The Institute (24 page)

Tate pats the
spot next to him on his bed and I go and sit up against the wall
with my head in his shoulder, just like I did yesterday. “You’re
not failing Allira. You’re doing what you have to, to survive this
place, this life.”
‘I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same
thing if I didn’t have a different ability.’

“I’m scared I
will end up hating myself. Although, they aren’t very impressed
with me already, I might not even pass my exams. I overheard the
psych lady telling the director she doesn’t think I will be able to
arrest anyone.”

“She’s
ambitious. I’d be more worried about you blowing your cover before
anything else,” he’s smiling and I assume he is joking, but it’s
probably true. “You will do fine. Maybe you could take whatever
they teach you and use it against them, sabotage a few
assignments.”

“Sure – because
as you just pointed out, I’d be so good at espionage when I can
barely hide my emotions as it is.”

“I just don’t
want you to turn into one of them and I know you feel the same. If
letting someone get away every now and then helps suppress the
guilt, it might be a small enough win to make you not hate
yourself. It’s just an idea.”

“How did you
get to be so smart?”

“By the time
you get to my age, my old, old age,” he laughs, “you will be just
as wisdomous and awesome as me.”

“So awesome
that I will know wisdomous isn’t a real word?” I grin.

“It is so a
word!” Tate exclaims.

“I don’t think
so.”

***

I’m definitely
making progress with finding my way around, I don’t get lost on my
way back from the Crypt and I give myself a mental high five when I
reach the elevator to the apartments. But my celebration is
overshadowed by the fact that when the elevator doors open, Chad is
in there. I just cannot catch a break from him today.

“Hey,” he says
as I get on the elevator.

“Umm, hi.” I
don’t know what to say around him. I’m scared anything will be met
with snarky cynicism.

“I was just on
my way back to apologise to you. Tate has to remind me all the time
just how rude I can be.”

I narrow my
eyes, I wasn’t expecting an apology from him. He doesn’t seem like
the apology type.

“Umm, that’s
okay.” I respond, I don’t really know what else to say to that.

“I didn’t
realise you were the girl he has been incessantly talking about.”
Tate has been talking about me? “So, in the spirit of becoming
friends, I came to offer you an escort to class in the morning.” I
raise my eyebrows at him. “I saw the way you went after we finished
today and was wondering if you would even be able to find it
tomorrow?” he asks with a smirk.

I guess mocking
me means he isn’t so sullen now.

“I’ve been
asking myself that same question actually,” I reply with a slight
smile, it is true after all.

“So I’ll see
you in the morning then?”

“Thanks. I’m in
apartment ninety-three.”

Chapter
Fifteen

Chad knocks on
my door to walk me to class. I am suddenly aware of the fact I that
I am nowhere near ready. I haven’t done my hair, I haven’t brushed
my teeth and I’m still wearing the top I spilled raspberry jam on
while eating breakfast. I’m a mess. Sure, I have looked worse since
I have been here, bruised and swollen, but I’m self-conscious about
how I look now that I am not in any pain. All I could think about
when I was bruised was how much I wanted to stop hurting, now I am
able to think of other things like how much my hair looks like a
bird’s nest – you know, the important things.

After I let
Chad in, I run into the bathroom and quickly brush my hair and
clean my teeth. I look in the mirror and see the bags under my
eyes, the frizziness of my hair, despite just brushing it and think
–
Well I think this is the best it’s going to get.
I tie my
hair back in a bun to try and tame some of the frizz and walk out
of the bathroom to find Chad sitting on my bed.

“I just have to
put my shoes on and we can go,” I say as I pull out one of the
dining chairs and sit down to lace up my boots.

“It’s a nice
place you have up here,” Chad says.

“Is it not the
same as yours? Were you put in a dorm too?”

“Too? I have my
own apartment. It’s just not as big as this one. I only have a
single bed, and it’s kind of squished in a tiny room with a
bathroom attached. I guess it is similar in size to Tate’s cell but
you know, with walls instead of bars.”

“Why is it that
I have this one? Shilah, my brother, was moved up here when I asked
them to put him close to me, but I think he must have a similar
apartment to yours. Before that he was sharing a dormitory.”

“Well, if I had
to guess, your boyfriend probably had something to do with it.”
There’s that pissed off tone again. I’m guessing Tate has filled
him in on Drew.

“Well, we’d
better get going,” I say trying to change the subject and move on,
I don’t want to get into that right now, not with Chad, not with
anyone for that matter.

We get up and
make our way down the hall. I can’t help but fidget and pull at the
sleeve of my top, I don’t know what to say. I am too self-conscious
about saying something stupid in front of him, it’s clear from what
I heard of his thoughts last night that he thinks I’m not the
sharpest tool in the shed.

I have to break
the silence though, it’s driving me crazy. “So today should be
fun!” I say with thick sarcasm.

He doesn’t
respond but he does smile, the sour look is gone from his face. His
square jawline becomes more prominent when he smiles and as I look
up at him, I see just how attractive Chad is, or could be if he
didn’t look so angry all of the time. The smile doesn’t last long
though and his sullen, brooding look is back.

When we arrive
at the history classroom, it’s a lot busier than our orientation
yesterday. We sneak in and take seats in the back, behind everyone
who is already sitting. I count and there are eleven, twelve
including me. I see Shilah down the front and the boys from
yesterday. I want to go sit with Shilah but he’s probably still mad
at me. I haven’t spoken to him since our fight and I don’t really
want to sit at the front of the classroom anyway, in front of
everyone else. I know they would only be staring at the back of my
head but that’s still too many eyes looking at me for my liking. I
guess my paranoia of being the centre of attention didn’t come from
having to hide Shilah’s secret after all, it’s just part of who I
am.

It isn’t long
before our ‘teacher’ walks in. I should have guessed Drew would pop
up again soon. I slouch down in my seat and cover my face. I am
definitely glad I didn’t go sit with Shilah now.

“Oh, you’ve got
to be kidding me – your boyfriend?” Chad mutters and slinks down in
the chair next to me.

“Yeah. Well no,
not anymore. Do you know him?” I reply.

Chad nods,
“From Eminent Falls, I always knew there was something suspicious
about him; the way he carried himself, the way he transferred
schools with only two weeks left in the school year, it just didn’t
sit right with me.”

I guess I never
thought of that before. I think I remember Ebb saying he
transferred so late because his mother wanted him to find friends
to spend time with over the break. Something like that anyway, I
didn’t really give it much thought.

Drew’s voice
startles me, “Hmm, it’s a shame you two don’t have an ability that
could make you invisible, you’d be more successful that way.” He
looks up at us, him and everyone else. So much for hiding in the
back of the room. Everyone is silent until Drew finally breaks his
glance and continues with the class. “Now as most of you know, your
usual teacher is out on assignment right now, so you’re stuck with
me for the next few weeks before I get re-assigned.”
Ooh, yay
for us
. Drew shoots me a look and I almost forgot he would know
what I am feeling. I think it’s time to put everything Tate taught
me about keeping my thoughts to myself to use. I just keep
thinking,
white noise, white noise, white noise.

Drew starts the
class with a slideshow of photos, showing the damage Defective
people have caused. It mainly focuses on the boy who made the
entire west coast of our country a toxic wasteland, but it has
other delightful things thrown in like forest fires, riots,
vandalism – you know, all of the things only Defective people could
be responsible for, of course. I roll my eyes and then quickly
remember to fill my head with white noise. It is confusing Drew, I
can tell. I try to suppress my smile. I look to Chad and see he is
just as entertained by the slideshow as I am, I think he might even
be asleep.

It’s the
longest hour and a half of my life and when it’s finally over I
realise exactly what that class was: the ‘influence’ class I
overheard Lynch and Mr. Brookfield talking about. I’m sure if you
put anyone in those classes for months on end, they too will start
to believe they are doing the right thing. Maybe that’s what
happened to Drew. It’s clear that’s not the first class he has ever
run, and if you stand around talking about how horrible Defective
people are, eventually you’re going to believe it, even if you are
one yourself.

I walk out of
the classroom absolutely exhausted; that was mentally draining. I
look at my schedule and see that I have fitness next. Great. Chad
and I actually have four out of five classes together, so it looks
like I will have to endure his not so pleasant behaviour for the
majority of the day, every day. At least I won’t have to go through
this alone, even if he is barely civil.

I follow him
down the hallway to our next class, which turns out to be a giant
room about the size of a basketball court, filled with rows of
different machines. I have no idea what they do but I have a
feeling I’m about to find out.

A tall, buff
man comes and greets us and lets us know that he will be assessing
us today. I recognise him from my first interrogation. His biceps
are as big as my head. He is the one who bruised my face. I scowl
at him but he doesn’t seem to notice. Either that or he just
doesn’t care.

“Okay new
recruits,” he says as he looks down at his clipboard. “I will be
assessing you today and will be with you for your first few fitness
classes until you settle in.” He sounds so thrilled about that too,
about as thrilled as I feel. I don’t want to have to work with the
guy who attacked me. Oh but of course, it wasn’t an ‘attack’, it
was a ‘test’, according to Mr. Brookfield. He sends us to get
dressed and I can tell I won’t be getting an apology anytime soon,
not that I should really expect one from a person like that. When I
come back out of the locker room, the room has filled with people
and they are already using machines. I watch intently and I try and
work out what they are doing.

Chad and I are
put on side by side machines that have a kind of conveyer belt. I
look at others on similar machines and see what I am meant to do.
When the machine starts, we just walk on the spot. It’s a weird
sensation to begin with, almost an unbalanced feeling, like I could
fall off it at any minute.

It feels good
to clear my head, just focus on my steps and my breathing. Our
trainer kicks it up a notch and we’re lightly jogging. It’s feeling
quite good, the mental funk I was in after Drew’s class is clearing
and I’m actually smiling, I’m sweaty but smiling. I look over at
Chad and he hasn’t even broken a sweat; I’m so unfit. When the
trainer comes over and starts touching the buttons again, I come to
the conclusion that this is really just another torture activity.
They should have made me do this when they wanted me to talk. I’m
running now, my chest is burning and it feels like not enough air
is getting into my lungs.

It’s not long
before I have sweat dripping down my face and I can hear Chad
telling me to “keep it up, keep going, keep going.”

It figures he
is one of those fitness enthusiasts, you know, the kind of person
who thrives on exercise and gets really annoying and chipper when
they should be puffing and panting from exhaustion. I’m grateful
for Chad’s encouragement but embarrassed that he can tell I’m
struggling. How do I get off this thing? I think I’m going to throw
up.

Our trainer
just stands there watching, I look at him with what I can only
assume are the widest eyes he’s ever seen, they certainly feel like
they are popping out of head. “Just put your feet on either side of
the treadmill when you think you can’t go any further,” he says. I
immediately move my feet and he comes over and presses stop on the
machine. I’m out of breath and gasping for air. All I want to do is
lay down on the ground. I get off the machine and sit on the floor
with my head between my knees. The trainer hands me a cup of water
and it’s gone within two seconds flat. While he goes to fetch more
for me, I look up at Chad – he’s still running very casually but at
least I can see he has started to sweat now. I get more water and
Chad gets his machine sped up.

“We’re going to
need to work on your stamina,” the trainer says to me.
No
shit
. I would say this out loud, but I have already felt the
power of this man’s hand and I can almost feel my cheek burning in
memory. “Let’s see how strong you are then.”

“We’re not
done?” I say very breathlessly.

“Not even
close.”

***

After what felt
like an eternity of muscle workouts, leg pushes, bicep curls, and
all of the other things the trainer was telling me to do, I am sore
all over. In reality it was only about an hour and a half that he
had me train for. You would think all of that hard labour on the
farm would have made me somewhat fit, but apparently not.