The Immaculate Deception (44 page)

The perpetrators set our mole, Agent Lambert, up to take the counterfeiting fall by feeding false information to Secret Service agent Jones. Lambert had a spotless record, so three British agents were called in on favor to infiltrate. Robin Blair, Ebenezer Cox and Donald Drake. Wimpledink immediately put Cox and Drake on his payroll. Blair went along with the ruse.

The British agents intimidated Blandings’ wife, Mrs. Vera Blandings, personal secretary to President Roosevelt. They coerced her into staging a false murder of her husband. Agent Lambert took the bait and fled to Miami Beach, Florida.

Credible threats against President Roosevelt made it necessary to separate the line of ascension. Vice President Truman went into hiding at a US safe house on Make Believe Island in the Florida Keys. He was bodyguarded by Agents Taurus and Lambert.

Agent Lambert was kidnapped by Cox, Drake and Blair. She was taken by sea to Bermuda, where Miss Fiddler made a money drop at the Bank of Bermuda. Secret Service agent Orpha Livingston was our mole on that mission.

Drake laced hamburger buns with ricin and corn cockle poison. It was traced back to Wimpledink. Agent Jones was their target when they discovered he was on to their crime. He died in the White House in the presence of now President Truman. Although the President shared victuals with Agent Jones, he escaped the attack unharmed since only one bun was poisoned.

Wimpledink and Fiddler were arrested by Secret Service agent Alvin McBride at Wimpledink’s Arlington, Virginia home. Drake and Cox were apprehended by Agent Lambert at her mother’s home in Shrew, North Carolina. All four were convicted of counterfeiting, Wimpledink and Drake were also convicted of the first degree murder of Agent Jones. Drake and Cox were convicted of kidnapping. Bill Blandings is now deceased.

I didn’t care anything about the counterfeiting or Bill Blandings or Vera or Chloe. All I could focus on was Agent Jones’ murder. My Mr. Jones. He died in the line of duty.

~*~

I woke up Sunday morning with no memory of dreaming. How sad. Well, some of the latest dreams had been nightmares but I wished I could go back and get the good ones. The first ones. The romantic ones. Oh how I wished Mr. Jones was real. Well, maybe he once was but not in my lifetime. Damn that Myron Wimpledink and damn his demon spawn Officer Dick.

I heard water running. Great. They were still here. Demon siblings. On the ruse of taking care of poor retarded brain-damaged
Oh-Donna
. I really hated that nickname.

I did my abdominal crunches and weighed in at one hundred and thirty pounds. Shoot. Went up a hair. I took a shower and made myself presentable in sapphire sweat pants and a matching T-shirt. I blow-dried my hair with the diffuser and scrunched the curls.

I opened my bedroom door. The Great Dane had been sleeping up against it. She jumped up and began licking me and trying to shake paws with me. I shook and then petted her.

I trotted down the steps. Scooby Doo-ette nearly tripped me twice, running right along as if I’d challenged her to a race. I heard the vacuum. I shuffled past the living room to witness Tammy running the sweeper. “Good morning.” She didn’t hear me. Headphones.

I plodded into the kitchen. Perry was plating up omelets, toast, bacon, sausage gravy and biscuits.

“
Hello,” I said.

“
Sit down, just in time.”

“
I can’t eat all that, Perry. Umm, thanks though.”

“
Just pick at what you want and I’ll finish it.”

I half-grinned. He was a good cook. I nibbled a bit of biscuit and gravy. “This is really good, Perry.”

“
Dad’s recipe. He uses…used sausage and bacon fat in the gravy. That’s the secret.”

Tammy pranced in. “Good afternoon, Oh-Donna.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s only eight thirty. I didn’t sleep that long.”

Perry said, “I’ve been up since five. Walked your dog—”

“
She’s not my dog. How many times do I have to say it?”

“
Walked your dog, drove over to Giant, stocked up on groceries, dog kibble and I bought her two bowls, a collar, leash and a big old beef bone to gnaw on.”

I demanded, “Where’s my purse?”

“
Relax, my treat.”

I shoved my plate away. “What are you buttering me up for?”

Tammy said, “So, Oh-Donna, have you any idea where Mom is?”

They both stared at me with baited breath.

“
You need some mouthwash, Tammy.”

“
Hey!”

I grinned. “Why would you think I’d know where Chloe is?”

Perry said, “I talked to the Metropolitan Police. Chloe rode a train to Miami and checked in and out of a hotel. You took a plane from Miami to Dulles.”

“
Really?” I gulped a big swig of tea. I made a face. “Too much sugar, Perry.”

He snatched my cup, dumped it in the sink and then refilled it with a tea bag and hot water from the cow kettle. He plopped it down in front of me. A little sloshed out. Tammy mopped it up with her white paper napkin.

I said, “I’m the one who took the train to Miami and checked into the hotel. I had Momma’s purse. I was on the lam, remember? I was accused of torching Little Mount Vernon. And you, Brother, really assumed I did it, didn’t you? I remember you ‘thanking’ me.”

Perry said, “Ah ha! So you’ve been using Chloe’s charge cards!”

“
Twice. That’s all. In my whole life. You probably have your own complete set.”

He looked a little guilty. Tammy too.

My sister said, “Oh-Donna, do you have any idea where Mom might have gone?”

If I let on that my feelings for Chloe had changed, they’d know I’d found her because I would break down and blurt it all out. I really needed to talk to somebody about it. But who? Maybe Reverend McFeely could spare a moment for me this afternoon. I could invite him to lunch. “No. If you find her, please let her know she’s very welcome to move in with me. And by the way, get out!”

“
That’s not very nice, Oh-Donna,” Perry said. “We’re here to take care of you.”

“
Stop with the brain-damaged retarded sisterly love bit. I know you both have ulterior motives. I’m not sure exactly how black they are or what fable undercurrent you’re trying to blow my mind with—just like Daddy used to do.”

Tammy said, “Fine. I’m leaving. Perry, I can stay with you, right?”

He dramatically said, “My sisters are always welcome to whatever I have. If you change your mind, Oh-Donna, you can come and stay at my house.”

Yeah, in a hundred years I will
. Hey, they were really leaving. I followed them to the front door. “Try Palm Springs.”

Tammy said, “What?”

“
Palm Springs. You know, Momma always went there every year for her spa getaway.”

Perry said, “Yeah…she was always glowing when she returned. Thanks. We’ll get on that lead. Listen. Call me if you need anything. If you feel another fainting spell, try to call nine-one-one real quick, ’kay?”

“
Don’t worry. My narcoleptic dreams are gone. I’m past that.”

Tammy said, “But you had one yesterday. Oh-Donna, please let me stay and take care of—”

“
I’m fine. Thanks. Have a happily ever after. Bye-bye now.” I firmly shoved them out the door and pushed on it until it clicked.

I remembered I hadn’t checked the mail yesterday. I waited until after my Payne-in-the-butt siblings drove off before I went out to the mailbox. The Great Dane scrambled out with me, nearly tripping me down the brown brick steps. And back up again. I huffed but let her come back inside.

I threw the mail on my computer desk and stretched my leg to toe the surge protector on. The printer whizzed and groaned. I opened the bill from my cellular phone company.

Well, I guess I needed to take care of this. I picked up the house phone and entered a million numbers and pound keys and listened to all the menus. I finally reached a live person, who not only shocked me by issuing a credit retroactive to the accident, she said she’d have a courier bring me a new phone and I’d have it tomorrow. Wow. Service with a smile and this was a Sunday no less.

I opened a government letter.

Well, how about that? Daddy really did name me as beneficiary of his veterans’ life insurance. The funeral home must’ve notified Social Security and so on. Wow. An efficiently run government. How did you like that? Just fine, I did.

I filled out the form and reached for a return address label from up in the cubbyholes over my desk. I noticed an envelope tucked up there. I pulled it out. Oh right. The self-addressed stamped envelope from the editor that I sent the partial to. The one I was supposed to meet at the conference that I missed because—

I slit it open with a pencil.

I smiled. Finally, a good rejection. And from an editor, not an agent. Wow. And finally she bothered to tell me what was wrong with it. They didn’t publish books set in my historical period. Not that my writing sucked.

I read it over three times. I opened up my email box. It was empty, not even any spam. I addressed a new message to Ashley.

I hit
send
and retrieved my little two-pound keyboard from the desk drawer. I pressed the
on/off
button and file one opened. Great. The batteries still worked.

I fluffed up a throw pillow and hopped on the couch, stretching out with my keyboard on my legs.

Chapter One

I heard my computer wheeze behind me. The electricity went out. An angry wind howled. That’s okay, I got my trusty little battery keyboard. Let’s see. I began typing.

I heard music. It was getting pitch-black in the middle of the morning. Like a total eclipse of the sun. I wasn’t dreaming this time or I didn’t think I was. I sprang up and crept into the hallway. The music played louder. Violin. One lonely violin. Frank Sinatra’s “All The Way” emanated live—from my basement. I loved this song about how important it is to love unconditionally. Maybe someone would love me like that someday.

Ashley must be home! I knocked on the door. “Ashley, is that you?” Nothing. “Ashley?”

The violin halted. I heard footsteps ascending the stairs.

Chapter Nineteen

T
he Great Dane barked at the basement door. The massive canine jumped and sniffed.

I said, “Down. Down, doggie, down,” as I grabbed onto her chain collar that Perry bought her. “Careful, Ashley. I have a big dog up here but she’s friendly. Hold onto the hand railing, I don’t want her to knock you down the steps.”

I pulled and tugged on her collar but only managed to move her far enough away so that Ashley could open the door. The hinges were on my side, so it opened into the foyer. I ended up squatting on the hardwood floor with my arms wrapped around the Great Dane’s massive chest. “It’s all right, Ashley, you can open it now. I think I’ve got her in custody.”