The Emerald Valley (83 page)

Standing beside the bed, she let her eye roam around every corner. There was the crack under the window that once she had worried about.

‘Suppose the house is subsiding?' she had said to Llew. ‘With all the mine workings hereabouts, you never know.'

‘Don't worry about it, Amy. The house will be here long after you and I have gone,' Llew had said.

Well, he had been right there.

Then there was the coffee-stain on the carpet, a bedtime drink she had spilled one night when Llew had grabbed her unexpectedly for a kiss.

Sharp nostalgia twisted in her then, a potent mixture of sadness mingled with her happy anticipation of the future.

Oh Llew, you do understand, don't you? she asked silently. I have to go on living. And I've done my very best, truly I have. I've built up the business that meant so much to you. I've brought up your son. And whatever happens to me in the future, I shall never forget you, I promise. But I can't spend the rest of my life alone. So please, please understand …

The silence in the room was complete. As she breathed it in, still looking around, suddenly it seemed to her that Llew was there beside her, unseen yet all around … in the crack on the wall and the coffee-stain on the carpet, in the very air she was breathing. She stood motionless and as the feeling of his presence seeped into her, the doubts and sadness seemed to melt away.

Llew knew and Llew understood. He was giving her his blessing. She felt it at the very core of her being, without any doubts, and from the calm still place deep inside she knew nothing but gratitude. Her fingers closed on the stem of her shower bouquet and she held it out.

‘This is for you, Llew,' she said softly. ‘After the wedding, I shall put it on your grave. But there will be other people about then, so I'm telling you quietly now.'

For a moment longer the gentle silence lasted and Amy felt completely at peace. Then from the foot of the stairs Jim called, ‘Amy – are you ready? The car's here!' and she returned swiftly to reality.

‘It's all right – I'm coming!' she called back.

Then, with one last look around the room, she went downstairs.

As Jim had said, the car was waiting. When Amy went out to it, several neighbours waved and called their good wishes and she waved back, beginning to feel a little as if she was living a dream. In spite of the rain there were more people waiting outside the church, sheltering under umbrellas and watching for the bride. She took Jim's arm, composing herself, and walked along the path between the ages-old gravestones, passing beneath the ancient sundial on the church wall with the inscription which meant so much to all who read it.

When as a child I laughed and wept
Time crept
When as a youth I thought and talked
Time walked
When I became a full-grown man
Time ran
When older still I daily grew
Time flew
Soon I shall find in passing on
Time gone.

The church was almost full in spite of the small guest list. Amy was aware of a sea of faces turned to watch her come in on Jim's arm, and of the heavy scent of the spring flowers which decorated every nook and cranny in the window sills and the old stone pillars. She smiled automatically, checked that the girls were lined up side by side ready to follow her and nodded to Jim.

‘All right,' she whispered breathlessly.

Then they were moving down the aisle between the pews and the rows of smiling, backward-looking faces. She saw Jack and Stella, Dolly holding onto Noël whose red, shiny face was beaming happily at her, and on the other side of the aisle the dark hair shot with grey that belonged to Flora Porter. She had time to register a moment's regret that Ted and Rosa could not be here, sharing her wedding day with the rest of the family, and then she had eyes for no one but the tall figure waiting at the end of the nave, immaculate in his morning suit. As she neared him he turned to look at her and their eyes met in a long, shared smile. And then the rector began the words of the time-honoured ceremony which would make them man and wife:

‘Dearly beloved, we are gathered together …'

As the Morgan climbed the long rise out of Hillsbridge, Amy caught at Ralph's arm.

‘Can we stop, just for a minute?'

‘Stop? Don't tell me you're walking out on me already! We've only been married three hours!'

‘No, I'm not walking out. I just want to take a last look at Hillsbridge.'

‘We shall only be gone for a fortnight.'

‘I know. But just one look. Please!'

He pulled into the side and she got out, crossing the pavement to lean both elbows on the wall. Beneath her the field dropped away, humpy green, to the tangle of soot-blackened buildings, the railway lines, the yard and tall brick chimney of Middle Pit. Beyond the church tower rose square and grey; still further and encircling the town, the banks rose again, shades of emerald in the evening sun which had eventually broken through the storm clouds.

‘Funny old place, isn't it?' Ralph said.

She didn't answer. Funny old place, maybe. Some might even say ugly – a scar on the softly rolling country. But all the important things in her life had happened here – the joys and sorrows, the triumphs and disasters. The hills that encircled Hillsbridge had contained her life and all its milestones. Somehow she had a feeling they always would.

‘The Emerald Valley,' she said softly.

‘Mm?' Ralph questioned, but she only shook her head. It sounded too romantic and foolish even for a wedding day.

‘Ready then?' Ralph touched her waist lightly and she turned so that all she could see was the road, winding up ahead of them.

‘Ready,' she said.

First published in 1985 by Century

This edition published 2012 by Bello an imprint of Pan Macmillan, a division of Macmillan Publishers Limited Pan Macmillan, 20 New Wharf Road, London N1 9RR Basingstoke and Oxford Associated companies throughout the world

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ISBN 978-1-4472-3516-3 EPUB
ISBN 978-1-4472-3515-6 POD

Copyright © Janet Tanner, 1985

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