The Institute (6 page)

“Whoa, I don’t
know if you know this but I’m not into girls,” she laughs, “I can’t
stay long. I just wanted to let you know I am okay. I am with your
mother,” she says. She’s with my mother?

I must have
fallen asleep after all. I open my eyes and realise it was just a
horrible, terrible dream. Ebbodine is not back, she’s still out
there somewhere, trying to get home, or worse.

I don’t care if
it will make it worse, I have to know. Where did I put that file? I
pull my backpack over to me and pull out the file. I switch the
bedside lamp on, breathe deep and begin to read.

I immediately
wish I hadn’t opened it. Under the personal information box right
under my mother’s name says:

Status:
Missing. (?) Abandonment.

Chapter
Four

I don’t know
what to do with this information. I don’t exactly know what I was
expecting to read but Mum abandoning us hadn’t even crossed my
mind. She was murdered, the police told us that. Didn’t they? I try
and remember back to when I was told she was dead and I realise, it
wasn’t the police at all. It was Dad. Why would he lie? Did he
think it would be easier for us to handle if we thought she was
dead?

I now know why
Shilah didn’t want me to see this. He’s probably just as upset as I
am, if not more so. If she really did leave us voluntarily it’s
because she got sick of living the life of the Defective. She
didn’t want to protect her own son. I should go to him and comfort
him, but then he will know that I read the file and didn’t listen
to him. Maybe I should just leave it. As far as anyone is aware and
as hard as it will be to keep my mouth shut about this, I didn’t
read that file.

Are the police
going to think Ebbodine has just run off too? It was already a
theory they were talking about after all. I know that seeing her in
my room was just a dream but it felt so real, like she really was
here with me. I think it must be my mind’s way of dealing with the
fact that she is not coming back, and in all likelihood is dead. I
can’t believe she just left without telling anyone a single word.
Why would she need to do that?

I tell myself I
need to sleep, but all I can do is think of Ebb.

It’s funny to
think that something as horrible as having to write that assignment
about the Institute now has a nice memory attached to it. It
brought me my one and only true friendship, well as true a
friendship as I could possibly have.

At first I was
very intimidated by Ebb’s confidence but once I got to know her, I
realised how genuine and loyal a friend she really was. Now she’s
gone and I’m still here, numb from the pain and confusion. I don’t
know how I’m going to survive school tomorrow, or even if I will
go. I guess I can decide after I drop the file back off at Ebb’s
house.

I look at the
clock on my bedside table and watch the hands tick by until I
finally pass out.

***

Walking to
Ebbodine’s house, I am overwhelmed by the memories of having walked
this road many times. For the last three years Ebb’s house has been
like a second home to me. Knowing she is not going to be there when
I arrive makes me anxious. The fact I arrive and the police are
there makes me even more anxious, but for a different reason.

I let myself in
the back door and carefully put my mother’s file back in the stack
before anyone notices me. I can hear Mrs. Marshall and the police
talking in the living room and decide to slip back out the way I
came. I am curious to know what the police think but I don’t want
to have to talk to them. I get nervous around anyone with more
power than me and find myself getting tongue tied. Even when I’m
completely telling the truth I can hear a tone of doubt coming
through – even I wouldn’t believe me half the time. I’m nearly out
of the door when I hear Ebbodine’s mum call out.

“Allira? Is
that you?” Damn, how did she know it was me?

“Yes, I was
just returning that … uh, thing that I borrowed.” I assume she
didn’t have permission to lend that file to me so I don’t want to
rat her out by saying it out aloud. “Did you need me for
something?”

A man’s voice
replies, “Oh yes, we were just talking about you, please come in.”
Shit. Talking about me? Why?

I walk into the
living room and see the young, tall police officer who was at
Drew’s car accident, the one who insisted I get a ride home with
them that afternoon.

“Hello, Miss
Daniels. It’s nice to see you again,” he starts. I take that he
remembers my name as a bad sign, a very bad sign. “I’m Officer
Blaine. Do you mind if we ask you a few things about your
friend?”

“I’m actually
on my way to school right now,” I reply, looking for my escape.

“We won’t keep
you long. Can you tell us when the last time you saw Ebbodine
was?”

Damn it, I
didn’t think the school excuse would work but it was worth a try.
Just breathe, relax and answer honestly,
I tell myself.

“Umm, it was
about a week ago.”

“Are you aware
of anyone that she was spending time with? Anyone she wouldn’t
normally talk to, or see socially?” he asks.

“No. I don’t
think so.” I try to think. “I really can’t think of anyone.”

The next twenty
minutes are filled with back and forth questions and answers, all
pretty much the same questions just worded differently.
“Did you
notice anything off about her behaviour that day? Has she been
acting strange lately?”
I’m actually relieved when I look at
the time and realise I really do have to get to school. I can’t
believe I’m actually excited to be going to school.

My feeling is
short lived though. When I arrive at school, the stares are even
worse than yesterday. I would love nothing more than to ditch again
but I really can’t afford to do that every day. I need to face it
sooner or later, if only it could be later.

It’s so hard to
concentrate in any of my classes. I constantly go to turn and talk
to Ebb, only to be reminded that she’s gone when I see that the
seat next to me is empty. I feel like I’m on auto pilot, walking
the halls from class to class with no recollection of how I got to
each one. I’m relieved I only have one class left to endure and I
will have made it through the whole day. But I’ve just remembered
which class I have next – it’s Mr. Williams’ English class – Chad’s
dad.

As I walk in
and take my seat, I’m surprised to see Mr. Williams is here today.
Why would he come to work just a week after his son has gone
missing? I was completely expecting a substitute to be here
instead. I am studying his face for any sign of concern or grief
over his son but there’s nothing; he’s cool, calm and collected as
though nothing is even wrong.

I think it’s
the most attention I have paid in class all day but I have no idea
what he is talking about. All I keep thinking is how completely
normal he is behaving for someone going through such a hard time.
Maybe Drew was wrong and this Chad Williams person is not related
to him at all.

“Okay class
that is all for today, you’re dismissed,” Mr. Williams says.

Dismissed
already? I feel like I have literally just sat down. I’ve been so
distracted that I didn’t realise time was going so quickly. Most of
the students are already out of the door before I have even started
putting my books in my bag.

“Allira, can I
speak to you for a moment?” I hear Mr. Williams ask as I pass his
desk. The rest of the students leave and Mr. Williams shuts the
door behind him. “I heard about Miss Marshall, how are you holding
up?”

“Umm okay, I
guess,” I reply.

“You are her
best friend, yes?” he queries.

“Yes,” I reply.
Is it weird that he’s asking me this? It feels weird.

“Do you know if
they have any ideas of where she could be?”

“No, sorry. The
police were at her house this morning when I went to see her mum
but they didn’t mention any news.” I look at Mr. Williams and see
that he is now noticeably upset. Teachers talking to you about
things other than school or homework is just awkward, one crying in
front of you is even worse. “Are you worried about Chad?” I
ask.

“Chad, how do
you know about Chad?” he asks urgently.

“I saw his
missing persons report. The police gave it to Ebbodine’s mum along
with a few others. They wanted to know if any of them knew
Ebbodine,” I say.

“Did she tell
the police about him?”

“I don’t think
so, I’m not sure. She might have, I told her he used to teach here
but I only knew that because someone else told me. Did Ebb know
Chad well?”

He’s getting
flustered and searching for the right words, I can tell by the way
he is fiddling with the papers on his desk, his hands are shaking.
“Oh, she had him for a few classes last year when he was teaching,
that’s all.”

He’s clearly
hiding something, that line was about as convincing as when I
promised Ebb I would wear the heels she once gave me.

“They were
together weren’t they?” It’s quite obvious by the look on his face
that I shouldn’t have asked that. “I’m sorry, that’s a really
inappropriate thing to ask. You don’t have to answer.”

His look says
it all anyway. Mr. Williams is openly weeping now and I don’t think
I have ever felt this awkward in my whole life. This is worse than
when Dad tried to talk to me about the birds and the bees. I think
I would rather it if Mr. Williams would go back to pretending like
nothing is wrong.

“I told him to
stop, I knew he would get himself into trouble. He was going to be
a teacher, a proper one and then he had to go and fall for a
student and ruin everything.” He sighs, “Now I don’t even know
where he is,” he says.

“Do you think
they are together now?” I ask, a little stunned by this
revelation.

“I’m sorry
Allira, I really shouldn’t have pulled you into this. I really
shouldn’t have been talking to you about it at all.” I know he
shouldn’t have as well but I’m glad he did.

“That’s okay
Mr. Williams, I won’t tell anyone.” The rumour mill is working
overtime with Ebbodine missing, I don’t want to add fuel to the
fire.

I leave the
room a little confused but also with a little bit of hope. Will
Ebbodine come home when this relationship fizzles out? Is that
where she really is, shacked up with our English teacher’s son? It
seems plausible.

I spot Drew on
my way out of school. “I just had the weirdest conversation,” I
blurt out.

“Oh really?
That sounds interesting.” He flashes me a smile and I almost lose
my train of thought as I involuntarily smile back at him. Smiling
when I’m around him has become a reflex. I know I only just
promised Mr. Williams that I wouldn’t tell anyone but I have to
tell someone, it’s the best news I have got in weeks.

I lean in and
talk in a hushed tone so no one else can hear me, “Mr. Williams
thinks Ebbodine is with his son Chad and they have run off
together. I don’t know where Carwyn fits in – possibly she was
dating them both at the same time but Mr. Williams is pretty
convinced it’s true. She never told me but seeing as he was
teaching here, I guess it would make sense for her to keep it a
secret.”

I would like to
be a little offended that she kept this from me but it’s not like I
haven’t kept secrets from her.

“Well, that’s
good news isn’t it? There’s still a chance she’s not far away and
will be home soon,” he says.

I nod, “It’s
the first time I have felt the slightest bit of hope since she
disappeared.”

“Hey, we should
do something fun tonight,” Drew suggests as we start walking to the
train station.

Fun? Is he
kidding? I already feel guilty enough around him, like I shouldn’t
be happy when there’s so much going on. I should be doing more to
find Ebbodine. I give him a look that must say I’m less than
impressed with the idea.

He touches my
arm lightly, “You don’t need to give me that look, Allira. All I am
trying to say is you are constantly worried about your current
situation, it’s a lot to handle on your own. You are allowed to
have a little fun and we haven’t really been out on a date
yet.”

So we are
dating then? Did I miss the part where he asked me? Or is this his
way of doing it?

His
heart-melting smile makes it too hard to resist. He does have a
point. I can’t think of a single moment where I have not been
worried about Ebbodine, or remembering Jax’s face as the life
drained from it. It has been a lot to take in and I can feel it
starting to get on top of me. Maybe a night out isn’t such a
horrendous idea like I first thought.

“Okay. Where
exactly did you have in mind?” I ask.

“I know exactly
where we can go,” he smiles.

***

Drew takes me
to a secluded park close to where I live. “I didn’t even know this
place existed,” I say, thinking that maybe I should get out
more.

“I discovered
it not that long ago, no one is ever here,” he replies.

The unpaved
path in which Drew has taken me down is pitch black and I am
holding on to him for dear life, trying not to trip on tree roots
along the treacherous ground. I keep telling Drew that this wasn’t
a great idea, that I’m not exactly the most agile person around. I
recall to him the first day we ever spoke to each other, to remind
him of that fact.

He has a torch
with him and is trying his hardest to light my path for me but it’s
no use. I have trouble trying to walk when the only obstacle in
front of me is my own feet. Suddenly he picks me up and I’m hanging
over his shoulder with my butt up in the air.

“As classy as
this makes me feel, can you put me down please?” I guess he is not
taking me too seriously considering I’m laughing as I ask him
this.