The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) (7 page)

Realizing how ridiculous I had been, I forced my eyes to meet the man’s again. As my vision became clearer, adjusting to the darkness around me, I could see that not only was he still looking at me, but he was also smiling.

I wanted to smile, wave, do something, but I could hardly breathe. He stood motionless for a moment, and then turned back to his work. I sat in my car for a moment before starting it. Could this really have happened? I rubbed my eyes wearily and buckled up.

The car sputtered, as if resisting my attempt to leave. I glanced at the man once more in my rearview mirror. Surely he wouldn’t finish the job in one night. Mrs. Henner said the men would be upgrading the Internet systems for at least the next couple of months. I would see my dream man again, but next time, I would have the courage to speak to him.

I edged toward the exit, already regretting my decision to leave without introducing myself. I was just about to pull out when I saw Hope running toward my car. She rapped on the window, and I unlocked the door for her.

“Phew!” Hope shouted as she hopped into the car. “I was talking to some fellow astrologers over there and didn’t even see you come out. I’m glad you saw me before you left. I would’ve been stuck here!”

“What are you doing here?” I laughed. “It’s late. Were you at the show?”

“I tried to be.” Hope looked down, visibly upset. “Austin got a flat on the way, and by the time we got it fixed, the show was over. Someone already locked the doors, or I would’ve come in. I could see you cleaning, and I tried knocking, but you couldn’t hear me. Austin needed to head home, so I figured I’d get a ride with you. I wanted to talk to you about how things went. I hope that’s okay.”

“Well, thank you. I did want to talk. I wish I’d seen you earlier.”

“I’m here now, a little freezing maybe, but here.” She bounced eagerly. “Do you want to do anything? Or maybe, if you’re too tired, you wouldn’t mind taking me home? We can chat on the way.”

“I am a bit tired, but something odd happened just a moment ago. As I was walking out to my car, I saw someone.” My voice trailed off as I thought about how silly I’d been. “He’s right over there.” I pointed to where the men had been, but they were gone.

“I don’t see anyone,” Hope admitted nervously, probably wondering if I had seen another ghost.

“He was just there, behind the tree. There were four men laying some cable, and…” I sighed in defeat. “Never mind.”

“Oh! Those men!” Hope laughed, startling me.

“So you did see them?”

“Yes,” she giggled. “Of course I did. They left, for their lunch hour, I think. What about them?”

“Did you see the tall one, with the dark hair and dimple?” I anxiously awaited her answer as I pulled onto the road.

“Alexander? Yes, what about him?”

“Is that his name? Alexander?” My heart began to race again. Hope knew who this person was.

“Yes. Alexander Welch. He’s in charge of setting up the new network system. Why?”

“I…” I hesitated, not sure how to say this without sounding insane. “He’s the one I’ve been dreaming about. I know him, but I’ve never actually met him.”

“I knew it!” Hope shouted and jumped in her seat. I struggled with the steering wheel, surprised by her outburst. Thankfully there were no other cars on the road as I swerved into the oncoming traffic lane.

“Knew what?”

“That Cooper wasn’t the one! I knew it! I knew it!” Hope continued to bounce in her seat, clearly beaming over something I didn’t understand.

“What do you mean, not the one?”

“It’s Alexander! Don’t you remember? The reading I gave you? I told you that Cooper would cause discord, and that the other man, the darker-haired one would be the person to balance you, to be your other half?”

“You mean this guy I’ve been dreaming about, you think he’s the one I’m meant to be with? I don’t even know him.”

Hope softened her posture. “Have I said too much?”

I laughed under my breath, but my mood had already lifted. “Maybe, just a little.”

“Sorry.” She looked down at the dashboard, still with a pleasant expression. “Sometimes I forget that most people don’t know how to listen to their inner voice. I can get ahead of myself.”

“That’s okay. I haven’t really learned to trust my gut yet. When Alexander walked toward me, I bolted. I can’t believe I did that.” I rubbed my head helplessly, not wanting to take my eyes off the road.

“Don’t worry, Aislinn. He’ll be here for a while. They just started the project. They do seem to work odd hours, but I’m sure you’ll run into him again.”

“They don’t work the same hours every day?”

“No, they don’t. They aren’t supposed to interrupt classes, so they have to come in at night, unless it’s vital that they work during the day. Sometimes, they have to work through the day, to test computers while the office doors are unlocked.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I’ve spoken with him a couple times. He’s showing my computer maintenance class how to set up a network. Ms. Pellington felt it would be a good opportunity for us. He seems like a nice guy, and I can see why you’d dream about him. He’s not that much older than we are, yet he has no trouble teaching a class full of people how to network.” Hope fiddled with my glove box as she spoke.

“I got the same impression of him,” I added. “My dreams of him when he was younger, in high school I think, were quite different, however. He seemed shy and kept to himself.”

“People can change, I guess.” Hope seemed completely distracted from the conversation now. Thankfully, we were pulling into her driveway.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Maybe.” She perked up suddenly. “I have some things to do tomorrow. We’ll talk soon.” Hope beamed as she got out of my car. “Thanks for the ride!”

“No problem,” I replied. The nagging feeling inside me made me shiver. Hope was acting strange, and I had no idea why. “Talk to you soon.”

I waited until Hope made it inside before turning around. The day had been strange enough for anyone. My head spun with all that had transpired.

By the time I reached home, my body ached with exhaustion. I barely got my sweats on before crashing onto the futon. My lights were out within minutes.

WHEN THE TIME COMES

O
ver the next couple of months, my desire to meet Alexander continued to grow, but my dark-haired friend always seemed to be gone whenever I was on campus. I came in early, showed up in the middle of the night, even asked the office for his schedule—which they refused to release—and I still had not seen him. All this left me clinging to Cooper for comfort, despite my growing awareness of how he felt toward Jaden.

After seeing them speaking at the art show, I knew that the way Cooper looked at her was not the way he looked at me. He was still in love with her, even if he refused to admit it. But while I knew about his feelings for Jaden, Cooper had no idea that I secretly lusted after Alexander.

More than I needed either man, I needed answers. Why, when Hope was so sure Alexander would be my other half, could I not find him? And why was I clinging to Cooper, when I knew he loved someone else? With Hope spending much of her time with Austin, I decided to reach out to my spirit guide for understanding.

I’d never tried contacting a guide before, so I mimicked what I’d seen on television and lit a blueberry candle. The sweet scent drifted through the air, tickling my nose as I focused on my breathing. My chest rose and fell with each calculated breath, and I allowed all my confusions to center in the front of my mind.

“To my guide in life and spirit, I need you. I need understanding. Who is Alexander? Hope is sure we’re meant to be together, that we are something special to one another, but I never see him on campus. And why can’t Cooper and I seem to let each other go? I know we aren’t right, but a part of me is so afraid to break up with him. Please, I need your guidance. Thank you for listening.”

By the time I was done with my attempt to contact him or her, I felt so tired my eyes burned. The softness of the pillow under my head made it impossible to keep my heavy eyes open, and I fell asleep.

***

Alexander led me down the hall and into my room. As he floated inside, I wanted to touch him, to reach out and grab him. But he moved just out of reach every time I got close enough.

He turned to meet my curious gaze, and I felt my heart catch fire. The burn rushed through me, but fear never entered my mind. The sensation was more pleasant. Like a burn of desire.

I reached out to him again, realizing that I was not entirely solid. The closer I got to Alexander, the more ethereal we became. Little pieces of me swirled into him, and bits of him swirled into me. The pieces came with a price, however.

The burn became a violent beating, like that of a powerful, deadly fan blade. I could feel nothing more than pain as the electrical impulses and beating blades of air hit us mercilessly. We were helpless to stop it.

“We must move closer together, Aislinn. Trust me!”

I shook my head. If being close hurt that much already, why get any closer? Was he insane?

Alexander moved toward me anyway. The rest of my skin turned into tiny speckles of dust and began to swirl into him. I had no control.

“Stop!” I shouted. “Please?”

Alexander quickly withdrew his essence. He looked at me apologetically but did not speak. I gasped and closed my eyes tight, frightened at the mere thought of what had happened.

He began to float away from me, and the knives of discomfort left with him. My breath would not come back to me fast enough. As I gasped, the tiny speckles that had left my body slowly returned.

***

I opened my eyes to see Alexander standing over me. As a scream escaped my mouth, he turned translucent and vanished. My head pounded, and I rubbed my eyes warily.

Alexander couldn’t have been in my room. It had to have been a remnant of my dream. I forced myself to get out of bed, but had difficulty standing. My body felt weak, flu-like. I stumbled into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face.

“Aislinn? Are you okay?” Mel’s voice sounded panicked.

“Yes, Mel, I’m fine.”

“I heard you scream.”

“I had a bad dream. Go back to bed. Sorry I woke you,” I managed to mumble.

I could hear Mel’s heavy breathing from the other side of the bathroom door. She didn’t sound like she bought my explanation. “I’ll be sleeping on the couch if you need me.”

“Night, Mel.”

“Goodnight.”

I fumbled my way back into bed, trying to pat out the lumps in the futon mattress. My pulse still raced with the memories of fan blades, electrical shocks, intense burning, and the ultimate question… What if people really could mix their essence, mix their energy?

By the next sleep-deprived morning, as usual, I was running late. The air held a nippiness that rattled my insides. I pulled my winter coat on tighter and headed out. Halfway through my drive, snow began to fall. Since I was closer to campus than home, I didn’t turn around.

When I reached the pottery room, my heart sank. There was a pink sheet of paper taped to the door. I knew immediately what it was. Classes were running late, which meant work was too.

I read the note anyway, just to be sure. Mr. Wellner would be in later in the day, once the snow trucks plowed his street. Had I watched the news before rushing out, I would have realized that snow was already falling in other areas, including where Mr. Wellner lived. Irritated over being on campus for no reason, I wandered over to Hope’s room.

My only wish was that she hadn’t seen the news either. At least then I could tell her about my dream and have a reason for being on campus so darn early. To my dismay, Hope was not outside her class. I waited anyway, realizing it would be another forty minutes before her class actually began.

I heard the chatter of a couple of students near the hall entrance, and I shifted my gaze to see if Hope was amongst them. My stomach twisted immediately when I saw the tall and slender Alexander standing in the doorway, muscles tight from the things he carried.

He didn’t see me. Not yet. My heart rate quickened, and my breathing became irregular. A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered my dream.

I watched Alexander as he bent over a large spool of cables. A few more students came through the door, and Alexander acknowledged them with a nod and a grin as they passed by. His eyes were open wide, showing much of their whites, and his smile revealed his dimple. He looked genuine, sincere in his greetings.

He grabbed some sort of cutter, and I watched with awe as he pulled out the cable with great precision. I had never seen anyone take so much time to do such a simple task, and it struck me as odd. Not that he appeared lazy, but in fact, quite the opposite. He seemed to care deeply about what he was doing, putting an extreme amount of effort into cutting the cable. It felt almost like watching a Buddhist monk.

When Alexander stood again, I felt a rush of tingling flow through me. He had on all black clothing, and knee-high boots with silver buckles. His t-shirt looked a little too small, and I could see that, despite being slender, he did not lack muscle.

Alexander reached around the corner to retrieve a ladder. His wavy black hair fell into his face. He brushed it away, nonchalant, and climbed the ladder to string the cable up through the ceiling.

My cheeks flushed as I watched him stretch to attach the end. His body flexed, and I could see the contours of his back and butt. Embarrassed to be getting so excited over watching a man string a cable, I decided my eagerness to introduce myself could wait until my face wasn’t the glowing red of a nasty sunburn.

The dream of Alexander had me rattled, and now that I had a chance to introduce myself, my apprehension seemed to be getting the better of me. The idea of him standing over me, watching me sleep as I dreamed of him, made me tremble.

I wanted to believe that seeing him in my room was still part of the dream, but the truth was, I didn’t know. That was why I needed Hope, why I couldn’t talk to him just yet. I needed to know if my dream had anything to do with what I’d asked my spirit guide.

After another ten minutes of waiting, Hope still hadn’t arrived, and Alexander began to clean up his mess. My heart thudded. I feared this might be the last time I would see him, and that fear urged me forward. I played with my hair as I approached him, feeling so nervous that I watched my feet so I wouldn’t trip over myself. When I reached Alexander, my eyes slowly ran up his back, noticing every curve and ripple.

I cleared my throat, trying to get his attention. Alexander turned, startled, and saw me only a few feet away. He beamed, and began to close the gap between us. I shivered involuntarily. The air had a strange feeling, rattling and vibrating me as if I stood underneath a helicopter.

Alexander stopped his approach when the thudding and rattling seemed to get worse. The feeling was odd, but also familiar, comfortable.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came forth but a sigh. Alexander was just about to say something when his workers walked in behind him.

One of the larger men bumped Alexander’s back in a playful manner, and knocked him forward. Ever so slightly, Alexander brushed my arm. The sensation was akin to my skin being sliced open by electrified razors. I withdrew, my squinting eyes revealing my terror.

“I’m sorry! Are you okay?” Alexander looked upset and reached for my arm, but I pulled away.

“Not sure,” I mumbled as I backed up. “Are you?”

“Yes, of course, but…” Alexander shook his head. “I didn’t mean to. I was trying not to touch you.”

“Why?” I asked without thinking. The men behind Alexander seemed just as confused by his behavior as I was.

“Sorry, but I have to go.” Alexander took one of the men’s arms, dragging him along. The man laughed, but struggled to keep up.

“Wait! What do you mean you were trying not to touch me?” I shouted anxiously as he strode away, but Alexander never turned around.

After my odd dream of Alexander, and now this, I had no idea what to think. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what had happened. Dazed, I merely stood there, alone in the hallway.

Eventually, I headed for photography. If Cooper was there, I knew his distaste for the supernatural would snap me out of my head spin. I found Cooper pacing in front of the door. As soon as he saw me, he approached and took my arm.

“Class is canceled. Can we go somewhere and talk? I need to speak with you.” He seemed odd, hurried. His shoulders were slumped forward as if a heavy weight hung over him.

“I know class is canceled. What’s wrong with you?” I tried to protest as he led me to his car.

“It won’t take too long.” Cooper’s eyes darted back and forth, as if he was looking for someone.

We got into his car, and he started it immediately.

“Where are we going?” My voice cracked as I realized Cooper’s behavior was not trustworthy. Something was very wrong.

He didn’t answer.

Eventually, Cooper pulled into the gravel parking lot that sat at the end of a trail leading into town. He took a deep breath and put his hand on mine, hesitating before he spoke.

“I have something to tell you.” A very long and uncomfortable silence followed. “Something happened, and I wanted you to hear it from me first.”

“Okay,” I replied in a questioning manner.

“Last night, I ran into Jaden. After you told me about her rape, I decided to talk to her about it. She not only admitted that it happened, but also who did it. Maybe I shouldn’t be sharing this, but I trust you, so please keep this to yourself.” He hesitated, shifting his eyes to the dashboard. “Her parents sold her, Aislinn. They sold their daughter’s virginity to my dad’s best friend. I don’t know why they did it, but she swears that’s what happened. After learning the truth about what happened to her, I realize that I’m still in love with her. And… we slept together last night.”

I sat staring at the trees beyond the gravel parking lot. They were swaying in the breeze, the green branches floating into one another as if they were holding hands.

“Aislinn?” Cooper turned my face to his. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” I knew all along that he had been in love with her, even when he didn’t, but my heart still felt the sting of rejection.

“I didn’t want you to hear it from Jaden. I wanted to tell you. Neither of us wanted to hurt you.” His concern surprised me.

“Did they really sell her? Are you telling me the truth?”

“Unfortunately,” he sighed, “I am. See, the reason Jaden freaked out was because when we were about to make love, she saw the picture behind me. It was taken while my parents were on vacation in Mexico. The man who raped her was in the photo.

“That was why she over-reacted, and why she shut me out. It was like, even when she found love, the asshole wouldn’t leave her alone. He was always taunting her somehow, whether in her mind or in a photo. When she went to her parents about it, they denied her allegations, even though they knew she’d been raped. Their bizarre behavior made her dig, and what she found… Let’s just say when she gets more proof, her parents are screwed.”

Nothing but silence filled me as I thought of what she had been through. It didn’t make sense. They had everything. Why would they have sold her? I knew they’d lost money in the stock market, but to sell their daughter? Would they really do such a thing?

“Are you okay, Aislinn?”

“No,” I admitted. “I don’t like the fact that you had sex with her before breaking up with me. Nor do I relish the part about you not loving me, but I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve known for some time now that you still loved her, and I should’ve left you the moment I realized it.”

“I don’t know what to say.” He put his hand on mine again.

“Don’t say anything else, Cooper, please. I just need to be alone for a bit.” I turned to him, letting him see the pain in my eyes. I reached for the car door.

“Where are you going?” Cooper’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Into town. The transit can take me back to campus. I saw one running this morning.” I met his eyes. “Please, just leave me alone.”

“But…” Cooper let go of my hand, looking exceedingly guilty for making me feel such grief. I didn’t want to tell him that the sadness only had a small part to do with him. The rest had more to do with Jaden’s rape entering so vividly into my mind again, and the fact that it hurt to touch Alexander. What good would it do to be with a man whom I couldn’t touch?