The House (26 page)

He stormed out
of the room indignantly, leaving me to pick myself up again, slowly
this time. I used the door handle as a lever and the wall for
support then began across the hall. The level of noise in my head
spiked and I almost fell as I approached the stairs but I caught
myself. I had to pause to wait for the voices to resume their
background chatter and stop shouting in my head before continuing.
I was beginning to pick up words here and there, thoughts and
feelings that were completely irrelevant to me.

I finally made
it to the kitchen. It had taken another gargantuan effort but I
made it and I needed food. Maybe that was the cause of my weakness.
I hadn’t thought about food; too much had been going on and I’d
spent so much time passed out that I had missed a lot of meals. Not
good but there were leftovers in the fridge. I pulled out lasagne
and stuck it in the microwave before starting on the salad. Two
slices of toast smothered in peanut butter were the plan to top off
my meal.

By the time I
was halfway through the lasagne Eddie walked in and did a double
take at the amount of food in front of me. I’d gone a little
overboard but as soon as I’d started eating I’d realised I was
ravenous and couldn’t stop. I’d gotten through four slices of toast
and a bowl of cereal before the lasagne was ready.

“What?” I
asked between mouthfuls, I felt so much better with food in my
stomach. The constant noise in my head had reduced from a roar to a
whisper and I didn’t feel like I was about to collapse anymore. My
legs felt strong again.

“How can you
eat so much?”

“How can you
not?” Food was a huge part of our existence. We seemed to spend
half our time eating, especially as the full moon drew nearer. More
power means we burn more energy and actually shifting normally
takes it out of a shifter completely. I don’t normally need to
sleep after shifting like some do but I do need to eat more. Food
also put me in a much better mood. If I had been a mortal human I
would have been enormous. Food was comfort to me; it was the sense
of home.

“I’d be sick,”
Eddie replied. I’d almost forgotten he was there in my
astonishment.

“No, you
wouldn’t. You need a lot of food. No wonder you have problems.”

“Nobody eats
that much ...” he started.

“Normal
everyday mortals don’t eat this much, but supernaturals like us? We
have to; the magic burns off all your energy. No wonder you can’t
access it properly, it’s like your body has put you into starvation
mode.” I studied him. When I’d first seen him he had looked good,
healthy. Now I noticed the little things like the fact that his
cheeks were starting to hollow and his jeans, which were already
small, were baggy on him. He was muscled, masking the effects, but
I could see there wasn’t an ounce of spare flesh on him.

He wasn’t
muscular ‘big’ either – he had definition because of manual labour
and no fat – but I had the feeling he’d been getting gradually
smaller since his change. It’s easy to ignore, to not realise that
a pound a month makes a difference. It’s only a pound and you
always feel you have plenty more to accommodate. But after years?
That kind of malnutrition makes itself known eventually.

“So you admit
it. We’re not human any more, we’re not normal…”

“I said we’re
not mortal, I said nothing about human. Our gene sequence is human;
they’ve done it, proved it. Over. Now sit and eat or Marie will
kill me for not feeding you properly,” I smiled. It was much easier
to believe that Marie would be alright now that I had some energy.
So much easier to look on everything and think ‘it’s all going to
get better...’ and that thoughts of death and pain were silly and
unfounded. Marie would be fine; we would find her healthy and sound
and she would come home to us, to me.

Eddie sat and
I pushed the salad bowl towards him and motioned him to the fridge.
I don’t share my food, I just don’t; he could get his own. He just
looked at me and began picking at the salad. “Don’t we need like
... a lot of protein or something?” he mumbled, but of course I
heard him.

“We need more
of everything. Your body burns through a lot of energy but also
needs more vitamins. Balance, as they say, is best. But you do need
more carbs than a normal person would – don’t worry, you won’t get
fat. Trust me, I know people who’ve tried,” I laughed. It felt so
good to laugh, like I hadn’t laughed in an age. It had only been a
few days, but it had been some of the longest few days of my life.
Even with all the sleeping.

Eddie actually
smiled; it lit up his whole face for just a moment before he caught
it. At least he got up and went to search the fridge for more food,
pulling out a packet of mince and an onion that he proceeded to
chop up and fry. It had never occurred to me that he might cook. I
eat when I’m hungry and I don’t like to wait longer than it takes
to throw something together.

“So you’ve
never eaten properly?” I asked.

“No.” He was
back to being snappy, which was fine because the voices in my head
were down to a dull background noise that I could ignore
effectively. I attacked my food again then started on the washing
up before Eddie had even finished cooking, which is why I don’t
cook properly.

I left quickly
before his good mood could sour fully again and made my way through
to the TV room. I had intended to watch a film but looking through
the cupboard shelves I couldn’t find a single one that I wanted to
see. I was too worried; we hadn’t found any information on Marie or
Shayana. It wasn’t a good sign. The happy buzz from my infusion of
good food was already wearing off.

“You’re
worried about them.” Eddie was stood in the doorway; I had zoned
out long enough for him to have finished cooking, although he still
had his meal on a plate.

“There’s no
food in here,” I said automatically, then smiled. We had never
really observed the rule, a left over remnant from when Marie’s
parents had run the house. “It’s alright. I always bring mine in
here,” I said. Normally when the kitchen was full but, hey, since
there was nobody around I could understand him wanting some
company. He just nodded and sat in the seat furthest from me, maybe
he didn’t want company.

“Why did you
come here really?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself; I was sick of
wondering amongst everything else. “You don’t seem to want our help
or advice, so what could possibly have driven you to our door?”

“I was told
that this was a safe place, that everyone was welcome here.”

“It is and
everyone is welcome but we defend our own. If you are here to harm
anyone remember that you will face all of us.” There was a thread
of anger in my voice now, not because he deserved it but because I
felt helpless and I hated it. The anger was easier to deal
with.

“I came
because the humans do not want someone like me.” I thought he was
about to leave but he just stood up and walked closer. “You have no
idea what has driven me to this.”

“Then let me
see,” I said simply. He just looked at me in a way that said he
didn’t have a clue what I was on about. “I have seen flashes of
your past, enough to know that you have seen torment but nothing
compared to that which I have seen, done, endured. Do not think to
stand there in your superiority. I have told you before, we have
all lived hard lives.” I didn’t stop to think that I sounded
ridiculously old- fashioned in my speech; I just levelled a hard
look at him. The one that had inspired fear in more than one
prisoner in my own history. But perhaps it had been the sight of
such a look on a mere teenager at the time. Of course, Eddie wasn’t
currently at my mercy and I didn’t have Jalas beside me so the
effect was rather diluted on him.

“You have seen
my past…”

“I have seen
your memories; I am an empath and a telepath. I can see only
through your eyes,” I replied. I sounded like I was talking in
riddles but magic is rarely easy to explain. Often the most sense
came when we spoke in riddles and questions, or maybe that’s just
what we were conditioned to do.

“So you can
see my heart and I cannot see yours?” he asked, outrage colouring
his voice.

“You want to
see my past? Fine,” I growled; my throat had changed enough that it
was a true growl. I was beyond reason then and a reasonable person
would have walked away. I, on the other hand, took all of my fear
and rage and poured it into my power. It pulled my throat back to
human but fuelled the other magic within me.

I surrounded
myself with memories; good, bad, everything in images, sounds,
feelings. Then I grabbed Eddie’s hand and did the equivalent of
throw him head first into the memories. I saw each as it rushed
past, all in chronological order thankfully. Running through our
wooded garden with my mother, both of us as lions. Flames.
Screaming. The Covenant. Working in the dungeons; the screams of
terror as the prisoners caught sight of me and Jalas. The sight of
Jalas above me. My grandfather’s face when I left. Marie holding
me. Marie shouting after Stripes as she raced out the door. The
terror of the vampyre attack and seeing the hunter. The rush as I
found myself thrown into Eddie’s memories followed by the panic
when I realised I had no control.

I released him
and with that loss of touch the memories faded before he could see
how far I’d seen into him. I had felt his horror and revulsion
through all of it. It was written all over his face then, clear as
day as he backed away towards the door. I shouldn’t have done it;
it was cruel and unnecessary but I’d been so sick of him always
believing he had the worst end of the stick.

“You really
did all of those things...you tortured those people.” Of course
that was what he picked up on. Not the horror of watching my
parent’s murder, not the joy of shifting, but that. The very worst
of what I had done I hadn’t shown him, just a vague impression. I
also hadn’t meant to let him see a flash of Jalas and me together.
If I’d had to choose a lover to tell him about, it would not have
been Jalas.

“Yes, I really
did all of those things to people who broke our law. They knew
their fate.” I was defending myself when I didn’t need to, didn’t
even want to, but it had been my mistake to show him my past.
“That’s how our world works...get used to it.”

“It surprised
me. You go on about helping people and how gentle Marie is.”

“Exactly. I said Marie.
I
never claimed to be gentle. I never claimed to be
perfect. Nobody does.” I turned to leave. It had been a mistake,
one that I would never repeat.

“I didn’t say
you did, I just wouldn’t have expected that level of violence. That
was the vampyre that was at the Covenant wasn’t it?”

“Yes, and yes
he still works as the Covenant torturer as he has for hundreds of
years.” I got all the way to the door before he reached to stop me.
I moved out of the way so fast the he wouldn’t have seen me move
but he didn’t show it.

“I mean that
I’ve had violence, done violence…”

“I know,” I
said. I’d seen as much. “But your violence centres around anger and
pent up frustration. The violence in my life was
calculated...planned...cold.”

“Is there
really so much difference?”

“Yes. You
regret doing the things you did, I do not. You let everything hold
back your true potential.”

A loud crash
from the back garden distracted me from what might have been the
conversation to get through to Eddie, but I knew better than to
really hope for that. I was out the door before Eddie had even
gotten to his feet. Shifters did not make that much noise unless
something had gone very wrong.

Supported by
Hercules and Catherine, James was stood by the tree line and for a
second I thought he was dead. He staggered once then fell to the
ground and I ran faster than I ever remember running. There was
blood streaming from his head but I couldn’t tell how badly he was
cut. Closer to, I could tell that his clothes were soaked with
blood as well. Fear ignited in me, crowding out all other thoughts.
What could do that to our James, the closest man to a warrior we
had?

“Stripes...they took Stripes.” Then he collapsed completely.

Hercules
hoisted James into a fireman’s lift and we trooped inside, me and
Catherine with our hands fluttering around James to make sure he
didn’t fall. Worry permeated through every part of me; Stripes had
been taken. We were going backwards not forwards in trying to find
Marie and Shayana. We were losing people.

Hercules put
James on the kitchen table while Catherine fetched the first aid
kit from the cupboard. We were running short on bandages.

The bleeding
had almost stopped on its own. Not all of it was James’ blood – at
least we didn’t think it was. There was no way one person could
bleed quite so much and still be conscious. Of course, we weren’t
normal people. He had at least two broken ribs and half of his left
collarbone was completely shattered. His arms and legs were badly
bruised, together with what we thought was a fracture in his right
wrist and his right kneecap swollen to almost twice the size of his
left.

His face was
bruised but the cuts had all healed over and once we cleaned away
the blood he looked slightly better. There was a worrying amount of
blood seeming to have come from his temple but he was still alive
so we took solace in that. If he’d been human there would have been
no chance that he would have survived. Which left us with two
options: either they knew what he was and that he could survive
such a beating, or they didn’t know and had left him for dead.

They had to
know; I refused to believe that anyone would have done this to
someone if they didn’t know. That anyone could have done this to
James was beyond me. He knew how to fight; he was the hunter of
hunters. Someone who knew our secrets was targeting us and we had
no idea why. Then I realised that they could know what we were and
still have left him for dead. It wasn’t every shifter who could
survive such a beating. James didn’t heal as fast as Hercules but
he was still very powerful.