The Immaculate Deception (45 page)

The brass doorknob turned. I would’ve held my breath in excitement at finally meeting my roommate face-to-face but I had to breathe, heavily even, to hold the dog back.

The darkened foyer seemed to dim further like a movie theater. In slow motion, the white six-panel colonial door squeaked open. A brick red glow emanated from behind. I couldn’t hold the dog back any longer. She leaped down the basement stairs, knocking me back on my rear end. I scrambled up, embarrassed.

And there he was. “What are you doing in my basement?”

He said, “I live here.”

I was so confused. “But-but you’re my dream man.
Hey, are you two timin’ me with Ashley?
”

He laughed. “No. That’s quite impossible.”

“
But Ashley Jones lives down there.”

He raised his eyebrows, his smile radiated into huge dimples. “Yeah, I do.”

“
You’re—Ashley Jones?”

“
Nice to make your acquaintance.” He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

“
Well, no wonder you wouldn’t reveal your first name. Hey, I was heartbroken when you died.”

He quietly said, “I know.”

“
You told me things would get much worse before they got better.”

He nodded affirmatively.

“
Well, they were horrible. Poor Mr. Meddlestein was poisoned. And my siblings decided to move in with me. They think I’m brain damaged—”

Ashley enveloped me into his arms. I felt his chest heave as he took in each breath. I listened to his heartbeat. He ran his fingers through my hair.

“
Sweetheart, the accident did cause a change in your brain function.”

Tears wended down my cheeks. “No!”

“
Shh…” He wiped them with his strong fingers. “I didn’t say it was a
bad
change.”

I pulled away enough to look up at him. “What are you saying?”

“
That your accident was a catalyst. I told you your spirit was erroneously dumped on Mercury, very, very close to the sun. But only you can make the move.”

“
Move to where? The psycho ward?” I plopped down on the oak floorboards, crying. Scooby Doo-ette leaped over the threshold and licked my teardrops. I scrunched up my face.

“
Well, at least I got a friend outa the deal.”

He said, “Norma Jean.”

“
You know this dog?”

“
She’s one of the good ones. You think you have it rough here? You ought to have endured her last life.”

I panicked. “You mean I’m dying and have to come back as a dog?”

Ashley squatted down and petted the Great Dane. “No. You don’t have to die now. And you don’t have to come back as a dog. I see you as more of a bird…”

“
Oh right, I’ll come back as a
turkey
.”

“
I’d love to stuff you.”

I fought off a weak smile.

“
No, sweetheart. I’m not the grim reaper. You are not dying today.
I’m your mate
. And I’m here to share in the joys of your mortal existence.”

“
You called the dog Norma Jean. Is she…”

The dog wagged her tail vigorously and slobbered all over my face and hands as she licked them. She knocked me onto my back. “I take that as a yes.”

My Mr. Ashley Jones laughed. “She has the soul of your biological mother. Norma Jean loves you very much. She sent me to protect you, to help you find out the truth. Now you know.”

I squinted at him. “Wow.” I hugged Norma Jean. This was all a bit much to take in. “You said that things were going to get worse. What else bad is going to happen to me?”

“
I think you’re over the hump. Things are beginning to get better, aren’t they?”

“
Dick and his wife are still on the loose.”

“
Nah, the wife turned herself in.”

“
Dick is the scary one.”

Ashley procured a white handkerchief from his inside coat pocket and stuffed it on my nose. “Blow.”

And blow I did. Thrice. I carefully folded the sticky cloth and handed it back. He crinkled his nose and wouldn’t touch it.

“
Oh I’m home. I can wash it for ya.”

“
That would be kind of you.”

Norma Jean curled up on the floor. Her big brown eyes looked warm and comforting. I smiled at her.

I asked, “So what did Fawn Fiddler cop out to?”

“
Conspiracy to launder money. Possession of counterfeit currency. Planting false evidence. False arrest. Abuse of her police power.”

“
Well, that clears up her part in all of this intrigue.”

He helped me to my feet. We walked into the kitchen and then through to the laundry room. I tossed the hanky into the front loading washing machine. “I might as well see if I have enough for a whole load. Do you have anything that needs washing?”

“
No, you’ll ruin my suit.”

“
Yeah, I guess so.”

“
Okay, then I’ll run upstairs and see what I have dirty.”

“
Dirty?”

I noticed the twinkle in his eyes. At that very instant, a force field enveloped me. The same one that grabbed me in my first dream on the bridge. Only now, I wasn’t dreaming. I was wide-awake. And this time, no one would interrupt us. Hopefully.

His grin radiated a sense of total approval. We walked through the foyer. I started up the oak stairs. He grabbed me. Throwing me over his shoulder, caveman style. I squealed all the way up.

“
Don’t drop me. Don’t knock my head on the rail.”

He made it to the upper landing and spun around. “Where to now, love?”

“
First door on the right.”

He began whistling. We tumbled together onto my canopy bed. I giggled.

“
What are you doin’ whistling?”

“
Because, Cinderella, it’s past midnight and nobody’s gonna stop us this time.”

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t even past noon yet. Well, it must be past midnight somewhere. My breath caught in my throat. “No evil stepsisters?”

He shook his head.

“
No geezer cops?”

He shook again.

“
No—”

He kissed me. Oh did he kiss me. I felt my body swirling. I kissed him back. Devouring his being.

I reclined on my side, with my eyes closed, smiling at the wonder of Ashley. We were spooned. His left arm was wrapped around me, cupping my breast. Our right hands were clasped under my feather pillow. I squeezed my Kegel muscle. He contracted his own special brawn. I giggled. My mate softly withdrew and rolled me over to face him.

I surrendered to the all-encompassing love in his eyes. I placed my finger on his lips and traced the contours. He sucked my fingertip. I drew my finger out and stroked it across his chest. I played in the dewy hair, just the right amount. He brushed the blonde ringlets from my face and said, “I love you.”

I sat up. “I love you too.”

“
Really, are you sure? All the way?”

I nodded. “All the way.”

The smile that lit up Ashley’s face informed me he really was my mate. I sighed.

Ashley said, “Well, let’s get some of this lovemaking washed off and prepare for our journey.”

Oh no. “Our journey?” Was he going to make me go live in the clouds or something?

“
Yes, I’ve found the perfect little hideaway on Mars. I hope you approve.”

I blew breath out. “I was afraid of that. I’m gonna grow antennas and have to wear an ugly green spacesuit. Or dog fur. No, wait, we decided on turkey feathers.”

Ashley laughed at me as he sprung up and tugged on my hand. “No. Come on. You’ll like it.”

I reluctantly hit the hall shower while he shaved. I wondered whether I should shave as well. Nah, he’d seen my bikini line. Up close and tasty. I blushed behind the shower curtain. If I was going to live on Mars, what would happen to my house? Well, at least it was clean and paid for. And I certainly wouldn’t miss my job. Norma Jean. We would have to take Norma Jean with us. I would not miss anyone here. Finally it would be my turn to live happily ever after. At last. Wonder what I should take with me? What would I need on Mars to feel at home?

I turned the water off and squeezed out my hair. He handed me a towel.

“
Thanks. Your turn. Want some assistance with the soap?”

He smiled. “The next time. We need to get going.”

So I stepped out of the shower and he stepped in. I proceeded to my closet and wondered which outfit to wear.

Ashley was dressed and sitting on the steps, petting Norma Jean, before I finished fussing with my hair.

I asked, “Should I be jealous?” Actually, that was a valid question, so far as I was concerned.

He grinned as Norma Jean trotted over and licked my bare feet.

I leaned down and scratched behind her ears. “All right, sweet Norma Jean, you are
our friend
. I get it. Sorry to have doubted your intentions.” I laughed.

He smiled. “Come along now.”

I stopped at the foyer closet and slipped into some low sandals. I grabbed my big navy purse. “Wait one minute.” I hurried into the living room and picked up my little portable keyboard. I carefully inserted it into my bag and then slung the straps over my shoulder. “Is there anything else I should bring along?”

“
No, sweetheart. I have everything you’ll need.”

I trotted to the desk and shook open the letter from the editor. “Look!” I proudly handed it to him.

He skimmed it. “I believed in you all along, love. Congratulations.”

I tossed it inside my bag. He led me down the basement stairs, closing the door after Norma Jean. She stumbled past us. A ruddy glow engulfed the stairwell.

“
What have you done to my basement?”

“
Per my rental lease, the tenant shall be permitted to paint, paper, hang pictures and reversibly decorate to suit, so long as everything is returned to the neutral state it was found in at the termination of the contract.”

“
Yeah, sounds familiar.”

We reached the last white Berber-carpeted step. I meandered around his one bedroom, one bathroom, one living room, mini kitchen unit. He’d installed red light bulbs but they were more like black lights in their effect. “What did you do to the walls?”

Ashley said, “Faux finish. Brick red and ocher sponged together.”

“
I should hire you.”

“
You did.” He grinned.

The built-in melamine shelves were stuffed with sheet music, vinyl records, reel-to-reel tapes and CDs. I said, “Hey, eight-track tapes. I remember these. Cassette tapes replaced them. Compact discs made both obsolete.” I ran my finger along his violin. “You play beautifully.”

“
Thanks, love.”

“
How’d you get a piano in here?”

“
The doors come off the hinges.”

I opened my mouth but he interrupted. “Relax, love, I turned the hinges to the inside. Besides, you don’t have to worry about old Officer Dick Fiddler anymore.” He smiled at me.

“
Why not?”

“
Come, I’ll show you on the way.” He offered his hand.

Excitement stirred in my stomach. Wonder what kind of magic carpet ride we’d be sailing through the atmosphere on? Maybe I should get a scrunchie for my hair. It was heck getting the tangles out when I rode with the windows down.

Ashley led me through my garage and outside, around the side of my end unit. A full-sized motor coach sat parallel parked, curbside. It was red with black swirls. He pushed the door open.

“
Get outa here!” I playfully shoved him.

“
What?”

“
You really do drive a tour bus for a group of grandpa rockers from the seventies?”

“
It’s a special bus. You’ll see. What’d ya think I drove?”

“
Magic carpet…space ship…row boat.” We both giggled.

“
You can’t park that thing here.”

“
Why not?”

“
It’s against the covenants of the homeowners’ association. I’m surprised they haven’t towed it yet.”

“
Well, we’ll have to get an exemption then.”

I shook my head. “No exemptions. They are such sticklers at enforcing all of the covenants. My Bradford pear tree got split by lightning. The day of my accident. The association hired a tree removal company and forwarded me the bill.”

“
Well, we’ll not be living under such a communist society.” He gestured to the motor coach. “Come along, love, let’s go house hunting.”

I nervously stepped onto the bus. “Good, the grandpas aren’t onboard.”

“
No, love. They’re playing three nights in Toronto. Sold out a small venue. So we’ve got some time.”

He started to close the door.

“
Wait!”

He stopped. I stumbled down the three steps and called Norma Jean. She pounced aboard. Ashley smiled and we were on our way.