The Hazing Tower (5 page)

She reached into her coat and felt for her gun. It didn’t matter at this point. Dying in a filthy alley was still better than in a hospital bed. She figured death didn’t give you much choice of where or when. Maybe she could control the when. She looked at Zoey. Crazy hungry cat. She loved that cat. She started to unlatch the cage.

“Nikki?” She heard a man’s voice. She looked up, her eyes were blurry with tears. She could see only shapes.

“My God, is that you?” The man asked.

She felt someone sit next to her. Then she saw him. It was
homeless man,
well, she never knew his name. He had been on the streets for years. Even back when she was a street cop he was here. She had brought him hot coffee a couple of times.

“Hi, it’s me, yes.” Nikki replied.

“What’s happened to you, girl?”

“I’m dying.”

“Shit. That sucks. Not fair it isn’t, not a nice girl like you.”

He pulled a huge trench coat over her and Zoey. “You’re cold as ice, girl. This coat’s dirty as hell, but it’s warm.”

“Thanks. Hey I never got your name, you know back when I was a beat cop and all.”

“Bill. And you were always good to me. You never looked at me like I was dirt. Like everyone else does.”

She smiled. She never thought she was better than anyone else.

“That your cat?”

“Ya, Zoey,” She tried to stop crying. “I was going to drop her off, at a friend’s house. The cabbie kicked me out, called me a crackhead.”

“Forget him! You wait here girl. Today I help you.” He left the warm coat on her and was gone. She saw him talking to a guy at the corner. The man pulled out a cell phone and started to make a call.

He walked back to her. “Give me your hand. Let me help you up. Can you walk?”

“A little.”

He lifted her up; he was actually a lot stronger than he looked. “Sorry, I know I stink.”

“You don’t stink. Look at me, I’ve got blood all over me; I’m not contagious, you know.”

“My dear girl, you think I care? Did you forget I was in Iraq? I saw more blood than this whole city could hold.”

A cab pulled up right next to them and screeched to a stop. The driver jumped out and opened the door.

“Nikki, this is my friend from way back, from the war. He will take you wherever you want. No cost, this one is on me, girl.”

She was speechless. She hugged him as hard as she could and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Bill. You are a kind person.”

“Aww— don’t be getting all crazy on me now. You do what you have to do, make it right. I will see you in heaven, OK? Bet on it!”

She sat inside and the driver softly closed the door.

“Anywhere you want, like the man said. You just say the word and you are there.”

“Thank you. She gave him the pawn shop address and they were off.”

They pulled up at the shop. She started to open the door when she coughed up more blood. “Fuck it!” she said out loud.

“Hey, miss. You don’t want to go in there like that. They will con the hell out of you. They can smell desperation a mile away.”

He was right, of course. They would give her nothing for the ring; they would smell her weakness like a panther stalking its prey.

She pulled out the box and opened it, handed it to him. “Will you sell this for me?”

His eyes opened wide. “You trust me with that!? Damn girl, are you crazy?”

“I trust you.”

His eyes softened, he looked sad now.

“Sure. I will get you a good price. I will leave the engine running, it’s cold out.”

She put her head down and tried to think. Zoey purred softly. The warmth felt good. It was getting closer now. She could feel it. It was a weird sensation.

He jumped back inside the cab and handed her an envelope. “I didn’t take any, it’s all there.”

“I know you didn’t. I really do trust you.”

“Ya, you might be crazy, but Bill is right, You are top notch, girl, one of the few good ones. And trust me, I’ve seen the bad.”

So have I,
she thought to herself.

“Next stop?”

She gave him Dianne’s address and they were on the road.

They stopped down the block from Dianne’s house. Close enough that Nikki could see, but not be seen. She waited while the driver quickly dropped Zoey’s cage and the envelope of cash on her doorstep. And one other thing; the file on mystery man. He rang the bell and ran.

She watched. She teared up at the sight of Dianne. She wanted so badly to say goodbye. But not like this, not covered in her own blood.

Dianne looked around and then down at Zoey. She picked the envelope off the top of the cage and opened it. She could see her say something, but couldn’t hear. She went back inside with Zoey.

The driver jumped back into the car. “We good?”

“Yep.”

“Next stop?”

She handed him a note with the directions.

“Way out there? You sure?”

She nodded.

They drove to a remote part of the city. Well, it wasn’t really part of the city itself. Mostly abandoned buildings and burnt-out cars.

“You gonna be safe out here by yourself? No one comes out here anymore.”

“I will be fine. Someone is meeting me here later.”

“Out here? OK. No questions.” He smiled and helped her out of the cab.

“Thank you for taking me all over the city.”

“My pleasure,” he hesitated and then slowly drove off.

• • •

Alex.
She couldn’t help thinking about him as she made it to the top floor. Maybe Dianne would follow up, solve the mystery. Nikki loved mysteries. At one point she thought she would make a good detective, even taking the test and all. But life took her on a different path. And now this.

She remembered his face, his eyes. He seemed kind. Not so many people like that anymore. She had met a few today. She would miss those people. Alex. She said it out loud. The top level had an old penthouse that was still in fairly good condition after all these years. It even had furniture, almost like the room had been sealed in time. She pushed open the old door. The wind was stronger now; it probably wouldn’t be long before the rain started.

She took off her shoes and walked to the ledge. The wind started to really howl now. For the first time, she finally understood. How many hundreds of times had she stood on other ledges, trying to understand what went through the minds of people before they jumped? She thought she knew. She had been wrong.

It wasn’t a rush. It wasn’t a sense of relief or happiness. It was the end. It felt empty, hollow. She had nothing; no one loved her. No children, no husband. This is what they felt. Hopeless. Tears rolled down her face as the reality set in, the reality that so many others had come to understand as they stood at the edge. She was a jumper now. She was one of them, and no one would be here to rescue her tonight.

Hopeless.

The wind seemed like a hurricane now. Why was she hesitating? Her life was already over. She took the step.

“Nikki, not now. I can help you!”

He held her wrist hard. It felt like a metal vice.

“Alex? What the hell! Where did you come from?” The storm was getting louder and it started to rain. She could feel the sting of the cold water on her skin.

“I saw you! Your picture. I mean, it must be your relative? Sixty-eight years ago! You were never on the squad. Just let me go. Please, let go of my arm.”

“Nikki, let me explain. I have so much I want to tell you. Will you give me that chance? Just for a moment in time — that’s all I ask.”

Her whole body was covered in goose bumps now; the rain was turning into ice.

“Who are you? How did you find me here?” She wondered if this was the drugs. How could he be here? It wasn’t possible.

Before he could answer, a huge gust of wind grasped the two of them, dragging her face forward off the ledge. She felt herself swinging.
SMACK!
She hit the side of the building hard. She heard her arm crack. She was dangling. Alex somehow was holding onto the ledge with one hand, while the other gripped her arm. As she looked up, the rain soaked her face and blurred her eyes.

“Alex! Let go! Let me go or we both fall! Damn you! Let me go! I’m already dead, don’t you get it? I’m dying!”

She felt her body being pulled up. It couldn’t be; even a strong man wouldn’t have the strength, let alone one in his precarious position. She saw fear in his eyes — not for his own life, but for hers.

The rain became a raging storm, pelting her like small bullets.

“Grab it! Grab the ledge, Nikki!”

She took hold of the ledge and he somehow pushed her up. She lay on her side, completely drenched. He was farther below her than she expected. What had she done? “Alex! Grab my hand, grab it now!” She could see his hand slipping as the rain turned the surface into slick ice.

Then he was gone.

“No! God, no!”

She tried to stand up, but the wind and rain made it impossible. She looked down and saw only black. She blinked her eyes and tried to refocus. Blue, green, colors like a rainbow. She must be hallucinating. Her skin felt electrified. The air below turned bright red.
BOOM!
The blast was enormous. She was blown backwards through the penthouse window as all the glass shattered around her. She found herself lying flat on her back, covered in glass. Again —
CRACK!
Like a sonic boom she had heard as a child at an air show. The plaster in the room covered her face in a white dust.

She stared up at the ceiling. White plaster fell like a soft snow. It became so quiet, or maybe just she had lost her hearing.

Alex had just died trying to save her. She started to cry. She stumbled to her feet, but fell back. Glass was everywhere, cutting her hands, digging into her skin. She crawled to the door and grabbed the rail. She saw shapes, only blurry shapes. Her vision was all messed up.

She grabbed the stair rail and started the long trip down. Her left arm was broken, she was sure. She was on so many painkillers she didn’t even feel it, but she knew, and the painkillers were already wearing off. It seemed a lifetime passed by the time she reached the ground floor.

She pushed her way outside. It was a driving rain, and the wind was incredible. Walking to the center of the street she dropped down and looked up. He would have fallen here. He must have—

The glare of car headlights lit up the street. She turned and was inches from the front of a car. It must have almost run her down. She felt herself being lifted up. She still couldn’t see well; the drugs were wearing off and the pain was incredible.

She was in a car. It was warm; the rain was gone. But the pain was so intense and she blacked out.

It was suddenly light again. She slightly opened her eyes and saw him. Alex! They were in his car? She tried to move, nothing. The pain screamed at her like an angry animal. He looked sad; she could see it in his eyes. Then she saw the syringe he was holding. His nose was bleeding; he was hurt.

“Alex, is that you?”

Nikki could feel tears in her eyes. She wanted so badly to die, but not like this. She had been wrong about him. He was crazy. But why? How? It didn’t make sense. He had just saved her life moments earlier, but to what end? To now kill her?

“I would never harm you. You’re going to be fine, Nikki. Don’t move. Promise me you won’t give up.”

She tried to focus on him. Did she see a tear? She didn’t expect it to end like this, actually wanting him to kill her. But she did. The pain was beyond comprehension now. How she died at this point was meaningless. She had wanted to go out on her own terms, not like this. The pain told her to shut up and die, and it was right. She closed her eyes.

She felt the needle go into her arm. The pain was gone.

• • •

Hugging the wall, she moved down the hallway. What was this place? It was huge. Everything was wood. Expensive-looking paintings covered the walls. She realized she was barefoot, maybe that was better, she thought. No one could hear her.

“Miss, you’re awake!”

She almost jumped out of her skin. She spun around. It wasn’t Alex, but an older man, dressed in a perfect looking suit.

“Stop! I’m a cop, I will cut you to shreds,” she warned the man, holding the scalpel firmly.

“Oh, miss! No, I wouldn’t.”

“Listen up! Where is he? Where is Alex!”

“He went out, miss. Do you want to wait for him?”

Wait! Another crazy shit. “Don’t move. Give me your cell phone, slowly.”

“I’m sorry, miss, I don’t have a cell phone; we have no reception here.”

“Shut up! Give me your car keys then. Now!”

“Oh, of course. I don’t have a car; however, Sir Alex, you can borrow one of his. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. But you must be weak.”