The Heartbreaker Series: Books 1-3 (35 page)

I grab Nicola and bring her into the bedroom with me, leaving Nico in the other room, alone.

“Baby girl, are you ready for another plane ride tomorrow?”

She claps her little hands together. Of course, she has no idea what I’m saying to her.

After I change her clothes, I throw on a pair of Capris and a cardigan. I don’t know what time we’ll get back here tonight, so I get out our clothes for tomorrow.

Martine let me do laundry at her place. It helped with how much I needed to pack, but still, packing for two people is difficult—especially when one of us is a baby. You never know how much stuff she’s actually going to need. The little stinkbug sometimes poops up her back, and I often end up needing to change her pants.

I lay our clothes out and quickly organize both suitcases. When that’s done, I turn and find Nico sitting on the end of my bed with Nicola in his lap. I don’t know how long he’s been sitting here, watching me, but even though I’m pissed at him, I love it when he’s near.

“What time are we leaving in the morning?” I ask.

Nicola and I will be flying from Perugia to Rome then to Detroit and finally home. Both layovers are around three hours. It’s difficult with a small child, but I let her run around and play when I can so she sleeps better. I’ll wait until Rome to decide if I need to give her anything to help her sleep.

“If we get there around nine, that’ll give you plenty of time to go through security and relax.” He’s quiet for a minute. Then he grabs my arm. “I wish you didn’t have to go. Fuck, I wish I could go with you.”

I clutch the front of his shirt. “You know I’d stay if I could, and I know you’d come back with me if you could.”

He grabs my face and kisses me passionately. “I love you, Jill. Don’t forget that. Ever.”

We head to his mom’s house. I hate but understand the subdued vibe that fills her home. Mila is here, but Gaia had to work. She’s going to stop by before we head back to the hotel.

I can tell that Mila’s been crying. Martine has dark circles under her eyes. Lorenzo may have been out of their lives for a long time, but it’s obvious that they never stopped loving him. They do a pretty good job pretending they’re okay for Nicola, but it’s still obvious that they’re hurting.

We end up watching movies all day and looking at pictures between each movie. It’s obvious that Nicola looks like Nico’s family. His strong genes come from his father’s side of the family. I wonder what his half-siblings look like. I’m sure they look just like Lorenzo.

Apparently, Lorenzo Jr. is sixteen and Alessa is thirteen. Martine was the one to call Ava and talk to her, which surprised me, but she said that it wasn’t the children’s fault that the family had a falling out. She’s a gracious woman. I certainly wouldn’t call it a simple falling out. It was a betrayal of epic proportions.

Between Mila and Martine, I haven’t had to do anything for Nicola. They’ve been doting on her since we got here. I’m going to miss these beautiful ladies. I do wish Gaia and I could’ve had more time to get to know each other, but at least she’s nicer to me now. I told Mila and Martine that anytime they wanted to come to America to visit they’d have a place to stay.

After dinner, I snuggle with Martine and Nicola on the sofa, and we find a movie to watch. After he finishes washing the dishes, Nico joins us and sits in front of me. Halfway through the movie, I realize my fingers have been sifting through his hair.

Martine hugs me into her side. “I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss this little girl.” She kisses Nicola’s head.

“We’re going to miss you too.” I want to ask about her ex-husband and what they’re going to do, but she looks so sad already, I don’t want to make it worse.

I hate the bad note our trip seems to be ending on. Sure, we were here to spend time with Martine while she started treatment, but we were making the best out of the situation. Now, the mood is heavy, and I hate that I can’t stay and support them.

I know Nico and his family could probably use the closure, but attending that funeral would mean they’d have to face ghosts from their pasts. I’m scared for Nico and his sobriety since it was his dad and Ava’s actions that triggered his alcoholism and drug addiction in the first place. I just pray that he’s strong enough to deal with everything.

Chapter Fourteen

Nico

Jill’s fingers glide gently through my hair and almost put me to sleep. She and my mom talk quietly as they snuggle together on the sofa. I grabbed Nicola from my mom a while ago, and now, she’s asleep in my lap. I hold her close and take in her baby scent, again wanting to commit it to memory. After tomorrow, I won’t get to see her except via FaceTime, and I hate it.

My sisters are waiting on me to decide what to do about our father. I think they want to go to the funeral and meet our half-siblings, but I’m not sure I want to. Ava had been six months along with Lorenzo Jr. when I found out he wasn’t mine. I was devastated by the news. I don’t know if I’m ready to see the kid.

I was the one who had to tell my mom what my father and Ava did. It was awful, and I hated seeing the devastation on my mom’s face. Just like me, she’d had no clue that anything was wrong. My mom had completely shut down for a while, so, being the man of the house, it was up to me to talk to my sisters about it and be there for them while they dealt with it.

Mila and Gaia were so young when everything went down. I know, just like me, they have their issues. Mila seems to stick with easy relationships with guys she can walk all over, and Gaia? Well, I don’t think she dates at all. It hits me in the chest that I’ll never get to tell my father that he broke us all when he betrayed us.

I look down at my sleeping daughter and feel my heart start to race. What if I do the same thing to her and Jill? I can’t even fathom throwing them away like my father did to me, my mom, and my sisters. He replaced us with a new wife and new kids.

Mila comes in, flops down next to me, takes Nicola from me, and snuggles her close. My daughter has been a balm to all of our souls and a much needed distraction for all of us.

I stand up and tell everyone that I’m going to start dinner. Jill stands up to join me. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, and we walk silently into the kitchen.

Jill helps me make the dough for the noodles and then starts making the meatballs for me. I whip up a quick marinara sauce. I dip the spoon into it and bring it up to Jill’s lips. “Here, baby, taste this.” She opens her mouth. I stick the spoon in it. The moan that leaves her lips makes my dick hard.

“It’s delicious,” she says and then licks her lips.

She smiles and then turns back to the bread that she’s cutting. I stand behind her, wrap my arms around her waist, and hold her tight. I don’t say anything, and neither does she. She just leans back and rests her head on my shoulder. I kiss her neck and tell her that I need to get everything ready to go.

“It all looks delicious. I’ll get the others.” I watch her retreating back as she heads to the living room and smile.

After dinner, Mom and Mila kick us out of the kitchen so they can clean it up. Jill and I take Nicola upstairs and bathe her since she got more sauce on her face than she got in her belly.

My girl loves playing in the water. Jill says that Jasmine and Gabe watch Nicola a lot when she’s working, and they always have her in their pool.

“She’s my little water baby,” Jill says. “When she gets a little bit older, I’m thinking about putting her in swim lessons, but we’ll have to see.”

I rinse Nicola off and hand her to her mom, who’s waiting with a towel open wide. Jill wraps it around her and wrestles our girl dry. We get her diapered and dressed and head back down into the sitting room, where my mom and sister are drinking an espresso.

“I’ll get us an espresso,” I say to Jill before I head down the hall.

It’s almost time to take them back to the hotel, but I don’t want to. When we wake up in the morning, we’ll be getting ready to head to the airport. Then, they’ll leave me.

I shake my head and drive those thoughts out. I don’t want our last night together to be spoiled by my sadness. I grab two cups and make espressos for both of us.

We all sit together, sipping our drinks. The mood is heavy—not only because I’m thinking about my father and his death but also because part of our family is leaving in the morning.

Nicola plays on the floor, oblivious to everything going on around her. She holds us all captive with her baby smiles and baby babbling. The tightness in my chest grows, making it hard to breathe as I watch her.

I love this little girl so much already. I fell in love at first sight one other time, and that was when I met her momma. Jill and Nicola own my heart, and I want nothing more than to be worthy of them and their love. The fact that Jill has forgiven me means a lot.

I look behind me and see my mom is fast asleep with her head on Jill’s shoulder. Jill is asleep as well. Mila watches them with a smile on her lips.

“Help me get them up?” I ask her as I stand up.

Mila helps me gently wake them and stand them up. I tell Jill it’s time to go. Immediately, my mom starts to cry and wraps her arms around Jill. Both women hold on tight to one another, talking in hushed tones. Every so often, I see Jill nodding her head.

I pick Nicola off of the ground and bring her to my mom. She kisses Nicola all over her face. As my mom cries while hugging Nicola, Mila and Jill hug each other tight.

My mom and sister finally let us make our way outside, but, of course, my mom is holding Nicola, insisting on strapping her in. She kisses her all over her little face again and then steps back so Mila can do it too.

My mom hugs and kisses Jill over and over before passing her off to my sister. I know Gaia wanted to be here, but she couldn’t get away from the hospital. We climb into my SUV and ride in silence back to the hotel.

As soon as we’re back at the hotel, I get Nicola ready for bed and rock her while she drinks her bottle. I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss her sweet baby scent and the way she smiles at me when I enter a room. I feel my eyes start to burn, but I don’t try to stop the tears that leak over. I have to send my girls back to America tomorrow, and I don’t want to.

I need Jill. I haven’t decided if I’m going to my father’s wake yet or if I’m even going to meet my father’s children with Ava. If I go, I’d feel better if Jill was by my side.

Once Nicola is out, I lay her down in her cot and cover her with a blanket. I move into the bedroom and find Jill passed out in bed. Her snores fill the room, and I smile.

I head into the bathroom, brush my teeth, and then quickly strip out of my clothes and climb into bed with Jill. I move her so her back is against my front, and I wrap myself around her. Lucky for me, I fall asleep almost immediately.

***

I wake up and know, right away, that I’m alone. I climb out of bed and throw on my pants and shirt. I step into the other room and peek in on Nicola, who’s still sleeping. The doors to the balcony are open, so I make my way to the balcony and find Jill standing against the half wall, staring at nothing.

I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her chest. “Good morning,
bella
. How did you sleep?”

“Morning.” She turns her head and kisses me under my chin. “I slept great, considering. Is Nicola still asleep?”

“Yes, she is. We should probably get her up so hopefully she’ll sleep well for you on the plane.”

While Jill orders breakfast and then jumps in the shower, I gently wake Nicola up. I change her diaper and grab the outfit that Jill laid out for her. Taking care of my daughter has definitely gotten easier. I love how snuggly she is when she first wakes up.

After she’s dressed, I give her a bottle, gather their stuff, and start making piles on the bed.

Jill comes out of the bathroom dressed and looking beautiful, as always, in skinny jeans, an oversized sweater, and black Chuck Taylor’s. She could wear sweatpants and a ratty sweatshirt and she’d still be sexy.

When breakfast arrives, we set it up at the table and dig in. “Is your brother picking you up at the airport when you get home?”

“Yep, he’s got my itinerary. He should be meeting us at baggage claim at ten o’clock tonight.” Jill takes a big sip of her coffee. “Have you decided what you’re going to do? Are you going to your dad’s service?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose if Mila, Gaia, and Mom want to go, I’ll take them so they don’t have to do it alone, but I honestly don’t think I want to. I guess I’ll just have to see what happens.” I look down at my watch. “We should probably get ready to head out.”

I grab Nicola and clean her up while Jill packs up the suitcases. Jill does a quick walkthrough to make sure she hasn’t missed packing anything.

We’re quiet as we head down to the car. I strap my girl in and then help Jill place the suitcases in the trunk. It takes us about twenty minutes to reach the airport. I pull up in the unloading zone and put the car in park.

Jill puts her sling on. I grab Nicola, help her get her settled in the sling, and then bring the suitcases over to the check in. Jill gets them checked in and takes the ticket the clerk hands her.

I grab her by her shoulders and turn her fully toward me. Her eyes are shiny, and if she starts crying, I may lose it.

“I love you so much, baby. Call me when you land. I don’t care what time it is.” I grab her face and kiss her, showing her all of the love that I have for her. Our tongues tease each other and duel lightly before I pull away and kiss her forehead. I bend down and kiss Nicola’s cheeks and forehead. “I love you, my beautiful little angel. Be a good girl for your mama
.
”

“Sir, you need to move your car,” an attendant says to me in Italian. I tell him I will right away.

“I have to go,” I say to Jill. She nods her head, and the tears start running down her cheeks. “I’ll miss you like crazy.”

“I-I’ll miss you too. I love you, Nico.”

She cries against my lips. I kiss her one more time. Then, I step back and watch her enter the airport. I feel like I’m watching my heart walk away from me.

I climb in my car and start it. It’s not until I’m a block away that I pull over and lose my shit. After I got sober, I became more emotional. Over a year later, it’s still true.

With my head on my steering wheel, I let the tears flow. I don’t take off toward home right away. Instead, I drive around until I get myself under control. I don’t need my mom worrying about me. She’s got enough on her plate.

I hope that things go well with my mom so that I’m able to rejoin my family in America sooner rather than later.