The Heat Is On (16 page)

When she got to the hospital, the look on her mother's face scared her more than she would have thought. “Is he okay?” Tracy asked, taking a seat beside her in the waiting room.

It was so hard to think of her father as vulnerable. Thomas Coleman had worked hard all his life to achieve success as a radiologist, but even being in the healthcare profession didn't make him bulletproof. She knew that, but still couldn't help the worried ache in her heart.

And he hadn't been himself lately, she'd noticed that. He was slowing down, playing less golf, and the last time she saw him he seemed pale, almost gray. She'd asked him if he was okay, and he had brushed her off with a laugh as he reached for Chloe.

It all made sense now.

And her mother seemed lost. “We don't know yet. They are doing a bunch of tests. But it sounded to me like they were going to keep him, at least until tomorrow. I guess there is nothing to do now but wait.”

“Does that mean I can't see him?” Tracy glanced down the forbidding hallway.

“Not yet. I think once they understand what's going on, they can make some decisions. But I am glad you're here.” Her mother squeezed her hand. “Who has the kids?”

“Connor,” Tracy said, leaning back into the chair and feeling waves of fatigue washing over her. It had been a long evening already, and she certainly hadn't counted on something like this.

“Connor Jackson?”

Her mother brought her back to the present with her question. “Yes. He was with me when you called, and he volunteered.”

“That's a surprise.”

“What do you mean?” A knot formed in her stomach, and she couldn't help but sound defensive. “He seems to genuinely like the kids, and wants to help.”

“Mrs. Coleman?” The doctor entered the room.

“Yes?” Suddenly her mother seemed very small and fragile as she got to her feet.

“He has an artery that is almost completely blocked. We are going to have to do a procedure called an angioplasty. It should only take a couple of hours, but we are going to keep him through tomorrow just in case. Here is some paperwork for you to sign.” He handed her a clipboard, and Tracy's mother stared at it in confusion.

“Is he going to be okay?” Tracy had to ask. Fear riddled inside her.
Please make him answer
.

The doctor nodded as he looked up from the paperwork. “Yes. There is always a risk with a procedure like this, but my feeling is he will be okay. Thank God you came here straightaway,” he said to her mother. “Otherwise, if you had waited, it may have been too late. We'll get the procedure done as quickly as possible, and I will be out to give you an update. Or I can call.” His eyes shifted from her mother to Tracy.

Tracy shook her head. She didn't like the sound of all this, but kept her thoughts to herself. “We will be here.”

He nodded, took the paperwork, and returned to the operating room as the two women sat down once more to worry and wait.

A baby was crying.

Connor awoke suddenly and glanced around the living room. It was pitch-black, and only a sliver of moonlight fell on the unfamiliar furnishings.

Most of it was secondhand furniture, but it was comfortable and clean. Toys lay scattered around the floor, building blocks, trucks, and the baby rattle. A sparkly tiara glittered from the coffee table, along with a princess doll.

Tracy's. It came to him a moment later, along with the events of the evening. She'd gone to the hospital and he was staying with the kids. He picked up his phone on the coffee table and saw that it was three a.m. There was a text from her, and he clicked on it.

Dad is in surgery now. Can't call from the waiting room. I'll text you later
.

That wasn't good. He saw that she had sent the text about an hour after she'd left, and there wasn't an update since. But that could mean a lot of things.

The crying started again, louder this time. Connor got off the couch and went quietly up the steps to Lily's room. When he opened the door, she was fussing and kicking as if everything were wrong in the world.

“Hey, it's okay!” Connor spoke softly to the infant, but Lily was having no part of it. As he smoothed her hair, she let out another yell and drew her knees up to her belly.

The pacifier lay beside her, and Connor inserted it into her mouth, hoping that would do the trick. But the baby promptly spat it back out, inhaled, and let out a cry that made his hair stand on end.

What now? He wasn't sure if she was still eating at night, a little detail he probably should have nailed down with Tracy. Or maybe she just wanted company?

Gingerly, he picked the baby up and put her against his broad shoulder, patting her back and talking to her in a low voice.

“Hey there, it's me. Connor. Remember I took you to the zoo? Your mommy had to go away for a bit, so I'm taking care of you…”

Lily paused to look at him for a moment, her expression clearly reading:
Who the hell are you?
But that only bought him a moment of peace, for she renewed the crying and kicking with an even greater intensity as if it were somehow his fault that he wasn't making this right.

Frustrated, Connor paced the room. He was tempted to wake Mason and ask him for help, but he felt bad that the little boy had too much of a burden on him already; he deserved a good night's sleep.

Come on, Connor. You can do this. It's a baby, for God's sake!
It amazed him that he could handle an opposing baseball team, hung-over pitchers with ego issues, deal with a ton of pressure, and yet this little pint-sized package totally undid him.

He carried the screaming bundle down the steps and headed for the kitchen, patting the baby's back. “Please stop crying, Lily. I know I'm not as good as your mom when it comes to knowing what you need, but hang in there.”

But she didn't stop. He opened the fridge and found the bottles of milk that Mason had shown him before.
Thank God
. Plucking one out from behind the juice boxes, he then plopped it into the heater and he pressed the button. As he waited, he tried jostling the baby, but Lily screamed even more, raising his blood pressure.

When the buzzer finally went off after what seemed like an eternity, he took the bottle out and offered it to the baby. Eagerly, Lily latched on to the nipple and sucked hungrily.

Blissful, blissful silence.

“So that's what you wanted! Why didn't you just tell me?” Connor grinned down at the little girl, who worked the bottle like there was no tomorrow. Lily's eyes met his, and he felt like a savior as her red face faded to her normal baby pink, and her agitation seemed gone. Baby lashes fluttered, and he was enchanted.

Taking a seat on a kitchen chair, Connor gazed down at the helpless little life in his arms and suddenly got it. This was why people had children. And when a little hand reached out and closed around his finger, his heart stopped.

An unfamiliar emotion swept over him as Lily gave him a grateful smile, and he felt like the biggest guy in the world. She stared at him for a few more minutes, and then, to his surprise, her lashes fluttered and she fell asleep with the nipple still in her mouth. Gently he dislodged it, and her little head fell into the crook of his arm as if this were the most natural bed in the world.

At that moment, he felt a fiercely protective instinct toward this baby, this little tiny girl who literally had him wrapped around her finger. For a few minutes he just looked at her in wonder, marveling at her beauty and her innocence. She cooed in her sleep, obviously dreaming something wonderful like a refrigerator full of milk bottles, and Connor had to smile.

But when he got to his feet and started for the steps, she woke up and began crying again.

“Shh,” he tried, aware the other kids were sleeping, but the baby seemed wretched once more. He tried putting her down in her crib, but that seemed to make things worse, for now she was kicking and flailing as if utterly miserable.

She was fed. He'd held her. What else could she want? Turning on the light, he saw a box of diapers and wipes on a dressing table. Could that be it?

He retrieved the baby and put her on top of the pad, and wrestled with her pajamas. It was like trying to take a coat off a porcupine as she thrashed and struggled, screaming at the top of her lungs. But he finally got the feet out, and was able to take off the diaper.

She was wet. Did babies cry this hard because of that? He held up her feet and was irresistibly reminded of a fresh chicken as he used the baby wipes. Then he reached for a new diaper, put that on, and tried to get the feet back into her PJs, but that seemed impossible with the way she was fussing.

Helplessly, he tried carrying her again, the feeties flopping loosely around her as she twisted and turned in his arms.

“What, baby? What do you need?” He felt her head, and that seemed cool even though she was screaming. So she wasn't sick. He tried laying her down again with the pacifier, but she glared at him and screamed even louder.

What? What
?

The door creaked open and he saw Mason standing there. Connor felt like a helpless incompetent as Tracy's son gazed at him, but he didn't see judgment in Mason's expression.

“Where's Mom?” The little boy looked at him in confusion.

“Your grandfather was taken to the hospital, and she went to be with him. He'll be okay.” He answered Mason's unasked question as he saw the look of anxiety spread over the little boy's face.

Lily let out another squall, and Mason indicated the rocking chair.

“She probably has gas. Mom calls it something else. Sometimes she sits there and puts Lily on her lap upside down. It seems to help.”

“Let's give it a try.” Connor lifted the baby out of the crib and did as Mason instructed. He sat down in the rocker, and put the baby facedown across his knees.

“And she rubs her back,” Mason said, wrinkling his nose as if trying to picture the scene.

Connor nodded, and added that, gently massaging Lily's back as he rocked gently in the chair. Within a few minutes the crying subsided, and to his surprise, the baby farted.

He turned to look at Mason, startled at the unexpected sound, and they both broke into laughter. “Did all that come out of this tiny baby?”

“You should see her poop. It's gross,” Mason said, wiping his eyes. But the look he gave Connor was not unkind, and he felt he had an ally, maybe even a friend.

“I'm afraid to touch her,” he said, yawning loudly.

“She should be okay. You can probably put her back to bed now.”

Connor lowered the baby into the crib with considerable trepidation. But as he offered the pacifier, Lily accepted it and immediately dozed off.

“Well, I'll be damned.” He gazed down at the sleeping child, who a moment ago was a screaming ball of tension. “I owe you, pal.” He smiled at Mason and took his hand, leading him back to his room.

Ethan slept through the whole ordeal in a twin bed covered with stuffed animals. Mason climbed beneath the covers and Connor brought the blankets up to his shoulders.

“Need anything?” Connor asked as Mason shook his head in the negative. “Okay. Good night, then. I'll be downstairs.”

He paused, realizing that he never noticed how cute this little boy was, with his blond hair curling around his face, his small body tucked beneath a quilt. His eyes closed, and Connor wondered if, like the baby, he was asleep already. He turned to go when a small voice spoke behind him.

“Are you going to leave us, too?”

It was a punch in the gut.

Connor swallowed hard, his throat knotting as he understood what the little boy was asking.

“I don't have any plans to leave anybody. Okay?”

A moment of silence and then, “Okay.” His head went back to the pillow, and Mason closed his eyes once more.

He awoke when she tiptoed into the living room and put her keys on the end table.

“Hey.” Connor yawned, looked around sleepily, and then his eyes settled on Tracy. “How's your dad?”

“Okay. He had a blockage, so they had to do an angioplasty. He's sleeping now. They think he'll be okay.”

“That's good.” He reached for her, and she came willingly into his arms, sitting beside him on the couch.

“How did you make out with the kids?”

“Good. Lily woke up and was crying for a bit, but between me and Mason, we got things settled down.”

There was something in his voice that made her pause even as she lowered her face to kiss him. “You okay?”

“Sure.” He leaned into her kiss, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her onto his lap. When he eased his lips from hers and laid back on the couch, he gave her a smile.

“You must be exhausted.”

“I am,” Tracy admitted. “I didn't expect to be gone so long. I'm sorry.”

“Not your fault. What time is it?” Connor glanced at the window and blinked at the soft light that penetrated the curtains.

“It's about six now. The procedure took longer than they expected, and they ran into some complications. But at least everything turned out all right in the end.”

“Then I'd better go, and let you get some sleep.”

A pang of disappointment shot through her. She would have liked to have spent more time with him, made love to him as they had originally intended, but the baby would be up soon and she did need some rest.

“Okay,” she said, linking her fingers behind his neck for another kiss.

But he surprised her when he got to his feet, sweeping her up in his arms. “What are you doing?” she gasped.

“Putting you to bed.” He gave her a wicked grin. “Turns out, I'm pretty good at it.”

When Connor got home, he took a cold shower. He and Tracy hadn't had sex, and his body was feeling it. When she'd gotten home and wakened him, it had taken all of his self-control not to roll her beneath him, flip up that saucy dress, and pound her until she cried out in ecstasy.

But he knew she was exhausted, and probably emotionally spent as well. So instead, he'd carried her up the steps, undressed her, pulled on the T-shirt that she slept in, and put her to bed just like he had with Mason and Lily.

“
Are you going to leave us, too
?”

That one sentence ate at him like an acid. Connor knew that he had to get his head straight. After all, he was playing in the World Series in a couple of days and needed to have all of his wits about him.

But even as he toweled off and picked up his razor, he felt on edge. Mason deserved better than another man walking out on him. They all did. But there were no guarantees in life. What if things didn't work out between him and Tracy? What if it was too hard, with so many little hearts involved?

He left early for the ballpark, intending to get some extra batting practice in, along with a workout. But even a jog around the track didn't help. Nor did his weightlifting routine. And when he got to the batting cage, he hammered the first ball, sending it way into the left field corner.

“Hey, you hit like that today, this game is ours!”

He saw Carlos approach, smacking the ball into his glove, and wearing a big grin. Connor smacked the next pitch, sending it into the opposite field.

The grin left Carlos's face. “You are supposed to be practicing,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “Not tearing the cover off the ball. Want to tell me what's bugging you?”

“It's nothing.” He landed the next pitch down center field, and spun into knots. When Carlos shot him a look, he shrugged, lowering the bat. “Okay. Just something Tracy's son said to me.” Briefly, he related what had happened the night before.

“Wow. That's pretty deep,” Carlos said, agreeing with his thoughts. “So you are afraid of what might happen?”

“Yeah. These kids have been through enough. Their old man is a total ass-wipe.”

Connor picked up the bat and hit the next ball, but this time with a nice easy swing.

“Nice,” the pitcher commented.

“Now I get why she wants to put some distance between me and the kids until we are absolutely certain this will work. But it sucks. I want them here, with me. I want them to have this experience. But I understand.”

Carlos nodded his head. “That's what it's like when you care about your kids. You have to make choices that are in their best interest, even though it does sometimes suck.” He gave him a sympathetic grin. “Welcome to my world.”

“Whore.”

Tracy's breath caught as she answered the cell and heard that one word hissing into her ear.

“What did you say?” She stared at Jeremy's number in disbelief.

“You heard me. Letting that guy spend the night while my children are there. Did you let them watch you have sex, see you blow him?”

Tracy was once more creeped out. Jeremy must have driven by while Connor was still at her house and saw his car.

Worse, it was beginning to occur to her that Jeremy was more than just a jealous ex-husband. He seemed mentally unbalanced. Whether that was a result of post-traumatic stress or some other disorder, it meant trouble.

“I am not entertaining this for one second.” No matter what his issues were, she wasn't about to let him talk to her like this. She started to hang up, but his next words stopped her cold.

“I can go for custody, you know.”

“Based on what?” she asked, furious, but fear crept inside her, niggled at her.

He seemed to read her mind, for he honed in on that emotion. “I have the money to get a good lawyer, and I'll make a case that you are an unfit mother, that you are screwing around all over town.”

“I hate to break it to you, but when you cheat on your wife and get divorced, she is entitled to move on.” Tracy let the anger rush over the fear. “And that's what I am doing.”

“I can bleed you dry in court,” he continued, sneering. “You don't have the money to fight me and you know it. I can also talk to the press. How do you think it would look for lover boy if the media found out he's doing sleepovers with a divorcée and four kids?”

That made her pause. She hadn't considered that Jeremy might create a problem for Connor. Would the papers portray him in such a light? He didn't deserve to have his reputation tarnished just as he was getting ready to retire. But bad news was good news for the tabloids.

She knew better than to let him see his comments hit the mark. “I don't think Connor would be intimidated by you,” she said coldly.

“Yeah? We'll see. Somehow I don't think the all-American ballplayer wants to see his name in the morning rags tied to you.” She could almost see his sneer. “I'll be there this weekend to pick up the kids. Make sure they are ready, and that your baseball Romeo is somewhere else, maybe doing what he gets paid for.”

Tracy hung up before he could say anything else, but she was shaking. Jeremy could make a lot of trouble for her and Connor, trouble neither of them needed. Connor had built his name and career over the years. He was known not only as a talented player but a man of character. He didn't deserve to have that destroyed because of her ex-husband.

It was all getting too complicated, too ugly. And the longer she stayed in this relationship, the worse it would be for everyone. The kids would just get more attached and would have their hearts broken again when Connor left. And she was kidding herself to think that he wouldn't. No man would want all of this baggage, and over time, the stress would eat away at them, destroying their relationship.

Destroying the love.