The Humans (11 page)

Erik returns, guiding Momo back to her wheelchair. Deirdre helps. Momo is fine.

ERIK

. . . yeah, she's okay, she almost burnt herself on the stove, God . . .

DEIRDRE

You were more scared than she was, you okay? / You're okay, Mom . . .

ERIK

Yeah, I shouldn't have left her . . .

AIMEE

She's okay / . . . I'll clean up in here . . .

BRIGID

It's just some pots and pans, Dad, no worries . . .

Deirdre helps Erik with Momo. Erik gives her a pill.

RICHARD

We definitely owe you guys for that care-package, clearly we needed it.

ERIK

Yeah, you did, and cell-phone flashlights don't last long in a blackout. You gotta be prepared . . .

AIMEE

Because for me it doesn't carry special—hey I'm telling you what I think, I think it means the two of us were in New York on a terrible morning. / That's all . . .

ERIK

That's it?

DEIRDRE

Me too, they're not scary if you believe in some kinda God, / God doesn't make mistakes . . .

BRIGID

That, yeah, that wasn't my point, Sneaky—

AIMEE

All right, Momo's okay, yeah? / . . . that's what matters . . .

Erik kisses Momo.

BRIGID

So, should—should we bring her wheelchair to the table for dinner?

DEIRDRE

No, no she'll be sleeping soon . . .

BRIGID

Does the medicine make her sleep?—should you be—

ERIK

It just calms her down—we can bring her to the table, / see how she feels—

BRIGID

Yeah, don't knock her out / just because—

DEIRDRE

Hey, if you want to come home more and help control her tantrums then you can judge the way we care for her.

BRIGID

I'm not trying to judge you I just want—can't you hire someone / to help with—?

DEIRDRE

It'd cost a hundred bucks a night to hire someone to watch her,
a hundred bucks
to make sure she doesn't / fall and get hurt—

ERIK

Hey . . . okay—

DEIRDRE

No, she needs to think before she opens her mouth.

BRIGID

Sorry.

Erik attends to Momo. Brigid focuses her energy in the kitchen.

RICHARD

It's great—will everybody eat dark meat? / Or just—

AIMEE

We'll eat it all, Rich, / just send it our way . . .

ERIK

     
(This is a funny question)

Will we eat dark meat?

DEIRDRE

Yeah but—I will, Rich, I'm just . . . oh man, I'm just . . . I'm back on Weight Watchers / and man . . .

AIMEE

That's great, Mom . . .

DEIRDRE

. . . thanks, yeah . . . it's tough, one baby ice-cream cone takes up half my points for the day . . . same for a junior cheeseburger at Wendy's, it's tough staying on track.

BRIGID

Especially if you eat a bucket of ranch dip before dinner.

AIMEE

[Don't say stuff like that . . .]

Richard returns from the kitchen area, sets down final side dishes. He isn't aware of how wounded Deirdre is at this moment. Erik is also unaware as he arrives at the table. Momo is awake but doesn't seem very alert.

DEIRDRE

     
(To Brigid)

I'm, uh, not being careful with points today, / not on holidays . . .

RICHARD

. . . this is the last side dish, yeah? Think we're good to go— / are we ready . . . ?

AIMEE

Uh-huh . . . / let's eat . . .

ERIK

     
(Sitting down, gesturing for them to hold hands)

Okay . . . hands . . .

They bow their heads, hold hands for grace, a little less unified than before. Richard doesn't know the grace but participates in the hand-holding.

ERIK

Bless us oh Lord . . .

ERIK, AIMEE, BRIGID, DEIRDRE AND MOMO

. . . and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, amen.

They have all noticed that Momo joined in. They smile, thrilled.

ERIK

Did you / hear that?

ERIK

Is it crazy if we do it again? Just / one more time . . .

They all ad-lib “no” . . .

AIMEE

. . . no, go for it.

ERIK

     
(Smiling, holding their hands again)

Bless us oh Lord . . .

Momo joins in again.

ERIK, AIMEE, BRIGID, DEIRDRE AND MOMO

. . . and these Thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, amen.

This time they all spontaneously clap, Momo does too. They laugh at their impulse to applaud an old woman for saying grace.

ERIK

Mom, you remember Aimee and Brigid, these are your granddaughters . . .

Momo picks up the serving spoon in the sweet potatoes and is about to take a bite—Erik catches her in time, removes the serving spoon from her hand . . .

They start to eat, pass the food around the table.

ERIK

Wow, all looks great.

Everyone ad-libs agreement.

DEIRDRE

This looks good, what's this . . .

BRIGID

It's a rainbow chard salad, it's packed with nutrients . . . everything else is familiar, I think . . .

DEIRDRE

You guys did a great job . . .

Beat. They eat.

MOMO

Dig a hole shower.

They all laugh at the randomness of the remark.

ERIK

This is definitely not one of your better days, Mom . . . oh man, we, uh . . . we'll all be there some day, right? . . . / We love you so much, Mom . . .

They eat.

DEIRDRE

This turkey is so moist, / good job guys . . .

ERIK

Mm-hmm . . .

MOMO

Shower in holes.

They all stifle laughter, acknowledge the remark; it's funny, but also a little upsetting.

They eat.

Aimee starts laughing.

ERIK

What?

AIMEE

Momo's Christmas toast . . .

They all start laughing. Richard doesn't know what this inside joke is.

BRIGID

On Christmas, Momo—she always delivers a traditional Irish toast, it's ancient, right?

ERIK

It's ancient and it's beautiful, but one year Aimee's mind was in the gutter—

AIMEE

I was twelve!

BRIGID

And ever since, the blessing sounds kinda dirty to us—

RICHARD

What's the blessing?

AIMEE

“May the Virgin and her Child lift your latch on Christmas night.”

Some wine dribbles out of Richard's mouth; he wasn't expecting to find it that funny.

ERIK

We
get
it we just don't agree . . .

DEIRDRE

. . . I first thought latch-lifting was a kinda sexual position . . .

RICHARD

I'm steering clear of this conversation . . .

ERIK

     
(To Richard)

It's
real
meaning is beautiful—it's old Irish custom to leave the door unbolted and a candle in the window for Mary on her way to Bethlehem.

AIMEE

Well, it's premature, but . . . in honor of you, Momo . . .

     
(A toast, struggling not to laugh)

May the Virgin and her Child lift all of your latches . . .

They all ad-lib “cheers,” “amen,” “here here,” etc. . . . Erik lovingly disapproves of Aimee's joke, notices Momo's a bit dazed, her neck is not at a comfortable angle.

ERIK

Okay, this isn't gonna [work]—she's gonna be dozing off soon, / lemme get her settled—

DEIRDRE

Want me to—

ERIK

—no I got it, I got it . . . keep eating guys . . .

Erik wheels Momo back to the couch, gets her settled there.

DEIRDRE

Where's your family, Rich? They upset we stole you away?

RICHARD

Oh, they're good, thanks. My dad's in L.A. and my mom's on the Cape now.

DEIRDRE

What cape?

BRIGID

Cape Horn, Mom—you know he's from / Massachusetts—

AIMEE

Hey, hey . . . it's not a dumb / question . . .

BRIGID

Cape
Cod
, sorry . . . I'm sorry.

Small beat.

DEIRDRE

What's your mom do, Rich?

RICHARD

She's a therapist . . . / she works from home . . . yeah . . .