The Final Note (DJ Series Book 1) (23 page)

I feel my legs weaken beneath me. He is really coming home? I realise I’m shedding tears but they’re tears of relief, of happiness. Dayton wipes them away with his thumb, a huge grin on his face but he has tears in his eyes, too. He kisses me again and I stop fighting him, letting him take me for his own. We end up spread across the bed, hot, panting, needy kisses being shared and hungry hands wandering.

“Alannah, I can’t do this here. Please, come home with me. I need you.”

“I need you, too,” I pant while still kissing his face.

“So get that awful onesie off and let’s go home.” He smirks and I leap from the bed to get changed.

“Dayton, slow down. My feet are killing me,” I wince, cursing myself for never learning my lesson. I lean against a fence strewn with twinkling Christmas lights.

“Didn’t I tell you that by the end of the night you’d be struggling to walk in those heels?” He flicks me a teasing smirk but stops walking and waits for me.

“I know you did but I like to look pretty for you. You know the ladies in Sphinx are competitive and always try to outdo me,” I try to justify my stupidity. I knew I’d end up with sore and blistered feet.

“Sugar, you’d outshine all the competition in nothing but a bin bag. They don’t even compare.” Dayton smiles before sweeping me off my feet and starting towards the flat we stay in on our fortnightly visits to Clerkenwell.

I’ve come to look forward to our trips down South and enjoy the time away from Manchester. I finally got to meet Jimmy and the team at the studio and I can see why Dayton makes a point of spending the odd week down here in Epic’s recording studios from time to time.

I have to admit the Christmas event the club put on was extraordinary. The fire eaters were amazing and the pictures I got of Dayton behind the decks with the flames and the LED dance show look fantastic. I’m planning on having the image put onto a canvas as a Christmas gift. The flat we stay in down here has been filled with character, not just Dayton’s but mine. I have my own book case full of paperbacks in the bedroom where I sneak off to relax with a good read while Dayton is in the studio. There are framed posters from west end musicals we went to see and the place is over flowing with keepsakes of our times in London as well as mementos from Manchester.

I think we can safely say we have found a lifestyle that suits us both, time shared evenly between both locations. Jimmy and Mark couldn’t be more accommodating of our situation, too. They pay for flights between Manchester and London. It turns out Dayton has become quite an asset to the label and the club. I don’t think any of them expected him to make the impact on the scene that he did. Dayton’s tracks are rocketing up the charts and he is in high demand in the London clubs, not just Sphinx but all of the popular clubs, too.

The coming summer is looking like it’s going to be one of the best on record with Epic Records putting on a huge festival and in the fall they’re continuing the festival with a sequel in Ibiza. It seems the lifestyle Dayton and I laid fantasising about in bed all those months ago in Manchester are all starting to come to life and I can’t see anything but good times ahead.

“What are you thinking about?” Dayton asks and I lift my head from his shoulder, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck. Taking in his beautiful profile I count my blessings, sending up a silent thanks to the stars that I’m here sharing these experiences with him. It almost didn’t happen and it’s only because Dayton came home, regardless of what I said that we are here together now.

“I’m just thinking how good things are right now. Could things get any better?” I sigh happily.

“I think they could.” He puts me down outside the door to the flat, fishing around in his pocket for the keys.

“How? What could possibly happen to top everything that’s happened lately?” I step out of my shoes and I bend to pick them up. When I straighten to go inside I don’t see Dayton. My heart stops and I gasp when I see him down on one knee, a ring box in his hand.

“You could marry me?” He swallows hard and looks incredibly vulnerable, there’s uncertainty and trepidation in his eyes. My mouth falls open and I drop my shoes, putting my hand on his shoulder for stability because I feel my legs buckling underneath me. “What do you say? Be my wife?”

My eyes well up and a ridiculous giggle leaves my mouth. “Oh, Dayton. Are you serious?”

“I’ve never been more serious. Ever. So, will you?” His eyes are pleading and I bite my lip, nodding.

“There is nothing I’d love more,” I croak out, sinking to my knees and taking his face in my palms to kiss his perfect face.

His smile is infectious and he cracks open the ring box, producing an Assher cut, white gold diamond ring. It’s breathtaking and I hear a happy sob break from my throat. He takes it from the cushion slot and takes my left hand in his. “Alannah Matthews, I love you. I have never been happier than when you are by my side. You complete me, you consume me. I want to share the rest of my life with you. I cannot wait to make you my wife. Thank you for being you, for making me the man I am, for everything.”

He slips the ring into place, right next to the musical note ring he gave me. “No, thank you, Dayton Scott. I love you, too.” I smile, a tear slipping down my cheek. He kisses it away before standing and helping me to my bare feet then he sweeps me up into his arms, stealing my mouth with his.

He tastes of perfection and I hold on to him tightly, like I’m clinging to life. He starts to carry me indoors. “I’m getting some practice in for when I carry you over the threshold.”

Dayton

The following fall, Ibiza.

I don’t think I have ever been more nervous in my life. Ibiza has been on the cards for months and we all knew it was coming. So much preparation has gone into this and it’s even caused arguments with friends over who was flying over with us. We had to have our Lexis family with us but we knew the regulars at Sphinx would be here, too.

I’m standing by the stage with Luke. Usually before I go in front of a crowd he is a great distraction from my nerves but I’ve got so used to having Alannah by my side that she is the only person I want right now. I know she won’t be long but my nerves and the sickening feeling in my gut won’t subside until I lay eyes on her.

“Good luck, buddy.” Evan slaps me on the back and I give him a half smile.

“Cheers.”

“He doesn’t need it, Evan. This is Dayton Scott you’re talking to. You’re gonna be fine, mate, and look at it this way, once you’re done we can get this party started properly,” Luke reassures me. Right at this minute a shot of whiskey would be great. As if reading my mind Luke pulls a hipflask out and takes a swig. It’s barely left his lips before I hijack it and take a long swig, needing to feel the burn in my stomach and my jangling nerves relax a little.

“Steady on, Dayton. You know you shouldn’t go hitting the hard stuff yet.” Mark nods and I give him the thumbs up before having another swig. I look at my watch and see we are just minutes away from getting this show on the road. My toe keeps tapping in time to the music and it’s not because the tune is catchy or getting into my system, it’s pure anxiety stopping me from standing still.

Finally I get the nod from Ross and the first bars of
Here Comes the Bride
plays out across the beach. My stomach twists and I turn on the spot, looking to the minister who gives me a reassuring smile. I hear a gasp go around the congregation and I look up the make shift aisle to see Alannah walking towards me on her father’s arm.

I forget to breathe when I try to take in her beauty. The strapless, ivory silk dress sets off the beautiful tan she has caught from partying at the Epic festival here last week. The loose curls framing her perfect face blow in the sea breeze and when she finally looks up and meets my eye I can see she is already choked up.

Teary big brown eyes meet my glazed blue eyes and I can see my whole life play before me. A perfect future with the only woman I’ve ever wanted. Ever needed. She is my all and I cannot wait for us to start a family together. I want her to have my babies. I want grandkids and us together old and grey. I want the fairy tale ending for us.

I cannot believe I am lucky enough to be standing here, about to marry the most perfect woman I have ever met. I can see her now, standing in Luke’s kitchen, looking pretty lost and trying to blend in but she stood out to me immediately. I think even then I knew she was special, she was different, and she was going to be my everything, forever.

And now here we stand, pledging our forever to each other and I finally feel like for once I know what my heart truly wants. For years I chased a dream, thinking it would be the one thing that would make me happy but now I realise how wrong I was.

It was never going to be anything or anyone other than Alannah that totally completed me, that made me see what I had to have in my life to be happy. She touches my heart in a way music can’t and I can write music that expresses a million emotions but I can never put into words just how much she means to me. But here I am, about to try, when I read her my vows.

With a shaking hand I reach into my pocket and take out my prepared words. I’ve written and rewritten this note a hundred or more times to try and make it as perfect as Alannah. I dumped all my drafts and decided to go with this, my final note.

The end.

There are so many people that I cannot thank enough. I’m sure I’ve thanked you all before now but just in case I missed anyone, here goes.

Firstly, my husband, Simon, and our amazing children for their unwavering support. I’m sorry for the almost constant drilling questions on mixing, producing and the music industry, Sy.

My sister, Wendy, and my amazing street team who are always there, my ideas ladies, swag designers. You angels are the best, seriously, your support means the world and without our frequent (and often dirty) chats on the group page I think I would go mad, you ladies make work fun. I should change the name to Helen’s Devils Street Team because none of us are innocent or angels and as rightfully pointed out, horns hold up our halos.

My beta readers, your feedback is invaluable. Thanks again.

A personal thank you to Author Sarah Hardy for being incredibly supportive, helping me with so much and always being there to share with me, pimp me and generally listen to my every worry or rant. You’re a bloody star, Sarah, thank you! x

A massive thank you to all the blogs who have welcomed me to do take overs and helped my release event. There are so many of you but to name a few: Sarah and Kirsty’s book reviews. Francessca’s Romance Reviews. Chicks Looking For A Book Fix. Morphy’s Book Blog. Something Wickedly Delicious. Book Excursion Book Blog. Nina’s Erotic Adult Book Club. I know I’ve missed lots of you but thanks to all of you.

Sending huge love to my readers who continue to buy and review my books. Without you I could never have achieved what I have thus far, so, heartfelt thanks for your loyalty and love. It means the world.

Finally I want to thank my parents for being perfect. Mar, Pops, I would never have achieved anything if you hadn’t instilled self-belief and determination into me. You are both my ports in a storm and I can never repay you for everything you do for me and my family. I love you both, you’re the best.

I’m 31, married with three children. I live in Nottinghamshire, UK, and spend my days reading, writing and home educating my children. I am also the author of the Inner Strength Series. The first two instalments are available for download now. The Learning Curve is the first novel, followed by A Rising Angel. The third novel, A Double Knot, is due to be released in 2015. The second novel in the DJ series, Disrespectful Diva, goes live in May 2015.

When not writing I also enjoy days out with my family, taking short breaks on the east coast of England and supporting my husband’s music career.

http://www.facebook.com/helenjbarneswriter

http://twitter.com/mrskov

Inner Strength Series #1

“Mummy, if someone is your mummy's sister and that makes her your auntie, what relation would it make her children to me?” I turn from the drawers I'm searching for school tights in to see Holly laid on her back on the bed with her bare feet pressed against the bedroom wall. She has my old Care Bear teddy sitting on her chest and is looking at me upside down.

“It would make them your cousins, Holly, now please sit up or you're going to mess up your hair and we don't have time to redo it. Riley has to be at the child minder’s in 20 minutes and I can't find your school tights anywhere ...” I trail off, pulling the third drawer open to find Holly has stashed her illustrated diary in this drawer. I push it to one side and pretend I haven't spotted it. I know Holly likes her drawings in that book to be private. Last time I looked through it I was saddened by the pictures of her dad with a woman with blond hair, holding a big bunch of flowers.

It is definitely not me and I didn’t ask who it is. It’s none of my business.

I split up with Ryan a year ago. For the first six months I was an absolute mess, totally devastated. We’d been together since our teens, when his career as a DJ and producer fitted our lifestyle. I didn’t care if we had to drive three hours or more to random clubs in the UK for him to mix at a nightclub I’d never heard of. I loved the club scene. Holly’s unplanned pregnancy five years ago and two years later having our son, Riley, really changed me. Now I would sooner curl up with a good book.

“Found them.” I announce and Holly comes over for me to her put her tights on. “Now quickly, go help your brother with his shoes and coat, please, sweetie, or we are going to be so late and Mummy has a busy day.”

I take a second to check myself in the mirror. A slick of lip gloss later, I'm double checking lunch boxes and herding the kids out the front door.

“Come on, slow coaches, Maggie is expecting us and you cannot be late at the beginning of a new term at school. Start as we mean to go on and let’s get there on time.” I grumble to myself as Riley attempts to climb up into the backseat of the car on his own. I dump the lunch bags onto the passenger seat and help him up, strapping him into his car seat with practiced ease.

“Mummy, I've forgotten Barney.” A chubby finger barely misses my eye as he points back at the house.

“Okay, honey, I'll go get him. No winding the windows down, okay?” He nods and I make a mad dash back to the house, sweeping Barney up from the sofa. Two minutes later we're off, and I deposit Riley in the trusted hands of our child minder, Maggie. I get Holly to school and am relieved to see we're not late.

“Hey, Jess, cutting it fine again are we?” Tami, Ella's mum, jokes. I smile and the girls run off to line up by the door to class, heads together, chatting surreptitiously.

“You know I like to be fashionably late, Tam,”

“I didn't expect you for another three minutes to be honest, you're on the ball today.”

The bell rings to signal the start of the day and we make our way indoors. I help Holly in the cloak room, give her a kiss at the door and tell her I'll see her after school, before Tami and I leave to start our day, knowing the kids are settled and safe.

'’So, when do you start this new course? It must be weird going back to college after all this time.” Tami asks as we go through the school gates.

“I have my first class tomorrow. I'm nervous but looking forward to it, too. It will be nice to get out of ‘Mummy Mode.’ I need the qualifications to get a job that pays enough, we’re only just keeping afloat.”

“Is Ryan helping out?” she asks, and I see her look down at her feet like she hates to have brought his name up. Mentioning Ryan was a sore point six months ago, but now I’ve learnt to adjust and move on.

“He's helping out with anything the kids need. We have discussed involving Child Support to make it official which obviously I would prefer to avoid.”

“Well, maybe the CSA
should
be involved. For all you know what he is giving you may be less than what they would award you.”

“Doubtful, he is quite generous but has hinted that he has to pay his own bills for his flat, too.” I shrug.

“Well, let’s hope this course gets you where you want to be then.” Tami smiles and I nod in agreement.

“Right, I better go, I have to go and buy strawberry jelly. The kids want to throw a birthday tea for my sister, Leanne. See you after school.”

“Have a good day.”

3 o'clock soon comes around and I put the hoover back under the stairs before heading out to pick the kids up. The jelly is setting and I've found time to blow up balloons, wrap Leanne’s gifts and hang some streamers around the living room. Just the buns to bake and we are all set for Leanne arriving at 6 o’clock. My mobile rings in my handbag and I fish it out whilst getting in the car. It’s Ryan and I swipe the screen to answer him.

“Jess, it’s me, are the kids doing anything tonight? Only I'm going to see my parents and they've asked if the kids can come with me. I promise I'll have them back for 7.30pm at the latest,” he babbles, not giving me a chance to answer.

“Sorry, Ry, but the kids are hosting a tea party for Leanne, so maybe another time?” I put the key into the ignition without starting the engine.

“Oh, right, that’s a shame. Mum and dad will be disappointed but I suppose they would rather be having a birthday tea than going to see my parents,” he jokes and I smile down the phone.

“Exactly, sorry. They've been planning this for weeks. Holly has made a banner to put on the front door and they both made Leanne lovely birthday cards.”

“No problem, maybe the weekend then? I'm working close to home on Saturday so I can collect them at eight and drop them back off at six if that suits you?”

I know he prefers gigs closer to our hometown of West Bridgford, Nottingham. It means he gets more time with the kids and Ryan may have a lot of faults but he is an amazing father.

I momentarily wonder how we got to the point where we could be civil about him taking the kids for the day. There were huge rows when we first split but we seem to have settled into some kind of agreement, even if we did have to adjust it to suit Ryan's work.

I curl my lip thinking how music and DJing always came before everything else, including family time. I should respect his work- after all it did pay all the bills and leave enough left over for nice holidays, not to mention a great child minder who I can now barely afford to pay on my own.

“8 o'clock on Saturday sounds fine with me. Listen, Ryan, I have to go. I'm on the school run so I'll see you later, okay?” I reply as I put my seat belt on.

“Sure, no problem. Speak soon, Jess,” he answers before I say goodbye and hang up, setting off for school again.

Two hours later I'm giving the kids a quick bath to wash icing sugar out of their hair and chocolate chip smears from around their mouths. Baking buns was a lot of fun and even I have to admit, they look and smell divine, but gosh was it messy. “Mummy, tell Holly, it’s going in my eyes!” complains Riley and I tut.

“Please, stop, Holly, you know how upset you get if bubbles go into your eyes. I think it’s time we got out anyway, kiddywinkles, because Auntie Lee should be here shortly.” I smile and they instantly start cheering. Within minutes they are dry and in their onesies when there is a knock at the door which has them both bolting downstairs.

Holly pulls the door open and my younger sister stands on the front porch beaming, her bright, flawless smile lighting up the hallway.

“Who made me this?” she squeaks, pointing at the 'Happy Birthday, Aunt Lee' banner, decorated in pink glitter and purple sequins that we pinned to the front door.

“Me!” yells Holly, glowing with pride. “Buns, we made buns.” Riley yells whilst pulling Leanne through into the living room.

“Banners
and
buns, you two are spoiling me! Oh, wow, look at this place, balloons too. You're too kind,” Leanne exclaims before bending at her tiny waist, kissing the kids on top of their still damp chestnut hair.

Leanne was always the one blessed with the attractive genes in our family. Her luscious, long waves of blond hair sway to her hips and her blue eyes are alight with excitement.

I always said she should be a teacher or child minder because she is so great with the kids but she claims to be too much of a free spirit to work indoors with children all day. I have to admit her artistic flare is fabulous and her art work is fantastic. She just has an eye for the fine detail, even in the smallest of things; her photography takes your breath away at times.

I’m quite the opposite of Leanne, I’m curvaceous with dark brown curls just past my shoulders and big blue eyes. Not in the slightest bit artistic, I’m more of a geeky bookworm.

The kids put on party songs and lay out the trays of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls and buns, passing each of us a paper plate. Leanne takes a seat next to me on the sofa. “Hey, sis, how are you keeping?” she smiles, accepting a sandwich from Holly, thanking her and tucking in.

“I'm great, thanks, Lee. Tired, we all know how kids exhaust you, but I'm not complaining.” I smile, swiping a sausage roll off the tray and biting into it.

“Pleased to hear it. Are you sure you don’t need me to have the kids to give you a break? You deserve some time off and my timetable is totally flexible.” She winks at Holly who puts two buns on her plate. “Thank you, darling, these buns look delish.”

“If you ever want to see the kids you know you can come around here anytime. The kids love to see you- you're their favorite auntie, you know,” I laugh and Leanne rolls her big blue eyes and clicks her tongue.

“I'm their only auntie, Jess. Anyway, don't you start your college course this week?” she asks while devouring a bun in two bites.

“Yeah, tomorrow, actually. I'm quite looking forward to it, getting out of this house and meeting new people, learning something new. I feel like I've been living under a rock for so long,” I mumble.

“Well, staying home and raising babies is fulfilling for some mums, Jess, but I think you've got too much upstairs to stay at home all day,” she declares, tapping a finger to my temple. “You need to do something for
you
for a change anyway.”

I smile and am glad someone else agrees with me and supports my choice to go back into education. I fully expected criticism, especially from Ryan, but surprisingly he said I should do what makes me happy. “Well, fingers crossed tomorrow goes well.” I smile before putting down my plate and dumping the last bun onto Leanne's, conscious of how much sugar the kids are having so close to bedtime.

After opening gifts we take the kids up to bed and Leanne reads to them. I slip downstairs to clean up the mess and a quick whip round with a black bag later it’s done. I'm giving Charlie, our golden labrador the leftovers when Leanne comes into the kitchen, singing to herself.

“Wine o'clock, sis?” she winks, swiping up a bottle of Blossom Hill and two glasses before heading back to the living room. I throw out the bin bag and join her.

“So, how are you coping lately?’’ Leanne starts as soon as I sit down. “Honestly. No
'I'm great, sis'
crap. We both know how rough this last year has been for you, so tell me… are you okay?”

I give the question some real thought before answering her truthfully. “I'm fine. We kinda have a routine now and I think I've finally made peace with Ryan, accepted that it’s over and admitted to myself we're never going to get back together. I still begrudge the fact that he found it so easy to walk away. Yet, with hindsight I can see why he left. There was no way of rebuilding our relationship, it was already dead and there was nothing there anymore.” I take a sip from my glass and meet her eyes and I can see pride shining in them.

“I'm so glad you're in a good place now, Jess, I know it’s been really bleak at times but you have so much inner strength that you don't give yourself credit for.’’ She pauses and looks away. “Listen, there is something I have to tell you.”

I feel my stomach tighten with trepidation because I think I know what she is going to say.

“Just spit it out, Leanne,” I demand. I always knew this was going to happen one day.

She pulls in a breath and turns to me. “I went out on a friend’s hen night at the weekend and we hit a club in Derby. I didn't know Ryan was playing there until I saw him behind the decks. He was with some blonde bimbo.”

I nod, instantly conjuring a mental image of Ry with some woman wrapped around him- someone that isn't me. Leanne pushes my fringe out of my eyes.

“I don't know if it was just a one night stand but I saw them both at the coffee shop the next morning and they looked quite cozy… his face dropped when he spotted me. I made a point of leaving without speaking to him. I'm sorry, Jess, I couldn't not mention it, you deserve to know,” she laments and I swallow loudly before draining my glass and shuddering, I'm not sure if it’s the sharpness of the wine or the news of Ryan with someone else.

I give her a weak smile and shrug my shoulders. “Well, I can't say I'm surprised, you know how he has never been short of female attention. He is good looking, he was going to put it about a bit, that much was a given.”