The Guarded Heart (8 page)

Chapter 21

September 2013

Babies were definitely more enjoyable than children, Clint decided as he watched Violet drool on Ryder. He was laying on his back and holding her suspended above him as she sucked on her fist and she giggled maniacally as her brothers screamed and chased each other around a swing set. Clint would have enjoyed watching Ryder and Violet if Shannon wasn’t so intent on grilling him. The brightly colored quilt they were lounging on was beginning to feel like an interrogation room.

“Do you want to have kids?” She asked and Clint shook his head quickly.

“No,” he admitted and she raised a brow. “Your kids are adorable and you seem like a great mom but I don’t think kids would fit with my life,” he said and Shannon narrowed her eyes as she waited for him to explain. “I keep really crazy hours on the weekends. I’m out until early in the morning two or three nights a week and I go out of town regularly. And I don’t like it when anything’s out of order in my house,” he said.

“He’s always telling me to get my feet off his ottoman,” Ryder added and Shannon laughed.

“Kids don’t fit into your life, you build your life around your kids,” she said.

“Shannon,” Ryder scolded and she shook her head dismissively.

“Ryder loves kids,” she announced and Clint’s brows pulled together.

“I know,” he said as he looked at Ryder. “But he’s around them all day at school and he spends a lot of time with yours,” Clint argued and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s not the same,” she said and Clint was about to ask why when Ryder placed his bare foot on the side of Shannon’s arm and pushed her over.

“Knock it off,” he said. “Clint’s being patient and making an effort. Stop being such a shrew,” Ryder said and she pulled a face as she sat back up.

“I just think it’s important for him to keep that in mind,” she stated and Ryder chuckled as he laid Violet on his chest and began playing with her feet.

“There’s no point in him worrying about that right now,” Ryder said as he shut his eyes and grinned. “I plan to lose interest in him in a year or so and find someone more domestic to settle down with,” he announced and Clint laughed despite the cold ache that spread in his chest and the clenching of his stomach.

Chapter 22

August 2015

“I have a confession,” Shannon mumbled as she dropped onto the couch next to Ryder and he raised a brow and waited. She bit her lip as she searched his eyes and he knew she was deciding if she really wanted to go through with it. He elbowed her and she gasped. “This Jonathan guy messaged me a few days ago. He says he has a box of things you left at Clint’s. Clint wants him to give them to you,” she said and Ryder didn’t know what to do with his face and he couldn’t feel his heart beating. He didn’t want to see or talk to Clint but it kind of sucked that he would send his boyfriend instead of trying to see him again.

“What did you say?” He mumbled and her head pulled back in confusion.

“Uh… I told him he could put that box directly up his ass,” Shannon said and a laugh burst from Ryder’s throat.

“Don’t do that,” he scolded and she pursed her lips and glared at him. “If he asks again, tell him he can leave it on my doorstep or drop it off at the office,” Ryder said and she looked unsure.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” She asked. “He sounds like a total bitch,” Shannon warned and Ryder shrugged.

“Clint wouldn’t have asked him to do it if he thought Jonathan would do anything uncivilized,” he said and Shannon rolled her eyes.

“I think you give him way too much credit,” she grumbled and Ryder shook his head.

“He’s a really good person, Shannon,” he insisted and she snorted. Ryder flicked her nose. “
We
had issues and weren’t right for each other. That doesn’t make him a bad person. You don’t know what his life was like,” Ryder explained. “He’s found a way to cope with his past and is comfortable with who he is. I respect and admire him for it but that wasn’t going to work for me,” he said and she wrapped her arms around his ribs and rested her head on his chest.

“What about the other guys?” She asked and he waited for his stomach to stop churning.

“I know he didn’t willingly or knowingly cheat on me,” he said and she frowned up at him.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Shannon asked and Ryder wrinkled his nose.

“I don’t want to get into that. He was just available to other guys in ways he wasn’t to me and I wanted him to be exclusively and openly mine. Clint’s never going to be comfortable with that and I can’t hold it against him. He’s entitled to his feelings and shouldn’t have to defend them,” he said and she gagged.

“God, you’re such a hippie,” she complained. “Why can’t you ever just be mad at someone because they’re a dick?” She asked and Ryder smiled.

“I love you,” he said as he kissed her hair and she shut her eyes and hummed happily as she tightened her arms around him.

“I love you too,” Shannon murmured and Ryder’s brows pulled together thoughtfully.

“Do you think I’m an elf?” He asked and she giggled as she nodded.

“That’s perfect! You’re a total elf,” she said. “I don’t know why I never thought of that. Who called you an elf?” she asked and Ryder shrugged.

“I don’t remember,” Ryder said absently as he rubbed her arm. “I don’t think I knew him very well.”

Chapter 23

December 2013

It was the first day of winter break and Ryder woke up alone. He frowned at Clint’s pillow as he listened for any sign of Clint in the bathroom. After several moments of silence from the bathroom he concluded that Clint was somewhere else and didn’t just pop out of bed to take a piss. Waking up alone on his first Monday off was total bullshit. He grumbled under his breath as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. He stretched and scratched his head as he yawned then trudged into the hall.

“Good morning!” Clint said cheerfully from the kitchen before he rushed around the counter to kiss Ryder’s cheek loudly. “I’m made you breakfast, have a seat!” He insisted and Ryder gave him a wary look as he went to his chair.

“You weren’t supposed to get out of bed until after I woke up,” he complained as he looked around. His eyes caught on four piles of clothes on the couch and he was about to mention them when Clint’s fingers curved around his jaw and turned his face.

“I have a surprise for you and I was too excited to sleep,” he explained before his lips covered Ryder’s. Clint’s tongue slipped between Ryder’s lips and the taste of mint and coffee had his body tightening.

“I’m feeling pretty excited myself,” Ryder murmured as he reached for Clint’s face but he stood and hurried back to the kitchen.

“I found this oatmeal recipe that I was dying to try,” he said as he pulled a bowl out of the cabinet. Ryder raised a brow as he watched. He loved a good bowl of oatmeal but he doubted it was better than burying his morning hard-on in Clint’s ass. “You cook bananas down with brown sugar and spices, almost like applesauce. Then I stirred it into oatmeal with lots of pecans and cinnamon,” he said as he set a bowl and a cup of coffee in front of Ryder then dropped into the chair next to him.

“Thank you,” Ryder said as he picked up his spoon and Clint grinned as he propped his head on his fist and waited expectantly. Ryder offered him a weak smile as he dipped his spoon in the bowl. The steam smelled heavenly and he had to admit he was a little excited to try it. Clint had taken it upon himself to add more vegan friendly recipes to his repertoire and Ryder was impressed with his efforts so far. He raised the spoon to his lips and groaned as soon as the oatmeal hit his tongue then nodded as he swallowed. “Oh, that’s delightful,” he said as he dipped his spoon again.

“I was hoping you’d enjoy it,” Clint said as he reached behind his back. “Hopefully enough that you won’t be mad at me,” he added and Ryder narrowed his eyes at him.

“It’s really good oatmeal. I’m not sure how far it’s going to get you though,” he warned and Clint winced as his neck stretched so he could place a careful kiss on Ryder’s lips.

“You know how you said you didn’t want us buying Christmas gifts?” He asked and Ryder’s lips pulled tight.

“We agreed to make or find things because Christmas isn’t supposed to be about spending money,” he repeated and Clint nodded quickly.

“And I still agree. I’m totally going to make you something, I swear,” he said and Ryder tensed as he waited for Clint to justify buying him a gift. “Actually, I bought myself something. But it’s the sort of thing that would suck if I had to do it by myself. So, it’s really all about me,” he said and Ryder blinked a few times.

“What are you talking about?” He asked flatly and Clint chewed on his lip as he pulled his hand from behind his back and held up an envelope. Ryder’s tongue pushed against the inside of his cheek as he opened it. He withdrew a piece of paper and unfolded it and his brows pulled together as he read. “This is an itinerary…” He muttered and his eyes grew wide. “This is for a flight to Tahoe and back. Eight days in Tahoe?” Ryder asked loudly as he looked at Clint and he offered Ryder a sheepish grin.

“I really wanted to go but I didn’t want to go alone,” he explained and Ryder sighed as his frustration mingled with shock and a hint of anticipation.

“It’s way too extravagant, Clint,” he complained and Clint’s lip pushed out.

“I worked my ass off this year and I think I deserve to ski and relax for eight days in a cabin in Tahoe,” he argued and Ryder fought to keep his lips straight. “And I want to fuck
a lot
while I’m there and I can’t do that without you,” Clint said. “So, you’re just going because it would be boring if I went alone and all the sex stuff. You’re really doing me a favor. It’s like you’re giving me a gift,” he said and looked ridiculously pleased with himself. Ryder’s lips twisted as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“We’ll be gone for Christmas. What about your mom?” He asked and Clint’s grin grew brighter.

“You said you weren’t going to be with your mom so I decided to send mine away so I could spend Christmas with you,” he said and Ryder’s lips parted on a soft gasp as warmth bloomed in his chest. “I’m flying my mom and my aunt to Scottsdale for six days. They’re going to stay at a spa and be treated like royalty. They’re legit losing their minds, they’re so excited,” Clint said and Ryder went ahead and smiled.

“That’s really sweet of you,” he said and Clint nodded.

“It is. You should fuck my brains out in Tahoe,” he stated and Ryder laughed as he threw his hands up.

“Fine. We’re going to Tahoe,” he conceded and Clint giggled excitedly as he pulled Ryder’s lips to his for a quick kiss.

“Hurry up and eat,” he ordered before jumping to his feet. “We have to finish packing and I want to run to the store before we leave,” Clint said as he opened the hall closet and pulled out two suitcases. Ryder’s eyes grew wide and slid to the laundry in the living room.

“You’re already packed?” He asked and Clint nodded as he set a suitcase on the ottoman and unzipped it.

“Of course, we fly out at 2:10,” he said absently and Ryder almost knocked the chair over as he lurched to his feet.

“Holy shit! We’re leaving today?” He asked and Clint gave him a pointed look.

“Umm… You saw the itinerary,” he said and Ryder pushed his hands in his hair and stifled his panic.

“I haven’t packed! I don’t think I own enough winter clothes for eight days in the snow,” he said and Clint gave him an impatient look.

“Calm down. I already took care of it, though I’m not expecting that you’ll need that many clothes,” he murmured as he placed a bundle of socks in the suitcase.

“Jesus…” Ryder whispered as he sat back down. He didn’t want to think about what Clint would have spent on clothes for him.

“Just relax and eat while I finish packing. We’ll drop Barkley off at the doggy spa in Atlanta before we fly out. There’s nothing else for you to do but get ready,” he said and Ryder’s hand shook as he picked up the spoon.

“I’ve never been on a plane before,” he said and Clint looked up.

“Are you going to be ok?” He asked. “I’ve got some Xanax you can take,” he offered and Ryder shook his head.

“No, I’ll be fine. I don’t want to miss out on something because I’m too numb to pay attention,” he said then pushed his bowl away and looked back at Clint. “I’m too nervous to eat this right now. Can we take it with us?” He asked and Clint’s smile was gentle as he stared at Ryder over the back of the couch.

“Sure but you’ll have to eat it before we go through security,” he said and Ryder nodded as he stood.

“Ok. I’m going to take a shower,” Ryder said as he crossed the living room. “Join me,” he said firmly. He heard Clint laugh softly as he followed and a wicked grin spread across Ryder’s lips. He might be a lot calmer about getting on a plane if he got his dick sucked first.

Chapter 24

“This is Reno?” Ryder asked as he turned in his seat and craned his neck to see out the windows and Clint nodded as he changed lanes. The entire trip had been entertaining. Ryder was obviously nervous about flying but he didn’t let it stop him from asking for the window seat and charming everyone from check-in to security to the baggage claim. His knuckles turned white around the arm rest when the plane took off and landed but he was mesmerized by the view the entire flight. Once again, Clint was reminded of how refreshing it was to be with someone that wasn’t jaded or shallow. “So, your friends don’t mind us borrowing their cabin?” He asked and Clint shook his head.

“Mitch and Ken are spending the holidays in Europe this year. I usually come up to visit at least once during the winter and they told me to go ahead and use it. It’s beautiful and secluded. You’ll love it,” he said and Ryder grinned.

“I’ve never skied,” he said and Clint shrugged.

“If you don’t like it, we’ll find something else to do.” He gave Ryder a quick wink and he snorted.

“I’m sure we’ll think of something,” he said before he turned back to the window.

The sun had set by the time they pulled into the driveway and Ryder’s lips tightened as he stared at the cabin.

“That’s not a cabin, Clint,” Ryder said distractedly as his eyes grew wider and Clint frowned as he looked over Ryder’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?” He asked and Ryder’s head swung around.

“Cabins are small and made of logs and have little pellet stoves to heat them,” he explained then pointed out the window. “That’s not a cabin!” He insisted and Clint’s head pulled back.

“Sure it is. It’s made of wood. Mostly,” he added and Ryder laughed.

“It’s bigger than your house and the windows are huge!” He said and Clint nodded.

“I love it. Come on, let’s get inside before we get snowed in and have to sleep in the car,” he said and Ryder shook his head in disbelief.

“I don’t know why I thought we’d be staying in a normal cabin,” he muttered under his breath and Clint ignored it as he stepped out.

They quickly pulled their suitcases out of the trunk and rushed for the front door, laughing as their teeth chattered and their fingers stung. It took Clint a moment to find the right key and they both sighed in relief once he finally pushed the door open.

“Fuck, it’s freezing out there!” Ryder exclaimed as he tucked his hands under his arms and looked around.

“I packed four pairs of gloves for each of us,” Clint murmured as he pressed a kiss to Ryder’s cheek. It was cold and Clint knew exactly how he wanted to warm him up. “Let me give you a tour,” he said as he waved toward the living room.

“Cabins don’t require tours,” Ryder pointed out and Clint smiled over his shoulder.

“The kind I stay in do,” he said and Ryder rolled his eyes as he pushed his hands in his pockets and followed. “This is the living room, obviously.” Clint led him through the kitchen and Ryder’s brows rose at the large walk-in wine cellar. “Through this hall is the theater,” Clint said and Ryder whistled as Clint stepped into the room and turned on the light.

“Maybe I’ll just hang out here,” he said as he eyed the row of leather recliners and the large projector screen and Clint shook his head.

“I doubt it,” he said as he turned off the light and turned back toward the kitchen and living room. “The master suite is downstairs and there are four bedrooms upstairs,” he explained as he led Ryder past the living room. They entered a small second foyer and Ryder’s brows pulled together as Clint pushed open a door. “Master bathroom,” he said and Ryder’s jaw fell as he followed Clint.

“This is almost as big as my apartment,” he mumbled and Clint’s lips twisted as he considered then nodded.

“Could be,” he said. “There’s a dry sauna here.” He pointed at a wooden door set in cream colored tile then continued toward a large recessed tub. “There’s a shower with about a dozen jets, lights, music, heated tile and steam,” Clint said before he pushed open a set of double doors. “The bedroom,” he announced as he walked into the middle of the room and Ryder gasped as he looked around.

“What do your friends do?” He asked as he ducked and inspected the large fireplace in the middle of the room.

“They’re in real estate,” Clint said as he pushed a switch on the wall and Ryder jumped as a fire leapt from the stones in the fireplace.

“Are they realtors?” Ryder asked and Clint shook his head.

“No. But they own a lot of real estate,” he said and Ryder blinked at him. Clint shrugged and pointed at the bed as they passed on their way to the patio doors. “The cream and grey color scheme is a little bland for my taste but they obviously prefer things more minimal,” Clint murmured and Ryder stopped him.

“Is that bedspread made of real fur?” He asked and Clint’s eyes flared.

“Nope,” he said firmly as he shook his head and pushed Ryder toward the doors. Ryder frowned at him and glanced back at the bed.

“I’m pretty sure that’s fur, Clint,” he argued.

“Look at the hot tub,” Clint said loudly as he opened one of the doors and Ryder narrowed his eyes at him.

“I know what you’re doing,” he said and Clint rubbed his back soothingly.

“I’m trying to get laid,” he said as they stepped onto the deck. “You should check out the hot tub,” Clint insisted and Ryder sighed as he looked.

“Wow.” His brows rose as he stared down into it. “This is a hot tub?” He asked and Clint nodded.

“It’s a hot tub.”

“It’s a pool,” he said and Clint shook his head.

“It’s a hot tub,” he repeated and Ryder’s finger slid back and forth across his chin.

“Huh.” He was still for a moment before he turned to Clint. “Are you sure?” Ryder asked and Clint laughed.

“I promise,” he said as he shook Ryder’s shoulder playfully. “Why don’t you figure out how to get it started and take your clothes off and I’ll grab some champagne?” Clint asked and Ryder’s head pulled back.

“It’s freezing out here!” He declared and Clint raised a brow.

“Hot. Tub.” He said firmly and Ryder’s cheeks puffed out before he shrugged.

“Ok,” he said and Clint tried not to look too relieved. “I’ll be right back,” he said as he leaned toward Ryder’s lips then pecked at them before he turned and dashed back into the bedroom.

Clint ran to the bed and snatched the totally real fur bedspread off the bed and hastily folded it as he rushed into the bathroom. He tossed it into the dry sauna and pulled the door shut then darted into the hall. He sprinted into the main foyer and quickly found the lube and condoms in one of the suitcases and shoved them in his pocket then raced into the kitchen and pulled open the door to the wine cellar. He opened the chiller and his fingers danced over labels until he located a nice demi-sec. He wanted Ryder to drink and he knew he had a hard time enjoying dry champagnes.

He tucked the bottle under his arm and grabbed two flutes on his way out then did his best to walk calmly as he made his way back to the bedroom. When he returned to the patio Ryder was just sinking into the hot tub and Clint silently cheered as he stepped into the steam. He carefully set the flutes on the deck and peeled the foil away from the cork cage.

“This is amazing,” Ryder said as he rested his elbows on the edge of the hot tub and stared out at the woods behind the cabin and Clint hummed in agreement before he released the cork. Ryder turned and his lips curved gently as he crossed the tub. “I’m glad we’re here,” he said and pushed off the tiles and Clint lowered as Ryder offered his lips. They kissed tenderly for a moment before Ryder sunk back into the water. “Hurry up and get in here,” he demanded and Clint nodded as he poured then handed Ryder a glass.

“I’m about to break a record,” he said as he filled his glass. “No one in the history of the sexual universe has ever jumped out of their clothes as fast as I’m about to,” Clint declared and Ryder’s lips curved as he backed across the tub and leaned against the side.

“I’d time you but…” He gestured at his gloriously naked body. Clint took a long sip from his glass then set it down. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the condoms and lube and Ryder raised his glass in salute as Clint dropped them on the edge of the tub.

There probably wasn’t a record time for clothes shedding but if there was, Clint might have beat it. His fingers swiftly dealt with buttons and zippers as he kicked off his shoes before he started flinging garments left and right. Ryder laughed as he waited and Clint slipped his last sock off with a flourish then threw it over his shoulder as he approached the steps leading into the water. He groaned in delight as Ryder reached for him and their bodies tangled as they sunk into the water.

“You have no idea how amazing this is after a day on the slopes,” Clint said and Ryder grinned as he lifted his glass to Clint’s lips. He took a sip and sighed happily as he swallowed.

“It’s already pretty amazing,” Ryder murmured as he guided them toward the steps.

They kissed, whispered and sipped as their fingers gripped and stroked until the bottle was empty and they became impatient. Ryder forced Clint to the top step and pressed his thighs wide and Clint hissed as his back hit the frozen deck and Ryder chuckled as his tongue lapped at the head of Clint’s cock.

“You wanted to fuck in the hot tub,” he said as his hands glided over Clint’s stomach and chest. His finger’s traced Clint’s nipples as his lips closed around Clint’s erection. Clint swore as need clawed at his nerves and his ass pulsed with gnawing, aching need. Clint’s hand slid across the planks as he searched blindly for the lube. His fingers closed around the bottle and he pushed it at Ryder as he moaned in frustration. “Just a minute,” Ryder growled as he pushed Clint’s legs back and Clint’s eyes flared as Ryder’s tongue slid into the cleft of his ass. Clint should have seen countless stars above him but he was blind as Ryder’s tongue flicked and probed at his puckered hole. It drilled and laved and Clint pressed his hands to his mouth to smother a scream as his sack tightened and pleasure swirled in his groin.

“Ryyyyyyderrr!” He cried weakly as his fingers twisted in Ryder’s hair. He heard the cap click as Ryder flicked it open and Clint sighed in relief then shook his head wildly as slick fingers traced his hole. “Just fuck me, for God’s sake!” Clint demanded breathlessly and Ryder chuckled softly as he rose and all the air left Clint’s lungs as water slid down Ryder’s body and the moonlight hit his skin. Clint wanted to cry and laugh as need and joy flooded his body. He had never wanted anyone so much or found so much happiness in another person. Once again, he choked back words, afraid he’d break the spell as Ryder sheathed his cock and coated it generously with lube.

“We’re going to freeze to death,” Ryder warned as he set his hands outside of Clint’s shoulders. Clint bit his lip as Ryder pressed against his hole and pushed into his tightness then shook his head as he pulled Ryder into his body.

“I’m not cold,” he whispered as Ryder rocked his hips and heat rolled through Clint’s body. Ryder’s lips washed over his face as he pressed kisses and words into Clint’s skin.

Steam billowed around them as snowflakes floated through the air and Clint would have sold his soul to keep Ryder suspended with him in that moment. Ryder’s hands wrapped around Clint’s ass and he rolled and thrust hard, grinding against his prostate and Clint knew he wasn’t going to last long as his balls tightened and pressure pushed into his shaft. Ryder drove harder and Clint clawed at his shoulders as pleasure and heat radiated through his body.

“Don’t stop!” Clint begged as his muscles tightened and he arched and strained in Ryder’s arms. “Never stop,” he panted as his body seized and his head fell back.

He became light as heat and pleasure roared through his body and the pressure surged up his shaft and a thick stream of come splashed against his stomach and hit Ryder’s chest. Ryder’s breath caught as he slammed forward and he crushed Clint against him as he bucked and convulsed. He lifted Clint as he slipped back into the water and they panted and clung to each other as they drifted through the swirling current. Clint’s skin screamed as the heat penetrated his chilled body and he groaned into Ryder’s mouth as they kissed drowsily.

Maybe we just make out in the hot tub from now on…