The Grey God (War of Gods 4) (20 page)

He won’t pick ours.
Jonny’s words bounced around in her thoughts as she recalled the look Darian had given the portal they stumbled upon. He’d been yearning and delighted, even claiming the immortal world to be
heaven
.

“No, Jonny. He won’t forsake his duty,” she said and rose, agitated.

“What makes you so certain?”

Two weeks ago, she wouldn’t have known which way Darian would go. But he’d changed again. He would hold his duty over his fascination with the immortal world. Especially if he saw it as she did. The world was in shambles.

“I know he won’t,” she said. “Are you certain one world must die?”

“Why do you think the Grey God existed and then was killed? This time, Xander says Darian’s fate is not the same as his predecessor. But neither has his choice changed.”

“There’s nothing that would make him choose the immortal world over ours.”

“What motivation does he have to choose our world?” Jonny argued, approaching her. His agitated air was filled with magic. “The Others told me he was enslaved by a Black God. There’s no Black God in the immortal world!”

“There are no humans there, either,” she pointed out. “As the White God, he was sworn to protect humanity.”

“As Grey God, he’s destined to destroy a world. Are you comfortable saying it won’t be ours?”

“Yes, I am!”

“I’m not. And if I can’t protect my world, I’ll find a way to destroy him.”

“Jonny, he’s not your enemy,” she said. “The Others are your enemies. They’re setting you up to betray you.”

“They won’t, not if they want …” Jonny ran his fingers through his hair. “I made them a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” she breathed.

“One that will see my vamps protected and the worlds both survive.”

“Jonny—”

He held up a hand. “It also might save our world, Jenn. They’re going to stop attacking Guardians, too, and they’re going to focus on Darian. Xander says they can’t kill him, but maybe they can keep him from destroying our world.”

“What makes you think they won’t focus Darian on destroying our world?” she demanded.

“I had to do them a favor.”

There was a tense silence and then she spoke.

“This is madness, Jonny. What did you trade them for this
favor
?”

He looked away.

“Jonny, what did you do?”

“I made them the deal I tried to make yesterday. All they wanted was you,” he said.

“Fuck!” Jenn cried. “They manipulated you, Jonny! Can’t you see what they’re doing? They’re preying on you. I don’t know what’s true about Darian destroying a world, but the Others would do everything they could to destroy ours.”

“No, Jenn, they said—”

“I don’t give a shit what they said, Jonny. Turning me over to them is … it’s …” She couldn’t bring herself to tell him why it mattered.

“I’ve loved you almost since I met you,” Jonny said, stepping closer. “You think it was easy for me to consider turning you over? I told them no the first two meetings.”

“You don’t love me, Jonny.”

“But I do, Jenn. You protected my sister. You came with me here, and you’ve taught me how to lead,” he replied. “You’ve been the only person who stayed with me through this all.”

“Jonny, what you feel for me—it’s not real. It’s gratitude,” she said quickly as he took another step towards her. “I did those things because they’re my duty. I’m here because it’s the will of the White God.”

“Xander told me not to agree with the Others,” Jonny considered. “When he left, I felt like they started to respect me more. They didn’t talk down to me like they did when Xander was at our meetings. I didn’t want to agree, but … Jenn, I’m going to save the world.”

“They lied to you. They used mind manipulation to control you, which wasn’t possible with Xander there to protect you.”

“I’m the Black God. No one can do that,” he scoffed.

“Xander can. I can.”

Jonny searched her gaze. “Did you do that to me, Jenn?”

“Up until last night, when it stopped working. You’re too powerful now,” she replied. “Xander can still do it. I’ve watched him work you like a puppet.”

She saw the wounded look a fraction of a moment before the Black God hardened. He turned away from her.

“Jonny, I don’t know how to tell you what you’ve done,” she said. “The Others took advantage of you. They’re going to destroy you and our world.”

“It seems like everyone’s taken advantage of me.”

“I don’t know how else to say this, Jonny, but that’s the game we’re playing.”

“Game?” His whisper turned to a roar. “Is that what I am to you, Jenn? A
game
?”

“I didn’t mean—”

He whirled and snatched her neck, lifting her off the ground. Jenn whipped out a dagger, but he knocked it away. She felt his magic swell around him, the fire in his gaze sizzling through her blood.

“Tell me where the portal is, Guardian.” His voice was inhuman.

Jenn closed her eyes, struggling to breathe. Jonny wasn’t trained in reading minds; his entrance into hers was like taking a machete to a piñata. Her world grew red then black while he smashed through her memories.

He dropped her finally, and she landed in a heap. Sand was rough against her cheek, and she blinked back tears and darkness. The sun peeked over the desert horizon to the east.

Jonny squatted beside her. “Where is it?”

Jenn pretended to be more disoriented than she was, wanting to catch him by surprise and Travel before he caught her. She pushed herself up to her knees. Jonny shifted away. She closed her eyes to Travel, but he clamped a hand on her forearm.

“This will keep you from running,” he said. Black smoke swirled in his other hand, molding into a cuff. The Black God slapped it over her arm.

It sucked her magic out of her, storing it in the black cuff. Jenn stared at it. Jonny released her and rose.

“I’ll count to three, Guardian,” Jonny said. “Tell me where it is. One.”

“You can’t go to the immortal world, Jonny. The Others are there.”

“Two.”

“Whatever they told you, it’s wrong. You have to trust me.”

“I did more than trust you,” he said, glancing at her. “This will hurt me more than it does you, Jenn.”

“Jonny—”

“Three.”

His gaze flashed. Pain flew threw her. Jenn cried out, her body bucking from waves of agony. They stopped just as suddenly as they started again.

“Let’s try this again,” the Black God said.

Jenn gritted her teeth. She’d sworn an oath to Darian, and the last thing she wanted was to return to the immortal world and wait for the Others to grab her. Of course, if Jonny had his way, her fate was already sealed.

Jonny crouched beside her. Jenn wiped her mind clean, instead thinking of Bianca, Jonny’s sister. She focused hard on the image of Bianca and braced herself for Jonny’s fiery touch. He touched her and withdrew immediately, cursing.

When Jonny’s hand clamped around her arm again, she felt the unmistakable sense of Traveling. He released her. Jenn heard him stride away and slam a door. She opened her eyes. She was in the living area of his suite again. Jonny slammed the bathroom door then shoved everything off his desk onto the floor. His magic filled the air around him, flinging the living room furniture against windows and walls in a fit of fury.

She pushed herself up, grimacing at the flickers of pain still running through her. The cuff was warm against her skin and she tugged at it, seeking some way to free herself. It was solid. Her hand dropped, and she eyed a credenza that swept close to her head.

Just as quick as his hissy fit started, it stopped. Jonny planted his hands on his hips and stared at the ceiling. The furniture landed randomly around the room.

“You’re going to do something for me, Jenn,” he said.

“Whatever you say, Jonny,” she replied and rose. She refused to let him see she was hurting from his magic and weak without her own. Instead, Jenn straightened and met his gaze.

“You’re going to find out how to keep the Grey God from destroying our world. If that means he dies, so be it.”

“If Xander told you—”

“I don’t give a fuck what Xander said. For all I know, he was manipulating me, like you did,” Jonny snapped. “No one seems to think they can kill him. If that’s not the answer, then you’ll figure it out, Jenn, and you’ll do it in two days. Or I’ll unleash my vamps on your precious Guardians. I’m well aware they have no magic to defend themselves.”

She stared at him.

“You think I missed that thought when I read your mind?” he demanded, stalking to her. “Your true mission here, not to help me but to undermine me? I saw everything, Jenn. I saw every memory you didn’t want me to see, everything Damian said to you about what to do when you got here. Even the one about how you abandoned your family. Who knew a Black God had more honor than the shitty Guardian you are.”

Jenn slapped him hard. Jonny took a step back then gazed at her in silent surprise.

“Did you see the one where I pitied you?” she demanded. “Where I took on this assignment, hoping you’d retain the part of you that makes you human? Did you see the memory where I watched you kill your first, and I still thought maybe there was some part of you that could be salvaged?”

The Black God didn’t move.

“Maybe I hoped you could do what I could not do for myself,” she said.

“I will do as I swore,” he said at last. “I’ll destroy every Guardian on this planet if you don’t bring me the answer I want.” He walked away, hesitated, and faced her again. “I’m the Black God, Jenn. I can’t be salvaged.”

Jonny left. Jenn rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms.

I can’t be salvaged
. The words struck her hard. He was hurting, that much she could sense even without her magic. He’d truly thought he loved her. She was lucky to be in one piece after all he’d learned.

Duty, honor, courage, selflessness.

The chant no longer soothed the pain within her as she thought of her own past.

Sorrow, then fury filled her. She didn’t know what to think about Jonny’s assignment or his insistence Darian would destroy one world. For once, she wanted to see Darian, to ask him outright what the fuck was going on. She wondered how she’d do what he told her when she couldn’t Travel. She’d have trouble defending herself in his mansion without the sixth sense that helped her track the vamps prowling around her.

Jenn checked her pocket, not surprised to see the phone Darian lent her was missing. She flung a knife against the wall in anger then strode out of the Black God’s chamber to the ground floor. It was too early for the vamps to be in the gym, so she stripped down to her undershirt without changing into her sparring gear and began pounding into the dummy in front of her.

Even if she had no magic, she still had most of a Guardian’s superhuman strength. Jenn slammed her hands and kicks into the punching bag.

I can’t be salvaged.

She hadn’t thought she’d wanted the opposite so badly. The words stung, because she hated feeling as though she, too, was beyond redemption. She’d buried those ghosts a long time ago, owning up to her responsibility in the deaths of her family. And yet, the guilt never completely left. There was nothing she could do to change that.

You’re going to find out how to keep the Grey God from destroying our world. If that means he dies, so be it.

At the thought of Darian, her punch faltered, and pain shot through her wrist. Jonny hadn’t mentioned knowing she was Darian’s mate, but keeping anything from him just got harder. She hadn’t wanted anything to do with Darian. Jonny all but ordered her to interact with the Grey God.

Just turn me over to them already
! she wanted to shout. The Others would get her eventually anyway, if not by Jonny’s hand, then by their own. She wasn’t about to live with the guilt of hurting yet a third person she cared about.

Exhausted, Jenn stooped to grab her clothes and returned to the locker room. She took a long shower this time, not caring if the vamps got her. None did. She dressed and grabbed a comb from her locker, crossing to the mirror above the sinks. The cuff on her arm was black and heavy. She’d tried to work it off in the shower but found it impossible.

The familiar swing of the necklace drew her gaze as she leaned over to lace a boot. She looked at her shoe then back up, straightening as she stared at her reflection. Jenn leaned against the sink counter, one hand taking the worn, ancient medallion around her neck.

It wasn’t her family’s necklace. She wore the mark of Darian, the firstborn of the White God. Sofi wore the White God’s pendant, Bianca wore Dusty’s mark, and Yully wore Jule’s.

Darian knew.

After a long pause, Jenn tucked it beneath her shirt. With jerky movements, she finished dressing and replaced her weapons. She needed to find Darian, even if she’d rather run as far as she could. He’d said something about a cabin nearby. The nearest small town was thinly populated during winter, but she’d seen people there during her exploration of the area around Jonny’s.

She pulled on a coat and her hat. It was midmorning, and the snow still fell. She walked to the foyer and looked out, dreading the idea of walking somewhere when it was so cold.

Jenn emerged from the mansion. Jonny had ordered her never to leave, crippled her ability to Travel, and then told her to get information from Darian. She wasn’t sure what the Black God’s priority was, but she wanted to find Darian. The information Jonny revealed about one of the worlds being destroyed was too crazy for her not to find out the truth.

Snow swirled around her as she strode from the mansion into the cold morning. Jenn walked until she reached the end of the driveway. She crossed the road and walked into the pine forest, towards the small town. A glance at the sky revealed darker clouds in the west. They didn’t appear to be moving quickly.

Jenn jogged until she was warm then settled into as quick of a walk as she could through the thick forest and tall snow. By noon, the dark clouds made the sky as dark as early evening. Snow fell heavier, until she could barely see the next tree in front of her. Jenn pushed onward, even when a wicked wind began to blow against her.