The Goal of My Life (20 page)

After a couple of months Eleanor started seeing a change in me, for the positive, and she started coming around as a result. She told me that I used to toss and turn in bed at night, and she would always fall asleep before me. Now that changed; I would fall asleep soon after my head hit the pillow as a calm and peacefulness seemed to come over me. She also noticed that I could sit and read for a couple of hours at a time, where before, it was only about fifteen minutes because I was so restless.

So she started to read the Bible seriously, and started to see what I had already seen. Every one of us needs a saviour if you want to go to heaven. She, too, began to study and embrace the Bible and what living a spiritual life really meant.

Eleanor had gone to church and was a religious person, but sitting in a church for an hour each week doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car. You become a Christian by really understanding the gospel, and soon she also invited Christ into her life as her Lord and saviour.

I am so thankful that our three girls also became Christians in 1975. Our daughter Heather went to Teen Ranch that
summer and came home and announced to us that, at the age of twelve, she had given her life to the Lord as well. Our other daughters, Jennifer and Jill, also became Christians that fall. Today, all of us remain very committed followers of Jesus.

Christianity really made what was already a strong marriage and family life that much stronger. I believe if we had never become Christians we would still have a great marriage, as Eleanor and I have always loved and respected each other. But when a man becomes a Christian he becomes a better husband and father, as he understands the responsibility he has to the Lord regarding his family.

Until I took the time to study the Bible, I had an immature definition of love. The Bible (in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7) tells us the true definition of love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

I believe that becoming a Christian has helped me to become a better and more fulfilled person and gave me a spiritual awareness that was sorely lacking in my life. I consider it to be the most important decision I have made.

In later years, Eleanor and I went to marriage conferences and learned so much there. I learned, for instance, that I didn’t know how to fight fair, and that I was more interested in winning the argument than I was in resolving the conflict in a respectful manner. I was not a good listener, and I learned that not communicating freely could seriously hamper your family relationships. For the last fifteen years, Eleanor and I have been speaking at marriage conferences and providing
counselling to couples looking to find their way, and it has been very rewarding work. We get so much positive feedback. Becoming a Christian changed my life like nothing else ever did, and I am so grateful that my wife was able to share in that change with me.

And as a result, more than fifty years later, I am just as much in love with her as I was when I first met her in the grocery store. When young love turns into old love, it is the best love.

In 1973, I was still struggling to discover my faith fully. An example of the kind of question I plied Mel with: “Who is Jesus? Is He real or not?” For most of the next two years I studied all kinds of religious dogma and read an enormous amount of material on a wide variety of spiritual issues. I even spent some time with Jehovah’s Witnesses. I became pretty knowledgeable in a lot of areas – or certainly knew a lot more than I did beforehand. As I studied and asked more and more questions, I started to embrace the concept of Christianity. I asked what a Christian is, and I learned that a Christian is someone who believes Jesus Christ is who He said He is. I came to understand that God really does love us, so much so that He decided to send His only son Jesus to die for us – He died for Paul Henderson.

This understanding came to me, but truthfully, it was a little frightening and intimidating at first for me. Accepting Christianity was like making a marriage commitment … I had to say “I do” to the Lord and make a decision, a commitment.

Well, it took me a long time to do that, and for the longest while I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. And there were three reasons for that.

Reason one: ridicule. I had made fun of religious fanatics, those “born-again Christians,” as I referred to them, not even knowing what that term meant, and here I was thinking of becoming a devout Christian myself. I was worried about losing my friends and about what people would think of me if I took this step.

Reason two: Christianity seemed to me to be all about dos and don’ts. How could I be a man’s man – a professional hockey player – and be a Christian at the same time? There were so many dos that were required to be a Christian, and many of the don’ts were things that I liked to do!

Reason three: God expected me and every other Christian to be His ambassador. I discovered and read in the Bible that being a true Christian meant being a witness for Jesus. It would be embarrassing for me to have to do that, and I felt that I would never be comfortable doing that.

As I read and studied more about what being a Christian really meant, I was frankly disappointed in many ways with the kind of life I had lived up until this point. But I came around finally to understand that God loves me and wants me to get to know Him. God will forgive us for what we have done. God would forgive Paul Henderson for all the sins I had committed, and God’s forgiveness comes without any exceptions.

It was March 12, 1975, while I was with the Toronto Toros of the World Hockey Association – but out of the lineup after having had knee surgery – that I had a conversation with God. I told Him that I had come to believe in Him, and I really wanted to have Him in my life. I asked for His forgiveness and asked Him to be my saviour and also my Lord, and to help me become the man He wanted me to be.
I then found myself saying, “Don’t You expect me to tell anyone about this. This is just between You and me.”

I wanted to be a “secret-service” Christian. I wanted a relationship with God without having to talk about it. But I knew deep down that that’s not the way it works.

So, on that day, my new life began. I became a follower of Jesus, a Christian, and I thanked the Lord for loving me and forgiving me. I called Mel and told him. That day was his birthday, and he was happy for me.

Right up to this day, I am an avid student of the Bible. I have come to learn that Christianity isn’t so much a religion as a relationship with God. There’s a personal and intimate connection with the Lord when you walk with Him and make Him a part of your life on a daily basis.

Many other players over the years have come to know Jesus and have been willing to stand up and be a witness, including guys like my good friend Ron Ellis, Dave Burrows, Laurie Boschman, Mark Osborne, Stu Grimson, Mike Gartner, Doug Jarvis, Wes Jarvis, Mike Fisher, Dan Hamhuis, and many others. And their faith never interfered with or was an issue with their careers. And contrary to what many people may believe, being a Christian doesn’t mean you can’t be a tough performer on the ice or that you never take a penalty. Consider the statistics of these devout – yet solid and tough – Christian hockey players:

Great coaches in both hockey and football are Christians as well, like Adam Rita (winner of a Grey Cup in 1991 with the Toronto Argonauts) and Wally Buono (winner of five Grey Cups with Calgary and British Columbia, most recently in 2011). Bob O’Billovich, a longtime successful
CFL
coach with the Toronto Argonauts and the Hamilton Tiger-Cats; Joe Gibbs, a Super Bowl winner with the Washington Redskins; and Dan Reeves, with Denver, also are well known for their beliefs. Lou Holtz, the longtime coach at Notre Dame University, and the great Tom Landry, of the Dallas Cowboys, are committed Christians.

On-field Christian leaders include
CFL
football players Damon Allen, Danny Barrett, and Kent Austin, and Toronto Argonauts Reggie Pleasant, Carl Brazley, and Pinball Clemons – who, of course, is renowned for his contributions to charities around the world.
NFL
stars Deion Sanders and the late Reggie White are also on this list, along with baseball stars such as Joe Carter, Greg Gagne, and Orel Hershiser, who were all successful players and Christians as well. Former
NBA
basketball star Dikembe Mutombo was public in his faith, and world-champion boxer George Foreman is also a Christian.

Then of course there is Tim Tebow, who became all the rage this past season. I am not the only athlete who has spoken openly about his faith. Many prominent players from various sports have done the same over the years. Perhaps no athlete has gotten as much publicity, however, as the former Denver Broncos quarterback and current New York Jets
QB
has in the past year or so.

Tebow’s parents were missionaries, and he grew up in a missionary home. His parents were preaching the gospel
everywhere they went, so with that kind of a background, his public persona is just a natural extension of who he is as a person.

I applaud a guy like that. He’s such a competitor on the field, and he is as passionate about his faith as he is about his game. His style is not everybody’s cup of tea. And it certainly generates a lot of discussion and publicity, both pro and con. How he is treated in the United States demonstrates that if a Christian speaks about his or her faith overtly, the press is going to take it on. That’s just the way it is. The thing that irritates me about it all is that his ability to play is questioned as a result of his faith, which isn’t fair.

I think Tim Tebow is an authentic guy and a very good athlete who tries to live the Christian life. And one benefit about a guy like him being so public about his faith is that it gets people thinking and talking about the issue.

I never gave any thought to the spiritual side of my life until I was challenged to do so at thirty years old, and there are a lot of people who have never thought about it. If someone like Tim Tebow comes forth and is willing to talk about his faith, perhaps that will get people to examine their own lives.

If you are inquisitive – if you ask, “What is this all about?” when it comes to your life – then at least you are thinking about what really matters in your life. If a Tim Tebow coming along causes a person with no spiritual background to at least look into it, then it’s a positive result.

Sure, some people may dismiss it immediately after discussing it. You also get some crazies who are more embarrassing than anything else in the way they act about spiritual discussion. But it’s all subjective; I’ll let the Lord
figure out whether all this publicity over an athlete discussing his religion so openly is a positive.

I do know this: some of my biggest critics when I first started talking about my faith are Christians themselves now, so how can that not be a positive?

I needed to see successful people who were also devoted Christians, especially when I first became a Christian. I needed to see that because, like many people, I thought Christianity was a crutch for those who couldn’t succeed. Fortunately I met many successful Christian people in Birmingham, especially my mentor John Bradford and others. None of them, nor the great athletes I have just named, are just Christians on Sunday. They are Christians every day of the week. I was blown away by how successful and generous some of them were and still are. They say a sermon seen is worth a hundred preached, and these people lived their faith daily. I needed to see that, and I got that opportunity.

When I first became a Christian, I was still very immature regarding how to live the Christian life. A lot of players and other people didn’t know how to handle me or what to think about me. Initially, I was way too aggressive, trying to convert people I met. In my zeal I wasn’t being very intelligent about it. I was actually turning some people off, which was the opposite of what I was trying to accomplish. All I knew was that the Lord had changed me and I was convinced that other people’s lives could be changed for the better as well.

One of my teammates on the Toronto Toros, Gavin Kirk, gave it to me straight one time. “Paul, you are a good guy, but you sure are a pain in the ass with all that talk about
religion!” He was right. Looking back, I really came on far too strong back then.

John Bradford really helped me with that. There are times and places when you need to keep your mouth shut, I learned. You need to pick your spots and find the right time to talk about it. I learned that it was better to ask permission to talk about faith with someone – you shouldn’t start giving answers to people who aren’t asking any questions. I would give the Birmingham Bulls players a personalized Bible the way Mel Stevens had done for me and would talk about it when they were ready. That was a lesson well learned.