The Forgetting (6 page)

“Why do you want to know?” she said.

“I'm looking for her. That's why.” I mirrored her stance—chest thrust out, hands on my hips.

She smirked at my lame attempt at bravado. “Well, you'll be looking a long time. Jules told me she's dead.”

“Jules is your—um—handler?”

“Yeah.” She snorted. “My
handler
.” She tossed her head and her dark hair slithered around her shoulders. “Look, all I know is a few weeks ago, he told me I should take this spot, and it's a better shithole than the shithole I was in, so I took it.”

“Did he say what happened to her?”

“No, and I didn't ask.” She stared over the fence at the gravestones beyond. “I know when to shut up and do what I'm told.”

Footsteps reverberated from around the corner. The girl squared her shoulders and perched at the curb. “You better go. I don't want you fucking up another one of my deals.”

“But—”

“
Go.
”

I didn't want to tell her I had nowhere to go. A figure appeared across the street and she backed up. “Oh, great. Here comes the knight in shining armor.” She jabbed her finger at me. “This is
your
fault. He probably heard you yelling your head off.”

I backed up into the shadows of the gate. The “knight in shining armor” crossed the street. “Everything okay, Char?”

“It
was
before you got here.”

“Thought I heard someone yell.”

“It was nothing.”

I shifted against the cold iron. From my new position, the dirty yellow light of the street lamp fell over the newcomer. My breath caught.
Blond
hair, blue eyes
…the memory was instant. Before I could stop myself, I moved out from the shadows. “Nate?”

The boy turned, confusion written on his face. “Yeah?”

“What—are you—doing here?”

He squinted at me. “I'm sorry. Do I know you?”

I stumbled back a step. “Ye—no,” I corrected myself. My insides twisted and turned with something other than pain, other than the Catch; something I had never felt before. Something I had read about in books and dreamed of but never experienced.

He didn't know me. And I—
Georgie
—didn't know him. But Jane Doe did. She knew everything about him, and now I did too. I could feel it all around the heart, the knowledge of him imprinted there.

She didn't just know him. She loved him.

Love shook my heart

Like the wind on the mountain

Rushing over the oak trees.

—Sappho

The boy, Nate—
how
did
I
know
his
name?
—turned to Char. “Who's your friend?”

She shrugged. “No one. Never seen her before.” She whipped around to face me, hands on her hips. “And I hope I never see her again.”

“I–I'm sorry…” Shaking my head, I edged away from them along the iron fence. I had to get away from them, from
him
. I had to get someplace where I could feel myself and not
her
.

Nate stepped closer to me, light from the street lamp bisecting his face. “Are you okay? Do you need some help?”

“No, I'm fine.”

He blocked my path, his eyes narrowed at me. “Are you sure? Because I can help.”

Char snorted. We both glanced at her. She was facing away from us, looking down the empty street. “You two are really cramping my style. Why don't you take your little Batman-and-Robin routine someplace else?”

“I just wanted to check in with you, Char.”

“Yeah?” Char spread her arms wide. “Well, here I am. There, you've checked.”

Nate cocked his head to the side, staring at her for a moment. “What'd you take tonight, Char?”

Her face tightened and she jerked her shoulders back. “
Go. Away.
”

That sounded like a good idea. I stepped around Nate, but as I passed him, he grabbed my wrist. I pulled away with such violence that he stumbled backward. He threw his hands up and said, “Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—”

“No, it's okay. I have to go.” Jane Doe was everywhere inside me, pounding my heart into my ribs, my throat, my brain, filling me with her emotions. The other memories had been vivid; I'd experienced them with all of my senses, but this one was stronger by far, brimming with some kind of exquisite pain that I felt in every corner of my being.
Go
away
, I told her, echoing Char to Nate.
Please
just
go
away.
I stepped off the curb, my body shaking.

The low thrum of a heavy beat-box shattered the silent street. I turned just as headlights shone over the sidewalk and a black Escalade rolled around the corner.

“Shit,” Char said. “You're in for it now.” Her voice was still tough, but even in the darkness I saw the fear plain on her face.

“Dammit,” Nate breathed, his eyes fixed on the SUV.

I moved toward the opposite side of the street, hoping to get around the block before whoever was in the Escalade saw me, but pain seared my scar—my own pain, not Jane Doe's. I doubled over in the middle of the street, my breath coming in shallow gasps. The Escalade's headlights caught me in their glare. I tried to straighten. My chest felt ready to crack open. I bent over again and felt an arm come around me.

“Hey,” Nate said, “are you okay?”

“I…just…need…to…catch…my…breath.” Red spots popped in front of my eyes. I heard the car door open and I felt Jane Doe's fear in my heart, the same fear I'd felt in her memory of this place. She was afraid of whoever was going to step out of that SUV.

“What the fuck is this?” The voice, deep and ruggedly male, rang out over the street. Footsteps smacked the pavement, measured and confident, as he made his way closer to us. “You. Are you fucking with my girls again?”

Nate kept his hand on my shoulder as he straightened. “I'm not fucking with anyone, Jules.”

The footsteps stopped. From my bent-over vantage point, I could see black boots with silver steel toes and heels. “You think I was kidding around when I said if I ever saw you near my girls again, I'd fuck you up? Do you?” His tone was even and calm, like this was a threat he made every day. It probably was.

I forced air past the fear in my rib cage and took a couple of deep breaths. “It was my fault,” I said, drawing myself up. “He's with me.”

The light from the street lamp flickered so that the whole of Jules came to me in pieces. His tight designer jeans, ripped in all the right places. His long, manicured fingers, tensed at his side, each knuckle adorned with a silver ring. His bright white teeth, just visible behind the grimace of his lips. I took in his face—the strong slant of his cheekbones, the perfectly trimmed sideburns—before I had the guts to meet his eyes. From a distance, I would've thought he was hot. But his eyes were a bottomless nothing. Like any soul in there had disappeared long ago.

Jules took in every inch of me, moving his gaze very deliberately up and down my body. The pink tip of his tongue darted in and out of his lips. “And who are you?” he asked. He smiled. The way a cat smiles when it has trapped a mouse beneath its paw.

I took a step back. Beside me, Nate tensed, and I immediately knew that I shouldn't have moved. “I'm nobody,” I said, the words trembling in my mouth. The fear was tangible, my own and Jane Doe's. But there, entwined with Jane Doe's memories of this man, was her disgust for him. I fixed on that and pulled it to the surface. Planting my feet and squaring my shoulders, I never took my eyes off Jules's face. “Nobody to you, I mean.”

Jules raised an eyebrow. “You better be nobody. Because I don't like somebodies who
get
in
my
way
.” His gaze flickered to Nate. “And
you
have gotten in my way one too many times.”

The passenger-side door of the Escalade opened and a hulking figure with a mop of white-blond hair stepped out. He just stood next to the car, but the bulge of a gun was clear through his suit jacket. Nate shifted so that he was in front of me.

Jules laughed. “Yeah, real brave, man. You know what they say about the brave, right?” He stepped toward us. “They die young.”

The blond guy reached into his jacket. I grabbed Nate's arm.

“It wasn't him,” I said before I could think. “I told him to bring me here. I wanted to help him.” I walked backward, dragging Nate with me. “I'm sorry. It was a really bad idea. We'll just leave now, okay?”

“Not okay.” For every step back we took, Jules took one forward. He pointed at Char without looking at her. “She wouldn't be standing here if it was okay. She'd be off making me money.” He swung his arm so that his finger pointed directly at me. “You're costing me money, bitch. That is definitely
not
okay
.”

The air around all of us froze, tension thick as ice. I tried to swallow but my throat was stuck. The silence stretched on and on as Jules and I stared at each other. Finally, he broke the world's longest minute with a cold laugh.

“Hey,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, “I'm a reasonable guy. You get one get-out-of-jail-free card. But…” He stepped in close, so close that his breath was cool on my face. I was right; there was no soul heating his insides. I willed myself to not look away as his eyes stabbed into me. “If I ever see you again,” he went on, like honey dripping with poison, “I will hurt you. I will hurt your little boyfriend here, and I will hurt whichever of my girls you are trying to help. Got that?”

I tasted blood in my mouth as I bit the inside of my cheek. He held my gaze until I nodded once, short and quick. His lips curved into a smile. “You know, you're kinda cute,” he said. “Let me know if you wanna make some extra cash.”

Nate's hand tightened on my arm as I shuddered. The big blond guy ducked back into the Escalade. On his way back to the car, Jules said something in Char's ear and slapped her hard on the ass.

The Escalade revved its engine as he climbed in. Nate pushed me out of the way as the SUV zoomed by us, and the three of us stood frozen until the sound of the car faded. Nate cleared his throat. “Char, you know where to find me if you need help.”

Without waiting for an answer, which she didn't seem inclined to give anyway, he propelled me across the street. “He'll be back to check that we're gone,” he told me. “Let's make sure we are.”

“You think?” I said. My whole body shook. The reality of this street, of the place it had held in Jane Doe's life, crashed through me.
She'd been a prostitute
. I felt like I might throw up. I pulled my arm out of Nate's grip and backed up against the nearest wall. “I…need a minute.” I slid down until my butt hit the ground and dropped my head onto my knees.

Nate squatted in front of me. “Take deep breaths.”

I concentrated on counting my inhales and exhales. With each breath, I felt Jane Doe subside. I was becoming Georgie again. Whoever the hell Georgie was now. The old Georgie would be at home, practicing her oboe until she sounded better than a recording. I pinched my forehead together. What the hell was happening to me?

“Feeling better?”

I looked up. I'd almost forgotten Nate was there. “Yeah,” I lied and pushed myself up to stand. The instant my legs straightened, I fell back against the wall, dizzy. “Whoa.”

“‘Whoa' is right.” Nate took my elbow. I didn't have the strength to shake him off. “Let me get you someplace warm.”

A chill ran through me, from the inside out. Chills, dizziness…
rejection
. With shaking fingers, I touched my forehead. My skin was cool and dry. No fever.
Still…
“I have to get home.”

He helped me along the sidewalk. “Is it nearby? I'll walk you.”

I shook my head. The motion made me stumble. “I need a cab.”

Nate looked sideways at me. “Yeah, you don't really seem like you're from around here.” He raised an eyebrow. “What were you doing out here?”

“Looking for—never mind.” I tugged away from him and stopped at the curb, looking up and down the street. It was deserted except for the flickering pools of light given off by the street lamps. I reached into the front pocket of my bag and pulled out my phone. I could feel Nate's eyes on me as I found the number of the cab company I'd used to get to this corner of hell in the first place. I edged away from him as the line picked up.

“Forty-five minutes?” I repeated in a high-pitched voice when the receptionist told me how long it would be. “Seriously?”

“Sorry, hon. All of our drivers are out. Where are you, exactly?”

“I'm—” I turned a half-circle and stopped when the movement made me dizzy again. “In the middle of nowhere. I don't know. Somewhere in Mattapan.”

“I need an address, hon.”

“Tell them All Saints on the corner of Almont and Nashua,” Nate said. “It's nearby.”

I kept my eyes on him as I spoke into the phone. The receptionist confirmed it. “Keep your phone on you. We'll call you when they're out front.”

“Okay. Thanks.” I hit End, my eyes still locked on Nate's face. He returned my gaze, but his eyes were full of questions and suspicions. Questions I couldn't answer and suspicions that were probably nowhere near the truth. “Um, so where's this All Saints?”

“It's just around the corner.”

He walked slowly for my benefit. I ignored the way he kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. Everything about him was familiar. What the hell was Jane Doe doing to me? I had never been in love before, but I could feel the knowledge of that emotion in the blood that Jane Doe's heart was pumping through my veins. I turned my head away from Nate so my hair fell over my shoulder and shielded my face from him. It wasn't fair. I wanted to fall in love in my own way, not have it thrust upon me. She was taking over everything. She owned not just my physical heart but my emotional one too.

“Here we are.”

I looked up at an old stone church, towering over the block like a giant gargoyle. I started up the steps but Nate touched my arm. “Not that way.” I followed him around the side of the building and down a short flight of stairs to a little red door. Nate dug into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. I glanced up at the eave that hung over us as he unlocked the door. This felt familiar too. Had Jane Doe also come to this place?

He swung open the door, reached to his left, and flicked a switch. The fluorescent lights illuminated the green linoleum floor and the mismatched tables and chairs. The Catch echoed inside me. Yes, Jane Doe had come here.

“Do you want some tea?” Nate didn't wait for an answer and headed over to the little kitchen on the other side of the room.

“Yeah. Tea would be great. Thanks.” I followed slowly, running my fingers over the edges of the furniture I passed. With each touch, a new memory of this place blossomed.
Laughter. Warmth. Safety
. This had been Jane Doe's refuge.

Nate pulled two mugs down from the cabinet and filled them with water from the water cooler against the wall. “Black or herbal?”

“Herbal, please.” I perched on the table closest to the kitchen. “Do you, like, work here?”

“Sort of.” He put the mugs in the microwave and set it for a minute. “I volunteer for FAIR Girls. They run a chapter out of here.”

“What's fair girls?”

“It's an organization that helps trafficked kids.” He pointed to a poster on the wall. “TRAFFICKED CHILDREN ARE HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT,” it read beneath a picture of a young girl surrounded by shadowy adults. “FAIR GIRLS” was emblazoned in yellow across the top.

“Trafficked? Like—”

“Sex trafficking? Yes.”

The microwave dinged. I watched him take the mugs out and dunk a tea bag into each. When he turned and held a mug out to me, I took it and our fingertips grazed. My heart jumped a little, but who the hell knew if it was my own reaction or Jane Doe's?

“I, um, didn't realize that happened here in Boston.”

“A lot of people don't.” Nate half smiled. “That's a lot of what FAIR Girls does. Educate the public.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I'd like a little education here. You still haven't told me your name.”