The House (23 page)

“I’ll give you and Brad money,” Anna said.

“And we wouldn’t take it.” Again Linda reached over, and this time patted Anna’s knee.

“I don’t want you fighting David on my account.”

“He needs to calm down,” Linda said.

“There’ll be time for that after your father’s gone.” Anna grasped her temples. “I can’t believe I spoke to your father like that in front of all of you.” She covered her face.

Linda embraced her. “This is family. And we’re all adults.” Linda brushed Anna’s neck like Anna had done with her on so many occasions when she had been unable to hold a clear perspective on life, and accept the love Anna held for her.

Anna said, “My behavior last evening was atrocious.”

“You were hurting and confused.”

“That’s what I used to say to you.” Anna recalled how she had comforted Linda in the weeks and months after each of Linda’s three attempts to end her life. “I was always afraid you’d succeed, and that we’d lose you,” Anna said. “I don’t know what I would have done.” She began to cry.

Again Linda drew Anna into her chest. Anna let go of her emotions and wept like a child. When she was calmer, Linda cupped her palms around Anna’s face. “You don’t have to worry about that now. I’m okay. And so is my baby.” A peaceful smile enveloped Linda’s sienna face. “You were there when I couldn’t be present for myself.”

“You were that way because your father was unfaithful,” Anna said. “And I was trying to act as if nothing was going on.”

“You were there.” Linda shook her shoulders. “That’s all that matters. Even Dad says so.” Anna looked down at the cement surface of the patio. “We counted on you, and you never let us down,”

Linda said. “And when Dad’s gone, we won’t let you down. Not me, Brad, or Theo. That includes David and Serine. You’re stuck with us.”

“That’s what frightens me.” A smile formed on Anna’s lips despite her fears. With thanks and praise, she envisioned through her wash of tears, the young and beautiful woman her elder daughter had become. Again Linda pulled her close. Anna laid her head on Linda’s shoulder and wept some more.?

Chapter 32

Anna was on the patio when Theo came to her.

“Dad told us to leave,” Theo said. “He doesn’t want us to re member him this way. He also said he wants time with you.”

“Time with me?” Anna laid her pen on the glass table and stared at it. She was making a list of things she needed to attend to in preparation for Edward’s death. She also had yet to open the folder Bryce had given her detailing Manning Ventures and its assets. Theo touched her shoulder. She stroked his arm.

“Brad and Linda are packed and ready,” Theo said. “They want to say goodbye.”

Anna rose and went to them in the driveway where they wait ed. She hugged both Linda and Brad several times, not wanting to them to leave.

“Promise you’ll call the minute you or Edward needed anything,” Brad urged as he helped Linda into the car.

“I will.”

After helping Linda into the car, Brad got into the driver’s seat and they headed off. Anna continued waving until the sedan disappeared at the end of the block.

Minutes later she hugged Theo. He lingered longer than what Anna was comfortable with.

“You need to go.” She kissed him.

“I love you, Mom.” Theo embraced her then after placing his bags on the front seat of the rental car, he got into the driver’s seat, and turned on the ignition. “I’m just a phone call away.”

“I love you, too.” Anna mouthed the words and stepped away from the sedan. Theo backed out of the driveway and started off. Again, she waved until she could no longer see the car.

Anna returned to the house and set about removing sheets from the beds. She was in the laundry room upstairs, removing shirts from the dryer, and folding them when Edward stepped inside.

“Seems like old times,” he said.

“Are you hungry?”

“Time’s out for that.” Ignoring her question, he gave a half smile. “The kids are adults and gone.”

Anna looked at Edward’s dress shirts that she had neatly folded. “My mother used to starch and press my father’s shirts every Saturday night,” she said. “It’s the one thing she seemed to freely give him. She said there was an art to it.” Anna added, “Folding clothes calms me.”

“And so does giving.” Edward drew close then of the art on which Anna’s mother had pontificated her ideal, he said. “I never was much for having you iron.” Edward had always taken his shirts to the cleaners. “I always liked the way you packed them in the back, right-hand corner of my suitcase.” He lifted a white shirt from the pile on the dryer. “You never let them get tattered.”

“I got rid of them and bought you new ones.” Anna stared at the shirt Edward was examining. She had bought it on a whim as a gift to welcome him home. As always, his arrival brought drama. He arrived home early only to leave again, so Anna never presented him the shirt. She began to wear the shirt when he was away. The white shirt became her robe of mourning worn during his absence. Anna mused on the shirt as it had been when first purchased, pristine and white like the nightgown Elijah had bought for Elena a few days before she died.
Naive and untainted
, Anna thought, just like she had been when agreeing to marry Edward.

Edward’s eyes retreated against Anna, treading the emotional waters wrought by his absences too numerous to count.

“I wish we could have spent more time together and gotten to know each other better.” His words startled Anna. “You’re better than I could ever be,” he said. “I’ve ruined your life.”

“You give yourself too much credit.” Anna slammed shut the door to the dryer, and lifted the pile of folded towels and shirts. She left the laundry room and headed for Theo’s room. Edward followed.

“I’m not trying to be difficult,” he said.

“Well you are.”

“I’m dying. How much more difficult can I make it for you?” She whipped around. “By saying the very thing I’ve fought against acknowledging throughout this entire marriage.”

“I’ve been a bad husband, unfaithful more times and in more ways than I can count.”

“I don’t have to be reminded of that.” Anna gritted her teeth. “You’re the last person I need telling me what a big mistake I made in marrying you. Mama warned me. Elise warned me. I warned myself.”

“Why didn’t you listen?”

“Because I loved you,” Anna said.

“Why?”

“And why are we talking about this now?”

“I’ve lived my life according to my own laws, the best I could make of those laid down before me. Now, a new set of rules has taken over,” Edward said.

“Those rules, the ones you call new, have always been. You just chose to ignore them.”

“I don’t want to do that anymore. I can’t.” Edward’s words shocked and surprised her yet again. “My life has been a lie. I want to set it straight. Now.”

“And you think giving me your company does that?” Anna said. Edward’s eyes blared red. A misty film overtook them. “I know nothing about running a company. David thinks I’m incapable of managing it, and believes I’m a horrible wife for wanting to divorce you. The way he speaks to me leaves little hope that he’s any better with Heather as a husband than the one you were with me.

“Oh, and by the way, he’s told me that he and Heather haven’t slept together in a year. As for Theo, it seems he’s married to a female replica of you. And we won’t even go into Serine and the mess she’s about to make of her life.” A burning sensation swept across Anna’s cheeks and engulfed her ears. “This is what the
truth
, or as you say,
lie
, of your life has wrought.”

With his weakness apparent, even in the darkness surrounding the patio last night, she again refused to take in Edward’s withered body covered in a brown and white striped bathrobe. She wanted to knock the ankle socks from his feet, push him to the floor, and scream into his face, “How could you do this to us?” The anger had returned. Yet, it could not satiate her need to know. She felt empty, culled, and hollowed out. Anna desired Edward and wanted to hold his soul, massage his body, and never let him go. She would take back what he had robbed her of, what death now sought to claim, and what he would fight in these last days to create between them, but ... “I’m doing the best I can,” Edward said.

“Well it’s not good enough.” Anna began speaking the thoughts she had bottled inside for so long. “Where’s the Edward Manning that could fly across the globe and carry out a deal that would make money for all concerned? Where’s the Edward Manning with his goals and the tunnel vision of his one-track mind toward achieving them? Where’s the Edward G. Manning that I glimpsed only in between trips home? Where’s the man your whores saw more than me?”

“He’s right here,” Edward said wearily. “This is what he’s come to. This is what has become of me, the person I was, and have always been. They’re one in the same.”

“I don’t believe that. The person I see before me is considerate. He acts with a rational mind. He’s weak and afraid and says so. He does not lie or hold back. The person that you were never gave way to his feelings. The Edward Manning I know would never give away his company.”

“That person died a year and half ago when his wife asked for a divorce.”

“You’re not about to tell me that I caused your cancer. I won’t have it.” Anna shook her head.

“My sickness was there long before you asked for the divorce,” Ed ward said. “I won’t have you blaming yourself. You’re not the cause.”

“Then why are you doing this to me? Why are you saying these things?” Anna placed her palm over her trembling lips.

“Stop defending.” The energy of the old Edward flickered amid the tiredness of his amber eyes. “I was wrong. And I’m paying for it.”

“Is that what you think?” Anna was shaking. “This is not what I wanted.”

Edward drew near, and embraced her. Carefully he placed her head upon his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Slowly he began to cry.

“Oh, my God,” Anna whimpered. Her body shook more, stronger, harder. Edward was trembling too. She was overcome with grief in being vindicated. Edward was dying and like her, he was also scared. He was the person who had to go forward. Anna felt slivers of Edward’s demise encroaching. Death was summoning him, not Anna, and yet she was dying too.

She dropped to the floor; Edward joined her. Tides of pity and confusion rolled through her, wave after horrible wave, a mix of emotions to which she could give no name. Anna wanted to both hold Edward and slap him.

“Forgive me,” he whispered. “How much I would live my life differently, if I had the chance.”

“Why didn’t you do it this way the first time?” Anna whimpered. She searched his eyes. “I need to know. More than that company you’ve given me, I need to know to
why
.”

“It wasn’t anything you did.”

“I gave you thirty-three years of my life. You weren’t there even half the time, and in the other half, we couldn’t connect,” Anna said. Edward’s eyes brimmed with pain and fury.
I’m lost and scared
, they seemed to say. “I loved you,” she continued. “I need to know who that person was. Where’s the person I married who then walked away from me?” Anna demanded. “I need to know so that if I see him in the next life, I’ll not stop and listen.”

“No, don’t avoid me.” Edward pleaded.” I’ll change, do what I couldn’t in life. I’ll make myself right in death. Give me one more chance, so that if we meet in the next life...”

“Oh Edward,” Anna moaned, her face wet, she sobbing and Ed ward holding her close. He kissed her.

“Make love to me,” Anna said.

“If only I could.” But Edward was weak. She felt him slipping away. His gaze receded.

“Then let me love you.” ?

Chapter 33

Anna and Edward went through the following days as if the argument and their love-making had resulted from Edward’s return from a prolonged trip during which Anna, much aggrieve, had desired him. The thought that he would now leave only when death enforced its grip gave her pause. Each time they sat to eat, she reminded herself of this certainty amid uncertainty
. How would it be when the time came?

Anna had not been present when her mother died. She had stayed away from the hospital to protect the child she had been carrying, and, as Anna now realized, herself.

She had said to Edward, “I don’t want to see my mother like this. She’s dying.”

“Then, don’t go.” Edward had said. He had not been present when his mother died of pneumonia while in a rehabilitation hospital for drug addicts.

“But I love my mother,” Anna had said.

“And I loved mine.” Edward had placed Violet in the rehab center during one of his extreme and futile efforts to save what had been lost before he was born. He lifted the bottle of beer to his lips as he sat at the kitchen table, and continued reading the newspaper.

Anna walked to him. “Don’t you care that my mother is dying?” She sat at the table.

“The point is whether
you
care.”

“I do.”