The Exception to the Rule (25 page)

Charles and Claire arrived at their scheduled time, with Claire bringing over bags of food. “I just stocked the fridge,” I said, shaking my head.

“It’s just a few things,” she said, dismissing me as she began to put everything away. I shook my head in defeat.

Claire invited Tricia and James over for a barbeque later. Tricia accepted the invite and I felt a twinge of jealousy wishing I could join them, instead of going to some strange city to face my biggest fear. Tricia and Claire finalized their plans as Tricia headed out the door.

I was starting to get a sick feeling in my stomach as the time was getting closer. I sat down on the couch to spend my last few minutes with Matty before leaving. He thought I was going away for work and was a little upset that our plans for the weekend had changed. I knew that he would soon be over it, being around everyone that he loved so much tonight. 

As much as I had wanted to, I could no longer ignore the time on the clock. I gave Matty a huge hug and about a thousand kisses before grabbing my bag to leave. I took a deep breath as I got in the car and headed to the airport.

It was an easy flight with no delays. I tried to keep my mind focused on my reason for the trip and the task at hand. I arrived at my hotel which was located right by Chicago O’Hare International Airport and about fifteen miles from Julian’s hospital. I checked into my room feeling tired and trying to gather my thoughts. I checked in with Claire to see how Matty was doing. She assured me that he was fine, advising me that he and Charles were up at the bay fishing. I hung up with her, feeling more at ease knowing that he was in good hands.

 I planned on going to Julian’s hospital first thing in the morning to try and get in touch with him. I had no clue what his schedule was; I was just hoping that by some stroke of luck I would be able to connect with him. I pulled out my laptop trying to get caught up on some backlogged work emails, but I was too anxious to concentrate on anything at the moment. My stomach was in knots over facing him for the first time after all these years and even more so because of the news that I had to break to him. I turned on the TV trying to calm my nerves. After nervously flicking through the TV stations over and over again, I pulled from my purse the piece of paper containing the information that James had given me. I looked it over for what seemed like the millionth time. I knew that I didn’t want to call him - I couldn’t do this over the phone. I threw the piece of paper back into my purse, walking out of my hotel room to my rental car. 

 I punched his home address into the GPS, which indicated I should arrive at my destination in approximately forty minutes. Driving in Chicago was a nightmare. It seemed to be a beautiful city from the small glimpses I was able to take in while trying to keep my eyes on the road. My heart was beating faster as I turned down his street. He lived in the Highland Park section of Chicago in a very upscale townhouse complex, surrounded by mature trees and lush landscaping. Most of the cars in the parking lot looked like they belonged on the showroom floor of a high-end car dealer. I pulled into an out-of-the-way spot. I turned the car off and just sat there, wondering how I had even gotten here. This was not my plan of action and I was beginning to feel somewhat like a crazed stalker. I watched people pulling in and out. Each time someone would exit a vehicle I got butterflies waiting to see if it was him. I finally worked up the nerve, taking the piece of paper out of my purse once again and reading the address. I had my hand on the handle of the car door preparing to exit when I caught a glimpse of him walking over to the black BMW convertible parked on the edge of the parking lot opposite me. I froze as my heart began to race seeing him again, looking just as handsome as the last time. He was loading a suitcase in the back of the trunk. I knew that it was now or never. I took a deep breath, opening the car door, when I saw a beautiful tall slender woman with long silky dark hair and a little girl following behind him. The woman was very well-dressed and looked as if she could have been a runway model. Julian picked up the little girl, who looked to be about two, and gave her a kiss on the cheek as she laughed. I was frozen, feeling like I had been punched in the stomach. A million thoughts raced through my head. Why didn’t James tell me he had a family? Maybe he didn’t keep in touch with Julian like I had thought, or maybe he didn’t want me to be scared off from doing what I had to do. I sat in the car for quite some time after watching them pull away. I couldn’t help but think to myself, that could have been Matty and me—we could have been his family. And for the first time I saw the effects of the choice I had made so long ago.

I went back to my hotel room feeling defeated as I replayed the vision of Julian and his family over and over again. I was in such a catatonic state that I didn’t even call to check on Matty again. I didn’t want to take a chance of him hearing the sadness in my voice and I didn’t feel like tormenting myself by explaining it to Charles and Claire. I knew that this was going to make it even more difficult than I had originally thought. I felt myself becoming angry with him for walking away so easily that day telling me how he didn’t want children, only to find out that now he had one. I had been raising our son on my own for the past five years, so he could go and have his career because he didn’t want kids. I knew now that everything that I thought that we had back then was a lie. I was becoming more infuriated by the minute, now feeling as if I did the right thing by keeping this secret from him. He didn’t deserve to have a child as wonderful as Matty in his life. I had half a mind to just book a flight on the next plane home tomorrow. I knew that Dr. Fowler was probably just as qualified as Julian to provide Matty with the treatment that he needed, but then I remembered the bone marrow transplant. I needed him to at least be tested to see if he was a possible match. I began to wonder how his wife would feel knowing that he had a child out there with some stupid girl who fell for his good looks and charm. I was so mad at myself for being so foolish when it came to him. I quickly removed those thoughts as I began to think, if it weren’t for me falling for him so deeply, Matty wouldn’t be here.

I decided to take a shower to clear my head. The warm water immediately aided in organizing my thoughts. I would have to go to the hospital tomorrow morning and leave a message for him and hope that he would call me back. This trip was an absolute waste of time. I could be home spending this time with Matty instead. I decided that I would try to see if I could change my flight to tomorrow, so I could spend at least one of my days off as planned. I finished showering, content with my plan. I blew dry my hair quickly and put on my nice soft pajamas that Matty had given me last year for my birthday. I lay in bed exhausted, still unable to get what I had uncovered today out of my mind. I tossed and turned for a while and then, much to my surprise, I drifted off into a deep relaxing sleep, something I hadn’t done in a long while. 

I woke up trying to put yesterday behind me and salvage something from this trip as I readied myself to go to the hospital. I went into the bathroom and washed my face. My eyes looked a little puffy but I felt a lot better, partially due to the good night’s sleep that I had gotten. I applied my makeup trying to conceal the small dark circles that I had under my eyes as best I could. I put on my long printed halter dress and black flip-flops. I gave myself one last look in the mirror. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to give a little life to my waves as I pulled the top back loosely into a clip to get it out of my face. My nerves were a lot calmer now, knowing that there was no chance of running into him, since I saw him leaving for what looked to be a nice family getaway. I would have to deal with that if he called me back. I was just a little worried that I wouldn’t even be able to get a message to him. I knew that he was a very sought-after physician who worked on a referral basis only. 

I sat on the bed and opened my laptop. I wanted to switch my flight but was having a hard time connecting to the internet. I decided that I would check when I got back from the hospital, in hopes that I would have better luck. 

I called to check on Matty. There was no answer at my house. I called Claire’s cell phone. They were out to breakfast - again making me wish I was there with them instead of here. I was a little alarmed when she told me Matty had been running a fever again last night but she assured me that Charles had it under control. She put Matty on the phone so I could talk to him.

“Hi Mommy,” he said, full of life.

“Hey Matty, what are you eating for breakfast?” I was so happy just to hear his voice.

“Pancakes and maybe some ice cream after,” he said, whispering the second part.

“Ice cream!” I said. “It’s too early in the morning for that and why are you whispering?”

 “Because Pop and Mom-Mom told me not to tell you.”

 “I miss you,” I said, choking up.

“I miss you too,” he said, sounding as if he were getting distracted, which was normal. He had a very limited attention span when talking on the phone.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you more,” he said, giggling.

“Can I talk to Mom-Mom?” I asked.

Claire got back on the phone. She asked me if I had any luck tracking down Julian. I told her that I was going to the hospital today to leave him a message, leaving out what I had discovered yesterday. I hung up the phone feeling a little better hearing Matty’s voice. I just couldn’t wait to get home. I missed being away from him so much and I didn’t know how I was going to handle all of his overnight stays at the hospital. 

I packed my bag, so it would be ready to go when I got back. All I would have to do was change my ticket and check out, and I’d be home in time to tuck Matty into bed. I smiled at the thought of that as I closed my hotel room door behind me. 

Chapter 25

I pulled into the visitor parking area, overwhelmed by the size of the hospital. It was twice the size of the one where I worked and this hospital only dealt with pediatrics. I stopped at the reception area to find out exactly where Julian’s office was located. I took the elevator up to the fourth floor. I prepped myself to make sure that I was successful in getting a message to him. I headed over to the nurse’s station with a stone cold look of business on my face. I was greeted by an older nurse who seemed like she ran the whole hospital. Great, out of all the nurses, I have to deal with the Gestapo, I thought to myself. She was fumbling through papers and barking out orders to a much younger nurse with whom I immediately sympathized. I could tell she was fairly new and inexperienced and this woman loved the fact that she could throw her weight around. I instinctively gave the younger nurse a smile as she smiled back in appreciation.

“Can I help you?” the older nurse asked in an unfriendly tone.

“Yes, I wanted to get a message to Dr. Kiron,” I said, handing her my business card. 

“Is this regarding a patient?” she asked, giving my business card and me the once-over.

“Actually, it’s not; it’s personal, and I just ask that you please give him the message.” I was growing more irritated with her rudeness by the moment.

“The doctor has a very tight schedule, and I can’t make any guarantees if it’s not regarding a particular patient,” she said smugly.

I felt my temper raging. I thought of Matty and my urgent need to get in touch with Julian or else I had traveled all this way for nothing. “Well, I don’t think that is up to you to decide who Dr. Kiron responds to and who he doesn’t. Your job is to just make sure that he gets his messages.” I felt my face getting hot.

She was stone-faced, almost as if in disbelief that someone had actually stood up to her. The younger nurse stood behind her with a slight smile on her face. I knew that after that, she would probably just rip my card up and not give him the message, leaving me to have to call him after all. But I felt some satisfaction in putting her in her place.

I turned around to exit, feeling defeated. I wanted to cry and then – I saw him. He was walking out of the elevator talking to another doctor. I pushed a loose piece of hair that had fallen from my clip behind my ear and bit my lower lip. I was frozen for a moment not knowing what to do. But I knew that this might be the only chance that I was going to get. I took a deep breath.

“Julian,” I shouted. My heart was racing.

 He stopped mid-sentence as his eyes met mine. He looked as if he had seen a ghost. I immediately got butterflies in my stomach as he flashed that familiar smile that I had loved so much. 

 “Dr. Kiron, are you okay?” the female doctor asked.

 “I’m fine, I’ll have the report for you later,” he said in a dismissing tone.

 I stood still, unable to move as he approached me. “How are you, Kat?” he gently placed his hand on my arm.

“I’m well, thank you,” I answered, actually feeling my knees begin to shake.

He was more handsome than I remembered. His hair was cut much shorter all over. His eyes were just as beautiful as ever; just like Matty’s. 

 What are you doing here—are you here on business?” 

“No, not really,” I said nervously. He looked at me, confused, as if waiting for an answer. “Julian I need to talk to you, somewhere private.”  I looked around knowing that this was not the place to do it.

 “Okay, I should be done here in an hour,” he said sweetly and somewhat confused. “There’s a coffee shop right at the end of the street, do you want to meet me there at noon?” He looked at his watch.

“Okay,” I said in a very flat tone.

“I’ll see you then,” he said with a smile before he walked away.

 I finally made my way to the elevator shaking the whole time. I tried regaining my composure before I drove down to the coffee shop. I window-shopped at the little shops that were up and down the street. I couldn’t resist going in when I walked past an old-fashioned toy shop that had unique toys displayed in the window. I walked around feeling a lot like Matty, taking everything in. I knew they wouldn’t have any of the action figures that he liked. Instead, I grabbed two puzzles, which were now becoming one of his favorite things to do. The lady rang me up as I looked at my watch. It was getting closer to noon so I decided to sit on the bench in front of the coffee shop to wait. I was checking my emails on my Blackberry and enjoying the sunshine when Julian pulled up in a black BMW. He looked stunningly handsome in blue jeans and a white button-up shirt. Nothing had changed about him over the years. I threw my Blackberry into my purse and stood up to greet him.