The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (37 page)

Before I went to bed, Gabe came in with a manila envelope and handed it to me.

“What’s this?” I peek inside and see a bunch of papers.

“When Nico got out of rehab, he wanted to do something to help you with Nicola. You refused it when I asked you about child support, so about a month later, I started getting money orders from Nico. He’s been sending them every month since he got out of rehab. He also sent checks on her birthday, as well as yours.” I’m sure my mouth is hanging wide open. “In this envelope are money orders and checks. The grand total is around ten thousand dollars.”

“Ten thousand dollars? Is this a joke? All of those times you kept asking if I received any money from him and you didn’t tell. You let me believe that he didn’t send anything.”

Gabe admitted that he didn’t think I was ready to know about Nico’s checks in the beginning because I was still so raw. Nico wanted to make our lives easier or at least help pay for Nicola’s education.

I tried to call Nico to let him know we were home safe and to thank him for the money, but I had to leave him a voicemail. I made sure to text him the next day because I knew he was dreading going to his father’s funeral, but I’ve barely heard from him since then. When we have talked, he’s seemed distant.

I can’t help but worry about him going back to the way he was before. I know he promised he wouldn’t, but a person can’t go through something like what he just did and come out unfazed. It’s still semi-early in his recovery, so I’m not sure if he has a higher chance of falling off the wagon.

When Martine and I FaceTimed last, she looked fantastic and was getting ready for surgery the next morning. Nico called me to let me know that the surgery went well while Martine was in recovery. The preliminary reports said that margins were clear, which means they were able to get the entire tumor. I started to cry, and he just seemed distracted.

It didn’t take me long to get caught up at work. Thanks to Brian, I was easily kept up-to-date on my kids.

I try to concentrate on my work, but I can’t seem to focus on anything. I find myself staring out the window by my cubicle. Since I’m not busy, I’ve had too much time to think about Nico and the fact that he already seems to be losing interest.

Okay, so maybe that’s not true, but he’s pulling away from me—I can feel it. If I was there, I could at least be there for him in some way. Instead, I’m across the ocean, feeling helpless.

I shake my head and look down at the papers I was reading. Once I finish reading and writing reports, I log out of my computer and shut it down for the day.

I head to my brother’s house to pick up my little monster. Of course, it’s my fault she’s been that way. She’s always picking up on the mood I’m in. The last time Martine and I FaceTimed, which was the day before yesterday, we talked about her surgery and the fact that she was cancer-free.

Nicola sat in my lap, babbling to her
nonna
and then crying when Nico appeared on the screen. She kept calling for her papa
.
Even he looked like he was getting upset, but before I could talk to him further, he disappeared. Martine tried calling out to him, but he ignored her.

“Is he okay?” I didn’t want to ask, but he seemed off.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. He’s been pretty quiet since you left, and we attended their father’s funeral. I’ll watch him, okay?”

I hope she’ll be able to get through to him because I’m not sure what he needs.

When I get to Gabe and Jasmine’s, I knock on the door and wait for someone to answer. The door flings open, and Jasmine stands in front of me with a goofy grin on her face.

“What’s up with you? Have you been, you know…?” I pretend I have a bottle in my hand and act like I’m tipping it back and drinking it down. She laughs and shakes her head. “Well, what’s the deal?” She grabs my hand and pulls me inside. “You’re starting to freak me out.”

“A letter came for you today.”

Jasmine is practically skipping with her arm through mine into the family room. She lets me go and runs in the direction of the kitchen. Gabe is sitting on the floor with little Gabe in his arms and my baby girl is crawling back and forth across his legs.

“A letter from who? Do people still send letters?” I call out to her.

I’m standing next to their sectional when Jasmine comes back with the letter in her hand. I see the last name Bianchi on the envelope. She hands it to me, and I tear it open, unfolding the paper. My eyes immediately fill with tears.

My sweet beautiful Jill,

I’ve missed you every day that you and Nicola have been gone. I miss your beautiful smiling face and hearing my little girl call me papa. I know I’ve been quiet and distant lately and for that I’m sorry. There has been so much going on lately that it’s been a little overwhelming.

Mom is doing fantastic. I know she told you that she’s cancer-free now, and we’re all so happy about it. She misses her girls and loves Facetiming with you.

Gaia is still struggling with our father’s death, but mom’s convinced her to talk to a grief counselor, which has started to help. Mila just seems lost. I told her that maybe she should go to America just for a short time to get her head on straight. I know she’d love spending time with you and Nicola. Plus, she wants to get to know Gabe and meet Jasmine.

Ava’s been on us all about getting to know our half-brother and half-sister, but I told her she needed to stop trying to force it. Those kids just lost their dad. They need to deal with that first, then maybe we can get to know them.

They had sixteen years to make it right, but she waited until my father died to do anything about it. I’m not going to lie, but I called my old dealer I used to turn to when I lived in Italy and when I used to visit here as well, but I didn’t go through with it. I almost opened a bottle of wine, but after multiple attempts I put it away. I didn’t call and tell you right away because I wanted to make sure that I had the strength to say no and not turn to booze or drugs to deal with the stressors in my life.

I want to be the man that you deserve. I’m not my father, and I’d never throw you and our daughter away. For a long time, I pushed you away out of fear. Fear of hurting you and hurting our beautiful daughter and being a failure, just like what I felt our father was. I hurt you anyway and for that, I’ll always be sorry, but your forgiveness has given me the knowledge that I can be the man you need.

I plan on making you and Nicola and any future children we have happy for the rest of our lives.

All my love,

Nico

I dab at the tears that start to fall from the corner of my eyes, wishing my man was here so I could wrap my arms around him, hold him tight, and tell him that he’s strong, that he can get through anything.

“So, what do you think about me making you happy for the rest of our lives,
bella
?”

I scream at the top of my lungs, whirling around to find Nico standing right behind me. With a cry, I launch myself at him until my legs are wrapped round his waist. My lips are on his immediately, and I don’t even care that my brother is in the same room.

I pull my lips away from his. “When did you get here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I wanted to surprise you. I called Gabe, and he helped me set it up. Then he came and picked me up at the airport. I’ve been hanging out here all day with Gabe and the kids, waiting for you to come over.” He kisses me one more time before setting me back down on the ground.

I hug him again before I feel a tug on my leg and find my baby girl, who seems unhappy that her mommy didn’t get a chance to acknowledge her earlier. “Come here, princess. Were you a good girl today?”

Nicola starts chattering away and then points at Gabe with a big smile on her face. I blow raspberries on her cheeks. Nico takes her from me, hugs her, and gives me that smile of his that I love.

“Okay, guys. Well, we’re going to take off. I love you, you big jerk.” I hug Gabe. “You’re the best big brother ever,” I whisper.

We say our goodbyes and make plans for dinner tomorrow night.

We get in my SUV, and Nico drives us home. I know I’m staring at him as we drive back to my place, and that’s probably weird of me, but I can’t help it. My beautiful man is here in my car, driving us to my house, and our daughter is chattering happily in the backseat. We sit in a comfortable silence. I’m just glad he’s here.

We pull into my driveway. He grabs Nicola when we get out. I let us in and leave my messenger bag by the front door as I step inside. He follows behind me with a happy little girl in his arms. He sets her down on the living room floor and pulls me into a hug, followed by a kiss.

“Two weeks is too long to be away from my girls. I didn’t like it at all.” He kisses me again. “Never again, baby.” He picks Nicola up so she’s between us. “You and our little princess are my life. As long as I have you both, I don’t need anything else.”

The three of us stay locked together for a while. It feels so good, being in his arms again. We play with Nicola for a while until it’s time for her bath. I watch Nico disappear down the hall with her. Giggles come from the bathroom. I hear my phone beep and check the text message that just came through.

Martine: Sorry I didn’t tell you. I was sworn to secrecy
.

Martine is too cute. Like I’d get mad at what they did. I text her back.

Jill: That’s okay. I’m so excited! I can’t believe he’s here. Love you!

Martine: I love you too. We’ll talk soon.

I set my phone down and put dishes away from earlier. I make myself a cup of hot cocoa while I wait for Nico to finish bathing Nicola. After her bath, we go through Nicola’s nightly routine. She falls asleep almost immediately, so my guess is she had a busy day with her dad and uncle. I put her to bed while he locks up the house.

I step into the hall and find Nico waiting for me. I know that look on his face. He looks hungry, and my nipples harden in response. He backs me against a wall in my bedroom, caging me in with his arms. My breathing speeds up.

“You’re so sexy, Jill. I want to eat. You. Up.” He punctuates each word with a nip to my earlobe, then chin, and then my bottom lip. “Undo your pants, and let them fall to the floor.”

I do as I’m told and, with his help, step out of them. I want to take my shoes off, but he stops me and tells me to leave them. Thrill shoots through me.

He unbuttons my shirt button by button so slowly that I want to just grab both sides and rip my shirt open. When he finally reaches the last button, I want to cry out in joy.

As he peels my shirt off of me, he kisses a path down the middle of my stomach down to the apex of my thighs. I spread my legs a little more so he can lick and suck my clit. I moan into the air as he teases me again and again. He finally pushes a finger inside of me and twists it with a slight tapping motion. He triggers an orgasm that steals my breath.

He eases me down and then stands up, kissing my lips slowly and surely. He eases my mouth open with his tongue and begins to duel with mine. I feel us moving again. This time, my back hits my mattress. I spread my legs wide for him once he removes all of his clothes.

Our kisses are slow and lazy. I could do this all day, every day with him. He grinds his hard dick against me, and I moan into his mouth. Our bodies move together like we’ve memorized choreography. We move together with precision and passion.

I feel the pressure build again, and I hear the crinkle sound of a condom wrapper. Nico pulls himself away from me long enough to sheath himself and, in one swoop, he’s buried to the hilt.

My groan is long and loud. It feels like I’m being split in two.

“
Perfetto
,” he whispers.

At first, he barely moves inside of me, just enough to nudge my sweet spot. I lick and suck at his neck, and he picks up the pace. My teeth latch on to his pec, and I hold him in place while he moves his hips and drives into me more forcefully. I moan against his heated skin.

He reaches between us and starts rubbing my clit. He grabs my hair at the base of my neck and pulls my head back, attacking my mouth with a fierce hunger that detonates my orgasm. He swallows my cries and groans as I feel him jerk inside of me while he comes.

Nico collapses on me until both of our breathing begins to slow. He brushes my hair out of my face and kisses me. Then, he pulls out. I watch him as he gets out of bed and disposes the condom in the little trashcan before sliding back in bed with me and pulling me to lie across his chest.

We lie entwined with each other for a long time, just enjoying the moment until he finally speaks. “Baby, where do we go from here? Uh, I don’t really have a place to live. I sold my condo after rehab. I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I knew I didn’t want that place anymore.”

I’m actually relieved he got rid of that place. It holds too many bad memories. I kiss his chest and snuggle him. “Move in with us? I want us to be a family. Of course, after we have more kids, we’ll need a bigger place.”

He squeezes me after that statement. I can’t wait to give Nicola at least one or two more siblings. He doesn’t say anything for a long time. At first, I think he’s fallen asleep.