The Dreamer (29 page)

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was watching me, his expression different, questioning, with a hint of concern. His fingers were on his goblet, but he was slowly releasing it, as though his hand was unsure what to do.

“I … well, I want to thank you for rescuing me. I haven’t thanked you yet ….”

My voice trailed off. My thoughts went to his passionate kiss, and I felt my face flush crimson.

There was silence between us, Mallory not saying a word, his dark, slightly melancholy eyes looking down at me with sudden grimness, his mouth stern as though I displeased him in some way.

I concentrated on my food, waiting. I didn’t exactly know what I was waiting for, but I knew that, whatever it was, needed to come first from him.

The silence grew heavier as the night went on. The meal seemed to go on forever. I noticed Fredrick send a comment or two our way, eyeing us curiously.

Once, when I reached for the salt, Mallory happened to reach for it, too, and I quickly withdrew my hand when it brushed his. A muscle moved in his jaw, and he looked harsh. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re acting strange, as though you’re suddenly afraid of me.”

“I’m not … not afraid of you.”

We sat looking at each other for some moments, and involuntarily, my eyes fell to his well-defined lips. I could feel the flush rise to my face. When I was done with my food, I remained only a few more minutes. Without something to do with my nervous fingers, I quickly found myself so uncomfortable that I excused myself and left. I hoped that Mallory might follow after me, but he didn’t.

*** *** ***

Later that night, I sat on the edge of my bed, my head bent, thinking. I was still fully dressed, my hair still pinned. I hadn’t bothered undressing.

There was a knock at the door, and I looked up eagerly.

“Just a moment,” I cried, and flew to the mirror to smooth back my hair and straighten my dress.

But when I flung open the door, I stopped abruptly and the smile fell from my face in disappointment. It was only Fredrick, holding a stack of papers in his hand. He did not look happy.

“Will you please explain to me how I, the famous Captain Fred Fredrick, pirate and icon of dashing manhood, have been reduced to
errand
boy
upon my very own ship? And it must follow, I suppose, that the recipient cannot summon even the smallest gratitude … let’s forget entirely actual pleasure at the sight of me.” He held the papers out to me.

“What are these?” I asked and took them. “My notes! But I thought ….”

“Mallory saved them. The mere transport of soiled papers, evidently, is not degrading enough. I am also to inform you that he rescued them before the
Nine Sisters
went under, and thought you might like to have them returned to you.”

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t he come himself?”

“You don’t think I demanded that myself? He only made some indistinguishable sound in his throat and said you most likely had had enough of him for one day. Whereupon I observed that the female in question would most likely find it impossible to see too much of her beloved in a single day, especially on
such
a day. But he insisted. And when I reminded him of the likelihood of finding perhaps a dozen or so men aboard who could run the trivial errand who were
not
captain of the ship, he used his newly acquired powers of persuasion and shamelessly turned my appallingly good nature against me. And consequently, I was trapped.”

“Thank you,” I said dubiously.

“Young lovers and your quarrels. I have no patience with you.”

Lovers’ quarrel?

Without replying, I looked down at the pages, feeling as though I had never seen them before and at a loss as to what to do with them. What had happened? How had everything seemed to suddenly fall apart? Why did he not come himself?

I expected Fredrick to turn heel and leave. But, after a watchful, silent moment, and despite all his protests, he wandered into the room and seated himself in a chair with customary presumption and leisure.

“Well, as I’m already here, I might as well stay. I can’t very well go and leave you looking like little girl lost.”

“I’m afraid I’m a great deal of trouble all around,” I replied miserably and fingered my papers.

He threw up his hands. “What’s the matter with everybody? I was under the impression we
won
the battle today. Or am I going senile?”

I smiled apologetically. “I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me, Captain Fredrick.”

There was silence. I looked down at those notes in my grip. What was the matter with me? They were everything I needed now, and yet they seemed meaningless. I thought I had lost all my research. Wasn’t I happy beyond measure that I didn’t have to begin anew? All my dreams had now been handed to me. I could finish my work and present it as a gift to the world. This was the whole reason I suffered and worked these last weeks, no years. I had success beyond the furthest reaches of my imagination.

Yet all I could think was why had he not come? Did he regret kissing me as he’d done, and was trying to communicate it gently?

“Remind me to keep out of your way until you get this cleared up between the two of you,” Captain Fredrick said, who must have been trying to speak to me for some time. “Excuse me.” He left with a flourish.

*** *** ***

The next day I emerged from my cabin onto the deck, blinking at the bright sunlight. I had slept late into the morning and my head ached.

I went to the railings and looked out at the endless water. The sky was clear and glorious, the ocean blue and fresh and friendly, the sun blazing and celestial. But I did not like it.

I turned and saw Mallory further down the length of the ship speaking with a crewman. He saw me, and our eyes met and held. Suddenly invigorated, I smiled at him, and he smiled back. And then he returned to his conversation. I turned back to the water and bit my lip.

His conversation did not last much longer. Mallory hesitated and then made his way towards me.

“Good morning,” I said with forced brightness.

“Good morning,” he returned, and I saw that his unsmiling eyes were on the cross.

He waited. One more awkward pause, and then we both looked out to sea.

How had this happened? What went wrong? It seemed we were strangers. I took a breath. “Fredrick told me what you did yesterday. It was … extraordinary. I always knew you were extraordinary, but I didn’t know anyone was capable of turning an entire pirate crew with a single speech.”

He gave me a slight smile in return, his dark hair falling onto his brow.

“And what you did ashore. How you negotiated for a new ship and pardons for the men ….”

“You don’t mind me giving up the treasure?” he asked quickly.

“Of course not. But how did you manage it?”

“I imagined you on my arm restraining me and made sure not to barge through doorways,” he explained lightly.

I laughed. “It wasn’t as easy as that.”

He didn’t reply. He simply looked at me, scanning my face carefully, his eyes intense and even pained.

“What is it, Captain?”

“You’re right. I didn’t picture you on my arm. I pictured your face the last time I’d seen it, when you used your one shot to save me instead of yourself. And I remembered how you were dragged away, fighting and screaming my name … begging for forgiveness, of all things. And there was nothing I could do. Why did you do it? Didn’t you realize what would happen to you?”

I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “I knew.”

“I’ve seen a lot of fighting, Rachel. And I’ve seen a lot of valor. But that was ….” He shook his head. “You poor, noble child. You broke my heart.”

I swallowed. He was very close to me now.

“It’s how I did it. How I did everything,” he explained. “I knew I had to get you back at any cost, whatever it took. I told the authorities of the treasure, promised a share to whoever asked for it. We took a ship and left within hours and followed after you, knowing all the time it could already be too late. And then, when we faced them in open battle, I knew we could not win. Fredrick was confident we were evenly matched, but I knew we were not. There were too many of them. So I perjured and negotiated. And I won’t lie to you. None of it was easy. But one thought of your brave, frightened expression, and I knew I had to do it.”

He reached out and gripped my hand. The warmth of his hand seemed to penetrate through the barriers of ice that had been building up the last hours.

“And what of you?” he asked gently. “Dare I ask what you’ve suffered the last few days?”

“Oh, it’s been awful,” I declared. “I thought there was no escape for you and that you all perished when the
Nine Sisters
went down. I saw those awful sharks and all the blood. And then they took me back down to that disgusting holding cell.” The pressure of Mallory’s hand increased here almost unbearably. “But nothing happened,” I continued hastily. “I was so determined to just fade away, no one could reach me. So they realized they must use different tactics and took me back to the upper deck, and Charles turned on his charm full force. It really was pathetic. After what he put me through the first time, to think in a million years he could just fool me again.”

“And that’s what you told him?” he asked worriedly.

“No, of course not. He told me you might be alive. I knew that if you were alive, you would come and get me, and so I must stay alive, too. I led him to believe I trusted him again, Captain. And it worked.”

“You fooled him?” he asked in surprise. “Dubois?”

“Yes, truly, you would have been so proud of me, Captain. The way I shrunk in fear when he came near me.” I shuddered theatrically. “And subtly reminded him of my previous treatment. He actually expected me to believe he’d put me in the holding cell to keep me safe. Can you believe the gall of the man?”

“Yes. Easily. But you were never fooled?”

“Never.”

The captain asked in a low, dangerous voice, “What happened in the end, Rachel?”

I swallowed. “Then … then I asked to go ashore while they pulled up the treasure, and John came with me.” My face clouded over and I looked down. “I’m afraid I wasn’t very nice to him. And he was always kind and understanding in return, though he was incredibly foolish, too, and believed everything Charles said to him.” I hesitated. “Do you want to know the end?” I asked quietly.

“If you can bear to tell me,” he said gently.

Slowly I recounted what John had done for me, and I couldn’t help but weep at the memory. The captain put his arm around me, and I hid my face in his strong shoulder. “His last thoughts were for you, Mallory. He asked me to tell you what he’d done, hoping you would think of him with fondness.”

I looked up to see the captain staring off into the horizon. With impatience he said, “Foolish John! Of course I would always think of him with fondness.”

“And he said to tell you that he was happy … to go first. So that he may show you the way again.” I choked on the last words and the captain released me and turned away, but not before I saw a glimpse of his pained expression. I felt a blanket was removed from me, and I was suddenly cold.

“He made me promise that he would see me again. You and me.”

“And will we?” he asked, his voice quiet and strangely aloof.

“I hope so. I’ll try very hard to see that I do.” I touched the cross.

His eyes went to it. And when he reached out to touch it, I instinctively stepped back.

His fingers curled into a fist. “Don’t fear me, Rachel,” he said tightly.

“I
don’t
fear you.”

“Are you sure? That kiss ….” His voice faded.

“Of course,” I said with a brave smile. “I told you before, when you rescued me the first time, remember? It was not an inadequate form of repayment ….”

I knew immediately that it was the wrong thing to say. His face paled, and he did not return my smile. He did not try to get near me again.

He spoke carefully, gently. “The pharaoh’s treasure might be broken up, but you’ll get full credit, Rachel. With Dubois gone, your future is set. There is nothing to deter you from … what did you call it? Notoriety and acclaim? We have a happy ending now.”

I quietly watched him. “What of you?”

He looked surprised. “My future was never in question. It is the same as it always was.”

The same as it always was.
I looked down at my hands and said nothing. I felt I was sinking a little bit.

He, too, glanced at my empty hands. “You’ll have a lot to record, won’t you? Where are your notes? Didn’t the captain give them to you?”

No! I wanted to retort.
The captain
did not give me my notes. Fredrick gave me my notes.
The captain
was busy elsewhere.