The Illusionists (10 page)

‘But,' said Rue, trying to understand and feeling once again forever lost, behind, somewhere back
there
, ‘what is this place?'

‘See the segmented globe image on the door? It's the symbol for World, right?'

‘I didn't know that.'

‘Well, these halls, they started building them after the first few signal bombs. Safe houses. They're filled with signal dampeners. Means no one can be hurt through their implant. Also means the implants are completely useless. Can't track anyone, can't jack into Life, can't find anything out. It's horrible to find yourself alone, where you can't just  …  shift your focus and find out anything you want. You're totally helpless, unable to connect to anyone else.'

‘You can connect to someone else,' said Rue. ‘It's called talking.'

‘Look, I know, okay? I'm the first to admit we're too reliant on Life. But when it's taken away, everything stops. It wasn't just pain that stopped the jacked-in people from doing anything except lying there. It's the body shock of silence. It's never silent in World. You're never alone with your own voice in your head and nothing else – not unless you want to be. And most people don't.'

‘You're confusing,' said Rue. ‘You talk one way and then the opposite, and you're angry about both of them. So which one do you believe more?'

Cho sighed. For a moment, Rue thought she wouldn't speak. Then she twisted in her seat to look at Rue directly.

‘What do
you
believe? Really.'

‘I don't know,' said Rue, taken aback. ‘I just  …  with this ability, I suppose I see things a different way to most other people.'

‘Ability?'

‘We call it Talent, in Angle Tar. I can do things. With dreams. And some people can Jump to different places.'

Cho just stared at her.

‘It doesn't matter,' said Rue, giving up. ‘I think I'm still working out what I believe.'

They sat in silence for a while. The crowd in the hall had grown considerably. It was calm, conversations rustling like paper around them.

‘How long will we be here?' said Rue.

‘Several hours. Or only a couple. Depends how quickly they can get everything up and running again. Sometimes they keep everyone locked down here to make sure it's all over. They never learn. The attacks don't last more than minutes, and there's never another one for months. But they can't have people walking around with malfunctioning implants, trying endlessly to jack in. Down here it's all blocked. No signals. No World. No Life.'

Rue tried to imagine what it would be like to lose Life, all that instant wealth of knowledge, all those voices, all that everything. It would be like losing most of your brain, she supposed. Suddenly you wouldn't know the answer to anything. You wouldn't be able to know what was going on anywhere but the area within your sightline. You wouldn't know how to think or what to believe, because there would be nothing authoritative to tell you. Your sister, or your father, or your children – you wouldn't be able to talk to them if you weren't in the same room. You wouldn't be able to play a game to pass the time – you wouldn't know how games worked outside of Life. You wouldn't be able to read anything, watch anything except the people around you. There would be nothing there, nothing at all, to distract you from yourself.

It would be awful. Rue could never understand how awful, because to her Life was a toy, fascinating and occasional. She had not yet learned to incorporate it into her existence. It was quite a terrible thing for someone to do to someone else.

She thought about the little disc Cho had slipped into her ear.

‘You knew,' said Rue.

Cho said nothing.

‘All those people out there. Did you have something to do with it?'

‘Don't be ridiculous. I was just warned about it, that's all.'

‘Well, that's all right, then.'

Cho sighed, her voice low. ‘Just  …  relax. It was only a couple of cities.'

‘A couple of
cities
?'

‘Keep your voice down.'

‘Was it the Technophobes?'

‘Depends on which theory you believe today. Tomorrow there'll be another one. I think the current favourite to blame is Ifranland, or maybe China because of what's happening with trade agreements at the moment. It's all over the news. People latch onto the news.'

‘Who's China?'

Cho looked at Rue, the ghost of amusement in her face. ‘It's another country. They're more advanced than World in some ways. They like to express their disapproval with World's lack of cooperation on certain things by financing groups like the Technophobes to drop disruptor bombs and wipe out the Life signal. It's nothing.'

‘But it's the Technophobes who actually do it. Isn't it?'

‘You're not seeing the big picture. Who actually calls the shots? That's more important.'

‘No,' said Rue, her voice rising, ‘It's really not. One person's actions are more important than a hundred people's wishes. So why don't they just own up to it?'

Cho hissed. ‘Rue, just please keep your voice down!'

Cities. Cities, plural. Hundreds of thousands of people. Millions?

‘It's a cruel thing to do,' she said.

‘Oh, what do you know about it?' Cho sneered. ‘You've never even lived here. You're here for a couple of months and you think you can pass judgement on everything that goes on. You have no idea, none at all. You go on back to your quaint little island paradise and laugh at us.'

‘It's not a paradise,' said Rue, angry. ‘That's why I left.'

‘You haven't seen what Life can do,' Cho said. ‘People can only cope with one reality at a time. They'd like to think they're cleverer than that, but they're not. Give them a choice and they'll kill themselves trying to live three lives at once, when only one is worth it. No one really believes there's anything after death, because no one can prove it. People only believe in gods when things get really bad, because what else will stop forces you can't control? So everyone tries to cram everything into this existence, and they should. But Life is a drug, and people get addicted, and they stop caring about anything else. They don't want to live in reality any more.'

‘I don't understand your way of thinking at all,' said Rue. ‘The Life system is as real as this hall. Who says you can't live both?'

Cho just shook her head.

‘It's people like you,' she said at length, ‘that came up with ideas like Life in the first place, and screwed us all. You're just like my brother. He lived inside his head so much he stopped caring about anything outside of it. Couldn't appreciate what he had because he was always looking for what he didn't bloody well have.'

Rue crossed her arms and pressed her mouth into a line to stop it from opening and saying very stupid, very pointless things. No one could argue with someone like Cho. It was almost a trait to be admired, except of course when you were on the receiving end of it.

Cho took a tiny box out of her pocket and popped it open. Inside was a pile of little gold stars. She picked up three with the tip of her finger and laid them on her tongue.

Rue watched this, wary. ‘What are they for?'

‘Go away,' said Cho. She closed her mouth and swallowed.

Rue didn't go away, though. She stayed, even when Cho began to sway on the spot from the drug in those little stars and nearly fell off her chair.

Rue sat beside her and had Cho lean against her side. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't asleep. Occasionally she would jerk.

The sadness and fragility Cho had running through her blood was obvious when she became angry, and she seemed to be angry most of the time. It was easy to be offended by her, but just as easy to let go of it. Rue didn't want to leave her alone in this state.

Besides, there was no one else to go to. Just another room full of people she couldn't connect with, or didn't want to connect with. Did that make her small minded, or mean? She wasn't sure.

Rue knew she didn't really care about Wren. She had been angry when he had seduced her, with all his silver-eyed charm, away from Angle Tar and White. He'd acted as though she was a special thing, as though he hadn't been able to stand her staying in Angle Tar. As though he had wanted her for himself. So he'd come to take her away to World, a fantasy place that seemed to fulfil every desire she'd ever had.

How pathetic that seemed now.

How childish.

If she kept chasing dreams, she'd only end up being more and more disappointed, until she withered and dwindled and drew into herself.

It was time to face reality.

She looked around the hall, wondering how long they'd be stuck here for. Wondering if they'd bring food round. It reminded her of the tunnels underneath Capital City that had so shocked her. The tunnels reminded her of White, and the last words she had ever spoken to him. The dreams she'd been having of him recently, and how they had opened up the beautiful pain of him in her chest, turning her thoughts to him, again and again.

Nothing happened for what seemed like slow, agonising hours, until she was drooping, and Cho was practically asleep.

Then movement caught her eye, and she turned to see a clutch of uniformed men she assumed were police, wearing darkened plastic wraps over their faces that hid their eyes and noses, spill into the hall. They drew the eager crowd to them just with their presence. Rue stayed where she was, mistrustful.

The men told everyone they could go home, and that a list would soon be circulated on Life of people who had been taken to nearby medical halls, and that they should check that list if they got home to find someone they lived with was missing, and someone in the crowd started crying loudly, and everyone else just stood watching with dumb faces until the men herded them up out of the hall like geese and broke them back out into the wide world, and gods it was so dark outside.

Cho pushed away from her on the way back out, suddenly, and Rue lost her. She tried to see which way Cho was walking, at least memorise a street name, a general direction, but there were too many people in the way, and then that was it. Cho had gone.

Well, you have her address,
she thought.
Just go round there and make her talk to you. Don't let her slip away again.

Out on the street, people streamed back to their houses, panic in their eyes. Would they find someone missing? Alone, Rue walked home, mirroring the way she had come.

There was a strange quiet. No one around. An alarm or two in the distance. She could only guess that they were the sound of medical teams. She walked and rubbed her arms, cold. What if she got in and found Sabine on the floor, her eyes blank? Or Lars?

She reached her building. The key spell scanned her eye and the front door slid open.

She stepped into the hallway.

It was dim and cool.

‘Hello?' she called.

Gods, that had sounded loud. Like no one was home. She checked every room and all the shared areas, just in case. But she was all alone.

Rue felt a hot unease start in her chest.

She should never have thought what she'd thought about Wren earlier. She should never have been so ungrateful to him. She should never. Because what if?

She slid into Wren's bedroom. For a split second, she wondered if the box would be missing, or maybe even exploded into messy pieces from the attack, unusable.

But it was there.

She switched it on, the familiar hum trilling into a whine. The blue glow crept upwards, a screen of light. Rue put her head into it.

Then nothing, for one heart-stopping moment.

Then her account gathered around her.

And there. The bouncing icon of an unread message, waiting.

She opened it.

Rue – am all right.

Apparently we got warned it was happening, but endlessly stupid government said it was a joke and ignored it. Keep that to yourself. Anyway, wasn't jacked in.

Home soon.

Rue read it twice through, then began a third time before stopping suddenly, irritated.

Yes, okay. She'd been worried about him. But hadn't he been even slightly worried about her? A ‘how are you?', though a bit trivial, would have been better than nothing.

Rue – am all right.

As if that was her first concern. Of course. As if she had nothing else to worry about. Nothing else like –

Just what the hell happened to everyone?

Or
I think I dreamed about this, and then it came true.

Or
I'm friends with a girl who might be linked to actual terrorists, and oh yes, I dreamed about her before I met her, even though that's completely impossible.

According to him, all she had to think about was
Is Wren all right?

No caring about her in that message. Not even a bit.

Rue dumped the message in her account bin and sat, hugging her knees, watching the wallpaper across from her play its little stories. The girl at the well. The Pake lookalike as he rubbed his head. She sat, and she watched, and she thought of everything that she had done in her life that had brought her to this place. All those turns, all those decisions. All the moments that had built, brick by brick, into a prison, hemming her into the here and the now.

She thought of the undeniable fact – a fact she now woke up to every morning with a burning sickness – that she'd made the wrong choice.

White had found three more cameras in his rooms.

A quick search of his classroom revealed five, tucked into shadowed corners.

People followed him. It was discreet, and almost invisible. Now that he saw Worlder kidnappers in every corner, he could also see his shadowers. Had they always been there? Maybe they had. Who would trust him enough to let him loose without being able to put him down any time they wanted?

Every second of his life here was already mapped out for him. He couldn't decide he suddenly wanted to be a farmer, or a shopkeeper, instead of a tutor. He couldn't leave the city, or even the boundaries of the university. The only thing that he still had of his own, that they couldn't find a way to control, were his dreams.

His head was full of Rue, and of Frith. Where was Rue, and what was happening to her? Did she still hate him? What the hell would Frith do next, and just what was he going to do about it? He chased questions around and around again, but had no answers. It was driving him mad.

Everything was driving him mad.

There was a knock on his door.

He stood. His heart crashed and pounded in his chest. It was Frith. Had to be.

The knock came again.

‘Mussyer White? Syer? It's Lufe. Are you there?'

Lufe.

White stood for a moment.

‘Syer?'

The knock came a third time.

‘Come,' he called out. Their lesson wasn't until tomorrow. Why would he be visiting now, this late at night?

The door opened and Lufe craned his head around it.

‘Apologies,' he said. ‘I know that you weren't expecting me.'

‘Please, enter.'

Lufe slinked into the room. He had changed considerably since White had first met him. He had the distinction of being one of the most Talented students White had taught so far. He could now Jump fairly accurately, though his dreaming skills were less disciplined. So it came as little surprise to see the telltale golden sparkle of a brooch pinned to his lapel in the shape of oak leaves spraying from a single branch. The sign of a student being groomed for a government department.

Lufe hovered. ‘May I sit? I'll be quick.'

‘Please.'

Lufe looked around the room. ‘It's odd,' he said eventually. ‘Having the authority to call on you in your private rooms now. I feel like I'm being rude.'

‘Not at all. You are a government man, and may do as you wish.'

Lufe touched his brooch self-consciously. ‘Yes. It's all happened rather fast.'

‘You are very Talented,' said White. ‘This makes you extremely useful.'

‘Well, when you put it like that,' said Lufe, and gave an awkward laugh. ‘But we will still have lessons, right?'

‘Of course. I teach many older Talented who already work in government. Not only students.'

‘Yes, I forgot.'

White offered him a drink, wondering at his strangely shy behaviour. What was he here for?

They sat together in silence. Lufe took a long pull from his glass.

‘Lea and I are getting married,' he said, in a rush.

‘Ah, I see. Felicitations,' said White.

‘Thank you. I can't stay long; her parents are waiting on me. We are all to dinner this evening.'

‘What are they like?' said White. It was comforting, sometimes, to hear of others' personal matters.

‘The mother is Lea but older, and much less attractive,' said Lufe. His face had taken on a peculiar mix of happy thunder. ‘The two of them together are unbearable. The father is convinced I'm not high born enough, as if he doesn't even know my family name. He glares at me when I kiss her. Because kissing in public is so incredible nowadays!'

Lufe ranted. White listened, watching the young man's face. It was a sweet thing to see him pretend to detest them so. They were the parents of his beloved and he would do nothing to deter them from him. He seemed to enjoy the head butting, as if it presented a challenge to be overcome. He and Lea would have a life. It would be many things, both good and bad, but it would be together.

‘So things are going well for you,' said White.

‘Yes, they are.'

Then Lufe was silent, looking into his drink.

‘Lea's aiming to teach here, eventually,' he said after a pause. ‘Her Talent has never been up to much. She's gifted in other areas.'

‘Will you have children?' said White. It was the kind of conversation where he should say the right things about all the possible bright futures ahead.

‘Lea wants them. I don't know. It seems selfish, doesn't it? Bringing them into a world like this. All the secrets and spying.'

‘People have been bringing children into worlds like these since the beginning of humanity. Life never changes. People never change. You must make your happiness while you can and enjoy every second of it.'

Lufe was watching him, his expression carefully constructed.

‘Lea wants to know where Rue is,' he said in a rush.

White crossed his arms. He was annoyed at himself – his heart still stopped briefly whenever her name came up.

‘I've asked around. But I keep getting shot down. I've been told in no uncertain terms to drop it.'

‘Then you should,' said White sharply, but his tone didn't seem to bother Lufe.

‘It's not just Lea,' Lufe continued. ‘We all want to know. I mean, she can't just leave like that without anyone even bothering to try to get her back.'

White was silent.

‘So,' Lufe hesitated. ‘I said I'd ask you.'

‘I have no idea where she is,' White said.

‘Haven't you tried to find her?'

‘No.'

‘But  …  I thought you  … '

White watched him. ‘You thought what?'

‘You were, you know  …  involved.' Lufe blushed scarlet. ‘Weren't you?'

White was silent, his jaw clenched tight.

‘No,' he managed, finally. ‘We were not.'

Lufe had a deeply confused expression on his face. ‘Look, I understand why you might not want to confirm it to someone like me, but I think I should tell you that we all know about you and Rue. We've known ever since the moment she fell for you. It was like a match being struck.'

There was a part of White that couldn't bear to listen to this. In a violent rush, he remembered that feeling that he'd had when she had danced with him; that she could like him, that there was a chance. He tried to push it away.

‘What are you doing?' he said. His voice was snappish. ‘Are you playing some sort of idiotic trick?'

Lufe held a hand up, his face shocked. ‘God, no. Honestly. I mean it.'

White looked away.

‘Didn't  …  you realise?' came Lufe's voice, his tone curious. ‘Didn't you see it? We all thought you were having an affair. She practically smelled of you. A couple of times, we shared her dreams. Did we ever tell you that? We didn't mean it, though in Marches' case I think he tried his hardest to do it all the time. I think it only happened twice, but –'

Lufe paused, searching.

‘But it didn't start happening until Rue got here,' he said finally, firmly. ‘It never happened before that. It was Rue. That was her Talent. I've never been able to pull people into my dreams; I didn't even know you could
do
that. And I know none of the others can.'

White stared at him, astounded.

Lufe carried on, oblivious. ‘One time we all got pulled into Rue's dream. It wasn't that long after she first got here. It was you and her in a room together. You were talking about something or other. Psychology, or art, or something. She was asking you how you saw her. And then she told you that she didn't think of you as a teacher, and she was blushing. And then you  … '

Lufe stopped, his mouth spreading into a sly smile. There was no mistaking what he meant.

No. No, not possible.

Kill me now. Earth, swallow me whole.

‘That was
my
dream,' said White, his voice a horrified croak. ‘That was
mine
.'

‘I don't think so. I think she pulled you into hers. Because she was definitely dreaming it. I felt it from her point of view, not yours. It was very  …  You understand? Very powerful. And that was the moment that I knew she'd fallen for you – and you for her. I was jealous, actually. You were the one we wanted to impress the most, but it was Rue who had all your attention. We fell out with her about it. Well  …  we never told her why. I feel bad about not telling her.'

White was still and silent with shock. That had never happened with anyone before. Never, he was sure of it. He'd never shared his dreams with anyone, had he? How could he know, without asking everyone he had ever dreamed about?

What did it mean? He remembered her pressing into him from the floor. Her little teeth on his neck. Had she really done that?

What about the last few dreams he had had of them together in a dark room? He'd thought it was his own longing that produced those embarrassing, secret scenes.

Now Lufe was telling him that it was really
her
.

‘Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything,' said Lufe, with the cheery demeanour of someone who meant exactly the opposite. ‘But if I've made you want to go and find her, then it's for the good, and Lea will be happy.'

White felt his bewilderment sour into anger. ‘Why would I wish to find her? She left. She betrayed and left everyone behind her, like they meant nothing.'

‘I don't know', said Lufe quietly, ‘if it's Rue you're really talking about there.'

White didn't reply. Inside his head, he had punched Lufe in the face for that. Because it was true, and because it hurt.

Silence fell like a heavy blanket.

After a moment more, Lufe stood, and made a short bow.

‘I'm sorry, Mussyer,' he said in a careful, formal tone. ‘I spoke out of turn. I must go to Lea. I hope that you won't think badly of me, and that we'll see each other tomorrow with no ill will.'

White said nothing at first, his throat too tight to speak.

‘Give Lea my best wishes,' he managed.

‘I shall.' Lufe hesitated at the door. ‘If you do try to find her, and you succeed  …  will you tell us? Please?'

White managed a stiff nod.

The bottom of Lufe's coat frisked grandly as he left, shutting the door behind him. White watched him go. And as soon as the door clicked closed, he stood up, agitated.

There was no point trying to prove it the next time he dreamed of her. His dream version of her would say yes if he asked whether she was dreaming this too, somewhere in World. Dream Rue would say yes and he wouldn't know whether it was the truth, or whether it was because he wanted her to say it.

And it was no good thinking about anything, or planning, because Lufe had opened the gates again with his casual remarks, and it was all decided the moment White realised that the life he had when he was asleep could be the life he had when he was awake, too.

There. He had made the decision, and it had only taken a moment. One innocent conversation.

Everything has been coming to this
, he told himself. It would have happened anyway. You know it. Don't think about it. Don't argue it.

It was Rue that filled his vision, Rue the reason, the excuse he needed to cross a line he had never dared cross, until now.

He knew what he had to do to escape.

He had to kill Frith.