The India Fan (49 page)

daresay the children would like something to eat,she said. hat about some broth some milk, bread and butter? What do you think, Drusilla?

I felt it was an indication of her emotion that she should ask my opinion.

hey will be having their luncheon soon,she said.

hen I think a little milk and perhaps a slice of bread and butter would be best.I turned to the children. ould you like that?I asked.

Louise said, es, please,and Alan nodded gravely.

ood,said Lady Harriet. t will be sent to your rooms. I shall show them to you myself. I have had the old nursery made ready. And, later, Drusilla, I will have a talk with you. You are in the room next to the night nursery for the time being. Later we shall have a nanny but perhaps just at first

I said I thought that was an excellent arrangement.

We went up the stairs to the old nursery and on the way up Lady Harriet despatched one of the servants for the refreshments.

The rooms were light and airy. I remembered seeing them in the old days when I had come to play with Lavinia. Then I was seeing her again, just as I had that last time, and a terrible sense of doom descended on me. Here in these rooms Fabian had held autocratic sway over, so it was said, even his mother. He had been the pampered one whose slightest whim was to be indulged, even when it meant taking a child from her family.

There would be so many memories here, and in that moment I felt that I wanted to go right away, for I could never be anything but an outsider in this house the rector daughter, not quite good enough to mingle with Framling society except when she could be of some use to it.

will leave you to settle in,said Lady Harriet.

I had the feeling that she wanted to get away, that she could not bear to be in this room where her dead daughter had lived and played as a child, as these grandchildren of hers would now do. Could she really be overcome by emotion? I was sure it was something she would never admit.

At last she had gone and I was alone with the children.

s she the Queen?asked Louise.

That was a strange day. I took the children round the house and the garden. They thought it was all wonderful. We met some of the servants, who could not hide their pleasure at the prospect of having children in the house.

I thought: They will be happy here in time. They clung to me with a little more intensity than before, which told me that they were a little uneasy about the change in their lives; and they were certainly in awe of their formidable grandmother.

My food was sent up on a tray.

Lady Harriet had intimated that she wished to talk to me that evening and I was invited to her sitting room after she had had her dinner.

it down, Drusilla,she said. here is so much I wish to say to you. I know you have endured a great deal. Sir Fabian has told me how you looked after the children and kept them safely during that dreadful time, for which we are both extremely grateful to you. Sir Fabian says you are to stay with the children, at least until his return, which he hopes will not be very long. He believes there will be changes in India because of this awful mutiny. Louise and Alan are now out of danger, but there is that other child. I know about that and your part in it. It was very unfortunate, but we will not dwell on that. I have had the whole story from my son and I have been to see those people who have the child. That dreadful place where they are living! I sent for them to come here, but they rudely ignored my request and I went to them. What a pity they took the child.

must tell you, Lady Harriet, that they were wonderful to us. I don know what we would have done without them.

am not blaming you, Drusilla. Your part in the affair was commendable. That nursemaid of yours she is a forthright woman.I fancied she conceded a grudging admiration for one not unlike herself. suppose what they did at the time was admirable. But we have now to think of the child. However unfortunate her birth, she is my granddaughter and she must be brought up here at Framling.

ady Harriet, they have cared for her since she was a baby. They love her as they would their own. They will never let her go.

e shall have to see about that,said Lady Harriet firmly. ir Fabian thinks she should be here with her half-sister and -brother.

know they will never give her up.

he is a Framling and I am her grandmother. I have my rights.

t would not be good for the child to take her away immediately.

e shall in time make them see sense.

ut, Lady Harriet, sense to you might not be sense to them.

She looked at me in surprise that I could make such a suggestion. I did not flinch. I had made up my mind, as I had with Lavinia, that she should not dominate me. If they objected to my behaviour, I should simply have to make them understand that I was here only because I did not want to leave the children. I was more useful to Lady Harriet at this time than she was to me, and that gave me an advantage. My status was not that of an ordinary nursery governess.

e shall see,she said ominously. Then she added, want you to go along and see these people.

intend to. Polly is very dear to me, and so are her sister and Fleur.

hen I should like you to go as soon as possible.

t is what I intend.

She nodded. xplain to them the advantages the child would have here. In spite of her birth she is still my grandchild. I think they should be made to understand what that means.

think they will want to do what is best for the child.

h. Then you can make them see good sense.

am not sure what their reaction will be, Lady Harriet.

have confidence in you, Drusilla.She bestowed a smile on me reward in advance for bringing her ill-begotten grandchild back to the flock, I thought. But it was not going to be as easy as that. I knew Polly and I knew Eff. They would be as resolute as Lady Harriet herself. ell,she went on, ow that Louise and Alan are here, their future is assured.

hat of their father?I asked. hen he returns he may have plans for them.

h no.She laughed. e will do nothing. He will see that they are better with me.

s there news ?

e have had very little. He was in Lucknow with that nanny and her husband.She sniffed to show distaste. hey were all safe. We did hear that. But, of course, those dreadful things are still going on. Those wicked peopleo murder those who have done so much for them. English men, women and little children murdered by natives! They will get their just deserts, never fear.

I said, am glad to hear they are safe.

Lady Harriet nodded. ell, Drusilla, it has been a long day for you and for me. I will say good night now. The children are sleeping, I suppose.

h, yes, they are very tired.

have no doubt of that. I am sorry to impose the duties of nursery maid upon you. But they are used to you and it is best for the time being. I think too many changes would not be good for them at the moment. But I have a good nanny in mind.

certainly think that for the time being they are best with me. I have looked after them throughout the journey and before. They very much miss their Indian nurse.

A look of disapproval crossed her face. ell, we shall have a good English nanny and that will be an end to all that. Good night, Drusilla.

ood night, Lady Harriet.

How strange it was to be in this house once more to be actually living under its roof!

I went to my room. The sheets seemed very clean and cold, and the room airy and a little austere. There were too many memories beyond the gardens the green, the old church and the rectory the scenes of my childhood.

I thought of my father. I could see him, walking from the rectory to the church, his prayer book under his arm, his fine hair blowing untidily in the wind his thoughts far away in ancient Greece, most likely.

So much had happened since I left.

I did not feel tired, and yet as soon as I lay between those cool, clean sheets I fell into a deep sleep, so exhausted was I both physically and emotionally.

The next day I spent with the children. I took them for a walk through the old churchyard. I saw Colin Brady and his wife. There was a young baby now.

Ellen Brady, the doctor daughter, now Colin wife, insisted that I come into the rectory, where she gave me a glass of her elderberry wine. Colin came and joined us. The children sat quietly by.

I thought that / might be sitting there by the tray dispensing glasses of my elderberry wine to visitors. No. I would never have settled for that, although I had no doubt that Lady Harriet still considered it foolish of me not to have done so.

e thought of you when we heard the news, didn we, Ellen?said Colin.

Ellen said they had.

ll those terrible things. How could they? It must have been really frightening.

The children had been taken by the maid to look at the garden, so they could speak freely by this time.

nd Miss Lavinia the Countess. What a terrible thing to die like that and so young

I agreed, thinking: You have no idea how she died. You could never have imagined it.

When I went into the village people came to speak to me. Shopkeepers came out of their shops as I passed.

h, I glad to see you back, Miss Drusilla. It must have been terrible. All those awful things

They were interested in the children.

t will be nice to have little ones at Framling. Lady Harriet will be pleased.

There was no doubt that she was. She mourned Lavinia, I knew. It seemed outrageous to her that natives should attack the English, but that they should murder her daughter was even more outrageous. Perhaps I had never really understood her. One thing she did care for was childrennd now her grandchildren. I knew there was going to be a great battle for Fleur.

I thought about that a good deal, and as soon as I was assured that the children were sufficiently settled to do without me for a few days, I decided to go to see Polly. So I wrote to her.

Lady Harriet visited the nursery. I encouraged the children to talk to her, but I noticed they kept close to me when she was around.

She did not force herself upon them. That would not be Lady Harriet way. But I could see how pleased she was when Louise addressed her directly. Alan averted his eyes when she was near and refrained from jumping.

he children seem to be very quiet,she said to me once when they had gone to bed.

hey have to get used to their surroundings,I told her. hey have lived through so many changes. But they will settle in time.

hey shall be taught to ride.

I said I thought that an excellent idea.

shall delay getting the nanny just for a little while yet.

I told her I thought that was a good idea. et them get accustomed to new faces for a while.

She nodded with approval.

he news is getting better,she said. eneral Roberts is working wonders. He is showing those dreadful people who are the masters, and Sir John Lawrence, they seem to think, deserves great praise for the part he has played. It seems that soon things will be more or less normal out there as normal as they can be in such a place. It may well be that we shall have Sir Fabian and the children father home sooner than I had hoped.

hat will be a great relief for you, Lady Harriet.

ndeed yes. Then, of course, we shall have wedding bells. Lady Geraldine has waited long enough.

I did not want to look at her. I thought I might betray something.

here will be no delay,she went on, ot once Sir Fabian is home. It is the last thing he would want.She smiled indulgently. e is rather impatient, I afraid. He always has been. When he wants something he wants it at once. So I am sure there will be a wedding soon.

It seemed so reasonable now. Everything was different at home. When we were in India, travelling from Delhi to Bombay, I had perhaps dreamed impossible dreams.

Here, I could realize how foolish I had been.

I had had a rapturously loving reply from Polly.

just singing all over the place. Eff says I driving her mad. It just that I so happy youe safe and sound and back home. Wel be waiting, so come just as soon as you can.

The papers heralded the good news. The Mutiny was fast coming to an end and black headlines in the papers proclaimed victory. General Roberts and Sir John Lawrence were the heroes. There was a great deal written about the loyal Sikhs and the treacherous sepoys. But all would be well. The wicked had been shown the evil of their ways and the just were triumphant.

Old men sat by the pond and discussed the relief of Lucknow. Names like Bundelkhand and Jhansi were tossed about with abandon. They had all defeated the villainous Nana Sahib; they had triumphed over Tantia Topee. They had put the mutineers where they belonged.

There was peace in the air. The spring was with us; the faint hum of insects mingled with the sound of clipping shears as the garden hedges were cut.

This was home. And I set out to see Polly.

I told the children that I would be away only for a few days. They had taken a great fancy to Molly, one of the parlourmaids, and I knew they would be happy with her. She would take them down to the drawing room in the afternoons to spend an hour with Grandmama. This had become a ritual which they accepted, and they were indeed becoming less in awe of her. I felt I could leave them safely and in any case I did feel it was necessary for me to hear what Polly had to tell me.

She was waiting for me at the station. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw me and for a few moments we clung together.

Then she became practical. ff stayed at home. Shel have the kettle boiling by the time we get back. My goodness, am I glad to see you! Let have a look at you. Not bad. Ie been that worried you out there in all that. Enough to make your hair curl. When we heard you was back you should have seen us Eff and Fleur Oh, she remembers you all right. To tell the truth, sometimes Eff a bit jealous. She is like that. But it good to see you. Ie told you, Ie been singing all over the place ever since nearly driven Eff off her rocker. Well, here you are.

We said little in the cab going to the house. And there it was, so dear and familiar.