The Hot Floor (25 page)

“Right, then,” Stella began. “I’d like to call to order the inaugural meeting of the Walcot Terrace Tenants Association.”

Denise cheered, and Vern groaned.

“I should go,” Cliff said, making to stand up.

“Oh no, you don’t. We all need to be here.” Denise grabbed his arm and pulled him back down again.

“But I’m not a tenant! I own my flat.”

“All the more reason to be here. You have a vested interest in the building.” And I swear, there was a glint in Denise’s eyes when she heard Cliff was a man with property. Poor bloke. He wouldn’t stand a chance if she set her sights on him. She was like a bulldozer in makeup and heels, crushing all opposition.

“Now, then, we all have a vested interest if we’re planning on staying here for any length of time,” Stella lectured.

I felt Rai shift next to me like he had the fidgets. He was staring at Evan, and there was some kind of discussion going on that I knew I wasn’t a part of. Whatever Rai was asking with those anxious eyes, Evan didn’t seem able to reassure him.

“Item one…” Stella peered at her cloth-bound notebook. “What does that say? Oh yes, the matter of young Josh’s bathroom, which has somehow ended up a floor below where it should be. This is completely unacceptable, but has there been any work done to rectify the matter?” She looked around as if challenging us all. “I don’t think so. Clearly, Mr. Gregson is trying to cut corners and delay the work for as long as he can. Josh, do you have anything in writing from him?”

“In writing? He hasn’t even answered my phone calls.”

“Then it’s quite clear what we need to do in this case. He’s in violation of the Housing Act, and you have every right to withhold your rent until he provides you with a functioning bathroom.”

“But then he’ll kick me out. I don’t want to end up on the streets.”

“I’m sure that wouldn’t happen. Not when you have such good friends in the building.” Stella included Denise in her sweep of the room, but she lingered on Rai and Evan. Evan stared back blankly, but Rai’s leg began bouncing up and down like crazy. I wanted to rest a hand on it, to get him to calm down, but I couldn’t. Not when everyone would see and no doubt draw exactly the right conclusion.

“What about you two?” Stella asked, looking directly at Evan. “You could withhold your rent. I’m sure your bathroom must have suffered too.”

“I suppose,” Evan said, like she’d dragged the words out of him.

“Oh, come on now, you have a big hole in your ceiling. You can at least put it in writing that you’ll be withholding the rent until it’s mended. I’m not going to pay any until he sends in an electrician to get my oven working again. If we all band together, he can’t kick us all out.”

“It’s not that simple,” Evan said over the mutterings from the group on the sofa.

“It most certainly is. When you’re dealing with a tight-fisted bastard, you have to strike them where it hurts the most. In Mr. Gregson’s case, that would have to be his wallet.”

“But we’re already… Shite!” Evan exclaimed, but not at anyone in particular, it would seem. He set his jaw and stared at Rai. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to tell him now.”

Rai bit his lower lip, nodded, and then grabbed hold of my hand so tight he cut off the circulation to my fingers.

“Rai!” I hissed, trying to pull away, but he wasn’t letting go. In the end, I decided I was only drawing attention to the fact, and it wasn’t as if everyone hadn’t already seen. I glanced around quickly.

Every single pair of eyes in the room was fixed on me.

Oh, bollocks.

My head went all woozy with the rush of blood to my skin, and Evan’s words came as if down a long, echoey tunnel.

“We wanted to tell you this last night, Josh. We had it all planned, but then things went tits up.” Evan scratched the back of his head and frowned. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, but me and Rai… We can’t go withholding rent because we’re planning to hand in our notice. We’re buying a house. Went to see one yesterday. It’s only a small place, but it’s a nice one. Hell of a lot nicer than this shitehole, anyway.”

Evan’s words faded under the rush of blood in my ears. My stomach lurched, and something inside me shattered, leaving a cold hollow where my heart should have been.

They were moving. They’d bought a house together. The two of them. Without me.

I had to get out.

I shook Rai off my arm and stumbled to my feet.

Voices called out. Furniture reared up to attack me, but I made it. Made it to the door. Outside. Running.

Round the corner, over the bridge. I needed a hiding place.

I ducked my head down going past the new shop, but there was no need. It was empty. Locked up.

I had the keys.

A moment’s shaky-handed fumbling, and I was in. Down the stairs, down to the bottom. No one would find me here. Just me, the river outside and a pile of boxes.

Just me.

Story of my life.

The room blurred. I flung myself down on the hard floor and sobbed.

Chapter Twenty-One

The last thing I expected when I lifted my head above the level of the boxes was to see Rai and Evan peering in at me through the glass doors. No one should have been able to get there. Not with the access gate closed.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t thought to check Liam and Shannon had shut the gate behind them.

Rai’s hands were clasped in front of him like he was praying, and Evan had his held wide, imploring. They stood on the wooden deck. Was I imagining them? Conjuring up some tear-sodden remnant of my dreams for us to be a proper triad, not just a couple and their disposable lover?

I rose and went to unlock the doors. Arms enfolded me, bodies hugging tight from two directions.

“Why didn’t you stick around and listen, chuck?” Evan asked me softly as Rai burrowed his head into my neck and babbled about how I was never, ever to go running off like that again as his heart couldn’t take it.

“Listen to what?” I croaked, then sniffed. I hate crying. Hate it. Turns me into a pathetic, puffy-eyed, snotty-nosed spectacle every time. That’s why I only ever do it alone.

“To what we had to say. About the house,” Evan clarified.

“About us,” Rai added.

“Yeah, about us. We weren’t hiding it from you. We’d been waiting to get some legal advice before we asked. We wanted to be sure, first. This is a huge step for us. For anyone.”

“Buying a house?” I know they said it was one of life’s most stressful ordeals, but reckon it paled into nothingness compared to getting dumped by the two guys you loved. “Let go of me.”

“Not yet. There’s more. Come on, Josh. Let us have our say, please?”

The desperate tone in Evan’s usually calm voice stopped my struggles to get free. “Say your piece, then.” I gritted my teeth, waiting for the worst. Well, it couldn’t get a lot worse, could it? They were moving on without me, that much was clear.

“Rai? Do you want to do this?” Evan asked.

Rai squeezed me tight around the waist and raised his head from where it had been resting on my shoulder.

“We want you to move in with us.”

“Move in?”

“Yes, but properly this time. We want you to be an equal part of our relationship. We want you to come look at the place with us, decide if it’s where you want to live. We want to put you down on the mortgage application, if you’re willing.”

I looked from one earnest face to the other, stunned.

“It’s okay if you need time to think it through,” Evan said. “We understand, but we wanted you to know how special you are to us. That we—we’re…”

“We’re both falling in love with you,” Rai finished. “Already are, if we’re being honest.”

I stared some more. I tried to make my mouth work, but no sound came out. A fizzy feeling bubbled inside my heart, surged down my arteries and spread to every part of my body.

“It’s okay,” Evan said. “We don’t need you to say it back. We don’t say it much anyway, not even to each other. We just… We wondered if you think there’s a chance you might get to feel the same way about us, given time?”

Rai nodded, his face deadly serious.

I wanted to put a smile on both their faces so badly. Could I do it? Could I call up those words I’d been hiding away inside me? I took a deep breath, then let the air shudder out. Rai squeezed me tight, then started to let go. I didn’t want that. I needed to borrow their strength. I could do it, with the two of them.

“I don’t need time. I know what I want. I want…”

They both stared. The moment drew out forever, all of us holding our breath, but I felt their strength flowing into me from every place our bodies touched.

“I want you both. Love you both.” I felt my skin flush with heat, but this time, I was okay with it. Didn’t matter if these two saw me vulnerable. Not if they loved me. “Have done for ages, actually.”

Evan’s breath rushed out in a whoosh of air. “Well, why didn’t you say summat earlier? Jesus Christ! There was us thinking you didn’t want a long-term commitment, and you say you loved us all along? The amount of worry you’ve caused—”

“Ev, it’s not his fault.” Rai reached up and pulled my head down. Our lips brushed, chaste yet tender. I wondered if I tasted like salt.

“Fuck!” Evan exclaimed. “I’m sorry, Josh. I’m sorry.” His lips landed on mine, a firmer kiss than Rai’s. Possessive, almost. A shiver of desire thrilled through me, even as my dazed mind tried to make sense of what was happening.

“It’s okay,” I said, because that’s what you say when your lover apologises. And I realised it would be okay. More than okay, if I could just open up to them and ask for what I needed.

“I just…” Evan gazed at me as if searching for all the secrets I’d hidden in plain sight. “I need you to talk to me. We need you to talk to us. About what you want out of this. Us.”

With them holding me up, holding me strong, perhaps I could. I didn’t have to be shameless and brazen. They’d understand my blushes. “I want you to include me in everything, even if I don’t say all that much. I want to hear about it.”

“We will,” Rai said, and Evan nodded.

“And I know you’ve been holding back. With…with the sex. I want you both to take charge of me. To tell me what you want, no matter how kinky.”

There was an uneasy glance between the two of them. Eventually, Evan spoke. “We’d rather you ask for what you want. We don’t want to manipulate you into doing owt if you’re not sure about it.”

“You won’t! Just trust me, all right?” The words echoed in the empty room. Evan’s eyes went wide. “I’ll tell you if I don’t want to do something, I promise. I’m just not any good at asking for stuff like that. I need you two to initiate it. At least for now.”

“We could do that, couldn’t we?” Rai asked Evan. “I’ve got loads of ideas of things I’d love to do to Josh. Or have him do to us.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to end up like your ex.”

“You’re nothing like the man. Absolutely nothing like him. End of story. It hasn’t worked out like that between us, has it?”

“But Josh is…” Evan gave me an apologetic look. “He’s so much more passive than you are, love.”

“That’s just his thing, and it’s okay. It doesn’t make him a doormat. He’s strong inside. If you’re worried about topping Josh in a scene, then you can always let me be in charge.”

Evan paused for a moment, giving Rai a searching look. “He brings out your dominant side, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he does. And I love him for it.” Rai gave me a smile filled with such joy, my heart blew up like a bubble of glass, light and filled with beauty. “And I love you for caring so much about him too.”

The two of them held eye contact until my heartbeat calmed. Evan nodded, just once, and looked straight into my eyes. “All right, then. If that’s what you both need, then that’s what you get. But you also get a safe word. And my guarantee that if you use it, everything stops, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Okay, pet?”

“Oh, most definitely.” Rai’s tone warmed with promise, and a hand slid under the waistband of my shorts. “You know what? I’ve always wondered what it would be like to get down on my knees and give head to two guys at once in an empty glass workshop. You ever wondered about doing that, Josh?”

He grinned, Evan groaned, and I blushed.

“First one on his knees gets first go!” Rai shouted, already dropping to the floor.

What the hell? I’d get my chance. I smiled at Evan and let him kiss all my worry away.

Eight weeks later…

I knelt on the rug in our new living room, waiting for one of them to approach. It was such sweet torture, watching my naked boyfriends kissing and grinding against each other, knowing that I couldn’t move to join them. Not when I was hogtied like this.

September sun slanted in through the window, through the leaves of spider plants and the small glass owl on the mantelpiece. Rai had given it pride of place in our half-furnished room. We had no need to draw the curtains as the back of the house wasn’t overlooked, and the only neighbour we shared walls with was half-deaf anyway.