The F#ck It List: The Complete Story (10 page)

I
frown
at the walls of my bedroom. Scott painted it for me. Derek is good at many things, namely sports and tanning, but he does not have an eye for color. I'd barely paid attention when he chose, wanting the excuse to return and get more paint. But I hadn't realized how bad it was. It's way too dark, not bold at all. I have no desire for a navy blue room. Navy isn't fun. Navy isn't sexy. I wonder if Derek even paid attention to the color he picked. He seemed awfully intent on my chest area. Which was the point. I just wish I hadn't had Scott paint the whole thing. It looked brighter before it dried.

I checked Facebook and Derek is working again today. He really likes people knowing where he is. Or his job is so boring he spends a lot of time on social media. Not that I should judge. I'm addicted to it all and I've been stalking him like a crazy person.

I dress in a similar fashion as last time since it clearly worked so well on him. It's a pain loading up the paint to return by myself, but I don't want to take Scott this time. It's not fair to make him drive me around and wait for me when he has finals to study for. And especially when he isn't getting any from it either.

I stop for an iced coffee on the way. I stayed up way too late last night, paint fumes and fantasies mixing to keep sleep at a distance. I finish it off by the time I return the paint at the customer service lane. After I drop the paint off, I head out to look for my target.

Derek is in the paint section again. He smiles and hugs me when I approach him. "Need more paint?" he asks.

I look up at him and nod. "Yeah. I decided I wanted something a little brighter. It just wasn't quite right. A little too dark."

"All right. Do you know what you want?"

I stare at him a second, taking him in. Yes, yes I do. Man, this dude can fill out a shirt. I've never been so horny for Thor type muscles before, other than on Chris Hemsworth, of course. I'm not dead. But Derek has a very similar build and damn it is sexy.

At his questioning look, I shake off my lust and show him one of the paint samples I'd held up against my wall and loved. I shove away the thought that it's the same shade as Scott's eyes. Just a coincidence.

He bobs his head in a nod. "I like it. What does Adam think?"

Ah. Awkward. "We aren't together anymore."

"I'm sorry, Amanda."

I wave a careless hand. "Don't be. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me." A better thing would have been never dating the jackass, but here we are.

A smile spreads across his mouth. "Man, I've waited years to hear you say that."

My shock is completely real, I'm completely floored. "Uh, what?" We never said two words to each other in high school.

He chuckles. "Yeah, I always had a crush on you, but you were always with him. I mean, I'm sorry, it sucks it didn't work out, but I'm still sort of glad to hear it. He was kind of a douche."

I'm irrationally angry. How much more could Adam take from me? Not that Derek was someone I want to end up with, but still. If I'd been with Derek instead, I'd probably have way less regrets.

"I had a crush on you too. But we hardly ever spoke, so I had no idea. And you're also right about him being a douche."

"I wish I had known. We could have had some fun times together. You were so hot, hell, everyone wanted you. Adam was the lucky sucker who won."

That rubs me a little the wrong way. Adam won? Did he know any of this? Did Scott? Was I some part of a freaky high school pool? Was I just a prize Adam won? And he finally got tired of playing the game I didn't know I was a part of?

Derek seems to realize how his words sounded. Or maybe sees the look on my face. "No, no, no. We didn't have any kind of teen drama movie thing cooked up. It was just...there were several guys in school who were bummed when you and Adam got together. We were jealous."

I nod. "I get it." It was still probably a game for Adam. The jackass was all about status. But who knew I was so popular and desired back then? I seriously had no idea. I was busy with school and Adam and Scott. It was probably just because I filled out fast and big in the chest area.

He gnaws on his lip, worry wrinkling his brow. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

I shake everything off. I'm here for fun, not more blows to the heart. "You didn't. I'm just surprised is all."

He looks truly regretful. An emotion I've become very well acquainted with. "Well, it's my own fault for not asking you out sooner."

I step close and look up at him, so close I can feel the heat from his gorgeous body. So close I can smell him. So close my breasts brush against his chest with each of my breaths. "You know, you could always ask me out now."

He winces, temptation and desire shining in his green eyes. "I could, but I have to be honest with you. I'm not looking for a relationship. Too much of my life is up in the air right now and I have to make the decisions for me, not for someone else."

I cock my head to the side and grin. "Funny, I'm not looking for one either. For basically the same reasons. I just want to have a good time." I'm relieved, because I don't want to encourage feelings. I have no interest in getting back into something serious anytime soon. Especially with someone I know is completely wrong for me.

He purses his lips in thought before answering. "I hear you. And I could use a good time."

"So could I. I may not want a relationship, but I'm not a nun either." I've thrown down all my cards. There's a time for subtle, and this isn't one of those times.

His relieved smile matches my own feelings on the matter. He raises a brow. "So, you wanna go to the drive-in tonight?"

That song from
Grease
pops into my head, and I bite back a giggle. "I'd love to. You can pick me up at eight."

We talk about high school and what everyone is doing while he mixes my paint for me. He carts it all out for me again and loads it into my car.

He hands me his phone. "Put your number in here and I'll call for directions before I come pick you up."

I take it and input my number in his phone and send myself a text so I'll have his as well.

I brush a kiss against his cheek. "Thanks. I'll text you my address."

His face turns a little red. "No problem. See you tonight."

I bite my lip as I watch him walk away. This is happening.

I
really hate
this awful navy color. I can't wait till Scott has time to paint over it. I sent him a text letting him know about the new shade and my upcoming date with Derek, but he hasn't responded.

After taking care of some personal grooming, I shower and massage my skin with my favorite honeysuckle scented lotion. Instead of cutoff shorts, I put on a cherry red halter sundress and no bra or underwear.

Two words. Easy. Access.

I let my hair tumble down my shoulders in tousled waves. I look and smell like summer nights. Excitement skitters through me. I haven't been to a drive-in in ages. And other than the hand-job I gave Scott at our brunch spot, I've never done any sort of sexual acts in public. But a drive-in will make the perfect spot for it. And I highly doubt we'll be the only ones taking advantage of it.

At least, I hope we're taking advantage of it. I'm pretty sure if I make the first move, he'll get with the program.

Ready a little early, I text Scott again, letting him know where I'm going and I add a tease about the handyman role he’s filling for me. I stare at my phone, waiting for a response until Derek knocks on my door.

Throwing my worries and annoyance with Scott off, I slip my phone into my purse and answer the door. Derek's brows raise as he takes me in. He cleans up pretty well himself. He has on a green tee and low riding jeans, his muscles trying to burst from the fabric. He may not be playing ball anymore, but he's definitely keeping up with his workouts at the gym.

"Wow. You look hot."

I smile. "Thanks. So do you."

He pushes the door wide. "You ready?"

I nod and slip past him. "I am."

He holds out his elbow like a gentleman for me to take. I smile at him and intertwine my arm with his. "The movie won't start till it's dark, so you want to grab some food before we go?"

"Sure. We can get it to go if you want and we can smuggle it in."

He laughs. "Excellent idea."

I purse my lips, trying to think of something that won't entail greasy food on the way to the movie. "Panera?"

He opens the door of his car for me. "Hell yeah. I love that place."

I slide into the passenger seat and smile up at him. "Me too."

He closes the door and jogs over to the driver side. "Why don't you pull up the menu on your phone and we'll figure out what we want to order before we get there."

"Okay." I pull my phone from my purse, frowning at the continued silence from Scott before pulling up the restaurant's website.

We chat back and forth about what sounds good and will carry well. We both end up choosing salads and paninis.

Once we have our food, an awkward silence swells between us as he drives to the movie. I wonder if he's hoping for the same thing I am. Or if he thinks this is just us hanging out for old time's sake. Considering we never hung out before, though…

I sincerely hope he's planning on more than watching the movie.

And I can't believe I'm actually headed to a date with Derek freaking Conway, the hero of our school. He could have had any girl in school and he'd wanted me? What would that have been like? Instead of wasting time on Adam, if I'd ended up with Derek? Would I have molded myself for him too? Or would we have gone our separate ways upon graduation and my college experiences would have been wildly different?

And what about Scott? Would we have stayed as close if I'd gotten swept up in the lure of popularity and jocks?

Maybe it all worked out the way it was supposed to, but I still wished I could remove Adam from my history. I'd gotten caught up in stalking him too recently, just out of curiosity and a morbid hope that he was miserable. He hadn't posted much online and we weren't friends anymore, so I couldn't see everything. I could have asked Scott, but I didn't want him to think I was still hung up on Adam. I just wanted to see if he was happy without me. And from what I saw, he's just fine. He's been going out with friends who tagged him in dumbass drunk-at-the-bar photos. He looked happy. And I hate it.

A dark part of me hopes he regrets breaking my heart. I want him to come crawling back so I can have a little closure. And send him crawling back to the depths of hell he came from.

But I'm not bitter or anything.

And I sure as hell don't miss him. Life has been way more fun with him gone from my life. I could never go back. Especially back to an orgasmless life. Thankfully, we have no classes together and I haven't seen him around campus. If Scott has, he's kept it to himself. For which, I'm grateful.

I've moved on. I'm still moving on. And hopefully, soon, I'll be over it completely.

Derek pulls onto the field, rolling down his window to pay an attendant. He turns to me. "Do you want any snacks?"

I shake my head. "Maybe later."

He rolls his window back up and drives to a spot towards the back. I look down at my lap and smile. He is so thinking the same thing I am.

The silence between us thickens with tension. I'm tempted to just jump on him, but it's still a little light outside and the movie hasn't even started yet.

Not quite brave enough to start anything quite yet, I lean down and grab the bag of food. We grasp with desperation any little thread of conversation we can think of. Adam and Derek's future are both off limits, but gossip about people from high school helps break the ice and make us both more comfortable. Soon, we're laughing about the head cheerleader married to the marching band geek.

Derek has a nice laugh. It's low and raspy and sends shivers up and down my spine. He has a crooner's voice and I recall he played in a garage band back then.

We finish our food and shove everything back into the bag. Derek tosses it into the floor of the backseat. Night has fallen, and the movie should begin any moment. Our comfortable chatting breaks off and we stare at each other in the dark. Nerves and desire skitter through me and he feels it too. I can tell when his breath hitches.

He has the perfect front seat for fooling around. It's a bench seat, no console separating the driver from the passenger. I decide to make the first move, and I slide along the seat until I'm pressed up against him.

Derek looks down at me and smiles knowingly. "Hello."

I grin, utterly unrepentant. "Hi."

He takes his right hand from the wheel and brings it down onto my leg. He strokes my thigh as he keeps looking down at me, like he's waiting for permission.

I let my legs fall open a bit in response.

His hand travels up my thigh with a tortuous slowness. The huge screen in the field flickers to life and we both jump at the music booming around us.

We laugh, but it dies away as his fingers continues their trip up my leg. I keep my eyes on the screen and so does he. From outside, we'll look like a normal couple on a date, no evidence of the dirty things his hand is about to do.

Finally, he reaches my center. His breath hisses through his teeth when he discovers my lack of panties. "Naughty girl."

I chuckle. "Hopeful girl."

"Dream girl."

I grin. "I don't have a bra on either."

"Fuck."

He caresses my pussy lips with one of his fingers before pushing into my slit. I'm already so wet from anticipation, he slips right in with no trouble. He rubs at my clit, and it's my turn to hiss a breath through my teeth.

My left hand found its way to his leg at some point, and I grip his thigh as he continues rubbing at my nub. He dips two fingers into my pussy and pumps them in and out, slowly at first, and then faster, harder.

I bet the football captain spent a lot of time and practice finger fucking girls in cars during high school. And he's damn good at it. Was the life I should have lived? Instead of abbreviated sessions in Adam’s bedroom, quickies in Derek’s car? Where would I be now if his was the first taste of sexuality I’d had?

My grip on his leg tightens and I open my legs wider to give him better access. He adds a third finger into me, stretching me pleasantly.

The previews end and the movie begins, but I barely take any of it in. I don't even know the name. Some sort of comedy-action film starring an actor I recognize but can't name.

And right now, I don't give the slightest fuck.

My newfound addiction to orgasms makes everything else fall away once I have one in my grasp.

He starts rubbing my clit each time he pulls out of my pussy, sending me riding along the edge. I stiffen and almost stop breathing as I try to leap off the cliff.

After pumping in hard a few more times, he starts to rub fast, hard circles on my clit. His breathing grows as ragged as mine. We continue staring at the screen and I wonder if he has any idea of what's happening in the movie. I force myself to stay quiet, not wanting to draw attention to us, even with the windows we've fogged up closed.

At last, the waves crash over me, tossing me about, the undertow yanking me back and forth along the bottom until I finally wash up on the shore, soaked in pleasure and breathless.

I rest my head on the back of the seat, my eyes closed as I come back to myself.

Once I get myself under control, I open my eyes. Derek stares at me in awe, his eyes roving down my body, to the dress bunched up at my waist.

"That was so hot."

I grin. "Yes, it was." My hand still on his thigh travels to the button of his jeans and I free him from his pants. His cock is shorter than the others I've had experience with, but much thicker. My hand barely wraps around it. I stroke up and down him for a moment, before scooting back and leaning over to take him into my mouth.

One of his hands fists my hair while the other trails down my back, around my side to one of my tits. He slips his hand under the fabric and squeezes, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I moan quietly around his cock.

My jaw aches from how wide he is, but I can go all the way down on him with ease. I bob up and down on him, faster and faster. He lets out whispered curses and moans, his grip on my hair tightening.

With a sharp pinch to my nipple, he slides his hand out of my dress and down my back to my ass. His fingers travel through the crack of my ass up to my still wet and sensitive cunt. He pumps three fingers in and out in time with me on his dick.

I pull back and swirl my tongue over the head, licking under the ridge. He shoves his fingers in me as far as they'll go and twists. We moan in unison. I lick down his length and take his massive balls into my mouth, sucking on them gently.

He crooks his fingers to hit my g-spot in response.

We play back and forth like that until we're both gasping and have heated up the car. Lust fogs the interior as we race for the climax finish line. I graze the side of him with my teeth and them take all of him in my mouth, sucking hard.

He stiffens, swells, and shoots cum down my throat. I swallow and lick every last bit. His cock twitches in my mouth and his body shudders beneath me. I keep licking until he stills. His fingers slide from me and I sit up.

I grin at the dazed expression on his face.

He turns to me with a cocky smile. "Your turn."

"What?" I ask.

"Pull up your dress and open your legs."

I scurry to comply, getting into a position he can easily reach, but that hopefully isn't too obvious if anyone looks at us. My back is to the passenger side window and the glass is cool and wet against my back. But with the dark tint on his windows and the night sky embracing us, I doubt anyone can see a thing unless they come right up to the car.

He moves the seat back so he won't be hampered by the steering wheel and bends over, his head between my legs. His tongue moves against me in a frenzy. He licks every inch of me. Inside and out.

I open my legs wider to the point of pain, wanting him to have access to whatever he wants. He shoves two fingers inside me and crooks them up to my g-spot again while he ravishes my clit. I can smell both of us, our desire, our climaxes, our need. The scents swirl around us, mixing with the buttery popcorn from outside and the remainder of our food in the back. My skin is slick with sweat.

His five o'clock shadow scrapes against the tender skin between my thighs as he continues his assault on my sensitive pussy. He uses teeth too and I can't keep the moan inside at the sensation. My hands grasp his massive biceps, my fingers clawing at the fabric of his shirt. His other hand plucks at my nipples over my dress, giving them the attention I crave and love. Nipple play is the best. I want to pull my dress down so he can reach them better, but I stop myself. That might be a little too far right here.

He doesn't let up, he doesn't change it up like some men do. He has single-minded focus on his mission. He has no interest in keeping my orgasm at bay. He wants it as fast as I can give it. He demands it. He isn't playing around, trying to draw it out. And while orgasm denial was fun as hell, there is something truly wonderful about a man who wants to wring as many out of you as fast as he possibly can.

As he hits my g-spot over and over and his teeth scrapes against my skin and his tongue flickers over the nub, tension tightens each of my limbs. He's not as good at it as Scott is, but he's still definitely getting the job done.

And if I'm honest, no one has been as good as Scott. Especially at oral.

I shove away thoughts of my best friend. He has no place here and I'm tired of him sneaking into my thoughts when I'm in the middle of sexy scenarios. It's super frustrating that he's the best I've ever had. It was one thing being better than Adam, but he has to be better than the other three guys too? How many women has he been with to grow such skill?

The tension is chased away by red hot heat searing through me, flushing my skin scarlet. I suck my cheeks into my teeth to stay quiet, only a squeak escapes. It's a powerful, but a quick climax. I pant and tremble as he pulls away, thoughtfully sliding my dress back down over my still open legs. He's such a gentleman. And a damn hot and skillful one. I want another orgasm. I'm a greedy addict and I need more than two.

We stare at each other. "It's too bad we didn't do this all through high school."