The Forgotten: Aten's Last Queen (32 page)

I stopped in an instant and turned toward her again. “What do you mean?”

“Ay and Horemheb are proclaiming that Tutankhaten is the rightful heir to the throne. They have the support of a good portion of the army. But the other part belongs to Pharaoh, and they are evenly matched. Pharaoh controls the tax collectors and taskmasters, and there are so many of them. They hold the palace. In the night, each side battles household by household down the streets. But Horemheb has not been able to penetrate these walls.”

“Then it is only a matter of time for us. Horemheb has always been excellent in strategy. Tutankhaten would speak of his intelligence often,” I mumbled.

“Your mother will not allow him to invade until you and your siblings are safe. She will not let her children die by Smenkhkare’s hands. So Pharaoh holds the upper hand for now. That is why you are making an appearance tonight.”

Realization dawned on me like the morning rays breaking through an open window. “We are bait. They wish to draw out the other faction. That is why we still live.”

“Yes, and I fear it will work. There is no other chance to rescue you.”

“Where is Tutankhaten?”

“He has not been seen since Second Peret. He is with Horemheb now. He is training with the sword and bow.”

“So he is safe.”

“For now.”

“But how did you get in here? Smenkhkare knows your face.”

“Nakht does not, though. He has never had an interest in your lives before. He knows none of us.”

“So Mayati’s nurse…?”

“Is just a nurse. Mayati has not had one loyal to her since she was 6. I could not risk bringing in anyone else and endangering both daughters’ lives.”

My throat went dry. “How… How can I live knowing that I have sacrificed my sister’s daughter for my own?”

“Because you have no other choice, An. It’s either one or both. No one will
ever
fault you for saving your daughter,” Tia responded.

I looked down at the floor and took a seat. Tia came beside me. Tasherit reached up and tried to grab my hair strands as they danced in the air. I felt no breeze, but my hair seemed to drift around me anyway. Wanting to avoid any further hair loss this year, I laced my finger into her right hand, which she promptly pulled into her mouth and sucked.

I could not help but smile.

And cry…

“You have been fortunate, An. Your child is healthy and strong thanks to you. She has made it through her first year and grows more beautiful each day. I will make sure she knows her birthmother,” Tia whispered in my ear. Mayati’s assigned nurse came in. She looked at us briefly but shrugged off my tears as nothing more than a mother’s worry. She left again with a few linens in her hands.

“Then we will say goodbye for the last time.”

“No, An, we will not. I do not accept that. We will meet again,” Tia said with strength in her voice.

As I looked into her eyes, the tears dried. I realized that I was giving up before the game had even started.

“The young prince will save you,” Tia said.

“Why? I am a 12-year-old girl with a child already. I spent barely three seasons as a great wife and have no one in the court loyal to me. I have no worth.”

Tia took my chin in her fingers and held my head still. She locked my eyes within hers. “You have greater value than gold or silver, certainly more than any earthly object. You are smart, observant, and good with planning. You are also a good judge of character. But most of all, you gave your brother something to live for.”

My voice felt lost in my throat for a moment before I could reply. “What do you mean?”

“You were kind to him when nobody else was. You brought him gifts and made him a part of your family. You played with him and laughed with him. You let him share his feelings with you. He has never had anyone, outside of Maia, like that. He speaks often of your wisdom and beauty. He loves you.”

“How can you know all this?”

“Because he is the one who sent me here to rescue your daughter. It is through him that I knew of Nahkt’s plans to find a nurse. He and your mother still have a few who are loyal in the palace. Unfortunately, they could not find anyone for Mayati in time.”

I shivered and felt the gooseflesh erupt on my skin. “Her child will not survive the night, will she?”

Tia finally let a few tears slide down her cheekbones. “You must be strong, An. And you must not let your sister know. All children of Akhenaten, save yourself and Tutankhaten, are to be killed. There will be no more rivals to the throne. There will never be another Smenkhkare.”

“What about Mother? How can she let this be done?” I stammered.

Tia put a finger to her lips to remind me to hush my voice. “I cannot say anymore. You must get ready and accompany your sister tonight. Say your goodbyes. And then carry her sacrifice with you.”

“No! Mayati was bred for this. Her entire life has been preparation for this moment! It is her task! She must be the one to survive! Not me. No… never should it be me!” I stood up and paced the floor.

“It
is
you, and you must accept it. Mayati is too close to Smenkhkare. She is his great wife, and the people will always see her as such. Mayati would want this for you. She believes in you.”

“But I don’t! I cannot do this! I am no leader! And what about Father? I was his great wife!”

Tia stood up and put a hand to my cheek. Her thumb wiped away the tears, just as my mother used to do for me. “But it is your mother who overshadows all others after her, even you. Your mother’s presence is strong enough to cast shadow over yours and Meketaten’s.”

I shook my head in frustration. Now I was a forgotten queen, after all I had suffered through? It was only a few seasons, but I was a great wife. I had a child. I made appearances and held court. Did I mean so little? Why did no one care to remember me? Yet these thoughts were selfish and could also be my undoing. If the people did remember me, perhaps they would want my death as well.

“An, you are greater than you realize. You have been chosen. You are favored of Aten. Do not push Him away.”

“Tutankhaten is favored,” I replied, but I could feel myself giving in to the idea.

“And so are you. Now if you do not start getting ready, I will not be able to get Tasherit out in time. The time has been set to gather the babies up. I must get her away before then. Please, An, go.”

I leaned in and kissed my sweet girl on her cheeks, one at a time. Then I took just one more breath to stare at my daughter’s face, one more beat in my chest swimming in her eyes, before I moved. I walked away so I could prepare for the night. I swallowed the lump gathering in my throat. It would not escape. I focused on the beauty of my daughter’s parting smile.

I would no longer shed my tears. There was no more time for them. Tasherit’s life depended on it.

*****

I laced my arm between Mayati’s as we walked. She had on her finest pleated dress and wig. Her arms were filled with bracelets, and her fingers were like a mine of precious stones in all different colors and shapes. I wore no wig this evening. I did not want to take it with me. If we did escape Smenkhkare’s clutches this night, I wanted nothing more of this place. Yet Mayati looked so beautiful. I stared at her, freezing this piece of time in my memory. I would remember this always. I would remember her laugh. I would remember her daughter. I would even remember her gaze was forward, full of strength and purpose. She did not glance at me. She looked to the river writhing before us as we walked toward the shoreline. It was a longer route to the hall, but the guards allowed our request.

The stars had yet to make their appearance as we stopped along the shoreline. The sunboat was heading back to the Underworld. It glowed across the rim of the land in a dark line of maroon. Everything above the line was sharp and brightly colored with pinks and oranges. Everything below it was dark and unfocused.

The lapping tongue of the Nile was strong on the shoreline. It flowed in and out, in and out, as if it too was breathing in the evening air, tasting everything about this night. As if it too wanted to take in what life it had left. Its breathing was deep and long. It savored each inhalation. After a silent pause, we began walking again to dinner.

“Mayati,” I started as we entered a side hall. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“Don’t be like that, An.”

“Mayati --!”

“Don’t say goodbyes. I do not want to hear it.”

“But I --”

“Smenkhkare may think it’s an end, but there are no ends in life. There are only new beginnings.”

“You know?”

“I asked the nurse to be sure it was quick. She understood. I will see Merytaten Tasherit again. That thought alone keeps my feet moving forward tonight. And that is all I can think about right now. So please do not start goodbyes. It is too much for me to bear right now.” Mayati seemed to struggle to breathe for a moment, but she quickly regained composure.

“Well, if you don’t want me to say nice things about you then I won’t.” We walked in a moment of silence. “Meketaten and I were a little scared of you, you know. You always wore a container’s worth of black kohl on your face.”

Mayati snorted from a short burst of laughter, “Well, I was not sure how else you would listen to me. So I decided to scare you instead. Besides, it was kind of fun seeing the expression on your faces when I’d show up.”

“Ah, so you admit to scaring us.”

“Well, what good is an older sister if she cannot traumatize the younger ones even just a little?”

“Then you did a fantastic job!”

We both smiled, but then we came upon Smenkhkare Hall. I think we both had a feeling of oppression sweep us up. We could hear a clamor of people inside, but we knew an audience would not deter Smenkhkare from any plans he had for us. This was where things would end… or begin. Our next step would change everything.

Our eyes met.

“I’m sorry I could not do better for you and Meketaten,” she said.

“I’m sorry we do not have more time.”

We blinked as one, erasing the tears. No time for such things.

A hand came upon my shoulder, and I could feel the guard firmly pushing me forward. So we entered the hall with no choice left to us, just a shove. Time once again moved forward, and so did we.

Smenkhkare had gathered my sisters at his table already. There was a place on either side of him for Mayati and me. Guards surrounded us from the back and sides of the hall. The front was left clear so we could view all those gathered.

“Merytaten, you look ravishing tonight,” Smenkhkare said jovially.

“I am happy to have pleased you, Pharaoh.”

“In truth, it is not you who has displeased me. It’s your family I cannot abide.”

I felt bold, “Even your own uncle? He welcomed you here, shared his kingdom with you.”

“Both my mother’s brothers were so accomplished, weren’t they?” Smenkhkare spat on the ground loudly. “One brought about famine and pestilence. The other killed the gods and moved the capitol to this desolate wasteland. Tell me, what is there to remember favorably?” His voice had an edge like a sword to it.

I felt no fear, though. “Then you never met him. My father had love in him. He cared about the people. He wanted them to be enlightened. He loved his brother so much that he started this city in his honor.”

“And he named himself after the city. I see the honor for his brother in that.” The sarcasm ripened his tone.

“Because who would want a city named after someone who brought famine and pestilence? All he wanted to do was honor God as his brother had. What do you honor?”

“Pharaoh, of course. What else should there be? I am the incarnate of Aten. I am the one they worship.” He answered like he was speaking to a child, as if the concept was beyond my comprehension. “You think they love Aten? They love their pharaoh. The people were never enlightened. It made no sense to them. Worshipping some unknown, all-powerful being from above? Someone who is supposed to be watching over us? There are no gods. There is only man.”

“How can you say that? Of course there is God.”

“Then where is He? Have you ever seen Him, felt Him next to you, watched Him save a loved one from dying? There is no one out there. The earth and waters are dead things, and man has conquered them. There is nothing more needed but a leader, but me. We prosper because of me.”

“You don’t need to see Him to know that He’s there! Open up your heart to Him. That is what Father did.”

“And look where that got him! A wife who poisoned him to death and people who would rather forget he ever existed. He knew he was being poisoned and he let himself die. And why? It’s because he finally realized what I had been telling him. There was never a God!”

I sucked in a breath. His words had poisoned Father’s faith? “Mayati has defended you all these seasons, but now I know that you are truly mad.”

“You just cannot accept the truth yet. But you will. Of course, you probably will not live out the night, so I guess you can go on believing what you want.”

I had never heard such talk before. I had doubted, but I had never not believed in God. All at once I felt pity for this man before me. He had nothing but himself in this world. What was the point to it all then? “I don’t understand. You saw images of the gods everyday in Waset growing up. How could you doubt their presence?”

“And thanks to my
uncle
, Djhutmose, they are crumbling. He had a magic beyond anything we had seen before. He crashed our walls, destroyed our people, then fled without challenge. Did you know your grandfather Ay led the charge to capture him and failed? He was the only one who made it out of the sea alive that day. He should have died with his company. It’s why he is no longer a general. He still carries it with him, his defeat by fire and water. It’s as if the very earth itself refused him, spat him out, and showed him what a failure he was. He tries to make it right by his attempts to run the kingdom, but he needs to learn his place. God or what-have-you left these lands, and we watched them leave. Now man must take control, and Ay refuses to see that.”

“Man does not create the floods, only God can do that. You see that every year! All that is yielded from it is gifts from God. The food, the drink --”