Authors: Julie Kagawa
I paused. A chair sat against the back wall, silhouetted against the glass of an unbroken window and the night sky. The floor around it was streaked with old blood, and the scent reached me a moment later, stirring the Hunger. Wondering if this was Sarren’s latest handiwork, I eased forward a bit, then froze.
A body sat in the chair, slumped forward with its head bowed, arms tied behind the chair back. The body was still, far too still to be alive. A raider, perhaps? I edged closer, studying the corpse. Moonlight filtered through the glass and cast a dark shadow over the floor, outlining the lean, ragged body, glimmering off its pale hair.
Oh, God…
My katana dropped from nerveless fingers, striking the ground with a clink. I couldn’t move. My mind had snapped; I was seeing things that weren’t there. Because I knew this wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. He was dead; I’d listened to him die.
Dazed, I took one step forward, then stopped, clenching my fists.
No,
I told myself furiously.
Don’t believe it, Allison. That’s what Sarren wants.
This was a trick. A ploy to make me fall apart. Like the heart in the stairwell. Sarren was playing me, and if I went up to that body, it would explode, or trigger a trap, or leap up and try to kill me. It wasn’t him. Or maybe it
was,
and I’d walk up only to see a half-rotted corpse with a gaping hole in his chest where his heart had been.
“It’s not him.” My voice was resolute. Squeezing my eyes shut, I bowed my head, cutting off my emotions. Willing myself to believe my own words. This would not work. I would not give Sarren the satisfaction of breaking me. Zeke was dead. It still killed me, ripped me to pieces inside, but I knew he was gone. “It’s not him,” I said again, a cold numbness settling around my heart. Reaching down, I picked up my sword, rose with icy resolve, and deliberately turned from the body. “Stop hiding,” I told the darkness and shadows. “I am not falling for it. Come out and face me, you fucking psychopath. I’m done playing games.”
“Allison?”
My stomach dropped, and for the second time that night, the world froze. Sarren might be able to disguise a body. He might even be able to alter a corpse, make it look like someone I knew, someone I longed to see again. He could not disguise a voice. Especially one so familiar, one that had been on my mind for weeks, in my thoughts every single day. A voice I’d thought I would never hear again.
Slowly, I turned. The body in the chair hadn’t moved, still slumped forward with its head bowed. But as I watched, it stirred, raising its head…and I felt the earth shatter as his familiar, piercing blue eyes met mine across the floor.
“Hey, vampire girl,” Zeke whispered, his voice slightly choked. “I knew…you’d come for me.”
This…can’t be real.
I stared at the body across from me, unable to process what was happening, not daring to believe. This was wrong; it had to be a trap. Sarren was still playing his sick games, and in a moment this would all fall apart. I couldn’t start believing, didn’t dare to hope. My heart was just beginning to heal from being so brutally shattered; if I started to hope, only to have that hope crushed again, I didn’t know if I would recover.
“Allie?” The human’s voice drifted to me, weak with pain and exhaustion. A trickle of dried blood ran from one corner of his mouth, and dark circles crouched beneath his eyes. He looked beaten, bloody and in pain, but alive. He coughed, shoulders heaving, and gazed at me, imploring. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, trying to ignore my heart, the way it seemed to leap in my chest, like it was alive again. Around us, the world had stopped; time had frozen into this brittle, dreamlike moment where nothing was real. “It’s not you,” I told the body in the chair, knowing I sounded insane. “You can’t be here. I listened to you die.”
“I know,” he whispered, holding my gaze. I didn’t move, wary and disbelieving, pleading for him to prove me wrong. The human sighed. “I know…how it looks,” he went on. “But it’s all right. This isn’t a trap, or a trick. I don’t…have a bomb strapped to me, I swear.” He gave a faint, rueful smile, so familiar I felt my throat close up. “I’m still here. It’s…really me, Allison.”
My knees were suddenly shaky, and I couldn’t take it anymore. In a trance, I crossed the room to kneel in front of the chair. The wood was hard, chips of glass poking me through my clothes, but I barely felt it. I needed to touch him, to make certain this was real, that it wasn’t an illusion. My trembling hand rose to his face, brushing his cheek, as he gazed down at me, blue eyes never leaving mine. A shiver went through me the moment I touched his skin. He was pale and cold, dried blood covered his face, and his clothes were in tatters. But it was him.
It was Zeke.
“See?” he murmured, smiling at me. “Still here.”
I choked back a sob, and the world pitched into motion again. “You’re alive,” I whispered, running my fingers down his cheek. He closed his eyes and turned his face into my touch, and my heart lurched, blood singing, as it did only when around him. “How?”
Zeke smiled, then bent forward with a shudder, shoulders heaving. “I’ll tell you…everything later,” he panted, looking up again. “Right now…let’s just get out of here. Can you cut me free?”
Still in a daze, I stood, walked around the chair, and began slicing through the ropes tying him to the seat. In the back of my mind, I knew this was wrong. This was too easy, too good to be true. Sarren wouldn’t just let me saunter up, free Zeke, and walk out again. But my arms continued to move, almost by themselves, and I could only stare at the boy I’d thought was dead. Dried blood covered his shoulders and the back of his shirt, but there didn’t seem to be any wounds that I could see. Zeke waited patiently, head bowed, as I cut the bindings at his wrists, arms and waist. “Where are Kanin and Jackal?” he asked as the ropes began falling away.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “They said they would find another way up
.
”
I hope they’re okay
. Tearing my gaze from Zeke, I looked around the room once more, a last-ditch effort to be cautious. “Where’s Sarren?”
“Not here,” Zeke muttered weakly. “Don’t know…where he is now. Think he might’ve gone ahead to Eden….”
The last ropes parted, and he slumped forward, nearly falling out of the chair. I caught him around the waist and pulled him upright, steadying us both.
Zeke gazed down at me, his face so familiar, his hair falling jaggedly over his forehead. Our eyes met, and he offered a faint, familiar smile, exhausted, pained, but full of hope. My throat closed, and with a little sob, I collapsed against him, burying my face in his shirt. He murmured my name, and I closed my eyes, feeling him, solid and real, against me. The last time I’d seen him, held him like this, was in New Covington. Where, in the safety of Prince Salazar’s tower, I’d kissed Zeke and promised I would go back to Eden with him. Before Sarren had returned and stolen him away. Before I was forced to listen to the awful sounds of his torture. His screams and sobs and pleas for Sarren to kill him, before his wish was finally granted.
Or so I’d thought.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I whispered, feeling one arm slide around me, the other reach for something at the small of his back. “I thought Sarren killed you.”
“He did.”
His voice sounded strange now, cold and flat. Puzzled, I tried to pull back, but his arm tightened like a steel band, holding me close. He was strong, much stronger than I remembered. Putting both hands on his chest, I started to push him away, but stopped in horror as my nerves prickled a terrified warning.
Zeke…had no heartbeat.
Chilled, I looked up, into his face. I could see myself reflected in his eyes, as he gave me a familiar, too-bright stare— the gaze of a predator—and smiled.
“He told me to say hello,” Zeke whispered, his fangs gleaming inches from my throat.
And he plunged a blade into my chest.
Part II
LOST
Chapter 7
I gave a soundless gasp and lurched back from Zeke, my hand going to my chest. He watched impassively, blue eyes cold, the hint of a smile still on his face. I found the hilt of something poking between my breasts and grasped it, sending a ripple of agony through me. Clenching my jaw, I gathered my will and pulled. The knife slid back through my chest, ripping and slicing, and I screamed as it came free.
Shaking, grasping the hilt with limp fingers, I looked up at the boy who had haunted me every day since before New Covington. The boy who had seen past the monster and the demon to the girl beneath, and hadn’t been afraid to love her. The boy who’d once begged me never to Turn him, who had made me promise to let him go. To let him die…as a human.
“What’s wrong, vampire girl?” Zeke whispered, stepping forward. He smiled, fangs glinting in the shadows, his voice cold and mocking as he approached. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Z-Zeke.” I staggered away from him, fighting to stay on my feet. Pain blazed through my center, agony making it difficult to move, even as I felt myself healing. The knife dropped to the floor with a clatter, leaving a spray of crimson over the broken glass. “What…happened to you?”
“I died,” Zeke said, in a way that made my skin crawl. Flat and blunt, like he was discussing the weather. “I died, and Sarren brought me back.” His lips twisted in a cruel, mocking grin. “Why, Allie? What did you think happened?”
I was too horrified to answer. This…this was all wrong. This couldn’t be Zeke. “No,” I whispered, backing away from him. “Zeke, don’t you recognize me?” He cocked his head with a patronizing look, as if I was being ridiculous. Desperate, I stammered on, frantic to fix this, to snap him out of it. “Do you remember…us? Me and Kanin and Jackal, fighting Sarren, trying to stop his new virus? Do you remember being human?”
“I remember pain,” Zeke said softly. “I remember there was blood, and pain, and darkness. And then…nothing.” He blinked, seeming to shake himself from a trance, smiling again as he turned to me. “But we all started out human, didn’t we, vampire girl? I don’t need to remember that life, because that human is dead now.”
“No,” I choked, shaking my head. “No, Zeke, you don’t mean that.”
Walking to a shelf beside the counter, Zeke reached up and pulled out a familiar blade, his machete, then regarded the weapon intently. A tiny furrow creased his brow, as if he was remembering. “I sang for Sarren,” he whispered, and everything inside me went cold. “I sang and I sang, until I died. And Sarren gave me a new purpose, a new song. But the requiem isn’t over yet.”
Turning his head, he gave me a chilling stare, one that was instantly familiar. Terror lanced through me as I saw Sarren gazing at me through Zeke’s eyes.
“This is your melody, vampire girl,” Zeke said, his quiet, lilting voice making my skin crawl. “Tonight is your final performance.” He smiled, and it turned my blood to ice. “Sing for me, Allie,” he crooned, in a voice that was all too familiar. “Sing for us, and make it a glorious song.”
I staggered away from him as he stepped forward with a demonic grin, eyes and fangs bright. My katana was still on the floor beside the chair, and a part of me knew I should grab it, but I was in so much pain, and nothing seemed real. My mind was screaming denials, my body was trying desperately to heal itself, and all I could do was back away as the thing that looked like Zeke came closer.
“Zeke, please.” I continued to back away. It still hurt to move, but my wound was smaller now, and I could walk without feeling like I might collapse. That pain was nothing, however, compared to the anguish clawing at my insides as I faced Zeke. The blank look in his eyes made me want to scream, but I swallowed my despair and tried to speak calmly. “I don’t…want to fight you. Not after everything. Not after…”
Pain shot through me as I stumbled on a loose plank and nearly fell. Gritting my teeth, I pressed a hand to my bleeding chest, keeping my gaze on the vampire slowly pressing me back. An evil smile crossed his face. I was weaker than him right now, in pain, and his vampire instincts were goading him to attack, to take advantage of a wounded opponent. I remembered my Zeke: brave, determined, compassionate. The boy who hadn’t let the fact that I was a vampire scare him away, who had offered his heart to a monster, because he could see the human inside. The only living being I would ever open myself up to, because I’d trusted him. Because I’d known he would never hurt me.
To see him like this crushed something deep inside. I felt broken, as if my soul had shattered like a mirror, and the pieces were cutting me from within. I stared into the face of the boy I’d once known, and for the first time, I wished he was dead. I wished he was dead, my memories of him intact and unbroken—so that I didn’t have to remember him like this. As the monster he’d vowed never to become.
“Zeke, please, don’t do this,” I whispered, feeling something hot slide down my cheek. “What about Caleb, and Bethany, and Jeb? What about Eden?”
Zeke shook his head. “It’s too late, Allison,” he whispered, trapping me in a corner. Broken metal frames pressed against my back, and the cold night wind tossed my hair through the opening. Zeke regarded me without emotion. “All I remember of that life is pain,” he said, almost in a daze. “I sang, I died, and Sarren brought me back.” He raised his machete, the blade and his fangs gleaming in the shadows. “And now, I’m going to destroy you, Allie, because he wanted it to be me. He wanted you to see me tear the heart from your chest and crush it in my fist. It will be poetically ironic, he said, whatever that means. So, take a good look, vampire girl, before I kill you.” Zeke paused, and Sarren’s evil smile crossed his face again, his eyes going blank. “Or should I say…little bird?”
That jolted me out of my trance. I threw myself to the side as Zeke’s blade came whipping down to sink into the wall behind me. I hit the ground, rolled to my feet to face him, and barely dodged the next blow as Zeke lunged in with a snarl, slashing viciously. The machete blade passed inches from my head; as I jerked back, it sliced a shallow cut across my cheek. He was much faster than I remembered, vampire speed and strength adding to his already lethal fighting skills. I had to stop him before he could use that blade. As his follow-up blow hammered down toward my neck, I threw up a hand, catching his wrist, and braced myself as he crashed into me.