The Honeywood Files (25 page)

The £300 contingencies you mention, is not available for extra work of this kind. It is to cover the contract work—that is to say to pay for work which may be found necessary but which is not described in the contract because it may not be. Part, at least, of this sum has been spent. If there is any left unexpended, it will, of course, be credited in the final statement of account.

I have written a tactful letter to Nibnose & Rasper letting them know you do not now intend to go on with the cottages. As you remember, they agreed to cancel their previous contract on the understanding they should tender, against Grigblay only, to the new design I was preparing; but I hope they will not make any trouble.

With kind regards,

Yours sincerely,

SPINLOVE TO NIBNOSE & RASPER

Dear Sirs, 28.11.25.

My client desires me to present you with his best compliments and inform you with his profound regrets that he has now decided not to build the cottages for which you were so obliging as to consent to submit a tender. Sir Leslie Brash asks me to tell you that he looks forward on some future occasion to the pleasure of availing himself of your services.

Yours faithfully,

If this suave and buttery letter is Spinlove’s idea of a tactful one, he has much to learn. It not only reeks of insincerity, but is intolerably condescending in tone and would be likely to give offence to anyone and under any circumstances. “Nibrasp” will perfectly understand that the purpose of it is to disarm their claim to compensation, and as the firm has already, in its own opinion, been unfairly deprived of the contract for the house, anything more provocative and inflaming could scarcely be devised. Spinlove ought to have written somewhat as follows: “An unfortunate thing has happened. My client has an opportunity of buying cottages close at hand so that there is now no reason for him to build. I am afraid you have been put to a good deal of trouble and Sir Leslie Brash is sorry for this and will bear it in mind, and hopes to be able to make use of your services on a future occasion.”

BRASH TO SPINLOVE

Dear Mr. Spinlove, 29.11.25.

I am glad to be in a condition to intimate that I am now emancipated to freedom from the dental surgeon’s sanctum—though still unable to make spectacular public appearances.

I am naturally disappointed to be apprised that our occupation of the house at Christmas is not practicably feasible. Christmas Day eventuates precisely fourteen days subsequently to the contract date of completion. I advisedly apprehended that certain extra days would be allowed to Mr. Grigblay to perform his undertaking, but six weeks is surely a very excessive apportionment of latitude? It is, of course, in your hands to see that Mr. Grigblay is kept informed of his obligations, but I desire that you will intimate to him that I consider his procrastination beyond what is reasonably to be anticipated, and that I shall certainly not feel inclined to remit any proportion of the sums which may become due to me as penalties for delay.

I note your remarks anent the lifting of the drawing-room floor. I do not precisely apprehend the full interpretation of your remarks as I am not in a condition to immediately make the public appearance involved by the journey to the site, but I am prepared to accept your views, although they do not favour my ideas, as the amount of the anticipated estimate is altogether more than I can contemplate.

As regards the “contingencies,” I apprehend that the money is mine and that I am, therefore, at liberty to spend it as I choose—however it is not necessary to deviate upon that eventuality. The mansion certainly more than satisfies our anticipations. I look forward shortly to viewing the experimental lettering on doors.

With kind regards,

Yours sincerely,

NIBNOSE & RASPER TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 29.11.25.

We were just a little surprised at your letter—but nothing to worry about—as this is the second time we have been passed over by you and we are getting used to same.

We shall be glad if you will present our respects to Sir Leslie Brash and inform that gentleman that we shall be glad to serve him at any time that he may honour us with his orders and abide by them, but we do not much care for the way he has served us so far, for what we expected is not compliments but compensation.

We may remind you that when Mr. Nibnose saw you at your office on this matter it was clearly understood that we would agree to cancel our contract if we were given a fair chance to tender to a new design against Mr. John Grigblay only. As Sir Leslie has chosen to disregard his side of the bargain and break your word to us, we must respectfully ask a sum representing our reasonable profits in compensation, viz: 7½ % on the amount of our tender.

Yours faithfully,

“Nibrasp” are entitled to compensation for the cancellation of their contract, since the acceptance of a tender constitutes a contract binding on both parties, each of whom is entitled to compensation for breach by the other. The sum that would be allowed by the Courts in compensation would depend on the circumstances. It might happen that a contractor or a building owner would, by a breach by the other, be involved in losses far in excess of the direct loss of profits or loss of the bargain.

SPINLOVE TO TINGE
,
QUANTITY SURVEYOR

Dear Mr. Tinge, 1.12.25.

While I was away on a holiday my client obtained tender for £1,350 for a block of cottages from a new builder, Nibnose & Rasper, which he accepted. He has now decided not to build and the contractors ask 7½ % on the tendered price as compensation for breach. Is this a fair claim? The firm states that 7½ % represents their expected profits. Is this right?

Yours truly,

TINGE TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 2.12.25.

7½ % is about right for profits.

Yours faithfully,

Tinge, as usual, keeps strictly to facts. It is for Spinlove, and not Tinge, to decide whether the claim is a fair one. All Tinge will say is that 7½ % is a reasonable estimate of profits.

SPINLOVE TO BRASH

Dear Sir Leslie Brash, 3.12.25.

I enclose copies of my letters to Nibnose & Rasper and of their replies. The amount they claim is about right. I will make an appointment with Mr. Nibnose and agree the best terms I can get.

Yours sincerely,

We must suppose that Spinlove explained to Brash, when he decided not to build the cottages, that “Nibrasp” could claim compensation; but he does not appear to have any authority to agree the amount, and although 7½ % may represent expected profits it does not follow that “Nibrasp” could make good a claim for that amount.

SPINLOVE TO NIBNOSE & RASPER

Dear Sir, 3.12.25.

Sir Leslie Brash could not foresee the circumstances which now make it impossible for him to build, and he is aware that he is liable to you for compensation; but there are special circumstances which have to be considered in settling the sum to be paid and I think it would be satisfactory if Mr. Nibnose could call at my office to agree the figure. If you will ring up I shall be glad to make an early appointment.

Yours faithfully,

Spinlove, as agent, here pledges Brash to pay compensation. Even if Brash had agreed to pay—and it does not appear he has ever done so—it was a serious error in diplomacy on Spinlove’s part to tell “Nibrasp” this. He should have opened negotiations by saying that his client resented paying compensation and that unless “Nibrasp” substantially reduced the amount of the claim they would get nothing.

SPINLOVE TO BRASH

Dear Sir Leslie Brash, 4.12.25.

On my return to the office this evening I found your telephone message telling me to come to no understanding with Nibnose & Rasper until I had seen you. I am sorry to say that I wrote to them last night in the sense of my letter to you. I enclose copy of the letter. You will see that the amount of compensation is left open, so that this may be merely a nominal figure.

Yours sincerely,

We have here another example of the ineptitude which overtakes Spinlove when he gets away from the actual business of building. How can “Nibrasp” be put off with nominal compensation—nominal standing for “in name only”—when the payment of actual compensation has been promised?

BRASH TO SPINLOVE

Dear Mr. Spinlove, 5.12.25.

I was astounded to peruse your communication to Messrs. Nibnose & Rasper, in which you take it upon yourself to engage me to disburse compensation without any kind of authority from me to do so, and in face of my emphatic objection, expressed to you in verbal conversation some weeks ago, to do anything of the kind. If anyone is to pay compensation I apprehend it is Mr. Snitch for selling me sham bogus plans and preparing documents which you tell me are incomplete and which Messrs. Nibnose & Rasper knew to be incomplete.

It is obvious that I am being robbed and swindled by a pack of extortionate rogues and that so far from doing anything to protect me you are—if you will permit me to say so—actually playing into their hands. However, one thing is definitely certain; I will not pay Nibnose & Rasper, or Snitch, or any jack one of these scoundrels a halfpenny, and you can tell them so with my compliments. Mr. Snitch has now very obligingly offered to charge only ten guineas “to cover expenses” for cheating me, and if Nibnose talks any more about compensation I request you to refer him to Russ & Co., for I will fight these thieving rogues if I have to sell everything I possess to do it, before I will pay them a farthing.

Yours sincerely,

Ease off on the kidney omelettes, my good sir, and walk to the station of a morning! It is true that Spinlove was at fault in pledging his client without written authority, or without a written note of oral instructions the wording of which his client has approved and which he has confirmed to his client; but he seems to have no doubt that he was correctly representing his client’s views, and in any case Brash’s claim against Snitch for fees paid and “Nibrasp’s” against Brash for compensation are entirely due to Brash’s acting without his architect’s advice or knowledge. Spinlove has, indeed, rescued his client from a much worse disaster.

SPINLOVE TO BRASH

Dear Sir Leslie Brash, 6.12.25.

I much regret that I should have wrongly interpreted your wishes, but when some weeks ago I told you that Nibnose & Rasper were entitled to compensation you made no comment, and I clearly understood you accepted the situation. I have to-day written to the firm repudiating their claim; at the same time there is no doubt they can enforce it. Mr. Nibnose is coming to see me and I will get the best proposals for settlement I can.

May I remind you that I had nothing to do with your contract with Mr. Snitch, nor with your contract with Nibnose & Rasper, but that I have spent a good deal of time in trying to get matters arranged in your best interests.

Yours faithfully,

Spinlove’s nerves are not this time involved.

SPINLOVE TO NIBNOSE & RASPER

Dear Sirs, 6.12.25.

I confirm appointment with Mr. Nibnose at this office at 11 on Thursday.

I regret to have to say that in conveying that Sir Leslie Brash was willing to compensate you I misinterpreted what I understood to be my client’s views. I am now directed by Sir Leslie Brash to inform you that he does not agree you have a claim for compensation against him.

Yours faithfully,

But they have! All Brash has done is to roar “I won’t pay.”

SPINLOVE TO GRIGBLAY

Dear Sir, 7.12.25.

May I ask you whether you are aware of what is going on at Honeywood? When I was in one of the bedrooms yesterday with your foreman, there was a sudden uproar downstairs and, while I was asking Bloggs what all the noise was, a rat with a terrier after it ran into the room and bolted into the floor-space where the electricians had a trap open, and men came rioting up the stairs before they could be stopped. I had noticed several dogs tied up and Bloggs said the men brought them “for a bit of a rat hunt in the dinner hour,” but I never supposed there were rats in the house.

It is really disgraceful and I should certainly have to ask you to replace your foreman if the work were not so nearly finished. Suppose Sir Leslie learnt what was going on, or that Lady Brash saw a rat! The rats have no doubt been attracted by the litter of bits of food in the den which the plumbers used as a shop, but the men have no business to bring food into the house at all. It must be stopped and the rats cleared out, at once. Bloggs says they will go when they cannot get water, but I have heard of them gnawing through lead pipes for it, and with all these spaces under the floors on the South side, the house will become rat-ridden before it is finished. I shall want to see those spaces thoroughly cleaned out. There are shavings and rubbish there. The main thing is to get rid of the rats at once. Poison must not be used or we shall have more smells. I am astonished you should allow such a state of affairs.

Yours faithfully,

P.S.—We put the terrier into the floor and got the rat.

From the postscript we learn that the august architect pocketed his indignation and joined the hunt.

GRIGBLAY TO SPINLOVE

Dear Sir, 9.12.25.

We regret the occasion for your letter which we were quite unaware of. We are sending down an expert who will fume out rats, and have given our foreman strict orders, and trust you will have no further grounds for complaints.

We should like to call your attention to the Riddoppo paint next time you are on the site, as our foreman painter is not altogether satisfied.

Yours faithfully,

BRASH TO SPINLOVE

Dear Mr. Spinlove, 8.12.25.

I have to solicit your condolences and ask you to make excuses for the somewhat rough asperity of my last communication, as I was at the time suffering from a dental relapse in a molar which has proved unexpectedly refractory and you will be sorry to hear me say that the distress was extremely chronic. [It is to be hoped he will be very sorry indeed to hear Brash say it, but then—why say it?]