The Girl on the Cliff (50 page)

Grania sighed. ‘I love him,’ she admitted sadly. ‘But it all went wrong months ago. And he’s with someone else now.’

‘You know this for sure?’

‘Yes,’ Grania nodded.

‘But maybe he doesn’t love this other person?’

‘Hans, you’re very sweet, but really, I don’t want to talk about it any further. And I’m only embarrassed that my love life has caused all this upset.’

‘Well, perhaps Aurora was simply trying to return a little of the love and care you have shown to her. Do not blame her or chastise her when you see her, Grania, will you?’

‘Of course not. Believe me, Hans,’ breathed Grania with feeling, ‘I want to forget this whole episode ever happened.’

When Grania arrived home in Dunworley the following lunchtime, she drove straight up to her studio, knowing that Aurora wouldn’t be home for a few hours yet and not wishing to be interrogated by her mother. She sat down at her workbench and began to sketch the outline of a new sculpture. At teatime, Grania reluctantly drove herself back down to the farmhouse.

‘Mummy!’ A small thunderbolt emerged from inside it and threw itself into her arms. ‘I’ve missed you.’

‘And I’ve missed you,’ Grania smiled as she hugged her tightly.

‘New York was wonderful! I bought you lots of presents. But I’m very glad to be home now and see you,’ Aurora said as she pulled her towards the house. ‘And you’ll never guess who’s decided to come back with me for a visit.’

‘Hi there, Grania.’

Grania halted on the threshold of the kitchen when she saw who was sitting at the table. Her heart began to bang against her chest. Finally, she found her voice. ‘What are
you
doing here?’

‘I came to see you, honey.’

Grania glanced at her mother, who seemed to be set on ‘pause’, the teapot suspended above Matt’s cup as she stared at her daughter and watched for her reaction.

‘He wanted to see you,’ shrugged Aurora. Her voice echoed into the silence. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Mummy?’

Grania was too shocked to answer. She watched Aurora walk towards Matt and hug him.

‘Don’t worry, Matt, I said she’d be surprised, but I’m sure underneath it she’s happy. Aren’t you, Mummy?’

Aurora, Kathleen and Matt stared at her for a reply. Grania felt like a cornered animal. And had her usual instinct to bolt.

‘Well now,’ Kathleen did her best to break the tension, ‘I’m sure ’tis a shock for Grania to see her … old friend sitting at our kitchen table,’ she said to Aurora.

‘Mummy, please don’t be cross,’ begged Aurora. ‘I had to go to see Matt in New York, really I did. He telephoned here, you see, when you were away with Daddy on your honeymoon. And I told him you’d got married. Which you aren’t any more, are you, Grania? And I didn’t want Matt to think you were, when you weren’t, if you see what I mean. I told Matt that underneath, you really did want to see him, and so I –’

‘Aurora,
please
!’ Grania couldn’t take any more.

‘Grania’s tired, like we are, honey,’ interjected Matt gently. ‘And I’m sure we have some talking to do, don’t we, Grania?’

‘Let’s be getting you upstairs and into a bath, miss. Scrub off that dirt from those planes, and then it’s an early night.’ Kathleen grabbed Aurora’s hand and pulled her out of the kitchen, closing the door firmly behind them.

Grania gave a deep sigh and took a step further into the
kitchen. ‘So, what
are
you doing here?’ she asked Matt coldly.

‘It was Aurora’s suggestion at first,’ Matt admitted, ‘but she’s right, Grania. I needed to come and see you, so at least we could talk, and I could understand why you left me.’

In slow motion, Grania took a mug out of the cupboard and poured herself some tea from the pot.

Matt surveyed her. ‘Well?’

‘Well, what?’ she asked, taking a sip of lukewarm tea.

‘Can we talk?’

‘Matt, I have nothing to say to you.’

‘OK.’ Matt knew how stubborn Grania could be when she’d dug herself in. He had to tread carefully. ‘Well, perhaps, as I’ve just flown across the world to see you, you could cut a guy a break and listen to what
he
has to say.’

‘Go ahead,’ Grania shrugged, putting her tea down and crossing her arms defensively. ‘I’m all ears.’

‘How about we go out and walk? I get the feeling that in this house you’re not the only one with ears.’

Grania offered a cursory nod, then turned and headed out of the kitchen door. Matt followed her outside and caught up with her.

‘I need to tell you, if you’re expecting any great revelations, you’re not going to get them,’ he began. ‘I still don’t know what got you so pissed that you left me. And I won’t unless you give me a clue.’ Matt glanced at her, but saw Grania’s chin was set hard, betraying no emotion. ‘Right,’ he sighed, ‘then I’ll have to tell you how it is from my point of view. Is that OK?’

Still silence, so Matt began.

‘I was in shock at first, when you upped and left. I
thought it most probably had something to do with the miscarriage. That maybe your hormones were all over the place. That, just maybe, this didn’t have as much to do with me as with losing the baby, that you just needed to get away. I understood that. And then, when I called and you were so cold, I began to realise it must be something to do with me. I asked you time and again what it was, and you wouldn’t tell me. And then you refused to talk to me at all.’ Matt sighed. ‘Jeeze, I didn’t know what to think. Weeks pass and I don’t hear from you and you don’t return. So I tie myself in knots going over and over what it is I might have done. And more than that, realising how much I love you. And miss you. Hell, Grania! My life’s been a mess since you left. A train crash, baby, in ways you wouldn’t believe possible.’

‘Ditto,’ Grania offered grudgingly.

‘When Aurora suggested this, I decided she was right,’ Matt continued. ‘That if the mountain wouldn’t come to Mohammed, I needed to get my ass on a plane and come to you. If for nothing more than an explanation, so I can stop tearing myself apart and sleep at night.’

Matt fell silent as he followed Grania up the cliff path. He had nothing else to say. Finally, they reached the top of the cliffs, and Grania sat down on her favourite rock. She rested her elbows on her knees and stared out to sea.

‘Hey, honey, please, I need to know.’ Matt crouched next to her and tipped her face up to his own. ‘Please,’ he said gently, ‘put me out of my misery.’

Her eyes were like flint as she stared at him. ‘You mean, you can still look me in the eye and tell me you don’t know?’

‘You always said I was a crap actor, honey, and I couldn’t put on a performance like this if I did.’

‘All right then.’ Grania took a deep breath. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you’d had a relationship with Charley before we met? That you were actually seeing her
when
we met? And how long was it going on for after we
did
meet? And what’s going on
now
?’

‘Grania, baby, I …’ Matt looked at her in astonishment. ‘Is that what this has all been about? The fact I was seeing Charley when we first met and I didn’t tell you?’

‘Don’t trivialise it, Matt, I hate liars. I hate liars more than anything.’

‘But I didn’t lie, Grania. I just –’ Matt shrugged.

‘Forgot to mention it,’ Grania interrupted. ‘Omitted it from your biography, even though it was current at the time.’

‘But, Grania, don’t you see?’ Matt was deeply shocked that apparently this was the reason for Grania’s exit from his life. ‘I didn’t even feel it was important. It wasn’t love or anything, just a casual relationship that –’

‘Went on for eighteen months, from what I heard from your mother and father.’

Matt looked at her oddly. ‘You heard that from my mom and dad? When? Where?’

‘When they came to see me at the hospital after the miscarriage, I was in the bathroom when they arrived. They didn’t know I was in there. Your mom talked about how sad it was I’d lost the baby, then your dad commented how much easier it would have been for you if you’d stuck with Charley and not dumped her for me.’ Grania’s eyes were sparkling with tears. ‘I suppose what they were suggesting was that my genes, coming as they do from the bogs of Ireland, weren’t up to scratch for upstate royalty such as yourself.’

‘You left me because of what you overheard my
dad
say?’ Matt sat down on the grass and put his head in his hands. ‘Hell, Grania, I accept it wasn’t a conversation that you should ever have heard, but I think you overreacted. You know what my dad’s like: as warm and sensitive as a fridge.’

‘I know,’ answered Grania with vehemence, ‘and as for overreacting, maybe I wouldn’t have done if I’d had the slightest inkling that you and Charley had once been an item. But, of course, I didn’t. Anyway,’ Grania shrugged, ‘you’re welcome to continue to pursue your blue-blooded princess now I’m out of the way,’ she added bitterly.

‘Goddamn it, Grania! I don’t know what the hell you’ve cooked up in that mind of yours, but I can honestly swear to you I’m not interested in Charley. And the point is, I never was!’

‘Then why did she answer our home phone when I called you a few weeks after I’d left?’ Grania spat the words out.

‘Oh, Jesus, baby …’ He sighed heavily. ‘It’s a long story.’ It was Matt’s turn to fall silent and stare out to sea. Eventually, he said, ‘All I can promise you is that Charley is out of my life for good.’

‘So, you’re admitting that something was going on recently?’

‘Grania,’ Matt shook his head despairingly, ‘a bit like me hearing you’d gotten yourself married, my life has been … complicated too. And sure, I can tell you the story, but it’s so bizarre, I’d doubt you’d believe it.’

‘Well, I suppose that’s one thing we share,’ said Grania quietly. ‘I’d doubt you could get more complex than the past year of my life here.’

‘No.’ Matt looked up at her. ‘And what about Aurora’s father? Did you … were you … ?’

‘Oh, Matt,’ Grania sighed, ‘so much water has flowed under the bridge since I left New York.’

‘Well, just maybe, if you had trusted in my love for you in the first place, and believed that if I’d have wanted my “blue-blooded princess”, as you call her, I could have had her, then none of this would have happened.’

‘But it has happened, Matt,’ said Grania, ‘and yes, I accept that when I heard what your dad said, I was in a state of high emotion. Yes, I was irrational. Losing the baby brought out every insecurity I had. I was hurting so much at the time, and I bolted. Hans says –’ she bit her lip – ‘that my pride makes me do stupid things. And he’s probably right,’ Grania admitted.

‘Hey, I don’t know who this “Hans” is, but I’d sure like to meet him,’ Matt commented wryly.

‘But don’t you see? When I
did
calm down and realised I was probably overreacting, a couple of weeks after I left, I called you at home to try and sort it out. But Charley answered the phone and I flipped. It was confirmation of my worst fear.’

‘Yeah, I can see how it would have been.’ Matt reached out a tentative hand to Grania. ‘Well, baby, I’ve sure got some stuff to tell you. But I’m nearing hypothermia out here. Is there any place we can go where we can talk, over some food perhaps? I could use a bite to eat.’

Grania took Matt to a pub in nearby Ring that served fresh seafood straight from the day’s catch. She sat opposite him, feeling uncomfortable. Gone was the unconscious touch of the hand, the easy familiarity which came out of
years of love. Matt felt both familiar and yet unknown.

‘So,’ he asked across the table, ‘who’s gonna tell their story first?’

‘Well, as I’d begun, I might as well continue.’ Grania looked at him. ‘And I want us both to be truthful. After all, we have nothing to lose, and maybe we owe it to each other.’

‘Agreed,’ said Matt. ‘There’s a lot you’re not gonna like. But, I swear, what I say, you can believe.’

‘Me too,’ said Grania quietly. ‘OK, so Aurora’s obviously told you how we met. What you want to know is about my relationship with Alexander?’

‘Yup.’ Matt steeled himself to hear it. And as he listened to Grania explaining the dramatic events of the past few months, Matt noticed that she was different, more mature and softer, somehow. And even as she told him of the closeness of the relationship she’d forged with Alexander, Matt found he loved her more. For her goodness, her generosity and the strength she had shown in what sounded like dreadful circumstances.

‘… and that brings us up to date, really,’ Grania shrugged.

‘Wow, that’s quite a story,’ Matt sighed. ‘Thanks, baby, for being so honest. Listen,’ he said reluctantly, needing to clear up one point so he didn’t fret later. ‘Please understand I’m just a guy, and I really wanna believe that your physical relationship with him didn’t go any further. But if it did, please tell me.’

‘Matt, we kissed and that was all. I swear. He was so ill.’ Grania reddened. ‘But if I’m honest, I can’t say it wouldn’t have happened if he’d been well. I was attracted to him.’

‘Right,’ Matt shuddered at the thought, but knew he
must handle it. ‘OK, so … your name is now Grania Devonshire, you’re a widow with a nine-year-old child.
And
rich to boot. My, that takes some doing in the space of a few months!’ he grimaced.

‘Yes, I know, but I promise I’ve told you the truth. And Aurora and my parents can verify almost every word of it. Now, Matt, I think we both need another drink. And after that, I’d like you to tell me about Charley.’

Matt went to the bar and, while he ordered, realised with a heavy heart that every word which would fall from his mouth would only underline all Grania’s preconceptions and insecurities.

Grania watched him as he stood there, chatting in his naturally easy way to the barmaid. He looked older than she’d remembered him. Perhaps it was the stress of the past few months which had imprinted the contours of maturity on his boyish face. Whatever it was, she thought with a sigh, it had only made him more attractive.

He placed the drinks in front of them. ‘Thought I’d try the local brew,’ he smiled, taking a sip of Murphy’s. ‘Now, I told you earlier it wasn’t gonna be pleasant, but here goes …’