The Jewish Dog (7 page)

“He must be asking himself what that horrid language is.” Baruch tried to guess my thoughts
.
“He must think it's just a humorless Yiddish dialect.”

“Yes,” Kalman agreed
,
petting my head softly
.
“Hitler's Yiddish is indeed garbled and unclear.”

Baruch smiled sadly.

Suddenly
,
Kugel crossed the line
.
I was playing harmlessly with an old sock that Kalman had given me
,
when Kugel came with no warning and sunk his teeth into the edge of the sock
.
He growled aggressively
,
a growl that got louder by the moment
.
A growl that meant ‘let go
,
and if you don't – I'll bite!'

“Father!” the children called
,
the growls having roused them from their rooms
.
“Tell them to stop!” They were concerned that the sock tug-of-war would escalate into a real fight.

“Children,” Kalman said
,
as he separated me and Kugel
,
“sit on the sofa
,
please.”

He presented the confiscated sock to the children and declared
,
“Whoever wins the trial will win the sock.”

“I will represent Kugel,” his owner said.

“And I will represent Caleb,” said Kalman
.
“As for Mother
,
well
,
even though she's related to one of the counselors
,
namely me
,
we appoint her to preside over us on the bench.”

“We will now hear the opening arguments in the Caleb vs
.
Kugel case,” Shoshana said
.
“The prosecution has the floor.”

Baruch Zonenfeld made a solid claim
.
“First of all
,
my client's sole intention was playing
.
It was Caleb who turned an innocent tug-of-war game into a dispute
.
Moreover
,
up until he took his first bite
,
my client had no idea that the item was a sock
,
let alone that there was a dog at the other end
.
Additionally
,
my client would like to note that he is well-versed in food-finding laws
,
and anyone who knows my client will testify that he is a law-abiding canine
.
It is clear that in this case he has the right to the sock.”

“Well,” Shoshana turned to Kalman
.
“What is your response?”

“I sincerely hope,” Kalman said
,
“that my colleague's self-contradictory statements haven't confused Her Honor
,
and that she won't be blinded by the witty council's sharp tongue.”

Shoshana smiled at Kalman
,
and asked him to vow in the name of his client
,
myself
,
that the sock was my own.

Kalman vowed in my name
:
“If I live to be a hundred and three
,
I'll never pee on another tree.”

In the end
,
Her Honor Frau Gottlieb decided on joint custody
.
“Kugel will receive half the sock and Caleb will receive the other half.”

I found the verdict abominable
,
but my barks of objection were overruled
.
Everyone celebrated the successful conclusion of a fair trial
,
and I alone was left feeling deceived
,
deprived
,
and betrayed.

CHAPTER 8

O
ne morning I awoke with no appetite
.
I was nauseous and dizzy
,
and there seemed to be an elephant squatting on my chest.

“Mother,” Reizel called out
,
concerned
,
“what's wrong with Caleb? Why won't he eat?”

Shoshana looked me over and replied
,
“He may be sick.”

By the afternoon
,
my breaths were shallow and rattling
,
and my body was shaking uncontrollably.

“There are old clothes in the
boidem
,
”
Shoshana told her children
.
“Wrap a shirt around him.”

They wrapped the old shirt around me when they took me out for walks in the cold winter air
.
The improvised outfit was embarrassing and didn't protect me from the chill inside me
.
I lay around for three days like a lump in the living room corner
.
The illness raged
.
My breath was wheezy
.
An upset stomach kept me off my feet
.
Shoshana and Kalman brought in the vet with worried looks on their faces
.
Doktor Richard Hess announced that my days were numbered
.
The diagnosis
:
a severe nasal infection and a swollen liver
.
He took a ­syringe out of his bag and recommended putting me down
.
Shoshana and Kalman considered his suggestion with utmost seriousness
,
but Herschel wouldn't hear of it
.
That night
,
nightmare followed nightmare
.
I saw my late brother
,
the moment his head dropped for the final time
.
I feared that my head would soon drop with the same finality
,
never to rise again
.
Sleep scared me
.
What if my soul He would not keep?

I heard a voice.

It sounded as though Kalman was calling me
,
and I walked over to Shoshana and Kalman's bedroom
,
only to find a closed door
.
I could hear Kalman's snores
,
Shoshana's deep breaths.

I returned to my corner and heard the voice call my name again.

I wandered from room to room
,
but everyone was fast asleep
.
Back on my rug
,
I could feel all my limbs succumbing to exhaustion
.
I fell into a deep sleep
.
In my vision
,
I heard the voice say:

“Fear not
,
Caleb
.
I am thy protector
,
and your reward shall be great.”

“Must this come right before I die?” I asked in my dream.

The voice in the dream granted me but one wish
.
“What shall I give you?”

And I spake
,
“I am but a small pup
,
and I know not the ways of life
.
If You may
,
please grant Your servant a heart that understands the speech of man.”

And He said to me
,
“As you have asked for this
,
and you asked not for steaks or wieners
,
and you asked not for vengeance against thine enemies
,
I will grant your wish
.
I shall give you a wise and understanding heart so that there never was
,
nor will there ever be
,
anyone like you – a dog among dogs for all time
.
And I will give unto your offspring this land
,
and the Canaanite
,
and the Dalmatian
,
and the Saluki
,
from the river of Egypt to. . . .”

I awoke.

There was no one around me
,
but I could practically reach out my paw and touch the voice that had spoken
.
I stared into the darkness until I fell asleep once more
.
At the break of dawn
,
Herschel came and pried my jaws open
.
He used a syringe to squirt chicken soup and sugar water into my mouth
.
The forced feeding strengthened me and I thanked him with a single lick
.
He faithfully administered liquids several times a day
.
Slowly
,
his efforts paid off
.
Within a few days
,
I was able to eat on my own
.
From that moment
,
I swore to follow Herschel wherever he went
.
I wouldn't leave him alone for a moment
.
I knew that without his adamant objection to the doctor's recommendation and but for his undying devotion
,
I would be. . . .

In the days that Herschel nursed me on my sickbed
,
there was a general gloominess in the air
.
Dinners were chewed in silence
,
and this silence was rarely broken.

“Were you at the Ministry of the Interior today?” Shoshana asked
,
“Did you take care of the name changes?”

Kalman responded with a curt nod and placed five booklets on the table.

“Sarah and Israel.” Shoshana examined the booklets
.
“Just like your parents.”

“You should have seen the clerk
.
She had this sign above her
,
‘Head of Jewish Passport Department.' She was a typical cold bureaucrat
,
and wore as much makeup as a call-girl
.
You would think she was doing us a favor
.
And you wouldn't believe the fee they charged for it!”

“So do we have to call Reizel ‘Sarah' now?” Herschel asked.

“And you're Israel from now on,” Reizel retorted
,
sticking her tongue out.

“Enough with the rubbish,” Kalman ruled
.
“We needn't change a thing!”

And Joshua said
,
“Only Caleb gets to stay Caleb.”

CHAPTER 9

I
was sitting at Kalman's feet in the living room
.
The children had already gone out
,
book-bags on their backs
.
Shoshana had departed with a basket
.
Several times a week
,
she would leave with an empty basket
,
always to return with the basket brimming with goodies
.
I had no idea how she did it.

Suddenly
,
the doorknob turned and the door opened.

The guests hadn't bothered to knock
,
and being familiar with human etiquette
,
I could tell that something was wrong
.
Intruders
!
I said to myself
.
The hairs on my nape stood on end
.
I pulled my ears back and barked
,
baring my fangs
.
I could hear my jaws snapping together between each bark
.
I tensed all my muscles and I was ready to bite
.
I was even ready to be struck
.
The meaning of my barks was clear
:
back off or I'll attack.

One of them took a greyish silver object out of his pocket
.
Kalman leapt from his seat and stood between me and the intruders
.
He grabbed my collar firmly and lifted me until my front paws were off the ground.

“Quiet
,
Caleb
!
Quiet!” Kalman ordered me
.
“No
!
Stupid dog
!
No barking!”

Kalman looked anxiously at the two men who had invaded his home.

The shiny object was returned to the man's pocket.

“We're here to make a property appraisal,” said the man
,
who was short and stout
.
He took two steps forward
,
his folds of fat following close behind
.
He and his friend walked between the rooms, holding notepads
.
Kalman wouldn't let go of my collar the entire time they were there
.
He heard the furious grunts coming from my throat
,
muted but ready to burst out at any moment
,
and held me tight
.
“No
,
Caleb,” he said
.
“Quiet
.
No barking.”

I knew that Kalman was not happy to see these guests
.
I could sense that he felt threatened
,
and I wanted to chase away the source of danger with a bark and a bite
.
I wanted Kalman to know that I would give my life for him
,
but I remained silent.

Kalman could see I understood that it was best to remain silent
,
and petted the back of my neck softly.

“Good dog,” he said
.
“Good dog.”

When the two finally left, I began barking loudly. Kalman came up to me once again, calming me with a pat, and whispering in my ear.

“Yes, my sparrow.

Yes, my chick.

Yes, my lark.

Yes, now you can bark.”

Shoshana returned and placed the basket of food on the table. She was holding a letter.

“Don't ask,” she told Kalman
,
her voice strung with frustration
.
“I stood in line for two hours
,
and in the end they didn't even have any. . . .” She glanced at Kalman and saw in his expression that something was wrong
.
“Are you all right?” she asked
.
“Did something happen?”

“Two pencil pushers came by
.
I'm glad you weren't here
.
They came to get a property appraisal
.
One of them almost shot Caleb.”

Shoshana froze
.
“Brutes!”

“Scum of the earth,” Kalman confirmed
.
“One dwarf with glasses and a porcupine haircut who wouldn't let go of his ballpoint pen for a second
,
and the other a skinny ‘four-eyes' with an evil glare and a jumpy Adam's apple
.
You should have seen how they walked around the house as though they owned it all
.
And their ever-so-witty comments
.
‘I've never seen rats raising a dog.' I hope those damn National Socialists burn in hell!”

“Thank God they didn't hurt Caleb.”

“Caleb is a smart dog,” Kalman said
.
“It's unbelievable
.
He understood that he needed to sit quietly
.
He acted as though he really understood everything
.
Like a human.”

Then he looked at the letter in her hand
.
“And what came in the mail?”

“Herr Buchwald
,
the school principal
,
would like to meet with us,” Shoshana reported
.
“It's probably about a certain note of a romantic nature that the literature teacher intercepted during class.”

Kalman took his wife's hand in his own
.
“I was sure the teacher would want to punish Joshua for passing notes in class
.
Who would have thought that he would recommend to the principal to cultivate our young
,
budding poet?”

“Well,” Shoshana said with a smile
,
“he certainly didn't get his talent from me.”

Kalman smiled back
.
“At least one of my children is following in my footsteps
.
I started writing at that age myself
.
My mother saved a handful of things I wrote
.
I need to ask her where she keeps my manuscripts
.
That is
,
if she still remembers.”

“I find it hard to believe that she saved them,” Shoshana let go of her husband's hand
.
“You know how she cleans for Passover
.
Plenty of gems have found their way into the wastebasket.”

Kalman responded with a sigh of agreement.

“Did you write as nicely as Joshua?” Shoshana asked.

Kalman hesitated for a moment
.
“No
.
If I recall correctly
,
at his age I couldn't rhyme half as well as he
.
Though I did first find love at that age. . . .”

“Yes
,
yes,” Shoshana said hurriedly
.
“So we've heard.”