Read The Importance of Being a Bachelor Online
Authors: Mike Gayle
Tags: #Hewer Text UK Ltd http://www.hewertext.com
‘Didn’t mean to disturb you.’
Luke was pleased with himself. With a week of living with his father under his belt without a single argument between them he was now officially a saint. The key to his achievement was simple: shutting up in the face of provocation and making every effort to accommodate his father. When on their first Sunday as housemates Dad had woken him from a deep sleep by bringing in a tray containing a full English breakfast Luke thanked him profusely and ate it without question. When the following Monday evening he had returned home from work to discover that his father had pruned back the plum tree in the garden to such an extent that it looked like a very tall twig stuck in the mud Luke thanked him for his efforts and listened keenly to his somewhat radical theories on plum-tree maintenance. And when a few days after that Luke had decided to work from home in order to make some kind of headway through the backlog of admin only to have his father knock on his study door every hour on the hour asking him if he wanted tea/coffee/breakfast/lunch/dinner Luke didn’t lose his temper. Instead he resigned himself to the fact that he was never going to get anything done for the rest of the day, called it quits at two p.m. and spent the rest of the afternoon with Dad tackling the nightmare of disorganisation and junk that was his garage.
During this time, although they discussed in a general fashion everything from the latest evolution of Russell’s love life through to City’s prospects in the premiership, they had yet to a say a single word about Dad’s relationship with Mum or his own relationship with Cassie. Of course part of Luke was happy that this was the case. Thanks to his divorce he knew how uncomfortable such conversations could be when undertaken by two people as bad at communicating as he and his father. But at the same time, the longer these subjects went undiscussed the more prominent they became in his own mind and if he didn’t do something about it soon, the subject would leap involuntarily from his lips as though he were suffering from a hitherto-undiscovered form of Tourette’s Syndrome. With this in mind, pulling back his bedroom curtains and peering at the sun outside Luke made up his mind that today was going to be the day. He would make himself a coffee and then tackle the task at hand.
He was about to make his way downstairs when there was a knock on the door and Dad entered holding a plate with sausages, bacon, eggs and tinned tomatoes on it in one hand and a mug of tea in the other.
‘Didn’t mean to disturb you. Just thought you might fancy a spot of breakfast. I’ll leave it down here, shall I?’ He gestured to the floor at the side of the bed.
‘Cheers, Dad.’
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘Fine, Dad. You?’
‘Not so bad. That spare bed of yours is a lot more comfortable than you might think to look at it. Did it cost much?’
‘I dunno, Dad. I can’t remember. I’ve had it ages.’
Dad nodded but Luke could see that he didn’t quite understand how his son could not know what price he might have paid for a major piece of furniture.
‘Your mum and I paid six hundred pounds knocked down from twelve hundred for our current bed in the House of Fraser post-Christmas sale eleven years ago. Best bed I’ve ever slept in.’
Luke was unsure if his dad was genuinely enthused by beds or had simply run out of things to say that wouldn’t result in a further widening of the space between them. Whether he had had his morning coffee or not, this was the ideal moment for him to talk to Dad.
‘Dad?’
‘Yes, son?’
There was a silence. Luke tried to frame the words.
‘Son? Did you want to ask something?’
Luke shook his head. He decided to go with a bit of subterfuge to cover his tracks. ‘I’m going to go out in a bit, do you want anything?’
‘No, son.’
‘Right then, I’ll scarf this lot down and see you later, OK?’
Dad nodded. He was about to close the door behind him when he stopped.
‘Luke? Don’t you think it’s time we talked about what’s happening with you and Cassie?’
Luke let out a huge sigh of relief. ‘Do you know what, Dad? I think you’re absolutely right.’
Deciding that a change of venue was in order Luke suggested they go to a nearby pub but his father being his father offered a counter-suggestion: ‘Why don’t we go to Adam’s bar? At least that way we’d be keeping the money in the family.’
Luke agreed and so half an hour later they entered BlueBar, found themselves a seat amongst the small scattering of weekend couples reading the papers and tucking into BlueBar’s famous all-day English breakfast and got themselves a drink.
‘Don’t you think it’s funny that Adam owns all this?’ asked Dad as he took a sip of his half-pint of Guinness.
‘I suppose so,’ replied Luke. ‘When was the last time you were here?’
‘I think it was for Russell’s thirtieth which has got to be a good couple of years ago. How old is Russell now? I always forget!’
‘I have no idea. Thirty-two? Thirty-three? It’s easy to lose count after a while.’
The two men fell into what Luke assumed was a comfortable silence until he looked over at his father’s face to see that he seemed to be struggling with something.
‘Are you OK, Dad?’
‘I was just thinking about your . . . you know . . . situation and well . . . you do know that you can’t just let Cassie walk away like this, don’t you?’
‘There’s nothing I can do, Dad. She wants kids and I don’t: there just isn’t any room for compromise.’
‘But that’s not quite true, is it?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘I mean it’s not quite true that you don’t want any more children. I know you, Luke, there’s nothing more in the world that you’d like than to start a family with Cassie.’
‘You don’t seem to be getting what I’m trying to say, Dad. I can’t move on without Megan in my life. I can’t do it.’
‘Then you’ve got to get Megan back in your life.’
‘Don’t you think I’ve thought of that?’
‘I don’t know, have you?’
‘Of course I have but . . . but . . . it’s just too complicated . . . too much time has gone by.’
Dad shook his head. ‘Luke, just listen to me. I know you’re scared. I know that deciding not to see Megan was the hardest decision you ever made. And I know that you’re terrified of what she might think of you after such a long time. After all you’ve been through this is the last thing you want to do. But take it from someone who knows: sooner or later the past always catches up with you so you might as well deal with the consequences of your actions now rather than later, because you know what? If you do leave it until later with a girl as lovely as your Cassie there’s a strong chance she won’t be about for too long.’
‘I wouldn’t have called it a “ban” exactly so much as a veto . . .’
Russell was reaching for Angie’s hand as they crossed the main road on their way back from a night out with Angie’s friends. The evening had been a lot more successful than Russell had expected and he had been surprised to have so much in common with Angie’s friends’ boyfriends considering that at least two of them were accountants.
As Angie’s fingers intertwined with his own Russell wondered if this might be the right time to tell her about bumping into Cassie the other day. It didn’t feel right not telling her, especially as it had been a completely innocent conversation. Yet he was fearful about her response given the feelings that he’d once had for Cassie.
‘So what do you fancy doing at the weekend?’ asked Angie, oblivious of Russell’s inner turmoil. ‘Kate is apparently throwing some kind of surprise party to celebrate Jim’s new job and has asked if we can go but we don’t have to if you don’t want to.’
Russell didn’t reply.
‘Look, Russ,’ continued Angie. ‘There’s no need to get all funny about it. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.’
He came to his senses. ‘What do you mean, funny? I’m sorry, babe, I was a million miles away. I’ve no idea what you’re on about.’
She stopped and looked up at him. ‘What’s wrong with you? I feel like you’ve been somewhere else all night.’
‘It’s nothing really,’ began Russell. ‘It’s just that . . . well, it’s sort of weird but I heard today that Luke and Cassie have split up.’
‘They’ve split up? How? Why? I don’t understand. Didn’t they only just get engaged?’
Russell nodded. ‘It’s all to do with kids apparently. You know how I haven’t seen my niece in years all because of Luke’s bitch of an ex-wife? Well it turns out that because of all that Luke told Cassie he never wants to have kids.’
‘And Cassie does?’
He nodded. ‘Apparently it all came to a head when they got engaged and he wouldn’t budge and she wouldn’t budge and so it’s over.’
‘That’s so horrible,’ she said, putting her arms around him. ‘How’s Luke taking it?’
‘It wasn’t Luke who told me. It was Cassie.’
The expression on Angie’s face changed in an instant. Gone was the look of sympathy and concern and in its place was one of hurt and outrage.
‘You saw Cassie?’
Russell nodded.
‘So this isn’t about you being upset because of your brother, it’s you feeling guilty about seeing Cassie?’
‘Look, it’s not what you think,’ said Russell. ‘I was in town and I bumped into her, OK? I didn’t know that anything was wrong between her and Luke and we were chatting and then she just came out with it and started to get upset so I took her for a drink.’
‘You took her for a drink?’
‘Yeah, honestly it was nothing flash. Just a quick drink and a chat. She was upset, that’s all, and I was just trying to—’
‘Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Don’t you dare tell me that you were only trying to comfort her!’
‘Don’t say it like that, Ange. Don’t say it like I’ve done a bad thing here. I’ve not tried to keep it a secret so why are you having a go at me?’
‘Could that be because you were in love with her for about a billion years and spent all day every day fantasising about her?’ Angie jammed her hands deep into her coat pockets. ‘I bet you loved it, didn’t you? Sitting listening to her pouring out all her woes like you were the closest thing that she has in the world to a friend. I bet you lapped it up.’
‘Look, it wasn’t like that,’ pleaded Russell. ‘I was just being a mate, that’s all.’
‘And I’m supposed to feel better because you’ve said that?’ snorted Angie. ‘We used to be just mates, Russ, and look where we are now.’ Pushing him away from her with her fists Angie walked off leaving Russell standing motionless in the same spot. When she was about twenty or so yards distant she called out: ‘You must think I’m really stupid if you thought that I wouldn’t be bothered by this, Russ. And I’m not. I’m not stupid and I’m not going to stand for it, OK? I’m not!’
The following morning Russell awoke from a cold and uncomfortable night on the sofa to find Angie kneeling next to him with her laptop underneath her arm. She was still in her dressing gown and her morning breath smelled distinctly of fresh cigarettes, which was an old habit that she only ever relapsed into during times of extreme stress.
Setting down the laptop Angie kissed him gently on the forehead. ‘How did you sleep?’
‘Badly.’
‘If it’s any consolation I had a terrible night too.’
‘At least you were comfortable. I’d have been better off sleeping on razor blades than this stupid bloody sofa.’
‘Look, Russ, I’m sorry. I know I overreacted. It was my fault. I know you were just trying to do what’s right and I’m sorry if you feel I’ve let you down with my whole insanely jealous thing.’ She opened her laptop and showed him the screen. It was open on her Facebook page and after a few moments of puzzlement Russell noted that her most current update status read: ‘Angie is very sorry for being horrible to her boyfriend last night.’ ‘See? That’s how sorry I am. Now all the world knows how horrible I’ve been to you.’
He laughed. ‘I think that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.’
‘Good,’ smiled Angie. ‘Because I mean it.’
Later, after breakfast, Russell and Angie left the flat and made their way to the bus stop. As they walked past the crowds of mums taking their kids to school Russell noted that Angie, who was not a morning person at the best of times, was being unusually chirpy, full of humorous stories and anecdotes as though taking it upon herself to be court jester for the day. Relieved that she was so determined to get into his good books he felt they had put the whole incident behind them.
‘So that was our first row,’ said Russell as they stood waiting for the 187 bus to take them into town, ‘it’s always good to get these milestones out the way as quickly as possible.’
Angie grinned. ‘It would have been a lot better if it had been you who had gone off on one rather than me. I hadn’t intended to reveal my bonkers streak for at least another six weeks.’
‘Still, it’s all sorted now, isn’t it?’
She nodded. ‘Yeah, we’re all good. And anyway, it’s not like you’re going to see her again, is it. Just stay clear of Tesco and I’m sure we’ll be fine.’
‘What do you mean, not see her again? Are you banning me from talking to Cassie?’