The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships (57 page)

Read The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships Online

Authors: Phyllis R. Koch-Sheras

Tags: #test

BOOK: The Dream Sharing Sourcebook: A Practical Guide to Enhancing Your Personal Relationships
8.83Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
 
Page 266
confused and hang up. I wonder if the music had been playing on the first call but I didn't notice it.
When Ginny worked on this dream with a close friend, she revealed, ''I think this dream is about Jack. I think he is calling me and wanting to talk, but I am not listening very well. Only the second time can I hear that there is really music to be heard.'' Her instinct urged her to listen to Jack more and try harder to communicate. She knew they had to work more on the third Ccommunication.
The previous chapters show how creating visions of being together as a couple can obviously support your happiness. Creating a shared proclamation from your visions is one of the most powerful methods of using dreams. It can establish commitment and empower communications. Consider the proclamation Martha and Raoul created.
Raoul was the jealous type, according to Martha. He always wanted to know where she was and with whom. She felt that he didn't trust her and treated her more like a piece of property than the woman he loved. She felt that he was always "testing" her to see if she was being faithful. Concerned that they might break up, they decided to go to their minister. Martha wondered if they had ever really proclaimed their commitment to stay together. "If you can do that," the minister said, "then you don't have to worry about breaking up. Proclaim that you will be together forever, and then you don't have to be suspicious." It sounded a bit strange at first. They realized that if they said they would stay together and trusted each other, they didn't have to waste time checking up. They created the proclamation "We trust our couple." If Raoul felt jealous, their couple talked about why he might feel that way
 
Page 267
and what they both could do to change his feeling. They were partners in dealing with his jealously. Instead of it coming between them, they shared the responsibility for the problem and worked together to solve it.
Dreams and visions relate to the fourth C, community, as well. Such dreams may point out that even with the first three Cs, you may still experience a lack of community or a feeling of isolation. As noted anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson illustrates so eloquently in her book
Peripheral Visions
: "Caring and commitment are what make persons, and persons in turn reach out for community." Erik had a dream that dramatically demonstrates these principles. The isolation he felt reminded him of his need to be with others, especially Alice, his lover of many years.
The Dark Cave
I am in a dark cave. It is damp and misty. I think I came in to look for my economics book. It is too dark to see anything much. I decide the best thing to do is to try to turn around and retrace my steps. I am crawling by the time I reach the entrance and go back outside. I see a group of people standing there applauding me as I emerge. I am desperately looking for Alice. I say her name and a person from the crowd shouts, "She is with us."
Erik shared this dream with Alice. She commented that they had not been spending much time with their friends lately. Erik said, "The dream showed me how important other people were. I was in the dark without them, and they were taking care of Alice for me until I got back outside again." Erik's community of friends kept him from the darkness. After this dream, he and Alice decided to have some friends over the next weekend.
 
Page 268
Your Couple can Contribute to Your Dream Life
You have seen that dreams will tell you a great deal about your relationships. Your intimate relationships, however, can also contribute to your dream life. Entering into a great relationship and working to keep it vital and exciting fosters an active dream life. The quest for a happy couple can nurture not just night dreams, but many daydreams and visions as well. During times of stress or even great positive excitement, our sleeping minds are often just as stimulated as our waking minds. Even the anticipation of a flowering relationship can have great impact. Consider Aron's dream. He had been at college for nearly two months and away from Cynthia, his high school girlfriend. The night before she came for a weekend visit, he had a vivid dream.
Where's Cindy?
I am at the airport waiting for the plane to unload. I know that Cindy will be on it. I am anxious to see her. The first few people to get off the plane are very overweight. More and more people get offthey are all overweight! I realize that Cindy might be getting off, but she, too, will be overweight.
Aron was so struck by the dream that he told it to his roommate, Chuck. "I guess you are expecting a lot from her visit," Chuck said, half jokingly. Aron almost never remembered his dreams but was fascinated by this one. Maybe he was expecting Cindy to be "larger than life" in some way. He decided to scale back his expectations a little and just have fun when she arrived. He was less anxious and more relaxed when he went to meet her at the airport. He was relieved to see that she was not overweight. The next year he took a psychology class about dreams.

Other books

A SEAL's Secret by Tawny Weber
Wild & Hexy by Vicki Lewis Thompson
On the Floor by Aifric Campbell
Wicked Fix by Sarah Graves
Caught by Red Garnier
December 6 by Martin Cruz Smith
We Were Beautiful Once by Joseph Carvalko