The Illusionists (13 page)

Birdsong dipped and spun overhead.

‘Do you feel something?' said White, curious.

‘I didn't sob into my handkerchief when I found out, if that's what you mean.'

‘No, Frith. I am asking you now, do you feel something?'

Frith shrugged. ‘He was just  …  someone. He was much less than he persuaded me he was. But then, we are easily persuadable when we're young.'

‘But you think about this place, and him, often.'

‘Occasionally, perhaps.'

‘No,' said White. ‘It is always there. I saw it. It influences everything you do. Why do you let it?'

Frith sighed shortly. ‘Believe what you will.'

They fell silent. The noise of the wood washed over them. White felt an enormous tug of weariness. It was the memory's power. The longer he stayed here, the harder it would be to leave. Frith's mind would not let him. The grass looked invitingly soft. It was warm. Calm.

‘I am so tired,' he said softly.

‘Stay with me,' came Frith's voice. ‘I'll protect you. Just as I've always done.'

He felt eyes on him, inviting.

‘You will hurt me.'

‘No. Not if you stay.'

White hesitated a moment. Was he going to see it through? Was he going to live with it?

Yes. He would live with it. At the end of it all, if someone stood in judgement on the things he had done, he would be okay about that. He would take whatever punishment was given him, and he would have to be okay.

He walked towards Frith, who stood waiting, a small smile on his face.

He started to let it go.

Let it all go.

The feel of Frith, the sound of this place. The hate that had begun to eat at him, the hate that smelled and felt like Frith.

He was halfway there when Frith noticed what was happening.

White pushed, hard. He had very little time.

The last image he had as he left was of Frith giving a scream of fury and pulling his knife. But it was too late. He'd gone, leaving Frith stuck in his own memory, alone.

When he woke, it was to find himself standing by the fireplace as before. Frith was beside him. White let go of his wrist and took an alarmed step backwards, stumbling on legs that felt like a stranger's.

Frith didn't move.

White reached out a hand. It was a bad idea, but he had to make sure. He pushed Frith on the shoulder. His body gave under the push, but nothing more happened.

‘Frith,' he said.

Frith was silent. He blinked, once, but his gaze stayed on the grate.

‘Frith,' said White again.

This was worse, much worse, than he had thought it would be. He had been expecting something like sleep, peaceful and unaware. But Frith's eyes were wide open, and he stood as he would at any other moment. He had not collapsed, moved or done anything. He just wasn't there any more.

He was trapped in a memory.

White backed up to the door, in case. There was a part of him that was convinced Frith was pretending, that he would start to move, stir to life, and look around for him. He couldn't stop watching. If he took his eyes away, Frith would come back.

But then, Frith wasn't Talented. White knew what a horrible, relentless pull that memory would have on him. He might never get out.

And even if he did, White would be well away from him.

You're supposed to kill him now. Kill him so you never have to worry about him again.

But White couldn't do that. He saw that now, as clear as anything in his life. He saw himself as a murderer and laughed at the idea of it. Take a knife, walk up to Frith and stab him with it? Feel it forever after, echoing in his arm at bad moments when his mind wanted to punish him?

No, and never. The thought made him sick to his soul.

So this, instead. A temporary death.

Maybe it was worse than killing him. White had never left anyone trapped inside themselves before. He had no idea what would happen to Frith, over time. It was a horrible thing to do. A disgusting, despicable thing.

I'm sorry
, thought White.
I'm sorry, Frith. I've done this to you. I've done it and there's no going back.

But there wasn't any other way.

You'd have had me killed soon. I know it. Every time you looked at me, I could see it. You'd have destroyed me the way you destroyed Oaker, and I won't let you. You took Rue from me. You'll take away everything I've ever wanted and you'll leave me with nothing but you.

I don't want you.

White pulled the message bell, then leaned against the wall next to it for a moment. He couldn't bring himself to leave Frith there alone, uncared for. Even if there were cameras on them right now, it might be a while before anyone realised there was something wrong.

Frith stared into the grate.

White took a breath, feeling sick, and Jumped.

A faint popping noise made Cho turn her head, unthinking.

There behind her was a face.

She screamed.

It's the police. They've come for you. They've got you and you're going to prison. You're going away just like your brother did, but this time no one's going to help because no one cares about you.

‘Fuck!' she said hoarsely, when she realised who it was.

Rue stared up from her crouched position in the corner of the room. She looked panicked.

‘I'm sorry!' she said. ‘I didn't mean to! I didn't. I'm sorry! I –'

Rue stopped, looking around wildly.

Cho threw the T-shirt she was clutching at Rue's head.

‘Don't DO THAT!' she shouted, her heart galloping.

Rue seemed puzzled. ‘You're not bothered?' she said.

‘Bothered? Yes, I bloody am! You can't just come barging in here whenever you feel like it!'

‘No, I mean  …  you seem okay with what I just did,' said Rue, looking more confused than ever.

‘Well, you're Talented, aren't you? That's what you told me last time.'

‘But  …  I didn't think you knew what I was talking about.'

Cho snorted. ‘Oh please. I grew up with one. You lot are all the same. My brother hadn't the faintest idea about privacy. Nosy sot.'

This seemed to shock Rue into silence. She opened her mouth, her face urgent, but Cho cut her off.

‘What are you doing here, anyway?' she said. Inside her head she winced at her own rudeness. Why did she have a pathological inability to just be nice?

Rue didn't seem the least bit affronted, though. She straightened, hugging her arms to her body. She was squirmy and furtive.

‘Hiding from someone?' said Cho, wry.

Rue seemed to struggle to answer this, turning it over and over before answering with a defiant, ‘Maybe.'

‘Then go away,' said Cho.

‘I just need to talk to you,' said Rue. ‘It's important.'

Cho sighed, her gaze on Rue's face.

She'd be called plain by a lot of people. Chestnut hair, but not even highlighted to bring out the red. Soft brown eyes, but no gold rings or colour flecks to make them interesting. Nothing fantastical about her at all. But there was something gorgeous, there, if you looked at her for a while. She was touchable. The kind of girl you wanted to curl up against and grip.

Rue shifted her gaze to Cho, forcing her to drop her eyes. Harder to have thoughts like that out in the real, where blushes couldn't be controlled. She cleared her throat.

‘So come on, then. Talk. What's so important?' she said.

‘I need help,' replied Rue, simply.

‘You don't mess about, do you? What kind of help?'

‘I need  …  I need somewhere to stay. Not here. But maybe you have a friend.'

Cho snorted. ‘Huh. What makes you think I'd help you, jack?'

Rue looked about, as if she didn't know what to say. Then her face hardened.

‘Because I know about the kind of people you're friends with.'

Cho laughed, a jagged sound. ‘Oh, lovely. Blackmail. I respond really well to that kind of thing.'

‘Please, just listen!' Rue cried. She pushed her hair back from her face, her slim wrist flickering in and out of her sleeve. ‘I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean it. You're my friend, Cho. You're my only friend here.'

Cho raised a brow, trying to look unimpressed.

‘Maybe if I tell you everything I know, then you might – you might believe me,' said Rue.

The poor girl looked miserable, and confused, and a thousand other things. She seemed so unbalanced. This was wild Rue, all flying hands and darting eyes. It was unnerving.

Something bad had happened.

Cho shrugged, cautious. ‘So tell me.'

Rue sat, plaiting her fingers, rubbing the nails together in an anxious gesture.

‘I first saw you in a dream,' she said.

‘A dream.'

‘Yes. It was before I ever met you. In the dream, we were in a castle. Big stone rooms.'

Rue swallowed. It didn't look like it had been a good dream, by the expression on her face.

‘Then, weeks later, I  …  I met you at that party.'

‘Okay, well  … ' said Cho. ‘So what?'

‘What?' said Rue, astonished. ‘Weren't you listening? I had a dream about you.
Then
I met you. I dreamed of your face, your name, before I ever knew of either.'

Cho shrugged. ‘Well, you're Talented; I get that. My brother was too, okay, so I know all about it. I mean, he could do things that would terrify most people. What you're saying is that you had a dream of the future. Well, I've never heard of anyone being able to do that, but fine. Say I believe you. What then? What do you want me to do about it?'

Rue looked away.

‘Can I ask you something?' she said, staring at the floor.

‘What?'

‘What was your brother's name?'

Cho bit back her irritation. ‘What's this got to do with anything?'

‘You told me that he left World to go to Angle Tar,' said Rue, slowly. ‘And that he was Talented. Right? So what was his name?'

Her face was carefully constructed, waiting for a response she was obviously looking for.

Cho gave it to her.

‘His name was Jacob,' she said.

‘Jacob Yun?'

‘Well  …  yeah.'

‘But your last name isn't Yun.'

‘We had our family name changed a few years ago.' Cho fixed her with her best stony stare. ‘That
is
allowed here, by the way.'

Rue stood up so fast that Cho flinched back, her hands automatically flashing out behind her to stop herself falling.

The girl was trembling. She was actually trembling. She turned away from Cho and stared at the door.

‘What the jack is the matter?' said Cho, feeling a curious, nervous burning start in her chest.

She wondered afterwards if some part of her knew, before it all fell out of Rue's mouth.

‘What?' she said again. ‘Come on!'

Rue spoke to the door. ‘I know him,' she said. ‘I know your brother. Only he didn't call himself Jacob when I met him. He called himself White.'

There was a deafening pause.

White. That stupid nickname he had always insisted on using.

‘You know my brother,' said Cho, her voice flat with disbelief.

‘He was my tutor. In Angle Tar.'

‘Your tutor.'

‘Yes,' Rue snapped, glancing at her. ‘Are you just going to echo everything I say?'

‘Jacob. Tall. Pale skin. Dark hair. Cold, condescending prig.'

Rue managed a laugh. ‘That's him.'

Though the girl looked shaken, Cho couldn't be absolutely certain this wasn't a trick. Her natural inclination was always to distrust, even though her instinct told her that Rue was telling the truth. Still. She had to be sure.

‘Tell me something about him.'

‘What?'

Cho spread her hands. ‘For all I know, you're lying,' she said. ‘So tell me something you could only know if you'd met him.'

Rue looked wild. ‘Like what?'

‘Something personal.'

‘He never talked about himself! Ever! I didn't even know he had a sister!'

Well, that sounded about right. It still hurt, though.

‘Wait,' said Rue, suddenly. ‘I know about your mother. Her  …  Her disability.'

Cho scoffed. ‘You can get that crap from my Life files. Medical files, social files. That information is everywhere.'

‘White was  …  he was in prison for a while, before he came to Angle Tar.'

‘Files, Rue. You can get that from files.'

Rue stared hard at the floor.

Cho shook her head.

Rue looked up. She looked straight into Cho's eyes.

‘When he talks,' she said, ‘you absolutely believe him. He could make fairies sound so real, they'd almost seem boring. He sometimes wears his hair back in a plait, but bits of it always escape. He hates social things. He must have hated the parties here. He makes you feel stupid, almost as an afterthought, as if no one he's ever met could possibly understand him. But then when you've got his attention, you feel like you could drown in it. When he opens himself up, it's overwhelming.'

Cho looked away. Underneath her folded arms, she took a pinch of rib flesh in between two fingers and squeezed, until her eyes were dry again.

‘Fine,' she managed. ‘So you know him.' She laughed.

Rue turned and leaned against the door, arms folded tightly to herself.

‘You're his sister,' she said, soft. ‘I really didn't believe it until now.'

Rue looked at Cho, and Cho looked at Rue, and the longer it went on, the harder it was to break. No one really looked at each other. Not truly. It must be because of how much was revealed through a gaze, and how disturbing it was to have someone see you, really see you.

‘You do look like him,' said Rue, finally.

Cho tried to laugh, but it came out as a strangled little cry.

‘I'm sorry,' said Rue. ‘I didn't know. I would have – I don't know – said something.'

Cho picked at her trousers, trying to straighten her face out. It felt crumpled.

‘This is screwed up,' she said, eventually. ‘Do you know what the chances are?'

She was about to break, and ask her how Jacob was. If he looked different now. What Rue thought of him. A million things.

‘Gods,' said Rue to herself. ‘Wren was right. It is all about him. It's all been planned, somehow.'

‘What are you talking about?'

‘Nothing.' But there was something in her eyes. Something she held back.

‘Rue. You tell me what's going on, right now. Or you go.'

‘I don't know what's going on. Truly.'

Silence fell.

Rue came and sat on the bed beside her. Cho felt her heart flutter. Their eyes locked.

Cho dropped hers first. ‘Just because you know Jacob, you think I trust you now?'

‘No. But you should. I just need  …  I need some time. I need to stay somewhere tonight. Please. Is there anyone you know?'

Cho fidgeted.

‘Fine,' she said, finally. ‘There's someone. But you'd better tell me everything before I let you anywhere near her house.'

Rue nodded tightly.

Cho surfaced from HI-Life beside her with a little sigh. It looked so easy, as if she'd just taken a little nap.

‘Okay,' she said. ‘I've got someone. Livie – you've met her before. She'll let you stay tonight. In the morning you'll probably have to go. We'll see.'

Rue breathed out. ‘Thank you. Thank you so much.'

Wren would never find her. She had no implant to track, and he couldn't Jump straight to a stranger's house.

Now she just had to get there.

They left Cho's apartment building together a few minutes later, and began to walk down the road. Rue glanced around anxiously, raking her gaze across the streets, expecting at any moment to see Wren stepping out of thin air, come to drag her back and lock her up again. She didn't know if she could panic Jump twice.

‘Okay,' she said after a while, feeling the other girl's stare burning a hole into her cheek as they walked. ‘What do you want to know?'

Cho's first question took her by surprise.

‘Tell me,' she said, strangely uncertain. ‘Was it – I mean, you said you were Jacob's student  … '

‘Yes,' said Rue. ‘For a while.'

‘And he taught you the Talent. That's what he does there, is it? Teach.'

Rue's shoulders moved uncomfortably. ‘Yes,' she managed.

‘What's he like? I haven't seen him in so long. I want to know how the Angle Tarain see him.'

It was astonishing, considering she had been the one to bring him up, how little Rue actually wanted to talk about him. The dream him and her memories of the real him had merged somewhat, forming a strange and divided picture of the White she remembered.

‘When I first met him, I hated him,' said Rue.

She felt Cho's eyes on her.

‘He was cold and pompous. He made me feel stupid, so I made fun of him. He didn't like that. We argued.'

Cho was silent, swallowing it up.

‘I was told that I had to give him a second chance; that White was the only one who could unlock my Talent. So we continued our lessons. He was annoying, and I disliked him. And I thought about him all the time. And, I don't know  …  Something happened.' Rue sighed. ‘I had this  …  dream about him. I just forgot about it, afterwards. I've had dreams about a lot of things. But then he took my hand at the ball, and he danced with me.'

Silence.

‘Were you sleeping with him, Rue?' came Cho's voice eventually, hard and hot and accusatory.

‘No!' Rue squirmed. ‘I'm not really sure. Maybe a part of me did.'

‘What on earth is that supposed to mean?'

She stared at Cho, helpless in the face of her. ‘I don't know. It's complicated. I thought he liked me, just me. And I got angry – someone told me things about him. And I believed them. Now I'm not sure they're true. Even if they are, I don't care any more. I wouldn't mind about any of it, if he  …  if he liked me.'

‘But he's a complete bastard,' said Cho. ‘How can you talk like that about him?'

‘He's not!'

‘You haven't had the benefit of years of experience, so it's no good getting snippy with me. Sisters and lovers will never see someone the same way.'

‘I'm
not
his lover,' said Rue, growing hot. ‘Well –'

She faltered, remembering the last dream she had had of him.

‘He doesn't think of me like that. I'm sure I'm just an idiot to him.'

The words were sour in her mouth.

‘Did he say that?' said Cho.