The Importance of Being a Bachelor (27 page)

‘No,’ she replied. ‘It’s not. It’s not at all. I’ve decided I’m going to divorce your father.’

‘But why? I don’t get it, Mum. Whatever it is it can’t be all that bad, surely?’

‘Well it is to me.’

‘What has he done? You can’t expect to take things this far and not tell us.’

‘He had an affair.’

‘Dad? An affair? Are you sure? When exactly?’

‘Forty years ago.’

Part 3

‘I don’t understand.’

It was one in the morning as Adam pulled up in front of Steph’s house and switched off the car engine after the 117-mile journey from Stratford-upon-Avon to Manchester.

‘Are you sure you won’t stay over at mine?’ said Steph. ‘You wouldn’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I just want to be with you, that’s all.’

Adam shook his head. ‘I’m fine, honest,’ he replied, half wondering if she was aware that this was the beginning of the end for them. ‘I just want to get some sleep.’

He climbed out of the car and took Steph’s luggage out ready to take it up to the house but she made him put it down so that she could put her arms round him.

‘If you won’t stay with me then at least promise that you’ll call me first thing in the morning. I won’t pry or anything. I just want to know that you’re OK.’

‘Of course,’ nodded Adam. ‘First thing in the morning.’

They kissed, a long, slow kiss, and then picking up her bags Steph made her way to her front door. Adam watched as she opened her door and then closed it behind her. Taking one last look at her house as she switched on her bedroom light he drove away into the night.

The past few hours had been some of the toughest in his entire life. With his mum in tears at the end of the phone he had listened to the story of his father’s affair that had shocked him to his very foundations.

According to his mum, before she and Dad got married they had been friends with another young courting couple from the area called Janet and Charlie. At some point in the proceedings his dad’s friend Charlie had broken his engagement with Janet and run off to a new job and a new life in Aberdeen, leaving Mum and Dad back in Manchester to sweep up the pieces. His mum and dad had ended up spending a lot of their spare time comforting Janet which ultimately led to the inevitable back at Dad’s lodgings off Cheetham Hill Road. It was six months before Adam’s parents’ wedding and as the affair continued Janet eventually confessed to Adam’s dad that she was in love with him and pleaded with him to leave his fiancée. After various threats to tell Adam’s mum (and even at one point to take her own life) Janet finally said she was leaving Manchester for good and that she would never see Dad again, which was exactly what happened.

‘I don’t understand,’ Adam had said. ‘If this all happened forty years ago why has it come out now?’

‘It was the day that Luke and Cassie announced their engagement,’ his mum revealed. ‘Do you remember while Luke was helping me make the tea for everyone, Cassie, I think it must have been, asked your dad to get the wedding album out and he ended up telling you all the story of how Janet hadn’t turned up for the wedding and how your Aunt Rose had had to step in as maid-of-honour at the last minute?’

Adam struggled to recall Dad getting out the wedding album let alone his story about Mum’s maid-of-honour but with some prompting it had come back to him. ‘But I still don’t understand, Mum, why would you make a connection all these years later about something that happened forty years ago?’

‘Because of the expression on his face as Cassie retold the story when Luke and I walked in the room,’ she had explained. ‘Your dad just looked guilty, son; he looked as guilty as sin. But it was only when I finally plucked up the courage to ask him all those weeks later that I knew for sure. Before he’d even answered my question I could see from his look of relief that he just couldn’t lie to me about this one thing any more.’

His mum tearfully explained how even though it would hurt her as much as it would hurt his father she had come to the conclusion that getting a divorce was the only option. No matter which way she looked at the situation and no matter how hard she tried to forgive him and move on, she just couldn’t do it.

‘Believe me, Adam, there’s no one who wanted to save this marriage more than me but I can’t get over the fact that he lied to me, and not just once or twice but every day for forty years. I love him dearly, and I always will, but this is something I can’t bring myself to forgive.’

Adam ended up staying on the phone for a good half-hour listening to his mum say pretty much the same thing over and over again, but then she told him that she was going to stay with Aunt Rose for a few days and asked if he would tell his brothers about the divorce because she didn’t have the strength to do it herself. All Adam wanted to do was head back into the hotel room where Steph was waiting for him and tell her everything. That was what his heart was telling him even though the thought of being this open and honest about something so painful was uncharted territory for him. But the moment he saw the look of concern on Steph’s face, the moment he realised the real reason he had spent so long in pursuit of the wrong kind of women, was the moment that he couldn’t follow through with his actions. In Steph, who had in their short time together proved herself the perfect confidante, he saw his worst nightmare writ large. If he told her how he was feeling, if he poured his heart out to her, if he pulled down his final barricade and let her inside the one place that he knew to be safe then he would never be able to hide anything from her ever again. Not a single thought, not a single feeling; effectively she would have the keys to his consciousness and would be free to come and go just as she pleased. The thought of this terrified Adam. It terrified him to his very core. Not because of what she might do with her access but rather with the newness of it all. This wasn’t a game whose rules he understood and right now he didn’t care to learn.

So instead of being open and honest Adam chose to disguise his upset as best he could. Refusing to go into the details he said only, ‘Some more stuff with my parents has kicked off and I need to go.’ He suggested that Steph shouldn’t let him ruin her weekend and should stay and get a lift back to Manchester with one of her friends. But Steph refused on the grounds that ‘a night on my own in a beautiful hotel room without you would be a nightmare,’ so she too had packed her bags and they had made their way to the car.

For the two-hour journey back up to Manchester Adam barely said a word. And even though his actions were amongst the biggest clichés in the male behavioural lexicon this awareness didn’t help him in the slightest. It didn’t help to know that he was ‘emotionally withdrawing’ from Steph. All that mattered was that the more distance he put between himself and Steph the more secure he felt. And nothing, not Steph, not his conscience, not even love itself was going to get in the way of his mission to be alone.

Reaching home Adam kicked off his shoes, dumped his bags in the hallway and was about to go upstairs when his phone vibrated. A message from Steph: ‘I love you.’ He switched off his phone and without thought or reflection made his way up to his bedroom, closed the curtains, crawled under the duvet and finally allowed himself to be consumed by exhaustion.

‘Because it wasn’t just a small tiff.’

It was late morning. Adam had showered and dressed and was heading downstairs for breakfast when his phone rang. His heart immediately began to race. It would be Steph checking to see how he was. If he spoke to her she would know that something other than this thing with his parents was up. She would ask him what was the matter and he would have to stonewall her which would end in a row and then at the height of all the yelling and the accusations and counter-accusations he would finally tell her and it would be all over. Adam shuddered at the thought of it. Steph deserved better than that. Steeling himself not to answer the call he glanced at the screen and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was Russell, just his stupid, impetuous, kid brother Russell.

Adam’s mind suddenly flipped back to the events of the previous night and specifically his promise to tell his brothers everything that had happened. It was just after midday and he had yet to say a word to either of them about the events of the previous night. He was reluctant to make the calls for a whole host of reasons but the main one was that once he told his brothers the news they would be looking to him for leadership and he didn’t have any to offer.

Adam answered the call. ‘All right you? What’s up?’

‘Nothing much. I’ve just dropped in at Mum’s and she’s not in. Just wondered if you knew if she’d gone to church early or whatever.’

‘She’s not there. She’s gone to Aunt Rose’s for a couple of days.’

‘Really? She didn’t mention that when I last saw her and you know what she’s like about making plans weeks in advance. Is everything OK with Aunt Rose?’

‘Yeah,’ replied Adam. ‘It’s just that . . .’

‘What?’

‘Look . . . I don’t mean to be melodramatic but what are you doing now?’

‘Nothing much.’

‘Do you fancy meeting up? How about North Star in twenty minutes? I’ll buy you breakfast.’

There was a long pause that Adam didn’t quite understand. Normally Russell would bite his hand off at the prospect of free food. ‘Just the two of us?’

‘Yeah,’ replied Adam, attempting to keep his tone casual as he wondered why Russell was so desperate to avoid the company of Luke. ‘Just the two of us.’

Entering the café already bustling with breakfasting couples Adam spotted Russell at the window table reading a newspaper. He greeted him with a back-slappy hug and insisted that they order breakfast straight away. That done, and a fresh filter coffee in his hand, Adam returned to the table where Russell was now observing him with a curious eye.

‘Where’s Luke then?’ asked Russell.

Adam shrugged. Perhaps he’d been making two and two make five by concluding that Russell’s earlier question about Luke was related to his feelings about Cassie. ‘I dunno, I haven’t spoken to him in a while. Why?’

‘Just wondering how he was. I know this Cassie thing must be getting him down and having Dad living with him can’t be easy.’

Adam smiled. ‘Maybe you should take your turn. I’m sure Luke could do with a break.’

Russell looked horrified. ‘I can’t. Really I can’t,’ he spluttered. ‘Is that what this is all about? Me taking on Dad? You’ve got to be joking. I live in a flat!’

‘What kind of idiot are you?’ said Adam impatiently. ‘Of course this isn’t about Dad moving in with you.’

‘So, what then?’

‘Mum and Dad . . .’ Adam decided there was no point in sugar-coating this. ‘Are getting divorced.’

‘Divorced? But why? Why are they getting divorced over a small tiff?’

‘Because it wasn’t just a small tiff.’ Adam told him the whole story.

Russell took the news about their parents very badly. There was no doubt in Adam’s mind about that. Russell’s first response was to demand that Adam should come up with a plan. ‘So what are we going to do?’ he asked. ‘Do we try and get them back talking again? I know it didn’t work last time but maybe it can this time.’ This was exactly what Adam had been dreading. He didn’t know what to do or say and it was only after an extended period of silence that Russell realised there
was
no plan. ‘We’ve just got to accept that this is the way it is,’ said Adam eventually. ‘Mum’s made her decision.’

Adam stayed for another half an hour before suggesting that Russell should come with him to tell Luke. At the mention of Luke’s name Russell’s mood had changed and he was back on edge as he had been at the beginning of their conversation. Russell conjured a whole horde of reasons why he couldn’t come over to Luke’s but Adam didn’t believe one of them. This was definitely about Cassie and more than likely Russell had done something – Adam didn’t want to guess what exactly – really stupid. Resigned to telling Luke alone he hugged his kid brother goodbye and mentally prepared himself to take on the role of bearer of bad news.

‘I knew something was up,’ was Luke’s immediate response. ‘In fact I was going to call you last night myself as Dad was acting so weird but I kept telling myself that I was overreacting. Mum called here about nine and asked to speak to Dad, which threw me completely. When the call was over, Dad looked on the verge of tears and I couldn’t get a word out of him. All he’s done since is sit in his room. He’s not even been down for something to eat. I’ve never seen him like it. He really loves her, you only have to look at him to see that.’ Luke shook his head in disbelief.

‘I know it makes no sense but I think her mind’s made up. The way she sees it is that the only solution is to move on and put the past behind her.’

‘How’s Russell taken it? How come he isn’t here?’

‘I’m guessing he wanted to be by himself or something.’

‘So he took it badly?’

Adam nodded. ‘Still, he took it better than I thought.’

‘I suppose he’s not that snotty little kid who always wanted in on our games any more.’

‘Yeah, I think at twenty-nine our baby brother has finally grown up.’

Venturing upstairs Adam knocked on his dad’s door and let himself in. His dad, dressed for the day, was sitting on the edge of the bed staring out of the window and didn’t even turn round as he entered the room.