!” Her skin quivered with the certainty of his closeness, but she felt nothing. Where
was
he?

“I am in love with you, Esti.” She heard pain and bitterness in his soft laughter.

She fell back into her chair, stunned. “What?”

“I would like to blame it on your father.”

“You
love
me?” she whispered.

“Desperately, hopelessly. And if you truly knew me, you would despise me.” The pain was gone now from his beautiful voice. All his emotion was gone, replaced by a dead woodenness she’d never heard before. “You don’t need me, and I will end this before we destroy each other. I won’t be coming back; let Rafe Solomon give you what you need.”

“No!” She lunged to her feet, already knowing the attempt was futile. Alan was gone.

Ma Harris discovered her early the next afternoon, deep in exhausted sleep in a corner of the dark basement room. Esti didn’t resist as Lucia’s mother silently helped her to her feet. She followed her up the stairs and through the tiny passage, coming onstage with eyes swollen and pounding. Once again, she was surrounded by dozens of people and loud voices. She blinked at the brightness, then glanced down at herself, half expecting to see a plastic knife sticking out of her chest.

No, this must be a new drama.

“Where was she?”

Startled, Esti looked into the dark eyes of a policeman.

Ma Harris shook her head with a cryptic look. “She had just appear, Mister Wilmuth. You leave she alone. She shook up bad, an’ she don’t need no jandam.”

“Esti!” Aurora’s voice flew across the theater from the main door, high-pitched and scared. “My God, where have you been?”

“Miss Legard—” the policeman began.

“You gon leave she alone, Mister Wilmuth,” Ma Harris interrupted. “She shook up right now.”

Esti forced herself to look at Officer Wilmuth. He backed off from Lucia’s mom, retreating to the front row of the theater, but his eyes didn’t leave Esti as he sat down beside another policeman. The balding white cop beside him barked words into a small radio, letting the world know that Esti Legard had reappeared.

“I’ve been worried sick!” Aurora ran up onstage, flinging her arms around Esti. “You disappeared last night after Rafe brought you home, and people have been talking about this jumbee—”

“I’m sorry.” Esti groaned, covering her face with her hands as her midnight memories came flooding back. She’d been so exhausted, she must have fallen asleep in the basement room.

Aurora gave her a frightened look.

“You sure know how to make your entrances and exits.” Carmen studied Esti in awe as she came up onstage. “I should start taking notes. Lucia
said
her mom would be able to find you. Were you really kidnapped by the jumbee?”

“Of course not.” Breathing hard, Esti swung around to stare at Lucia’s mother. The dark face gave nothing away.

“Rafe and his dad are out with the cops, looking for you,” Chaz said behind Carmen. “Only the Solomons can get the jandam moving so fast. It usually takes Rafe at least a week to get ’em stirred up, though.”

“You’re a lot better at publicity than Danielle,” Carmen added with a weak smile. “Why
not
play up the jumbee thing while you got so many talent scouts watching you?”

“This isn’t a publicity stunt,” Aurora said, rounding furiously on them. “Esti doesn’t need manufactured drama when she isn’t onstage.”

“All the world’s a stage,” Esti blurted out. Aurora had no idea how much drama filled her daughter’s life these days.

As everyone looked at Esti again, she began giggling. She couldn’t help herself; she felt too bizarre and terrible. She laughed harder as Carmen and Chaz backed away, their faces uncertain. Yeah, she’d finally gone off the deep end. An invisible catapult had taken over her life, gleefully flinging her into chaos. She collapsed against Aurora, guffaws shaking her body. Laughter consumed her, possessing her body like a jumbee might—except that jumbees didn’t exist. Maybe Alan never existed at all.