The Grace In Darkness (18 page)

By time I reached it, he was on his third knock, and I knew I had to open the door sooner or later. I couldn
’
t fathom why I was so nervous when I
’
d spent the entire night with him. My hand hovered over the doorknob and I took another deep breath before turning it and pulling the door toward me.

I felt confused, like there was something off, but I slowly slipped a smile into place anyway.

“
Hello, Araya.
”

My smile froze, and my heart sank just a little.

P
ulling into my company spot, I turned off the car and leaned into the steering wheel. I knew J.D. was going to be pissed, and part of me wished I
’
d just sent him a sing-a-gram to break the news, but I was here now and I wanted to get this over with and get back to Araya. Going back to her apartment had been the best idea I had since she left.

I leaned over and opened the glove compartment to pull out my emergency aspirin. Last night
’
s shots binge had been an epic mistake, and even though Araya had managed to distract me most of the night, I
’
d awakened nursing a pretty bad hangover. Every move made my head pound uncontrollably. I probably should have waited to do this when my head didn
’
t feel like it was going to explode. I took two and drank the entire water I
’
d brought from the house. I tossed the bottle into the passenger seat and grabbed a mint before finally opening the door.

I pushed it open a little too hard and the edge slammed into the car parked next to me. As I stood, I examined the small dent in the passenger side of the brand new 2014 Mercedes Benz J.D. had gotten last week.

Whoops.

This car was one of the few things J.D. was really proud of. He liked having things few people could possess. It made him feel powerful and self-righteous. It was one of the many things I hated about him. That greedy need to control anyone and everything around him infuriated me and caused me to lash out in ways that most people would think was crazy.

My hands clenched into fists that turned my knuckles white and made the metal of my keys dig into my palm. Disgusted, I walked past the car, enjoying the sordid sound of metal scratching against steel. I threw my hand in the air as I rounded the end of his car, wishing I could be there to see the look on his face when he discovered the damage.

When I walked into the factory, it was like a place of torture between the florescent lights from hell and the loud roar of machinery. I just wanted to get this over with and be done with this part of my life. It was time to take back what had been taken from me and move on.

After I left her with that guy, at the expense of my liver, I
’
d tried to drink away everything that hadn
’
t involved that tiny bit of freedom in that dark closet with Araya. Maybe it had been good because after the fifth shot, I realized what an idiot I was being and I took off to Araya
’
s place. I was done playing J.D.
’
s games. I never should have gone along with them this long. At the time, my reasons seemed legit, but now they just seemed foolish. If I didn
’
t leave now, he would ruin my life and I would have no one to blame but myself.

I walked through the line fast, hoping to avoid everyone. I was coming up to Careless
’
s office, and if I had the option to run past it, I would have, except I ran into her instead.

In her arms, she held a box filled with the few things she
’
d brought to make the tiny space more...
hers
. She seemed surprised to see me as she stood there not saying anything. I eyed the box in her hands and then frowned at her.

“
Where are you going?
”

“
Home.
”

“
For the day?
”

“
For good. I quit.
”

“
What? Why now? What happened?
”

“
After all your hard work to get me out of here, Ryland, don
’
t act like you care now.
”

“
I don
’
t care, but I am curious. Why?
”

“
Because I never should have been here to begin with. I was trying to fix something that was...
is
unfixable. You
’
re getting what you want. I
’
m sorry I hurt you, Ryland. Sorrier than you will ever know. You did nothing my whole like but try to protect me from that man, and I turned against you too. I don
’
t expect you to ever forgive me. I don
’
t forgive myself, but I love you with all my heart and I hope one day you
’
ll remember you love me too. Even if it doesn
’
t seem like it right now.
”

She shifted the box to one arm and reached up to kiss me on the cheek.

“
I know you don
’
t owe me anything, Ryland, but please read these files, okay? Maybe they
’
ll help you free yourself from J.D. for good.
”
She handed me a folder.
“
Good-bye, big brother,
”
she whispered and walked past me.

My throat felt uncomfortably constricted as I stood there listening to Careless walk away. Her good-bye felt more final than I liked, but I couldn
’
t focus on that now as I made my way toward J.D.
’
s suite. Losing two kids in one day, I couldn
’
t have asked for it to go any other way.

I didn
’
t bother to knock when I got to J.D.
’
s office and he didn
’
t bother to look up when I came in. He was standing over his desk, looking through one of the fifty files stacked there and running his finger down the page.

“
Your sister quit.
”

“
She should
’
ve never started working here to begin with.
”

“
After the stunt she pulled this summer, I thought she had it in her. Obviously, she doesn
’
t.
”

“
She pulled that
stunt
because you backed her into a corner. You twist people
’
s arms until they have no other choice but to strike back at you.
”

“
Skip the lecture, Ryland. I can
’
t help the actions of those weaker than I am.
”

“
You
’
re fucking unbelievable, you know that?
”

He finally looked up at me.
“
Watch the way you talk to me, Ryland.
”

“
I
’
m done, do you hear me? Done.
”

“
Excuse me?
”

“
You heard me. I quit.
”

He spoke calmly despite the vein twitching in his forehead.
“
Your year isn
’
t up.
”

“
That
’
s too damn bad. I want you, this company, and everything else that revolves around you out of my life, for good.
”

“
Have you forgotten our deal, Ryland?
”

“
I don
’
t care if you tell me where she is or not. You saw her at the party the other night. She
’
s moved on. She has someone else now and it
’
s time for me to do the same. I
’
m getting as far away from this hellhole as I can.
”

I needed him to think Araya was out of the picture and out of my life for good. I didn
’
t want him to know I was lying through my teeth right now.

“
You
’
d leave Cara and Sebastian behind?

“
Yes.
”

“
Just like that? Not a second thought?
”

“
Just like that. Not a second thought,
”
I said firmly without skipping a beat. He had to believe I meant it.

He stared at me for a long minute and then his lips twisted into a sinister sneer. He placed his hands on the desk, leaning into it.

“
Do you think I
’
m stupid, Ryland?
”

I debated on how to answer that question.
“
Why do you ask questions you probably don
’
t want to hear the answers to?
”

“
Everything is a joke to you.
”

“
That
’
s because my life here is a joke!
”

“
You expect me to believe you
’
re done with that girl?
”

“
I don
’
t care what you believe!
”
I yelled back.

“
Well, that makes you a damn fool, Ryland. Did you think I wouldn
’
t be covering all my bases? Did you think I wouldn
’
t be checking up on you?
”

I froze.
“
What the hell are you talking about?
”

“
You should know me better by now, Ryland. I knew you wouldn
’
t be able to resist looking for her. It was only a matter of time before you got the itch. I
’
ll admit, had I not had someone following you, I probably would have never known… but I
’
m better at this game than you are.
”

“
You
’
ve been having me followed? You
’
re fucking insane!
”

“
No, I
’
m efficient! I do what I do to get what I want.
”

“
I
’
m not a fucking toy! You can
’
t just wind me up and point me in the direction you want me to go! How do you not comprehend that? You can
’
t play with people
’
s lives like they
’
re not human!
”

“
Watch me.
”
He threatened.

“
I don
’
t know why I wasted my breath on you. I just came here to tell you I
’
m done with you. If I never have to see you again, I
’
ll be just fine with that.
”

“
You walk out that door and you won
’
t ever see that girl again. I
’
ll make sure of it, goddamn it!
”

I was calling his bluff now. I was done letting him think he had the upper hand in this entire situation.

“
There
’
s nothing more you can threaten me with that
’
s going to change my mind. You do what you have to do, J.D., because you can bet your ass I will too. I won
’
t let you take her away from me without a fight.
”

J.D. walked around his desk and stood in front of me. He knew he was losing the battle and he was preparing for war. He was bringing out the big intimidation, but he didn
’
t realize I came cocked and ready too.

“
I don
’
t think that
’
s a fight you
’
re ready to take on, Ryland. Fighting with me is
nothing
like the pathetic little spats you get into with your brother.
”