The Heart's Shrapnel (14 page)

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Why am I here? Where are we?” she says in a rush.

“I’m going to sit down, okay?” My eyes flit to the spot in front of her. Once she nods, I slowly sit.

“What’s going on, Phillip? I was at the hospital. I was—”

“You were passed out on the floor,” I interrupt her.

She blinks, looking confused as she bites the bottom of her lip.

“Joe called me.”

“Well . . . I have to get back. I have patients to care for.” She throws the covers off and starts to get up. When she grabs her head, I try to take her arm to keep her from falling, but she yanks herself away.

“I’m fine,” she says while pushing my hand away. She goes straight to her overnight bag and frantically looks through it, pulling out items as she goes.

I sit back, amused at her facial expressions.

Her face gets redder with each item. Once she reaches for the box of tampons, my grin fades.

“Um . . .” she utters before abruptly shoving it back into the bag.

I rub my neck. “I didn’t know what all you would need. I’m clueless in that department.” When she doesn’t answer, I get up and go to her. She looks lost. Afraid. I don’t want her to be either of those things.

She backs up once I get closer. It’s just a fraction, but enough to notice. I start to bring my hand on the side of her cheek.

“Phillip?” she asks, slightly alarmed, but she doesn’t move.

Taking that as my invitation to keep going, I do so until my hand makes contact. I lightly brush my thumb over her soft, marred skin. Each centimeter and color variation sets the bar for how painful I’m going to make the punishment for the person who hurt her.

“Who did this to you?” My voice doesn’t come close to registering how I feel on the inside. I’m ready to explode with rage.

She looks down and shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Jane.”

She lifts her sad eyes to mine.

“You keep saying that. It does matter.” Her answer upsets me. How can she not care? Why the hell does she think her safety isn’t of any concern?

“This isn’t your job . . . taking care of me. You have more pressing things to worry about. I’ll be fine. I’ll stay busy with the hospital. I’ll keep myself around someone at all times—”

I cut her off. “You didn’t answer my question. And you’re wrong, Jane. It is my job. And I will do whatever is necessary to make sure that this”—I lightly rub her face again—“doesn’t happen again. Now, who was it?”

She bows her head, biting her lip once more. “You don’t want to mess with him. He can be very dangerous.”

“So can I.”

One lonely tear falls down her cheek. “You’re not army, are you?”

Every muscle in my body tenses. God, this woman is smart. I just wish she knew it.

“Jane, you keep dodging my question.”

“And so do you. I’ve thought this before, but now it seems even more evident. What aren’t you telling me?”

“Jane, I can’t—”

“No, you won’t. That’s what it comes down to with men in your position. The woman is never on equal ground. She’s always shoved aside and doesn’t matter. You want her around, but you don’t want her opinions. She’s just . . . there.”

For a moment, I’m confused as I try to put together what she’s saying. She’s not talking about me. And she’s not talking about the general. It’s that guy. Her ex is here in Afghanistan. But, I’ll be damned if I’m going to be put in the same box as him.

“Not all men are pieces of shit,” I state with a calmness I don’t feel. “Some of us do the things we do
because
of the woman.
Because
we don’t want to lose them.
Because
they matter. And because we’d fight to the death just to keep their love in our memory.” I have Jane flush against the wall, and I’m so close I can smell the scent of jasmine. I hadn’t realized how close I’d gotten.

Her breathing has changed. It’s heavier. She keeps peering at my mouth, begging me to kiss her. God, I want to. But I don’t think I could stop. Right now she’s vulnerable, and I’ll not take advantage of her.

I exhale. “Take a shower. Then you need to get some sleep.”

She looks stunned and blinks, furrowing her brows. She starts for the door, but she surprises me and turns back.

“It was Kevin. He’s back.”

Jane

When I tell Phillip my ex is back, it’s as if he already suspected my injury was from him. His jaw ticks and his eyes focus on mine.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told him.

“Was today the first day you saw him?” he finally asks.

I look down, afraid to answer.

“Jane?”

“No,” I say. He sighs and scrubs his hands over his eyes before running them down the front of his face.

“I gave you a phone,” he says as if that would have solved the problem. “I told you to call if—”

“I couldn’t!”

His eyes snap to mine.

“I was taking a shower and he . . . he came in. I was so scared. And, he wouldn’t let me leave. He saw you.”

“What?”

“That’s why he came in. He must have already been there to see me, but he thinks that I’m seeing you.” My body starts trembling as I remember his hands on my naked flesh, and my eyes sting with tears. “He was touching me, and I didn’t want it—I didn’t want him. He’s always so rough. I thought I wouldn’t make it out alive when he pushed me up against the wall. I had to do it . . . I had to slap him.” I pause remembering the way Kevin looked when I struck him. Surprise but then something so carnal I knew my only hope was to escape. “He wanted to kill me. I could see it in his eyes. I panicked and got out of there as fast as I could.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Phillip says as he wraps me in his arms.

The heat coming off his naked chest soothes me, but also reminds me that the only thing he’s wearing right now is a towel wrapped at his trim waist. I ignore it and focus on his embrace.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea he was here, Jane. If I had known, I would have never stopped by to see you.” He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

The loving gesture breaks me, and I cry harder as he keeps hold, gently rocking me. It feels so good to be held like this—like he genuinely cares.

“Come on.” He releases me from his embrace, gently takes my arm, and guides me to sit on my bed. “One moment,” he says. He disappears into the bathroom, and I wonder what he’s doing until I hear the bath start to fill.

He returns, picks up my bag of things and brings it to me. “I removed my stuff. There’s a toothbrush in here and some toothpaste.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Jane. Come.” He grabs me by the hand and leads me into the tiny bathroom. The heat has made the air damp and the walls bead with moisture. “One second,” he says as he grabs a towel from the rack. Placing his hand behind my back, he gently pushes me so he can maneuver his all-encompassing body around mine.

He dips his hands into the running water to splash the back of the tub.

What is he doing?

He places the towel against the back and splashes water over the towel, soaking it to make it stick.

He’s making a pillow. For me.

“I’ll give you some privacy.” This time he uses both hands to scoot me back a little so his big frame can get out the door.

“Thank you,” I say meekly.

He stops and slowly turns around, the soft glow of the light illuminating his handsome face.

My body heats from his gaze. He really is a gorgeous man. The few days old beard only heightens his beauty.

“You’re welcome. I’m going to get dressed and find us something to eat. There’s a place across the street. I won’t be long. I promise.” He steps out momentarily before coming back. “Here’s a new phone. It’s yours.
Use it
.”

“Okay.”

He sets my new phone on the lid of the toilet, grabs the doorknob, and winks before shutting the door; leaving me alone, but strangely comforted.

After stripping out of my clothes, I dip my toe into the almost too hot water. Once I’m used to the temperature, I sit down, lean back and give in to the relaxing sensation. I smile at the loads of bubbles in the water—probably from the shampoo, but it does the trick.

Beep.

What is that? I must have dozed off.

I open my eyes and see my new phone flashing, alerting me to a new message. It has to be Phillip. I stand up, grab another towel from the shelf, and dry my hands before picking up my phone.

“I ordered some noodle mess. I hope that is okay. Options are limited,” Phillip texts.

I smile before sending my response,
“That sounds perfect.

”

“Be back in a few. ;)”

I stare at his text longer than I should before putting the phone down and stepping out of the tub. Grinning from ear to ear, I wrap myself in a towel and pull the plug to release the water.

He sent me a winky face.

Needing to get out of this stuffy bathroom, I quickly throw on the night clothes Phillip packed and sit on my bed while I brush my hair and wait for him. I try not to think about his hands touching my personal wear.

It’s not long before there’s a light knock on the door and he walks in with our food.

“Mmm, that smells great,” I say as my stomach rumbles.

He laughs and sets the bags on the small table. “I hope it tastes great. Usually, dives like this are the best, but then again, it is Afghanistan.”

“Good thing I’m not a picky eater.”

“Good thing.”

His back is to me as he readies our meal. His broad shoulders strain against his black T-shirt. He has such a strong back, capable of doing just about anything. When I saw the V peeking above his towel, it was all I could do not to touch his hard, rippled stomach.

“Jane?”

“What?” My eyes snap to his face.

“I asked if you wanted chopsticks or a regular fork.”

“Oh . . . um, a fork. I’ve never been good with chopsticks.”

“Really?” he asks while bringing my food over to me—carrying his in his other hand. I take it from him while he sits across from me on the other bed. “Tell me, Jane, how does a girl like you go through life eating noodles such as this without knowing how to use these?” He places the chopsticks in his one hand and clicks them together.

Scooting farther onto the bed, I sit cross-legged and take a bite of my food. “I get by mighty fine with a fork, thank you. And, I will say that this food is actually pretty good.”

He laughs. “That, or you’re really hungry.”

“Maybe.” I smile. “You going to show me how to use those things, or force me to go the rest of my life embarrassing myself?”

Phillip quirks a brow. “Well, I wouldn’t want that.”

He spends the next ten minutes trying to help me master chopsticks, but after many failed attempts, we both give up.

“You really should get some rest now,” he says as he takes my empty container and throws it in the trash.

“You’re right. I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.”

He disappears into the bathroom, and the sound of running water reminds me that I still need to brush my teeth. I grab the one he set out for me and wait until he is finished.

Once I’m done, I situate myself under the covers and fluff my pillow.

“Maybe you should take it easy for the next few days,” he says.

“And what? Hang out with you while you’re into God knows what.” I snort. Phillip’s face falls, and I immediately feel guilty. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be like that. It’s not fair of me.”

“It’s fine,” he says while pulling his shirt over his head. Every turn, every pull has my breath stilling in amazement at the sight. It’s as if he’s perfectly hand painted with the intricate strokes of a brush. Tossing his shirt onto a chair, he looks at me and I quickly turn away.

Great! I’ve been caught staring.

“I’ll take you back around 0600 so you can eat breakfast before work,” he says.

“Okay, that’ll be . . .” he starts unbuckling his belt as if he’s the only one in the room. “That’ll be fine.”

He starts laughing again and it only makes my cheeks burn brighter. “You are always blushing, Jane from Baltimore.”

Peeking, I see he’s left his jeans on as he lays on top of the sheets. I realize I have the other quilt. He must have put it on top of me when I was sleeping. “I suppose so. Hey, this is yours. I don’t need two.”

“I can’t sleep under the covers. You keep it.”

“Why?” I ask, my interest piqued.

He reaches over and turns the light out. Aside from the soft light of the moon, the room darkens considerably.

“It’s too confining. Good night, Jane.”

***

I wake up with a start. Yelling comes from across the way. It’s not enough to wake the whole town, but enough for concern. You never know in a place like this if someone will turn on you because you happen to be convenient.

I can just make out Phillip’s silhouette. He’s in the same spot he was when he went to sleep. The clock reads 1:30 am. Considering my options, I decide I’d rather be near Phillip if some crazy person were to burst into our room. There’s no doubt in my mind he could protect me.

Maybe he won’t notice me next to him.

More shouting ensues, so I grab my quilt, lay it next to him, and crawl in beside him, careful not to wake him. He doesn’t stir. Once I’m satisfied he’ll stay asleep, I relax with a sigh. When I do, however, I feel movement.

Oh boy.

Keeping as still as possible while holding my breath, he turns onto his side, facing me, his eyes still closed and wraps his arm around my waist.

“Hmm,” he moans.

Remaining still, I wait to see if he’ll stay asleep. Thankfully he does.

His body radiates enough heat to warm this small room.

Wanting to get comfortable, I angle myself just enough to fit snuggly against him. He smells of Zest soap and pure male. And for the life of me, I can’t explain why I feel the need to soothe him. He’s been stressed, but why? Whatever it is, I want to relieve him of it.

There’s a small scar at the top of his shoulder. Careful not to make any sudden movements, I trace the edge of it and wonder how he got it.

He moans again and nuzzles my neck. My hand hesitates before I run it down the length of his arm. Soft puffs of air from his nose brush against my neck. My skin breaks out in goosebumps and my nipples harden.

The most intimate part of me heats—muscles clenching. I want Phillip and that scares me. I’m not used to wanting to be touched or even asking for it. I use my nails to skim lightly along his arm, threading through the soft golden hairs before skating over his defined biceps.

Without warning, he jerks awake and stares at me. He pants with his mouth slightly ajar while his eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Jane?”

I feel like cement against the bed. With his body pushed up against mine, I can’t think. So, I go for my original reason. “I got scared. There was yelling.”

His eyes roam my face. He almost looks ashamed. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“They weren’t that loud,” I assure him.

“Probably just someone quarreling about business.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I say breathlessly.

“Maybe . . .” He echoes my answer. His eyes travel down the length of his arm to where it’s burrowed partly underneath my lower back. “I um . . .”

I place my hand on the side of his face, wanting to feel him, while also keeping him where I want him. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

He doesn’t say anything for what seems to be hours but is only mere minutes. “Why did you come here?”

His question makes me smile. “Many reasons. But, mainly they said they needed me. I meant to stay, but I had to come.”

“I can’t be around you all the time to protect you.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

He bows his head, looking sad. I don’t know why he thinks he needs to protect me. The only thing or person I need protection from is Kevin, and I can make the necessary arrangements to keep him away . . . hopefully.

“Tell me, Phillip. Why are you doing this for me? All of this over one man is a bit drastic. There has to be more. You pleaded with me not to come here, before you knew about Kevin. So tell me. I have a right to know.”

He lifts his head and zeros in on my bruised cheek. “I don’t think it’s drastic at all,” he says, ignoring the latter question.

“Phillip.”

“Jane, I can’t. Everything I’m doing is for a reason. That’s all you need to know. I could get fired if I told you anything . . . and I can’t let that happen. At least not yet.”

With my hand still on his face, I try to smooth out his worries. He looks so forlorn. There’s no doubt in my mind it has to do with something or someone else.

“Okay,” I agree, not wanting to fight.

“Thank you.” Lifting my head, I pause just before his lips. Our breath mingles together in a slow, steady dance.

Phillip glances from my eyes to my mouth. Finally, his mouth meets mine halfway, descending upon my lips with just a feather’s touch. It’s so light, but explosive at the same time. I close my eyes and rest my head on my pillow. Phillip shifts his body so he’s lying halfway on top of mine, the weight cocooning me underneath the blankets.