The Gift in You: Discovering New Life Through Gifts Hidden in Your Mind (15 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
{YOU CAN CHOOSE THE LOVE TREE OR THE FEAR TREE}

Up until now we have been talking about our gifts as the unique way we think. You have worked through the profile to find and interpret your gift, and I have told you how you can recognize through your attitude that you have gift-blockers in action. I have also shown you from a scientific perspective that choice is a brain fact and you can choose your reactions to the situations and circumstances of life.

Now, I want to discuss the two trees we can choose to build in our life and their consequences. I want to show you the consequences of in- vesting in your thought life in either the fear or love direction. It is also very important to recognize the depth of how our thoughts affect our brains and our
biologies
. Our thoughts are the roots, while the affects are the branches, fruits and leaves on the tree.

Our gifts - how we think - can select, modify and regulate gene activity. This means our genetic expression is constantly being remodeled in response to life experiences. Our perceptions of life shape our biology and the character of our lives.
²⁷
Because you have a unique way of thinking that no one else has, you will filter information and see the world differently than anyone else.

Your gift operates best in a peaceful love, not fear, environment: "Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel" (Philippians 4:7 CEV). So, thoughts are the mind's electrical chemical energy - or fuel - and they will directly influence how the brain controls the body and itself.

This thought energy can activate or inhibit the proteins cells make, so we can never avoid the fact that there will be consequences to how we invest in our thoughts. Our genes don't control our thoughts; our thoughts control our genes.
²⁸

If you choose to see a world filled with love and wonder and beauty, your brain and body will respond by growing in health. If, however, you choose to believe in a dark world filled with fear, your brain and body will become toxic and sick.

Trees have roots planted in soil, which provides the environment from which they obtain nourishment. In my image of the "Fear Tree," you will see twelve roots that are twelve areas of toxic thinking that flourish in fearful soil (see page 145).

These are gift-blockers. The implications of these are huge in that when you make a decision to change your life, you need to pay attention not only to the seeds that are being planted in your mind but what kind of soil is providing nourishment - love or fear.

For example, if you are coming out of an alcohol addiction, you should not mix with people drinking alcohol or frequent the places where you used to drink alcohol. If you do, you risk planting your thoughts back into fear soil and the old manifestation will try to grow back from this "nourishment." On the branches of this Fear Tree are the manifestations of fear - these have grown out of the trunk of stress, which is the result of each area of toxic thinking, as we have learned.

Out of the soil of fear grows the trunk of stress. And out of the trunk of stress grows, for example, the branches of anxiety, depression, addictions, physical illness and learning disorders. The fruits of these will be the different types of anxiety and depression and illness and so on. The roots produce fruit and, in the case of the "tree of fear and death," toxic fruit.

Through all the biological explanations given up till now, we see that our thoughts will have consequences, which are manifestations - the toxic fruit on the tree. 87-95% of mental and physical illness today comes from our thought lives - these illnesses are the bad fruit on the tree.
²⁹

Then there is the Love Tree whose roots are the opposite of the toxic roots - healthy thinking, healthy emotions, healthy words and other elements that nourish your gift. This tree grows in the soil of love, growing branches of forgiveness, caring, selflessness, truth, hope, trust, looking for the best, perseverance, faith (1 Corinthians 13), joy and peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV). These will manifest in the fruits of happiness and fun and
calmnes
, allowing you to enjoy life and grow in your gift.

We are each so different, so no one description will cover all the different types of manifestations of our thought lives. The branches and fruits of the dirty dozen (the roots of the Fear Tree) are definitely not all-inclusive, but give a broad idea of the concept. As medical science and neuroscience progress and we get deeper understanding, we will discover even more.

Each of us will manifest the Fear Tree and the Love Tree in our own unique way, so what I have done in the next section is briefly explain the branches and fruits - the manifestations or consequences of the gift-blockers. In the following chapters I will talk about each one of these separately, so you can better understand how to uproot them and start walking in your gift!

INTRODUCTION

You have an amazing gift, a unique and special way of thinking, so you see the world from a distinct perspective. As we go through life and interact with others, we use and develop our gifts. That's how God has designed us. However, the reality is that we have toxic thought clusters with their attached emotions that can affect how well we use our gifts and how effectively our gifts develop.

Unfortunately there are consequences to toxic thinking, especially where the efficiency of our gifts are concerned. When toxic seeds are planted these consequences grow into - "branches" (see image on page 145).

I have noticed from my experience and research that there appear to be five main "branches" that can grow out of toxic thinking. These include (but are not limited to):
¹

• physical manifestations, for example, cardiovascular problems, digestive problems, immune system disorders, skin disorders, to name just a few
  

• learning manifestations, for example, learning disorders, underachieving potential
  

• anxiety disorders, for example, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders, post traumatic stress disorders, panic attacks
  

• depressive disorders
  

• addictions (alcohol, pornography, worry, etc.)
  

If the soil is not nourishing and the root system isn't healthy, a tree can have a very difficult time thriving. In fact, it will struggle. Just like a tree, our environment is toxic and if we have toxic thoughts and gift-blockers, it is difficult for us to thrive. It will be a struggle to operate how we were created to operate in our gifts.

There are twelve areas of toxic thinking in our lives that form the roots of the "Fear Tree" (see image of the Fear Tree on page145).

Every time you have a thought, it actively changes your brain and your body - for better or for worse. There are twelve areas of toxic thoughts, which can be as harmful as poison to our minds and our bodies. Toxic thoughts don't just creep into our minds as a result of abuse or an especially horrific trauma, but they affect people in all stages of life, in every part of the world, every day. Even something as small as a minor irritation can become toxic and needs to be swept away.

Here are twelve areas where toxic thoughts can creep in and grow into gift-blockers (see page 145):
²

• Toxic Thoughts
  

• Toxic Emotions
  

• Toxic Words
  

• Toxic Love/Faith
  

• Toxic Dreams
  

• Toxic Choices
  

• Toxic Touch
  

• Toxic Seriousness/Health/Schedules
  

• Toxic Unforgiveness/Faith
  

Just like any seed, when these toxic elements are planted, they grow. Toxic seeds often take root, growing into a tree with the expression of toxic thoughts and watered with fear. The twelve areas have been separated from each other to better explain them, but they will uniquely combine together according to the structure of your gift - the way you think about life.

I cannot recreate the exact routes for toxic thoughts (gift-blockers) you may be struggling with, nor can I say for sure what the outcome will be. But when you understand the concept, you will find hope in knowing you can overcome gift-blockers. That's why I share stories of real people who have gone through and are going through toxic thinking. These are profiles of real people, but names and details have been changed.

Never forget, you can choose to change. You can choose to live in love or in fear. You can choose to let habits direct your steps or to walk in your gift. There is no manifestation or fruit that is greater than your free-will. I have tried to show you this from science with the amazing
neuroplasticity
of the brain.

Tree of Fear 

In the toxic soil watered by fear, your gift can become distorted - causing you to struggle to operate in your gift. In the soil of love, your gift will grow and mature.

Let's take Kim, for example, who has an eating disorder. Although there are many causes for an eating disorder, let's use Kim as an extreme example of someone who is struggling with one of the most powerful gift-blockers, rooted in fear. The way Kim receives information, her first pillar, will influence how something toxic takes root in her mind.

So for this example, let's assign Kim's top pillar as logical; this means she would receive information through logic and reasoning and rationalization.

Perhaps when Kim was a child, someone said something to her about her appearance, and she applied her own unique logic to the words. Kim came to her own "rational" toxic conclusion based on her perceptions, even if someone didn't mean for their words to be toxic. Her conclusion then became a toxic seed, taking root, growing and influencing her perception of herself, specifically her body image and her self-esteem - these toxic words turned into toxic thoughts.

These toxic thoughts generated toxic emotions because she felt bad about herself and what she looked like and made the incorrect assumption that everyone looked at her in the same way she looked at herself. As she meditated more and more on this, the thought cluster and negative attitude grew stronger. She chose not to discuss this with anyone, but instead internalized it, which added even more distorted perceptions to it.

As time went on the emotion grew, eventually turning into hatred for her own body, and toxic health was birthed. Over the years the toxic words and toxic seeds and toxic thoughts and toxic emotions manifested as increasing levels of depression in Kim, and an addiction was developing. Kim started making some toxic choices. By a certain age, a full-blown eating disorder had developed - depression and anxiety working with it.

Of course, not all toxic seeds grow into eating disorders; that example is an extreme one. Everyone will react differently because our gifts allow us to perceive the world differently. And obviously, one statement was not the cause of such an extreme example. Rather the toxic seed, nourished by fear, grew. Although the seed may not grow into something as visible or recognizable, healthy trees never grow from toxic seeds, and vice versa. The point is, gift-blockers are obstacles to walking in your gift.

But there is freedom from gift-blockers. As in all things, we are not meant to be bound by chains. Rather, we have been given freedom in the Lord. We have been given the opportunity to overcome circumstance - including gift-blockers that prevent us from living in the gifts we have been given.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:
{TOXIC THOUGHTS AS GIFT-BLOCKERS}

A thought may seem like something that is fleeting. A thought may seem harmless and of no consequence. Often, we think of actions as having more impact than thoughts but actions are generated from thoughts. So it is important to realize that thoughts are measurable and occupy mental "real estate."

Thoughts are active: They grow and change. Thoughts influence every decision, word, action and physical reaction we make. A thought may seem harmless. But if it becomes toxic, even just a simple thought can become physically, emotionally or spiritually dangerous.

What are "toxic thoughts" and how are they different from healthy thoughts? Toxic thoughts are thoughts that trigger negative and anxious emotions, which produce
biochemicals
that cause the body stress. They are stored in your mind, as well as in the cells of your body.

The surprising truth is that every single thought - whether positive or negative - goes through the same cycle when it forms. Thoughts are basically electrical impulses, chemicals and neurons on a physical level, but when put together, something amazing happens, something science is still attempting to explore and explain adequately - a unique thinking pattern emerges, different from every other person on the planet. This is very powerful because it means we have a distinct thinking signature - just as fingerprints are different and distinct to each person, so are our thought patterns, our gifts.

Thoughts look like a tree with branches. As the thoughts grow and become permanent, more branches grow and the connections become stronger (see diagram on page 32).

A thought becomes a gift-blocker when it is negative or toxic because the chemicals that it triggers simply block your ability to think clearly. For example, if you are worrying about something that has popped into your mind, the more attention you pay to the thought, the more it will grow and develop. It can cause you to worry, affecting your concentration during the day, your sleep at night, even making you feel ill in the process. This means the mind and body really are inherently linked, and this link starts with our thoughts.

So, what unique and distinct combination of thoughts is filling your mind today, and what is hidden in the depths of your
nonconscious
mind waiting to spring into consciousness and influence the choices you make? How many could-have, would-have, if-only thoughts are swirling through your head at this moment? What thoughts are consuming you? At what level of detail are you replaying things in your mind?

Life throws things at us that just seem to fill our brains with toxic thoughts, and they seem so hard to control. We all know this.

I have gone through many of those experiences that I would have preferred to not have on my resume of life, and I am sure you have as well. In hindsight I can always see God was working behind the scenes and that there was value to the lessons I learned. I have seen on every occasion how, when I indulged in self-pity or worry, the fruit turned bad, I felt the life draining out of me, while the gift-blocker gained strength.

I knew I had to "bring those thoughts into captivity," repent and forgive so peace and joy would flood my being again, freeing my gift. Then I would get lost in the joy of my family and my work once again.

Have you ever found yourself going to sleep thinking about a situation and then waking up thinking about the situation? Has your head ever been so filled with the toxic thought details of everything, it felt like you had to shake it to make some room for something else?

Have you ever had toxic thoughts consuming your every moment and coloring your attitude to everything?

If you have answered yes to any of the above, the chances are you have experienced toxic thinking and therefore have gift-blockers! Those toxic thoughts did nothing but harm your peace and block your ability to think clearly. You may even have lost your peace and sense of purpose in those moments.

Did you notice that as you stopped the cycle of toxic thinking, your gift started to operate again?

I know each time I indulge a gift-blocker, I can recognize a lack of peace and the "adrenalin-pumping, heart-pounding" I experience (see chapter 14).

Here are some typical emotionally-charged toxic thoughts which activate that discomfort level in the brain and those "adrenalin- pumping, heart-pounding" reactions:

• I can’t do this.
  

• I am so stressed.
  

• I can’t cope.
  

• I just know it won’t work.
  

• I hate school.
  

• I hate my job.
  

• I am not artistic.
  

• I just don’t have the energy to make a change.
  

• I should care about it now, but it’ll wait until tomorrow.
  

• Nothing ever seems to go right for me.
  

• I will start my studies tomorrow.
  

• I will start my diet tomorrow.
  

• I am just not good at anything.
  

• I am at the end of my rope.
  

• If only I were smarter.
  

• Mondays are not good days for me.
  

When the gift-blocker of toxic thinking is in motion, it's likely to produce some kind of fruit or combination of fruit - addictions, anxieties, learning problems, physical illness, depression because of the mind-body link.

That's why we must break the toxic gift-blockers by:
        

1. Choosing to capture those thoughts by using the powerful frontal lobe God has given us to stand outside of ourselves and evaluate the thoughts and to apply Godly wisdom to manage them.
   

1. Using the discomfort zones to help identify these thoughts that are gifts-blockers.
   

1. Rewiring.
   

1. Choosing to operate not in fear, but rather in love, in the promises of the Lord.
   

It's important to recognize that there are several opportunities to break the toxic cycle and that we really can choose to operate in our gifts - despite our circumstance or our past.