The India Fan (45 page)

Salar evidently felt relieved, for he had made his gratitude known to me.

It was a few days later when I heard that incendiary fires were springing up all over Meerut and that mutiny had broken out there.

The tension in the household increased. The Great Khansamah had grown in importance over the past weeks. He strutted about the house as though he were indeed master of us all. I was very much afraid of what he might do.

I talked to Lavinia about it.

I said, avinia, aren you afraid?

hat of?

re you completely oblivious to what is going on around you?

h, all this talk, you mean? There always talk.

ou know that Fabian and Dougal are worried about us?

here is no need to. Major Cummings is here to protect us. He says he will make sure that I am all right.

hat about the children?

hey are all right. They are only children. They know nothing of all this whispering. Besides, youl look after them and Ayah, of course.

avinia, you don seem to have an inkling of what is going on. This is an explosive situation.

tell you we shall be all right. Khansamah will make sure of that.

e is against us.

e not against me. We understand each other besides, he one of my great admirers.

marvel at you, Lavinia.

ll right. Marvel away. It is what I expect.

I knew it was no use trying to impress on her the gravity of the situation.

It was only a day or so later when, in the evening, the ayah came to my room.

She said, e must go go now. I will take the children to the gazebo. Come there as quick as you can. I take children now.

I could see that she was aware of some impending danger and that it was very close. The urgency of her voice convinced me that I must obey at once without question.

will go and bring the Countess.

uick. No time to lose.

he children are in bed.

o matter. I tell them new game. I keep them quiet. We will bring them. Must be quick. No time.

hy ?

ot now. Just come. I tell

I ran to Lavinia room. Fortunately she was alone. She was seated by the mirror, combing her hair.

I said, avinia. We have to go at once.

here?

own to the gazebo.

hat for?

ook. There is no time to explain. I don know myself yet. Just come. I know it is important. The children will be there.

ut whatever for?

on argue. Come.

not dressed.

ever mind.

won be ordered like this.

avinia. Ayah will be frantic. Promise me youl come at once. And come quickly. Don let anyone know where you are going.

eally, Drusilla.

ook, you must have some idea of the danger wee in.She did look slightly alarmed. Even she must have been aware of the changing atmosphere.

She said, ll right Il come.

l go on ahead. I must tell Ayah. Shel be wondering why I so long. Don forget. Don tell anyone not anyone where you are going, and try not to let anyone see you. It very important.

I went down by means of a back staircase. I reached the garden without seeing anyone, and sped across the grass to the gazebo.

Ayah was there with the children. I could see the panic in her eyes.

e must go quick ,she whispered. t is dangerous to wait.

Louise said, t a new game, Drusilla. It is hide and seek, isn it, Ayah?

es, yes we now hide and seek. Come.

must wait for the Countess,I said.

o wait.

he will come down here and not know what to do.

e must take the children now. You come, too.

I said, have to wait.

e cannot. No wait.

here are you going?

o my brother house.

o Salar!

She nodded.

his what he say. When time come you must be herewith Missie with children Time come. We must go.

ake the children. I will bring the Countess there. I have told her I will wait for her here. I must stay for her.

The ayah shook her head. o. Bad. Bad not good.

She had wrapped the children in cloaks so that I could hardly see them. She put the box she had brought to the gazebo into my hands. ou wear,she said. over head. You look Indian woman a little then. Come. Do not wait.

I put on the sari and the shawl over my head.

rusilla, you do look funny,said Louise.

ow we go. I take children. You come to brother. We want do this for you.

s soon as the Countess arrives I will bring her. She can be long. I think she is realizing the danger at last.

ell her cover head. Wear shawl

I was dismayed, but I knew I must deal with such problems when they came.

Taking Alan hand and commanding Louise to keep close, Ayah hurried out of the gazebo.

The stillness was broken only by the sound of insects, with which I had now become familiar. I could hear the beating of my own heart. I was aware the ayah was better informed of danger than I could be and I could see that it had become more acute.

I felt alone and helpless. As soon as I had let the children go I believed I should have gone with them. They were in my charge, but how could I have left Lavinia? The folly of Lavinia had once before had a great effect on my life. I now believed that it was about to do so again.

If only she had come with me at once. It might well be that there was no need for the flight from the house, but Ayah believed so. I went to the door of the arbour and looked towards the house. And then suddenly I heard shouting. I saw dark figures at the windows. It seemed that the entire household was invading the upper rooms.

My heart was thundering, my throat parched. I kept whispering, avinia Lavinia, where are you? Why don you come?

There was nothing I wanted so much as to see her stealthily creeping across the grass to the gazebo.

But she did not come.

Instinctively I knew that I should go, that I should find my way to the house with the mango tree. I knew my way there. I had passed it many times.

Go! Go! said my common sense. But I could not go without Lavinia.

What if she came to the gazebo and found me gone? Where would she go? What would she do? She did not know that there would be sanctuary in that house.

I must wait for Lavinia.

I did not know how long I waited. I could see Lavinia window from where I was. Some of the lamps had been lighted. And as I watched I saw the Khansamah at her window. So he was in her room! He was gone in a second and I wondered if I had been mistaken.

I stood there shivering. I did not know what to do. I prayed for guidance.

Go go now, said the voice within me. But I could not go while Lavinia was in the house.

It must have been an hour later. The night was hot, but I was shivering. I heard the far-off sound of singing drunken singing. It was coming from the lower part of the house.

I hesitated. Then I ventured across the grass. I knew it was folly. Something dreadful had happened in the house. I should run from it as quickly as I could. I should find my way to Salar house, where Ayah and the children would be waiting for me.

But still I could not do it.

avinia,I heard myself whispering. here are you? Why don you come?

The waiting was unbearable. I could not endure it. I knew I had to go into the house and find her.

It was folly, of course. The ayah had known that it was imperative for us to get away. She had saved us just in time. But how could I leave Lavinia there?

I told myself that my duty lay with the children. They would need me now. But they were safe with the ayah. If she had reached her brother house they would be there waiting for me now.

I knew what I had to do. I had to find Lavinia. I could not leave without her. She should have come with me, of course; she was foolish. She always had been foolish. But still I was fond of her. It seemed to me that my life was somehow bound up in hers and I could not desert her now.

I was outside the house. I stood leaning against the wall, listening. The sounds of revelry were coming from the servantsquarters. I pictured the Khansamah there. But where was Lavinia?

She had said she would come. What was she waiting for?

The door was open. I stepped into the hall. I could hear the shouts and laughter more distinctly now. They were very merry the merriment of intoxication, I was sure.

Silently, fearing the Khansamah would appear at any moment, I crept up the stairs. Fortunately that part of the house seemed to be deserted.

The door of Lavinia room was wide open. I crept along the corridor and paused there.

The sight that met my eyes was one that will be forever imprinted on my mind. Disorder and horror. The walls of the room were splashed with blood. And there, spreadeagled across the bed, was Lavinia nude body. Something about its posture was obscene, and I knew it had been placed deliberately so. Her eyes were wide and staring with horror. Her glorious hair was matted with blood, and spread out at her feet was the blood-spattered peacock-feather fan. I knew then that the Khansamah had done this.

I felt sick and faint, for I saw that her throat had been cut.

Lavinia was dead. That beauty which had been her pride, which had obsessed her and made her what she was, had in the end destroyed her.

Instinctively I knew that the Khansamah had taken his revenge in his own way, because she had encouraged him and then rejected him. She had committed the great crime in his eyes of insulting his dignity. He had been waiting to avenge his lost prestige; the gift of the peacock-feather fan had been a warning.

For some moments I could see nothing but the horror of this.

Lavinia Lavinia why did you not come? Why did you hesitate? You have destroyed yourself.

How can I tell the children? I asked myself, as if that were the most important thing in the world.

The children! I must get back to them. I should be looking after them. I would have to plan for them as I had planned for Fleur.

I must get out of this house of death immediately. If I were discovered my fate would be that of Lavinia. I was needed. I must look after the children.

I turned away from that scene of horror. I crept down the stairs. Luck was with me, for no one appeared. I was out through the open door, speeding across the grass.

The night air sobered me. I went inside the gazebo and allowed myself a few seconds to regain my breath. I must get to the children. To do so I had to pass through the streets. I could guess what was happening in every house where Europeans were living. The Mutiny had started in earnest. What we had feared for all these weeks had erupted, and it was far worse than anything I had imagined.

There were few people in the streets. I was glad of the shawl and the sari. Ayah had been wise to provide them. I stooped a little, for I was tall and my height might betray me.

That journey through the streets seemed to take a long time. I saw several bloodied bodies lying in the roads. They were all Europeans. I guessed what was happening and as I turned each corner I expected to come face to face with someone who would recognize me as belonging to the race they hated.

My good fortune was great that night. I realized how great later.

I reached the house.

Ayah embraced me when she saw me.

have been worried.

yah,I stammered. heye killed her. She dead.

She nodded. he should have come.

h yes yes She wouldn believe it. It was awful. Blood blood all over the room.

emember the children,she said.

here are they?

sleep now. You have been long.

yah what are we going to do?

She said resignedly, e wait. We see. You rest now. Safe for a while. My brother, he happy. He pay debt.

She took me into the workshop. Carved wooden objects were scattered about the place. There was a smell of wood in the air. I noticed a window that looked out onto a courtyard.

ll right,she said. ut there courtyard. Salar courtyard. No one see.

She took me into a small room which led from the workroom. There was no window in this room. The children lay on a pallet on the floor, fast asleep. There was another pallet beside them.

ou here,said the ayah, pointing to it. ou rest now. You feel very bad.

Feel bad? Indeed I did. I was desperately trying to shut out of my mind that scene, which I knew I would never be able to forget.

I lay on the pallet. I was seeing it all again. That once pleasant room transformed into a scene from some hellish horror something I could never have imagined. Blood blood everywhere, and Lavinia body placed across the bed, her once-flaunted beauty degraded and gone forever.

I lay there thinking of the first time we had met, of going away to school Lavinia, who had been so much a part of my life almost always

And now no more.

What could I have done to save her? I should have impressed on her more urgently the need to go. I should have made her understand the danger. But who could make Lavinia do what she did not want to?

My face was wet. I was weeping. It helped a little. It soothed me somehow.

Oh, Lavinia Lavinia dead.

One of the children stirred in sleep as though to remind me that it was my duty to calm myself, not to give way to grief, to cherish them, to make them as my own.

I often wondered how the woodcarver Salar managed to keep us hidden in his house for all those weeks. It was an amazing feat.

The house was not big. He lived alone, for he was unmarried. He carved his wooden objects and took them along to the shops that bought them from him. He had always lived a lonely life, so this was a help.

I learned a little about him from Ayah, who told me that his niece Roshanara had meant a great deal to him. He loved the girl more than he had ever loved anyone else and he would never forget that we had saved her life. One day he would visit her; perhaps he would live close to her; and he owed that to us. He was happy now, for he was paying his debt more than paying it. Three lives for one. He was pleased about that. But he had not yet saved us. Only the first part of the operation had been carried out. The debt would not be wiped out until we could walk freely in the streets again.