The Fixed Trilogy: Fixed on You, Found in You, Forever With You (15 page)

Also gone were his eyes. Before, whenever I was with him, his eyes never left my body, my face. Now he didn’t make eye contact once and he barely talked to me at all. Instead, he chatted comfortably with Celia, sharing inside jokes. With each step we took, I felt more and more distraught. Sobs built up in in my throat and I concentrated on forcing them back down, keeping them at bay.

We parted with our companions at the Mercedes. Celia gave me a quick hug while Hudson shook Warren’s hand and kissed Madge on the cheek. I nodded to the Werners then Hudson held the door open for me as I climbed into the passenger seat.

Before getting in himself, Hudson said goodbye to Celia. I watched through the window, my stomach curling. He hugged her and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. I wiped away the stray tear that slipped past my defenses.

Besides destroying me, watching them made me mad—mad as in crazy and mad as in angry as hell. Wasn’t Hudson supposed to be proving that he and Celia
shouldn’t
be together? And after I’d learned her true thoughts about him, I knew they shouldn’t be together. She was all wrong for him.

Envy spread through my veins like liquid ice. Celia might not have romance with Hudson, but neither did I. And she had friendship with him. At the moment, it appeared I had nothing.

We didn’t speak while we maneuvered through the long line out of the garage, Hudson humming fragments of the Brahms symphony as he drove. Was I the only one feeling the thick and heavy tension? A tension that seemed to grow thicker by the minute.

By the time we were on the road I couldn’t hold in my feelings of frustration and heartbreak any longer. “So you knew Celia would be there tonight.” It wasn’t a question. I already knew the answer, but I wanted him to say it.

His eyes widened, as if surprised at my harsh tone. “I knew Celia would be there with her parents, yes.” He glanced at me sideways. “Her parents, whom are friends with my parents, remember.”

Right. Fooling them was as essential as fooling Sophia Pierce.

What was my problem? I wrapped my arms around my chest and banged my head against the window once, twice, three times. I shouldn’t have been angry—he’d told me he’d be fake with me. I shouldn’t have been jealous—Celia had him as a friend way before I came along. And she didn’t have more than that.

And neither did I. Not since I’d ended things four days before. Funny how I’d been afraid that being with Hudson would make me fall into bad patterns. Instead, not being with him had been what triggered my anxiety that week and what made me feel so rotten at the moment.

Another tear slipped down my cheek. I dabbed at it with my knuckle.

“What’s wrong?” Hudson asked, concern in his voice. Or maybe it was simply puzzlement.

I considered what to say. I could keep the barrier up between us and evade the question. Or lie. Or confess my envy. Or I could be honest.

Unable to go another minute with the loneliness that had settled in my chest, honesty won over. “I want you,” I whispered, my face pressed against the glass, too embarrassed to look at him.

“Alayna?” I felt his eyes on me.

“I know what I said.” I wiped my eyes, determined to keep the rest of my tears in my eyes. “But maybe I was wrong. I mean, I don’t know if you’re right—if spending time with you can make me better. But I know that since we’ve been apart, I’ve been worse.” Taking a ragged breath, I braved a look at him. “I miss you.” A nervous giggle escaped from my throat. “Told you I get attached.”

A trace of a smile crossed his lips. “Where do you think I’m taking you?”

I glanced out the window, having not been paying attention to our destination. Lincoln. Headed East. We were blocks away from Pierce Industries. The loft.

I straightened, a blush crawling on my cheeks. “Oh,” I said, the lonely ache inside burning away with the spark of desire. Then irritation took over. “I told you no more sex, and you were taking me to the loft without asking?”

“Alayna,” he sighed with frustration. “You are a bundle of mixed signals. At the symphony you seemed to indicate—“

“And you totally blew me off,” I interrupted. “Don’t talk to me about mixed signals!”

He put his hand on my knee. “I was trying to avoid mixing business with pleasure. A difficult task with you, precious.” His voice grew low. “Especially with your wandering hands and how hot you look in that dress.”

I blinked. “Oh,” I said again. How did he do that? How did he compartmentalize, dividing the pretend from the real, never the two to cross while I tied myself up in knots?

“If you want me to ask, I will, though you know it’s not my style.” He took my silent stare as a “yes” even though it was simply me processing. “May I take you to my bed, Alayna?”

His request came out in a rumble that had my passion buttons going off like fireworks. “Yes,” I half moaned as he pulled up to a red light.

His hand moved to my head, pulling me to him. His mouth was greedy and full of need, his tongue tasting of deep lust and the Amaretto coffee he’d had at intermission. My panties felt slick, and the corset binding of my dress felt tight against my breasts.

The honk of a horn pulled him back to the steering wheel. He shifted in his seat and my eyes shot to the bulge straining his pants. My mouth watered, wanting it inside me.

Hudson shifted again. “Those hungry eyes are not helping the situation.”

And then we were there. Pulling in at the valet station of Pierce Industries. I was oblivious to the motions Hudson went through, greeting the valet, handing over his keys, moving to walk behind me toward the elevators, his hand firmly on my ass.

In the elevator we were alone. Hudson entered the code for the penthouse and, as soon as the doors closed, he pressed me against the sheer metal wall of the car. Pausing inches from my lips, his breath mingled with mine. “You’re so beautiful, Alayna.”

“Then kiss me.”

One side of his mouth curled up seductively. “I think I’ll take my time.” Slowly, he traced his nose against my jawline, and down my neck. I moved my mouth to try to capture his, but he was quicker, always a step ahead of me. His merciless seduction turned me on to no end, creating a pool of moisture between my legs.

His slow pace was killing me. “I think I’ll urge you to move faster.” I slid my hand down to fondle the bulge in his pants.

“Fuck me, Alayna!” he hissed as I continued to knead his erection through the material.

“You’ll get no protest from me.” I felt him growing stiffer under my palm. “Actually, I’d like to fuck you with my mouth.”

His eyes widened, but before I could act on my statement, the elevator stopped at the top floor. He pulled me out of the car, letting go of me to fumble for his keys. I rubbed his back while he unlocked the door, unable to stop touching him. “Get in,” he growled as he held the door open for me.

We’d only made it over the threshold, the door slamming behind us before he’d pushed me to the wall. He flipped on one light, then he took my face in his hands and my mouth in his, thrusting his tongue inside to battle with mine, his stubble chaffing against my tender skin. I loved his aggressiveness, as if he couldn’t get enough of my taste. I certainly couldn’t get enough of his.

But I’d been serious about wanting my mouth elsewhere on his body, and though Hudson liked to dominate our time together, I wanted to please him. While he still cradled my face, controlling the intensity of our kiss, my hands unzipped his fly and slipped inside to stroke him. Even through the material of his briefs, Hudson groaned against my lips at my caress.

His sounds ignited my desire. I pulled away from his grip and turned him to the wall. He was going to need support for what I had planned. Then I wrestled his pants and briefs down his legs enough to release his cock. “There’s the big boy,” I purred as I swirled my hand across his head. Catching a bead of pre-cum, I circled my fingers around his shaft and let the moisture glide my hand down his erection.

He moaned again, and I sank to my knees. Holding his cock at the base with one hand, I curled my lips around his crown, and sucked him gently. He gasped, gripping my hair in between his fingers, pulling it to the point of a delicious sting. “God, Alayna. That’s so…ah…so good.”

His praise encouraged me. I stroked my fist up and down his shaft, quickly developing a steady pace, while I licked and sucked his head into my hollowed cheeks. I gave him the full treatment, trailing my tongue along his thick ridge and softly grazing my teeth across his crown. He grew thicker under my attention, and my own arousal spiked.

I hadn’t thought whether or not I intended to suck him to orgasm, but suddenly I was desperate for it. I needed his climax, maybe as much as he did, and my mouth greedily portrayed that need.

“Alayna, stop.” Before I could react, his hands pulled my head away, his cock falling from my mouth with a pop.

Shocked and confused, I let him help me up. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, precious. Your mouth is amazing.” He reclaimed my lips for a deep kiss. “But I need to come inside your cunt. I’ve been thinking about it for days.” He wrapped his arms around my back and began working on the ties of my corset. “And you need to be naked.”

I groaned, knowing it would take forever to get me out of my dress. “That will take too long,” I murmured into his neck.

“It has to be.” He pulled me tighter so he could see what he was doing over my shoulder. “I have to have access to your breasts. I love your breasts.”

I sighed and began working the buttons of his shirt. “Then you have to be naked, too.”

He shook his head against mine. “That will take longer.”

“But I love the feel of my breasts against your bare chest.”

His chuckle turned into a groan of frustration. “I don’t even want to know how you got into this dress. Turn around.” I did so, lifting my hair so he could work better. His fingers moved deftly and soon he had loosened it enough for me to take over.

I felt his fingers leave me and heard him fumbling with his own clothing. With my back still toward him, I slipped the gown off the rest of the way, and climbed out. Then I removed my panties. I left my shoes on, knowing he liked to do me in heels. Before I turned around, I took a deep breath, knowing that when I saw him naked, he would take it away.

And, boy, was I right. I’d only really gotten to look at him naked the one time in the shower, but I hadn’t forgotten how the sight affected me. His stomach was washboard tight, and his thigh muscles strong. And in between his legs, his erection stood proudly, even more virile and beautiful without his clothing to hinder the view.

Finally my gaze made it to his face, and I noticed he was leering at me with the same amount of intense desire I felt for him. Our eyes met. Then I was in his arms—his strong, beautiful arms—as he kissed me with deep hunger, my breasts smashed against his torso. Soon, he tucked his hands under my ass and lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, as he adjusted my hips over his cock.

He paused at my entrance. “I haven’t gotten you ready.”

“I’m close enough. Come on in, Hudson.”

He smirked as he rammed into me in one fierce drive. His cock burned inside my not yet fully wet pussy, but it also felt so wonderfully good. So deep and so hard.

He wasted no time establishing a steady rhythm, powering into me with each stroke. The strength it must have taken to hold me in that position and to fuck me with such force amazed me. I’d known he was fit, but hadn’t realized the extent. The awareness heightened my arousal and slickened my sex, allowing him to slide in and out with ease. My breasts bounced with our movement, and shocks of delight shot through my body as my sensitive nipples brushed against his chest. “Hudson, yes. God, yes.”

Our eyes remained locked and I could see the strain and the pleasure etched in his forehead as he continued to pound us toward climax. “So…damn…good,” he panted. “You feel…so…damn…good.”

His encouragement and the sound of our thighs slapping drove me insane, so close to orgasm. With each thrust of his hips, my sex tightened around his steel erection. He turned me to the wall for added support, adjusting his stance so he could pummel me with greater impetus. The new position freed his hand, and he rubbed my clit as his crown found a tender spot. “Come with me, Alayna,” he commanded. “Come.”

His authoritative tone and circling thumb were my undoing. I threw my head back into the wall, my cunt trembling as my orgasm crashed through me. He followed, groaning my name while he released into me in long, hot spurts.

I unwrapped my legs from his waist and felt numbly for the floor with my foot, knowing that he couldn’t possibly continue to carry me after that violent of a release. Though he no longer held my weight, he didn’t let go of me.

“Can we do that again?” I panted, before our bodies had even cooled.

His brow furrowed as he released his grasp on me to look at his watch. “You have to be to work at one? I think we can manage to do that again twice.”

Chapter Fifteen

“Okay, H, we need to have a heart to heart.” We’d been on the road to the Hamptons for less than ten minutes, but I was too anxious to postpone this conversation. I swiveled in the front seat of the Mercedes and pushed my sunglasses to my head so I could see Hudson clearly.

He glanced sideways at me, his own eyes hidden behind his dark Ray Bans. “Sounds intriguing.”

I took a deep breath. “I have some grievances about last night.”

His brow rose skeptically over his sunglasses, but he kept his eyes on the road.

“Not that part of last night.” I hit his arm playfully. “The earlier part of the night. The later part was fine.”

He frowned. “Only fine?”

“More than fine,” I laughed. “It was spectacular. Incredibly spectacular.” My thighs tensed just thinking about the sensual delight we’d experienced the night before at the loft. A kernel of insecurity crept in under my praise, causing me to wonder if he felt the same. Bracing myself, I asked, “How did you think it was?”

“Fine.” His smirk let me know that he was teasing, but I lightly pinched his thigh anyway. Another excuse to touch him.

He took one hand off the wheel and grabbed the hand that had pinched him. “Careful! I’m driving.” He brought my hand to his mouth and nipped at my finger before letting it go. “But you have grievances?”

I pushed away thoughts that his mouth on my skin had elicited. “Yes. I do. I was not prepared for the situation you put me in. I need to know more going forward. I knew nothing about the Werners being at the symphony last night. Couldn’t you have at least given me a heads up?”

Hudson took off his sunglasses and studied me, as if trying to gauge my seriousness.

I was very serious. I was tired of always being in the dark about him and the world that he weaved me in and out of so flippantly.

He tucked his sunglasses into the compartment above his mirror, not needing them anymore with the sun setting and us directed east. “Except for your predilection for putting your hands all over me—“

“Oh, don’t exaggerate.”

“—you were magnificent.” He was serious as well, which shocked me. I felt anything but magnificent. “How would any information I could have given you have changed how you performed?”

I opened my mouth but found I didn’t have a specific answer. “I would have been more at ease because I was prepared.” That was the best I could come up with. “The same goes for the day at the fashion show. I could have handled your mother, Celia—” I paused, wanting to indicate what I’d found out about his past without actually saying it. “You know, the whole day would have been better if I’d been prepared.”

“Again, I thought you were brilliant.”

“Not on the inside. And it’s the inside stuff that makes me do crazy things. Like stalk office buildings.” I winced as I mentioned the embarrassing behavior that I wished I could forget. But if I wanted to be well, I needed to address my insecurities, and not knowing much about Hudson led to many of mine. “Anyway, I have you trapped in a car for over two hours—”

“Are you sure I don’t have you trapped?”

“You’re driving. I’m providing the entertainment.” Though, I found his uncharacteristic playfulness extremely entertaining as well.

“I like the sound of that.” He grinned, sneaking a look at my bare legs.

I resisted the urge to tug at my black skort, one of my prizes from shopping at Mirabelle’s. I enjoyed that he liked looking at me, but his gaze turned me on to the
n
th degree and I wanted to keep focused. “Stop interrupting. We are playing a get-to-know-each-other game.” I put my hand up as if to shush him. “Don’t even say whatever it is you’re about to say. If we have any hope of fooling your family when we’re with them twenty-four/seven then we need to know more about each other.”

“I already know plenty about you.” This time his gaze went to the bosom of my super tight tee.

“No, you don’t.” I snapped my fingers by my face to get his attention to move upward. “Have you ever gotten to know a woman—nonsexually? Besides from a background check?”

“Not on purpose.”

His answer was quick and honest. And it pissed me off. “Hudson, you’re kind of an asshole.”

“So I’ve been told.” He met my glowering eyes. “Fine. How do we play this game of yours?”

The triumph wiped out my irritation. “We’ll take turns. On your turn you can either ask a question or tell a fact about yourself. Your choice. Nothing too heavy. Basic stuff. I’ll go first. I don’t like mushrooms.”

His eyes widened. “You don’t like mushrooms? What is wrong with you?”

“They’re gross. They taste like rotten olives.”

“They taste nothing like olives.”

“They taste like rotten olives. I can’t stand them.” I made a face to show my disgust, but inside I was ecstatic that he was taking an interest in what I had shared. I hadn’t been sure he would. Especially with such a benign subject as food tastes.

Hudson shook his head, seemingly bewildered by my confession. “That’s a terrible inconvenience. That has to hinder your fine dining experiences.”

“Tell me about it.” For some reason, mushrooms seemed to be in a great deal of fancy recipes. “Imagine my horror when my senior prom date made dinner for me and it was chicken Marsala.”

His eye twitched, almost unnoticeably. “Your senior prom date? Was this a serious relationship?” His voice had also tensed slightly.

I narrowed my eyes. Was he jealous? “Are you asking that question for your turn?”

“Uh, yes, I suppose I am.”

He
was
jealous. Of a high school prom date. I was flattered. “It was a serious relationship for me. Not for Joe.”

“Joe sounds terrible.” But his smile returned.

“Thank you. He was.” Hudson pulled onto the Interstate, and I put my sunglasses in my purse. “My turn.” I sat back, chewing my lip. I’d eased us into the game, but now I wanted some answers. Something good. “Why do you never call people by their nicknames?”

He groaned. “Because nicknames are so gaudy. Call a person by their given name. That’s why they have it.”

I rolled my eyes. He was so formal. Sometimes I wasn’t sure I even liked the guy. That was part of the reason I had wanted to play this game. I had to know if my attraction went beyond the physical.

And I really wanted him to call me by my nickname. “But nicknames show a degree of familiarity.”

“You tell everyone to call you Laynie. Even people you’ve just met.”

Because answering to Alayna was weird. The only people who had really called me Alayna were my parents. “Maybe I feel familiar with everyone I meet.” I made an effort to say my next words casually, as if the fact didn’t really bother me. “And you call Celia by a nickname.”

“Really?” He knew it bothered me. I hadn’t covered well enough. “She’s the only person on earth, Alayna. I’ve known her my whole life. I didn’t even know her name was really Celia until I was almost ten.”

I crossed my legs, pleased when he glanced as I did so, and swung my foot with irritation. “If you are trying to convince people you care more about me than Celia, then you should have a nickname for me. It will establish endearment.” And I really wanted his endearment.

“Calling me ‘H’ shows endearment?”

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I lifted my hips so I could pull it out, and Hudson eyed me as I did so. “It does. I don’t go for the real lovey-dovey words like sweetie and honey. But Hudson is way too formal.”

“I like formal.”

“I like cherry-flavored blow pops. It doesn’t make them appropriate for every situation.”

“Blow pops?”

“Yeah…blow pops.” I planned to respond with a sexy comeback, but was distracted by reading the text on my phone. It was from Brian asking me to call him. I’d ignored all of the texts he’d sent over the last week, and wasn’t about to start answering now. I threw my phone into my lap, frustrated. He didn’t know I’d found a solution to my money issues and still expected me to give in to his terms. Not happening.

“You didn’t like ‘baby’?” Hudson’s question pulled me back to the car.

My answer held the tension I meant for Brian. “Not so much.” Only because it was unoriginal and insincere. It wasn’t a name Hudson had picked specifically for me.

“I’m sticking with Alayna.”

I turned to him and glared. “Come on. You could call me ‘precious’ every now and then in front of other people.”

“No way,” he murmured.

“Why? You call me that sometimes already.”

His voice rumbled low and quiet and serious. “That’s private.”

I shivered. Even if his tone hadn’t indicated the matter was settled, I would have dropped it. His answer was perfect—sensual and even a little romantic. Not like I was getting my hopes up romantic, just sort of sweet.

Hmm.
Hudson never failed to surprise me. I shook my head. “It’s your turn.”

My phone buzzed again. Another text from Brian. This time saying he was coming to see me first thing the next day. And I wouldn’t be there. Guess the laugh was on him. I grinned as I turned off my phone and stuffed it back into my pocket.

When my focus returned to Hudson, he was eyeing me, his brow cocked. “Who keeps texting you?”

Something about his jealousy made me want to purr. “Is that your question?”

“It is.”

I considered making something up, something that would really provoke envy from the man, but the game was meant to be about honest answers. “My brother. He’s an asshole.”

“Like I’m an asshole?” he asked, recalling what I’d said to him minutes before.

“Worse. He’s an asshole who doesn’t know it.”

Hudson grinned. “And you’re ignoring Brian?”

He knew Brian’s name. It made me realize that he already knew I had a brother. I wondered what else Hudson knew about Brian. And my parents. My whole life.

Well, if he wanted to know anything more about Brian he’d have to wait until his turn. “You already asked your question. It’s my turn. I lost my virginity when I was sixteen.”

I meant it to be a shocker, still irritated about Brian’s constant texts and Hudson’s knowledge of things he shouldn’t know about me until I told him. “Sixteen? Fuck, Alayna. I don’t think I want to know that.”

“Sorry.” I smiled.

He shook his head, his eyes narrow. “I seriously doubt this is going to come up in conversation with my family.”

“You never know.”

“Who was the guy?”

His jealousy was seriously hot. “Is that your turn?”

“No.”

I cocked my head, questioning his sincerity.

He changed his mind. He couldn’t help himself. “Yes.”

I didn’t even try to hide my elation. “He was a random guy I met at a party. I thought that having sex would help me forget that my parents had died. It did not.”

“No, I suppose it wouldn’t.”

He sounded sympathetic and I was glad he didn’t press. It had been an awful time in my life. My parents’ fatal car accident had pushed me to behave in ways I wasn’t proud. Random sex, excessive drinking, drug experimentation. And then the addiction that had stuck—obsessive love, which shouldn’t be called love at all, but rather obsessive wanna-be-loved. If I was really with Hudson, I mean really his girlfriend, then he should know all the details, and I liked to think I’d tell him. But for a strange moment I was exceptionally glad that I wasn’t really with Hudson so I wouldn’t have to tell him.

Whoa.
Did that mean that there were other moments when I wanted to be really with him? When had that started?

I shot a glance at Hudson who seemed to be heavy in his own thoughts. What would it take to get in there? I tried to guess what he could be so absorbed with. “What were you doing in Cincinnati?”

“Business.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was so much easier to have sex with the man than to get him to share anything real. “That’s not very much of an answer.”

“I wouldn’t talk to my girlfriend about business.”

“You wouldn’t be my boyfriend if you didn’t.” Despite finally believing that Hudson was indeed out-of-town that week, insecurity nagged at me still. I pushed for more information. “Didn’t your mom and dad talk about business with each other?”

“My parents don’t talk about anything. If Dad’s at the house when we get there, he will not sleep in the same room with Mother. Loveless marriage, remember?”

“Not a good example then.” I tried a different tactic. “Look. I’m a business major. I like to know about these things.” I licked my lips purposefully. “Doesn’t my smart mind turn you on?”

“
Your
smart mind, not mine.” But he was hiding a smile.

I slipped my hand down his thigh. “Come on. I’ve shown you mine. Show me yours.”

He couldn’t resist me in full flirtation mode. He sighed. “There’s been some outside interest in Plexis, one of my smaller companies. But I’m not keen to sell to this particular buyer. The other members of the board feel differently.”

Hudson furrowed his brow and I thought he’d finished, but he went on. “Actually it’s been quite stressful, fighting to keep Plexis together when so many are opposed. Many stand to gain a sizable profit from a sale. I know that this buyer would run the place to the ground. The company would be torn apart. People would lose their jobs.”

I sat mesmerized. In his brief divulgence, I saw something besides his passion for his companies and the people that worked for them. I saw him relax and maybe even enjoy telling me about something that weighed heavily on him. Did he have anyone he shared these things with? It didn’t seem likely.

He noticed me staring and he shifted.

I was sure he’d be disturbed to discover how much I’d discerned from such a brief conversation. So I deflected and lightened the mood. “Thank you! Was that really so terrible?”

His mouth tightened into a straight line, but I saw the gleam in his eyes. “I’m not answering that. It’s not your turn.” He only paused a second before he said, “Fine. It wasn’t that terrible. That’s what I’m offering for my turn.”

“Hudson?” I asked softly, hoping he didn’t see the full extent of my adoration in just the speaking of his name.

“Yes, precious?”