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Authors: Iris Murdoch

The Green Knight (76 page)

BOOK: The Green Knight
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‘Moy, Moy – '
She kept shuddering and murmuring and uttering little soft sounds and breathing deeply and choking and gasping, then, she whispered, ‘I'm sorry.' Bellamy felt something warm. It was Anax's warm tongue licking his hand.
‘You must get up and walk!' He pulled Moy to her feet. Then he saw, further on toward the land, his overcoat and Moy's overcoat lying near to each other on the sand, and he thought, thank heavens the tide is going out, and the weather has changed too. The wind had dropped and there was more brightness in the sky, and he thought, that was the light which I saw when I was under the dome of the wave. Leaning upon him, Moy began to walk.
‘Come on, Moy, we must get you home quickly. Whatever possessed you to go swimming!'
He did not expect her to answer, but she said. ‘It was the seals, I had to – ' then she said, ‘It's so strange, the water was warm.'
‘Not for me! Look, here are our coats, and they are dry!' It was difficult to get the coats on over their wet sticky garments. He helped her on with hers, then donned his. ‘We must hurry now, thank heavens I arrived in time, it was Anax barking, he really rescued you. Where is he – oh look at him!'
Anax, running ahead of them, had climbed up onto the flat-topped rock where Moy had left the conical lichen stone. He was sitting in profile, his front paws extended, beside the stone, looking at it. ‘Look, Moy, he's just like something out of ancient Egypt!'
Moy looked. She stared at Anax and at the conical stone. She looked between them, looking at the hillside beyond, and she
saw the place
. It was not far away, it was quite near after all, not distant as she had imagined. ‘Bellamy, sorry, there's something I've got to do.'
Leaving hold of him she ran away with amazing swiftness, reached the rocks and clambered up. She seized the stone.
‘What – ? Moy!'
But already she was running away toward the grassy slope and the meadow beyond.
‘Moy, wait! Anax!'
She ran on upward through the longer grass, stumbling but never falling, and Anax ran after her, then passing her ran before her. Bellamy, exhausted, blundered on behind.
As soon as Moy had touched the stone she felt her body become warm and agile, she could run and keep running, the stone seemed weightless, she followed Anax. Breathless at last she slowed down. Yes, she recognised the particular formation of the land, the shape of the hill, the thicker grass, the dip beyond into the little dell. Anax had already run over the grassy edge and into the dell. Moy followed him, hugging the stone. Yes, there was the rock, rising high, high out of the grass, a smooth grey pyramid, criss-crossed with hieroglyphics, quite unlike the rocks of the sea, unique, solitary, sacred. Holding the stone, leaning against the rock, Moy sat down in the damp grass. But where had the stone been in relation to the rock, where had its place been? She said, bending over the stone, hugging it against her breast, ‘Seek, Anax, seek!' Anax was already sniffing about. Then he began to dig in the grass at the side of the dell. Moy rose and went to him. Beneath the grass there was a hole. She looked back at the rock. Yes, that was where it had been, where they could see each other. Anax moved aside. Moy lowered the stone into the hole. It fitted exactly. Moy felt something snap inside her as if her heart had snapped. The heart-string, she thought – what is the heart-string? Tears came into her eyes. She touched the stone, pressing it firmly into its hole. Kneeling, she kissed it. Then she hurried to the rock and kissed it. Then, after caressing the mysterious messages of its crisscross cracks, not looking back, she ran quickly out of the dell and onto the open hillside. Anax was frisking wildly beside her. Bellamy was half way up the hill.
‘Moy, whatever are you up to? Do you want us to die of exposure? You must come back to the house at once, you must be freezing cold, we must have hot baths, Anax must be cold too, we must hurry back – !'
They began to walk briskly down to the path, at the horizon the sun was shining on the sea, they were talking, chattering and smiling at each other, the words tumbling out of their mouths.
‘They'll be cross with us!'
‘They'll be cross with
me!
'
‘No, with
me
!'
Think of those hot baths, thank heavens there are two bathrooms!'
‘And Anax can lie by the fire.'
‘We'll light fires in all the rooms, it's time to do it now.'
‘That will help us dry our clothes.'
‘It's good that we left our coats behind!'
‘We didn't have much time to reflect, anyway I didn't! But why did you go in at all?'
‘It was just – the seals – '
‘You are absolutely daft, but never mind, we can talk about this later – well, it's such an adventure we shall talk about it forever!'
‘I feel warm now, do you?'
‘Well, warmish. I'm glad that wind has given up. But get a move on, after your bath you must go to bed, you must be suffering from shock.'
‘I'm not, not a bit.'
‘Well, I am. It's wonderful that the seals are back. I expect they came to say hello to you.'
‘Well – yes – I think – they did – '
Bellamy thought, what's happened, something's happened – I'm afraid she will collapse when she gets back, such an extraordinary girl, and I shall probably collapse too, but not for long, perhaps it's reading all those letters, no, of course not, Moy and the seals, and how on earth did Anax
know
, and what were they doing up there on that hill, well, I won't tell about that, how brave she is, I've got so much to do, I'll find that job he spoke of, and yes he was right about happiness, don't be miserable thinking you can't be perfect, isn't the
Bhagavad Gita
about that, living above one's moral station, I must ask Emil, and there was something about the presence of Christ not fading, I'll look after Moy, and Emil will help her to get into an art school, perhaps we could adopt her, or sort of –
‘Bellamy, thank you so much – '
‘Don't worry. You made the seals come. I wonder if they saw the seals. Emil is coming in a day or two, you like Emil, don't you?'
‘Oh yes, I love Emil.'
‘We'll get you into an art school, I mean you'll get yourself into an art school – '
‘Yes, I shall get started here, and then – '
‘And then what?'
‘I think I'll go to India when I'm eighteen, I'd like to live there.'
‘Oh – I wonder if – '
Would Emil and I be happy in India, he wondered. I suppose I might become a Buddhist there. Well, we'll deal with that problem when the time comes.
‘Look Moy, see the chimneys, they've lit all the fires, they must have known we were going to try to drown ourselves. And Anax is running on ahead to bring the news.'
BOOK: The Green Knight
6.25Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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