The Heart's Journey: Stitches in Time Series #2 (27 page)

“You don’t have to do that. You’ve done enough.”

“Not true.”

“Guess we should be going,” Chris said, pushing his cart toward the front of the store.

Nick watched Chris pile the things he’d picked up onto the counter, and the cashier began to ring them up.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked Chris as they gathered up the bags and began walking to the car. “It’s confidential.”

When Chris nodded, he took a deep breath. “How hard is it to become Amish?”

Naomi rushed to open the door for Mary Katherine when she saw her cousin struggling because her arms were filled with packages.

The skies opened up just after she got inside.

“Good timing,” Naomi said, taking some of the packages from Mary Katherine’s arms.

“There’s a letter in here for you,” her cousin said, handing her a tote stuffed full.

“Did you see who it’s from?”

“No name or return address on it.” She carried the packages to the back room and Naomi followed her.

Digging into the tote, Mary Katherine retrieved the letter and handed it to her.

Naomi grimaced when she saw the postmark from the town where John was living. She ripped the letter open and sank into a chair when she recognized the familiar scrawl. “John. It’s from John.”

“What’s he say?”

She scanned the letter. “He’s apologizing. Says he’s sorry for upsetting me.”

“And?”

Naomi looked up. “What?”

“What else does he say?”

“Oh. Says he wishes me well and knows I’ll do the same for him. He’s seeing someone.”

Mary Katherine reached for the cookie jar and sat down at the table. She opened the jar and held it out to Naomi. When
Naomi shook her head, Mary Katherine pulled out a big cookie and began munching it.

“I’m not surprised. Are you?”

“No.” She sighed.

“How do you feel about him moving on?”

“Relieved for myself. Concerned for the other woman. What if he treats her the same way he did me?”

Mary Katherine frowned. “I know. But you have to trust. You got away from him.”

“Who got away from whom?” Leah asked as she walked into the room.

“Naomi got a letter from John.”

Leah stopped and looked at Naomi. “I thought he hadn’t contacted you.”

She shrugged. “He hadn’t.” She glanced at the letter and then handed it to her grandmother.

The room was silent for a few minutes as Leah read the letter. “So you’re worried about this other woman he’s interested in.”

Naomi nodded.

“God knows what He’s doing,
liebschen
. I always liked what my friend Phoebe says. You know, Jenny Bontrager’s grandmother. She says that worrying is arrogant. God knows what He’s doing.”

She sighed. “I know.”

Her grandmother waved a hand at the letter. “So what are you going to do about the letter?”

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything.”

Leah’s eyebrows went up. “Really?”

“I guess that’s not polite.”

“You might think about forgiving him.”

Naomi jumped to her feet. “Forgive him? Have you forgotten that he’s the one who hurt
me
?”

“No. But can you? Can you forgive him?”

She folded her arms across her chest, then realized she was being defensive.

“Forgiveness isn’t about John. It’s about who you are.”

Leah pulled her purse out of a cabinet. “I’m going to run an errand. I’ll be back in a little while.”

She patted Naomi’s cheek. “Think about it. Holding on to hurt feelings or resentment hurts us more than the other person.”

“Wow.”

Naomi looked at Mary Katherine. “Yeah.” She sat and put her chin in her hand and propped her elbow on the table. “She’s right.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to write him.” She stood and began pawing through a drawer. “We must have some stationery around here.”

“We have some in the front desk. I’ll get it for you.”

Mary Katherine took another cookie from the jar, closed it, then put it back on the counter.

“You okay?”

“Yes, why?”

“You don’t usually eat between meals.”

“Don’t start,” Mary Katherine said, giving her a sharp look. “My wanting some of your oatmeal cookies doesn’t mean I’m pregnant.” She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of milk.

“Whatever you say,” Naomi told her.

“Keep it up and you’ll be the last person I tell when—” she stopped herself. “
If
and when I get pregnant.”

She left the room with what could only be described as a flounce.

Naomi laughed. Mary Katherine couldn’t keep a grudge. And neither could she. When her cousin returned with the stationery, she sat down to pen the letter.

It took a few minutes to figure out what she wanted to say. She reflected on how John had always tried to make her feel that his mistreatment was her fault. The leader of the group Kate had recommended worked hard to dispel that for her and the other women who attended the meetings.

But she had emphasized that the women needed to work on their self-esteem—that they had to value themselves or no one would. They could find a new man but, in the words of the counselor, they’d just find someone with a different head. Naomi smiled wryly at that image.

Her thoughts drifted to Nick. She didn’t believe he’d treat her badly even if she thought she wasn’t worthy of his love.

She smiled as she thought about him.

“What’s going on?”

Snapped out of her reverie, Naomi blinked.

“Bet I know who you’re thinking about.”

Anna reached into the refrigerator for sandwiches for lunch. She set the plastic box on the table and leaned over to see what Naomi was doing.

“Oh, no! You’re sitting there looking dreamy over
John?”

Naomi folded up the paper and stuffed it into the envelope with his letter. “Of course not. I’m writing him to accept his apology, but I wasn’t just thinking of him.”

Before Anna could tease her more, Mary Katherine walked in. “I turned the sign around and locked the door. What’s to eat?”

She’d just sat here and eaten three cookies, Naomi couldn’t help thinking. But she wasn’t going to point that out, especially when Mary Katherine began chattering about how thoughtful Nick had been earlier that day. Anna tried to tease her again
but Mary Katherine was talking nonstop and she couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

Naomi smiled at a frustrated-looking Anna and began setting plates on the table.

“I made sandwiches from last night’s leftover ham.”

“And Swiss cheese?” Anna asked as she plucked one from the box.

Naomi tried not to grin. Anna would be too busy eating for the next few minutes to continue trying to ask Naomi questions.

As they sat there, tucked into the kitchen chatting and eating, a gentle rain beginning to drip against the back room window, Naomi felt a peace settle over her.

She didn’t know what path her life would lead her down next, but it was okay not to know. God was in charge. His will would be done.

“So I’ve heard Amish men are really old-fashioned and controlling.”

Naomi looked at the group leader, then at the woman who’d made the statement.

“We have traditional marriages, but most of our men aren’t like that.”

“But this guy was?”

She sighed and nodded.

“Not a good sign when you were only engaged,” another woman said.

“I started dating at fifteen. The guy was sixteen and he was already that way.” Joan, a woman Naomi had seen chain-smoking before she came inside, spoke up. “Nearly every guy I’ve dated since then has been the same way.”

“That’s why it’s important to learn how to spot them early on,” Ivy, the counselor, said.

Naomi had called Ivy, who’d invited her to attend a meeting of the group. She was in her fifties and had kind eyes, but Naomi had noticed that she could be blunt and didn’t let the group members make excuses for their behavior.

“No one has the right to beat up on you,” Ivy said. “But are you valuing yourself enough? Are you making excuses for him? Just how long are you going to tell yourself he’ll change?”

“I don’t think he’ll change,” Naomi blurted out. “I broke off the engagement.”

“Do I hear a ‘but’ here?” one of the women asked.

“What do you mean?”

“If you broke off the engagement and you’re not going to see him again, why are you here?”

Naomi bit her lip and stared at her hands.

“That’s a good question,” Ivy said. “Is your new boyfriend acting the same way?”

“I don’t have a new boyfriend.”

“Afraid to let another guy close?” another woman, named Joy, asked sympathetically.

“There’s someone I care for but he’s not Amish.”
Care for,
she thought.
That’s a pretty mealymouth way to describe what I feel for Nick.
“We can’t marry.”

“Ever?” Melissa wanted to know.

“Well, I joined the church, so I’d be shunned. And few
Englisch
join our church.”

Just as she said that, she thought of Jenny Bontrager and Chris Marlowe. But that didn’t happen often.

“I couldn’t live without electricity,” Joy stated emphatically. “And no television? Forget it.”

“They have really strict rules about stuff,” Melissa said. “I wouldn’t want some man in the church—what’s he called, a bishop?—telling me what to do.”

“Most of them aren’t like that.” Although the current one wasn’t one of her favorites.

She wondered if Nick would ever consider becoming Amish. Best not to even think about it. Amish life wasn’t just about the things they’d mentioned.

“But it doesn’t sound like you’ve discussed it,” Ivy pointed out.

Naomi blinked. “Well, no, because I hadn’t even broken off the engagement with John until recently.”

“Then you don’t know if he’d do it—the new guy, I mean.”

Turning to stare at Melissa, Naomi didn’t know what to say.

“No,” she said finally. “I guess I don’t. But he’s backed off since we came back from a trip with my grandmother and me.”

Ivy looked at the clock on the nearby wall. “Why don’t you think about that and let’s talk about it some more next week, Naomi?”

She began handing out some papers they were to do for “homework” for the next week. Naomi glanced at it and saw it was some kind of score sheet to fill out about how much they were worth.

“Too many women don’t value themselves,” Ivy was saying. “I want you to think about if someone isn’t valuing you as a person, maybe you’ve let them think you don’t value yourself.”

Naomi didn’t think she had that problem, but then again, John had seemed to treat her more like a commodity, like a person who existed solely for his needs.

“Ready to go?” Ivy asked her.

“Oh, sorry, I was just thinking.”

“Good,” Ivy said cheerfully, slinging a huge purse over her shoulder as they walked to the door. “I like a woman thinking about her choices.” She waved to the security guard by the door as she unlocked her car.

“I appreciate you giving me a ride.”

“No problem at all. I wonder sometimes if that’s why I don’t see more Amish women at our meetings. If you hear of anyone who needs to attend, let me know and we’ll arrange a ride for her.”

“I don’t know of anyone at the moment,” Naomi said honestly.

“Good. We have a full house these days what with how the economy is affecting couples.”

Before she knew it, Ivy was pulling into the driveway of her grandmother’s house. “I hope you found the group helpful enough to want to come back again next week.”

Naomi nodded. “I’d like that.”

18

T
hey were only a few miles from Leah’s house when Nick heard and felt a small explosion at the rear of the van.

“Nick? What’s the matter?” Leah spoke up from the back seat.

“A flat,” he decided, as he took his foot off the accelerator and gently tapped the brake.

He glanced in the rearview mirror to check for traffic before he flicked on the turn signal and pulled off onto the shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll have it changed in no time.”

“I wasn’t worried,” she said calmly.

Nick activated the emergency flashers and shut off the engine. The light drizzle that had started when he picked up his passengers at the shop dripped cold and wet on his head and shoulders.