The Hairdresser Diaries (31 page)

“You use to cut Cole’s hair?” I asked even though I had a bad feeling that was not the kind of customer she was referring to.

“Uh, no, at my other job,” she smiled slyly.

“I knew it!” Peyton said a little too loud and I shot her a shut up look.

“Your other job?” I asked hesitantly, knowing I really didn’t want to know the answer.

“Yeah, I’m a dancer.”

So that’s what they call themselves now, dancers. Didn’t know stripping was an art. I looked back and forth between Cole and Bambi. She still had that come hither smile on her face and Cole was looking more and more nervous each minute.

I finally turned to Cole and said, “So, regular, huh.” His eyes pleaded with me not to start a fight. “You know what; I don’t think I do have time right now, so I think you should take Nala home,” I said with my lips pressed flat and my arms crossed.

“I can do it,” Bambi volunteered.

My eyes filled with rage and Cole jumped in quickly and told her it was okay he needed to take Nala home. He tried to give me a kiss, but I turned my head. Sensing my anger, he knew better not to press his luck and he left. I looked at Peyton and went straight out back as she followed.

“I told you she was a…”

“Not now Peyton.” I took my ring off and put it in my pocket. Peyton looked at me with sad eyes, but knew better. She kept her mouth shut. I might be over reacting, but I didn’t care. I needed time to cool off and think.

“It’s not that big of a deal…” I glared at her. “Guys go to strip clubs all the time,” Peyton said.

“She said he was a regular.”

“She also said she hadn’t seen him in a while.”

“Why are you defending him?” I snapped.

“Look, don’t get mad at me because you’re pissed off at Cole. Talk to him and find out the whole story.”

Wanting to end this conversation, I didn’t say anything else. I definitely was going to talk to him, but it would have to wait. Not wanting to get upset about it at work I went back inside to wait for my client.

I guess Bambi felt the need to say something to me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I’m kind of use to it though, this stuff happens all the time,” she said as though it wasn’t a big deal.

“I’m sure it does,” I said snidely.

She wasn’t as dumb as I thought she was. She took the hint I wasn’t looking for an apology and kept her mouth shut. I was no longer in the mood for a warm welcoming and Peyton…well she was Peyton. Alex was the only one who talked to her the rest of the day.

I finished up my day and left without saying a word to anyone. I hadn’t calmed down like I thought I would.

When I got home, I slammed the door, and threw my purse on the table. I wasn’t looking for a fight, but I was prepared for one.

Cole stood there, leaning against the kitchen counter while I paced back and forth. “You know, I don’t care about the fact that you went to a strip club or that you know…Bambi.” It was so hard to say her name and be serious. Really, why would you name your kid that?

I stopped pacing and looked at Cole. “The part that pisses me off is that she called you a regular…a regular. Meaning you’re a frequent flyer at her little club.” Cole moved to say something, but I held my hand up, not ready for his excuses yet. “And her of all people? She’s not even pretty. She’s got more plastic than Barbie.”

“Alright Tatum that’s enough,” he said bitterly.

“You’re going to defend her now? Tell me Cole, what exactly was it you were a regular for? Just to see a show? Lap dances?

Private Dances?”

“I’m not going to stand here while you yell at me for something I did a long time ago,” he said angrily.

“You can’t even tell me what it was, why not?” I stared at him.

“You really want to know.”

“Yeah I want to know and the truth, all of it!”

He took a deep breath.“It was when I first got here. Tommy was missing home so I took him out and we went to the club. It wasn’t something I was proud of, but I thought I could do anything and why not I had the money to.”

This was not making me feel better.

“I didn’t care about anything or anyone and yes I was the spoiled little rich kid you first thought I was and I played the part well.”

I was starting to regret wanting to know the truth.

“Our first night there, as soon as I flashed my money, they gave us everything and anything we wanted. Lap dances, private dances.”

I didn’t want to hear anymore, I turned away, but he stood in front of me forcing me to listen and look at him.

“I thought I was the shit and loved the power that money gave me. So I went back. Knowing I could get or do anything I want there. It became an obsession and I was drinking every night. I was lonely and it was the one place I knew no one cared. I had everything in life money could buy…except…love.”

“Apparently you can buy that too,” I spit the words in his face and he grabbed me making me jump. He was angry, very angry.

He looked down and when he looked up I saw pain in his eyes.

“I’m not proud of who I was then…I was a different person and no, I knew I couldn’t buy love, but I could buy their pretend affection. Tommy was the one who helped me and suggested we go to the club where I met you.”

A tear spilled down his cheek. “The night I met you changed everything. You changed the person I wanted to be.”

“I’m so glad I was able to stop you from being a pervert,” I said sarcastically.

He looked at me, rage filled his eyes. He turned around and knocked everything off the kitchen table then flipped it over.

I froze, scared, never seeing this side of Cole before. He turned to me, chest heaving, fists clenched. Nala started to growl at him and he turned on her.

“No!” I yelled and grabbed her.

Cole grabbed his car keys and took off.

I fell to the floor looking around in horror. Nala sat by my side and nudged me with her nose. I crawled across the floor, my stuff was scattered everywhere, and I searched for my phone. I found it and called Tommy.

“Tommy?” I said crying.

“Tatum what’s wrong?” I could hear Jessie in the background.

“It’s Cole. We got into a fight and he freaked out. He flipped the table over and left.”

“Don’t worry Tatum I’ll find him and I’m going to send Jessie over okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” I hung up the phone and sat there in the middle of the kitchen floor with my arms wrapped around my knees.

I couldn’t tell you how much time had passed until Jessie got there. I was still sitting in the middle of the floor, staring into space, with Nala at my side.

Jessie touched my shoulder and I jumped. “It’s just me,” she said putting her hands up. “What happened?”

“We were arguing about how Cole knew the new stylist.”

“The stripper?”

I looked at Jessie wondering how she could have known that. Then I realized as we both said, “Peyton.” She helped me up from the floor and I went to the fridge and grabbed a beer and offered one to her. Then we sat outback and talked.

“Why did he get so angry?” she asked.

“I don’t know? I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“Were you a smartass?” I cocked my head to side. “Of course,” she said and I nudged her with my foot and laughed a little.

“It wasn’t that, he’s used to that. It was something else, something set him off.” I pondered what it could be for moment, but came up with nothing. I told Jessie everything that was said and what exactly happened. I think this was the first time she didn’t have any snappy comebacks.

I stepped inside to get us more beer when Jessie’s phone rang. I came back out and she told me it was Tommy and handed me the phone.

“Hey, I found him. I’m going to let him crash at my place and keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you Tommy.” I handed the phone back to Jessie. She continued the conversation with ‘no’s’ and ‘uh-hums’ and I just looked at her. Finally, she hung up the phone and looked at me sincerely. “As soon as Cole passes out, Tommy’s going to come over and talk to you.”

“About what? There’s nothing he can say that’s going to make this okay.”

Jessie didn’t argue with me and we waited patiently until Tommy arrived. When he got here he helped me turn the table upright and then both he and Jessie helped me pick the stuff off the floor.

“What was the reason Cole told you he moved here?” Tommy asked.

“He said because he liked it here and wanted to make sure you were okay.” The look on Tommy’s face told me that wasn’t the real reason. “Okay what’s going on?”

Tommy looked at Jessie and she nodded at him to tell me.

“Cole had a real big drinking issue,” he began. “He would go out and party all the time, blow money left and right, and sometimes bring a different girl home every night. His parents got fed up with him wasting his life away and cut him off saying he had to learn some responsibility. They suggested he come visit me. They were hoping I would rub off on him.”

“If they cut him off, where is he getting all this money?”

“Cole’s very smart, he made friends with all the right people whom he knew could help him out, but he ended up getting in over his head. Once he tapped out all his friends he started borrowing money from all the wrong people and couldn’t pay it back. When his parents found out they gave him a choice. They said they would help him out, but he would have to go to rehab and start doing something with his life. They unfroze his accounts so he could pay back what he owed. Cole wouldn’t agree to go to rehab. So they kicked him out and he moved here, but not before he cleaned out his accounts.”

My head was spinning from all this new information. I didn’t know what to do with. “So why the freak out though?”

“When Cole first got here, he was still the partier. I had a bad day and he took me out. At first it was just a one-time thing, but then Cole got bored, like he always does, and kept going back. At first it was just a way for him to pass the time. He had no job, no girlfriend, kids or anything to worry about. Then it became a constant thing. He was drunk every day, slept all the time. He started to fall into a really dark place. Going to the club made him realize the one thing he didn’t have. The one thing he wanted. He wanted someone that loved him, someone that wanted to be with him and take care of him. He went there all the time, because, even though he knew the girls only pretended to love him, it was better than nothing at all.”

“I don’t think I want to hear anymore.” I stood up and walked out back.

Tommy followed me. “Tatum, I’m sorry. I’m only telling you this so you know the truth. Cole’s not that guy anymore.”

“He sure acted like that guy tonight.”

“Look, after I saw Cole slipping, it reminded me of my dad.”

I had forgotten the story Cole had told me about Tommy’s dad and gave him an apologetic look.

“I told Cole I didn’t want to lose him like I did my dad and if he didn’t get it together soon, he’d end up the same way. He didn’t like that so much and attacked me, saying he was nowhere near anything like my dad. I threw him off of me and into a wall. Cole doesn’t get angry often but when he does, he has a bad temper, I’m not going to lie. But Tatum, Cole would never hurt you, and he would never lay a hand on you.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” I asked even though I knew deep down he wouldn’t.

“Because after the night he met you, everything changed. He stopped drinking all the time, stopped wasting his money and his life. The one thing that kept him straight, kept him hoping, and finally made him realize there was a reason worth living. It was you.”

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to be that person. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for holding someone together when I couldn’t even keep myself together.

“I think the reason Cole flipped out tonight was because all that stuff brought back the memories of his dark days, before you, and he was scared he might lose you and end up back where he left off.”

I looked at Tommy, “Thank you, for finding him and coming over and telling me the truth, but right now I think I just need to be alone.”

“I understand. If you need anything…anything at all, don’t hesitate to call.”

I forced a smile and gave Tommy a hug and kiss and walked both him and Jessie out. I locked the screen door and used the dead bolt tonight. I went upstairs with Nala, crawled into bed, and cried myself to sleep.

Cole called me the next day, but I still wasn’t ready to talk to him so I didn’t answer. I went to work like always and kept to myself.

It made it hard, especially since Bambi worked right next to me. Every time she talked or did anything I wanted to punch her in the face. I get can’t really get mad at her though, it was Cole who frequented the club she just happened to work at. I still ignored her, the best I could.

By the end of the week nothing changed. Cole called me every day and I ignored eahc of his calls. Then on Friday, in the middle of my work day, I snapped. No one filled up the shampoos and I flipped out for no reason. Teresa sent me home and told me not to come back until I could get a grip.

I left and decided to pick up some odds and ends at Wal-Mart before I headed home and I ran into Tommy and Jessie.

“Hi, Guys,” I said to them.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Tommy asked.

“Great.” I lied and Jessie knew it.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” she asked.

“I got done early.”

Jessie watched me, not believing a word I said.

Some girl came up to me and asked, “Does this gum taste good?” she held up the package.

“Do I look like I work here? Do I look like a god-damn gum expert?” I snapped.

Jessie quickly stepped in and apologized to the girl who stood there dumbstruck. “She forgot to take her meds today,” Jessie said to the girl and turned to me. “What the hell is going on with you?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Uh, yeah, I can see that. How about we take you home?”

She gently pushed me down the aisle and I stepped aside. “I’m not a child.”

“Then stop acting like one. Clearly you’re having issues that you don’t want to deal with.” I stared at her with my arms crossed annoyed and she said, “You need to talk to Cole.”