The Embers Of My Heart (27 page)

"Thanks."

We moved to the couch and I felt substantially better after she brought me a glass of water. "So, you passed," she said. "I suppose."

"Barely," I agreed. "I mean, I only beat my own record by forty seconds or so."

"It was acceptable," she said.

"How'd I do on the world standings?" I asked.

She tilted her head a little and laughed. "You only learned about this exercise two weeks ago, and you think you're on the world stage already?"

"You said it's a standard," I pointed out. "I figure there's got to be some sort of benchmark. Other than the two minute minimum you set for me."

"There are some benchmarks," she said. "But I want to make a few things clear first. There's no central authority on this and everyone does it differently. There's no Psionic Olympics to make sure everyone's on the level. And everyone lies. Everyone."

"All right. Go on."

"Doing it in under a minute thirty is a bronze level achievement. Minute twenty is silver. Minute ten is gold. A minute or less is a platinum level achievement." She smiled at me. "No one's seriously claimed anything under fifty seconds, and all the intelligence we've ever seen shows that under a minute is extremely rare. The undisputed record is fifty three point eight seconds. The unofficial record is fifty one point two."

"I destroyed that," I said.

"Sure did," she said. "And I think you've got potential to go faster. Most people can't handle more than four to six different threads. You can handle ten easily. Twelve was pushing it. You got sloppy after the first five barriers and just hammered the rest."

"I don't have the endurance to keep all of them active yet," I said.

"You got slow and sloppy," she said. Her tone shifted to all business. "You let half of those threads fade without properly disengaging them, which is dangerous. You nearly hit me with that last kinetic push. I would have been upset if you did. You're the psionic equivalent of a sprinter. That's not a bad thing. I suspect the Establishment wants you to have that sort of profile. It explains why they work on your brute strength to the detriment of everything else. In a straight up contest, you're going to be able to match practically anyone in the world. In theory."

"In theory?"

"In reality, experience and technique count too, not just strength and speed," she said. "Take me, for example. You're stronger, but I wouldn't have any problem beating you, especially if I got the jump on you. If I didn't take you out in the first strike, my best chance is to outlast you and I know I can."

"I'm not sure if you're talking about psionics or our sex life."

She stuck her tongue out at me. "I'm being serious here, for once. Todd told me to keep you training, but I don't know if I should push the endurance angle too much. The Establishment's trying to keep that minimized and I don't want to send you home with too much unexplained ability. They're going to have enough questions for you."

"No kidding," I said. I only had a week left here. No one had called, texted, or e-mailed me. The silence was ominous. Absynthe was going to kill me.

She waved her hand in the air. "So, that's enough of that. I hereby declare you healthy and fit."

"Oh, good." I waved a hand in the air. "I don't feel fit right now, but I'll take your word for it."

She pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. "I wish you were going to stay here," she said. I frowned and she squeezed herself tighter. "I know we still have a week to go, but this has been one of the most amazing months of my life. I've been alone since leaving the east coast. Todd's been sending me out solo and it's been so stressful."

"Wait, you're going out on your own?" I asked.

"Yeah." She closed her eyes. "No safety net. If I screw up, no one's going to know what happened to me."

I moved closer and put an arm around her. She leaned into me, but didn't let go of her legs. "I don't like that idea."

"I don't either," she said. "I have you. I have my Jessy. I have things to live for. I don't want to go out on my own anymore. I know there are things that only I can do, and we just don't have the resources to do everything at once, and once I'm out there doing things, I feel the adrenaline and all the fear goes away for a while. That was before. Now you're here. Soon you'll be gone. And I'll be alone again."

"I feel the same," I said. She looked up at me. "No, really. My friends are great, but they're all paired off. I don't have anyone there I really connect with anymore. I go out with them and I'm the third, fifth, seventh wheel. It's painful. I feel alone. Even around Max and Drew. No matter how much they try to include me, there's always something missing."

She let go of her legs and snuggled into me. "Why can't you just stay here?" she asked. "Join the Resistance. Be with me. We'll be happy together."

"They'll threaten me and my friends and my family," I said. "You know how it goes."

"We can rescue them."

It tempted me more than I could ever tell her. "Do you really think that Todd would go for that? Rescue my closest friends, my family, and figure out what to do with my mom, right from the home base of the Establishment?"

She shook her head. "Never. He's not going to risk bringing down the full wrath of those people. I know it's a crazy dream. I just want to stay in this dream and never wake up."

"I don't want to go back either." I reached out and used a quick snap of psionic power to bring her cell phone to my hand. "But I'm going to do something for you before I go."

"What are you doing?"

I pulled up her contact list. "You've got Todd in here, right? There he is."

"Don't just go rooting through my phone! That's rude!"

I hit the dial button and swatted her hands away. He answered on the second ring. "Sarah?"

"Uncle Todd," I said.

"Kev. What's up?"

"Need to talk to you about something."

"Make it quick, I'm on a deadline."

"All right. Stop sending her out by herself."

He chuckled. "Is that it?"

"I'm serious."

"I don't have time for this."

"I know she's important to you and your plans out here. I'm not saying don't send her out. I'm saying don't send her out by herself. She needs a team. She's had one before."

He sighed deeply into the phone. "Don't tell me how to deploy my people, Kevin."

I shook my head and she frowned at me. "Don't push," she whispered.

I ignored her. "I'm prepared to make you an offer."

"Oh?"

I closed my eyes, summoned my resolve, and opened them again to stare directly into Star's green eyes. "I'll join the Resistance."

Star gasped and Todd cleared his throat. "Put me on speaker." I held the phone out and she tapped the speaker icon while never taking her eyes off mine. "Sarah, are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here."

"Is he under any duress or psionic manipulation?"

"To the best of my knowledge, no."

"Are you?"

"I'm in shock, but that's about it."

"Do you believe him?"

She still hadn't even blinked. "Yes. No reservations."

He sighed. "Kev, you know what this means, don't you?"

"I do have a couple of conditions."

"Don't worry about it." He sounded tired. "I'm not going to ask you to leave the Establishment. It's better for all of us if you don't. I don't want you to jeopardize your position there. No intelligence. No betrayals. Nothing. You're going to go back home and pretend that you've never met me. If certain people there find out, namely Alistair, you're dead. If they killed everyone who had some connection to the Resistance, they'd have no one left, but if you're in direct contact with me? You're dead. You're too dangerous to leave alive if there's any chance that other factions will find out what's hiding in your genes."

"So what do you want me to do, then?" I asked.

"Promise me that when the time comes, you'll make the right decision," he said. I frowned and Star's eyes narrowed as well. "No, I'm not kidding. It's more difficult than you think. You'll know when the time comes."

"That sounds very mystical," I said.

"Sarah, tell him what one of the less common second tier powers is."

"Precognition," she said.

"Oh come on," I said. "Don't give me that. I was just getting used to the idea of having psionic powers in the first place and now you're telling me we can see the future? Are you a second tier?"

"I'm latent second tier," he said. I looked at Star. She didn't seem surprised at all. "I can't trigger any abilities at will, but I have had precognitive trances. Yes, one of them involved you. I can't tell you any specifics because I don't want to influence you. All I can tell you is you're going to need to make an important decision, and no matter what you choose, the price will be high, higher than you can bear. I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "I don't believe in fortune telling."

"Precognition isn't fortune telling," he said. "Don't ever make that mistake. Every single recorded precognitive prediction in modern history has been accurate. The theory is that even in a multiverse full of potential decisions and consequences, there are certain chokepoints that will happen. Will happen, Kevin. It'll happen. I don't care if you believe me or not, just make the promise that you'll make the right choice when the time comes."

"All right," I said. "I promise."

"Good. Sarah? I'm giving you a command cell."

"What?"

"I've been relying on you long enough," he said. "You've had experience operating solo, in a cell, and leading a cell. Now you're going to lead multiple cells."

"Sounds good to me, if you think I'm ready," she said.

"I do. Does that meet your requirement, Kev?"

"It does," I said.

"Then we have a deal. Kevin, welcome to the Resistance."

Those words echoed in my head well after the conversation ended and we hung up. Star and I had dinner and watched a movie, but neither of those things registered in my long-term memory. Todd's brief description of my future kept running through my mind. I didn't necessarily believe that I was doomed to whatever fate he had seen, but Star seemed to be taking it seriously.

"So, what's the price going to be?" I asked.

She looked up from her book. "Sorry?"

"From what Todd was talking about."

She put the book down, took her glasses off, and took my hands in hers. "Kevin, sweetheart, don't think too far ahead. He didn't give any timeframe for it. It could be years or even decades away."

"Or it could never happen."

"No." Her hands tightened. "Unless Todd's lying, but no one lies about precognition. The moment someone lies, no one trusts that person ever again. Knowing the future is too dangerous to fuck around with."

"But how can they actually know that?" I shook my head. "I really don't believe in fate or predestination or whatever you'd call it. He saw a potential future, I'll agree on that point, but I don't buy that all roads lead there."

"It's always happened before," Star said. "Look, I know it's hard to believe, but precognitive trances have been one hundred percent accurate. Every single one."

"But what about the trances that no one talked about?" I asked. "What if I had a trance and never said a damn thing to anyone. No one would be able to verify if it happened or not, and if I said something after the fact, there's no proof I saw it in the first place."

She made a face. "Obviously. That's why precogs make sure to tell people beforehand."

"That poisons the well, though! What if the act of telling someone makes sure that it'll happen?"

"Now you're just reaching for reasons to not believe. I know it doesn't make a lot of rational sense, but we're already doing all sorts of weird shit with our powers. What's one more? What he saw is going to happen, Kevin. It'll involve you, it'll be important. He's not telling you anything more for a reason. He doesn't want to influence the outcome."

"But how can he even tell what the outcome is going to be? That doesn't make any sense!"

"You'll have to ask a precog," she said. "I don't understand how it works."

"But-"

She let go of my hands and rolled toward me. "Shut up. I'm not going to waste the rest of this week arguing with you. There are much more important things to do. You're wearing too many clothes."

Chapter Eighteen

I groaned and tried not to shift around too much. The girl in front of me was reclining too far, the one behind me had a laptop out, and the guy next to me was just a little too big for his seat. My one attempt to stretch out into the aisle just a little resulted in a polite request from one of the flight attendants to keep my limbs in my own seat space. I dealt with the cramping. At least no one smelled.

I kicked myself for not bringing my own laptop along. Even just picking up a book at the airport would have been a good idea, but we woke up late and I barely even made the flight. The catalogs in the back of the seat didn't hold my attention for long. Replaying some of the more fun memories from the past month only made me lonely.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now on final approach to Albany International Airport." The captain's voice broke my misery and I let out a deep breath of relief. Less than an hour until I could get the hell out of this box. I closed my eyes and tried to settle my mind. I knew as soon as I landed, Absynthe would be demanding my ass on a platter.

The mental surge that hit me was as hard as I'd ever felt. I screwed my eyes shut and responded to the summons. When the mental realm resolved around me, I realized that I had misjudged Absynthe. "About time you responded." Her voice came from right behind me and I resisted the urge to whirl around and face her. Instead of her normal dark decor, the room sported lurid, angry red tones. I took a step toward the table and poured myself a glass of water before turning to her. Instead of her normal dark clothes, she wore an almost severe paramilitary outfit with equally angry red accents. I found it safe to assume that she was pissed.

I couldn't help it. I laughed.

Darkness poured off her in visible waves. I felt a psionic grip on my throat. "What is funny about this?"