The Draglen Brothers - SHOWKEN (BK 2) (7 page)

“Showken, I think you should leave her alone. She’s not what you want to deal with
, and look at you digging up information and shit on this girl. Let her go,” Hawken says, giving me a serious look. This is a lot to take in, but I can’t let her go now, that is what she’s expecting, but I will teach her a lesson today.

“Hawken
, thanks for the information and advice, but I have my own plans, and leaving her alone is not on the list,” I say. A growl escapes my mouth.

“Oh, I see
,” Hawken says, rising. “Showken, I’m just worried. Be careful, and get her out of your system,” he says heading out the door. I sit there thinking about tonight, and how I can play this out without fucking up my chance. I decide to leave right after 2 p.m. I can do the rest of my calls at home. I walk past Kim, and don’t realize I didn’t say anything until I’m in my car driving home.

I wish Showken had never come over last night. I hope he takes the hint and realizes he and I can’t be a ‘we’. Last night was the first time I had ever let myself go with a man. I’m usually very guarded. I don’t feel like going to the bar tonight, but I need the money. I’ve been saving for a newer car. I pull into the parking lot and sit for a few minutes before my shift starts. It’s a nice crowd, but nothing like the weekends, this is the after work crowd. I hear my phone ringing and it’s Jasmine.

“Hello
,” I say.

“Don’t hello me, you usually call me on your day off
, and this has been our ritual for two years. So what happened last night? Any nightmares?” Jasmine asks, sounding really concerned. I hate when I have nightmares, but last night was a fantasy. I wish I could be in a relationship, but I don’t want to bring my baggage to Showken. He would run for the hills.

“
Marilyn? Huh? What you thinking about?” Jasmine asks.

I sigh, I
know telling her will only ease her mind. I take a deep breath and let it spill.

“I fucked Showken last night
,” I say, waiting for it. There is silence and then a lot of screaming and laughing.

“Holy fuckballs B
atman! Bitch, you were digging him, I knew it. All of that talk and he got to you. Is he good? I bet he’s awesome in bed with that body and those eyes . . . shit, I wish I were you. Damn. You finally got some,”

“Jazz, yes it was awesome, yes it’s the best I’ve ever had and I couldn’t fucking walk, but
,” I say hesitating.

“No buts,
you deserves this. Please Mari, tell me you didn’t give him the boot?” she pleads. I climb out of the car and head towards the back door to start my shift. I’m glad we close early tonight.

“Mari listen, he’s what you need to find your
way back into the world of dating, and who knows, you might fall for him,” she says. I walk into the bar and head towards the front. I’m still talking on the phone when I see him. He has his arm around some whore and is having a beer with her. I hear Jasmine calling my name. I’m fucking shocked; he was just begging to see me tonight. The tears are filling my eyes, and I refuse to let one drop. He looks up and makes eye contact with me, and we stare at each other. Fuck him, I say to myself, turning to head back out the door. I can’t do this today, not now. He used me like everyone does. Hanging up the cell phone, I make a dash for my car. I hear running behind me, and turning around I see Showken, right there spinning me around. Reflex kicks in and I begin to fight. I’m crying uncontrollably while I’m kicking and punching him.

“
Marilyn, please just listen, it’s not what you think,” he says.

“Fuck you; get your han
ds off me before I yell rape!” He stares at me strangely. I can’t even be sorry for saying that right now. He used me and just wanted to get into my pants, just like I thought. “LET ME GO NOW!” I yell. He finally releases me and I make my way to my car. I’ll call in a few minutes and inform my boss I’m not coming in. Showken follows.

“
Marilyn please, I just was trying to get you to see me tonight, I wasn’t thinking, I don’t want that girl, I want you. I ran after you, please don’t shut me out, please, please, I’m so sorry,” he says, and I see a flicker in his eyes, but I shake my head. I can’t do this. People always hurt me. My cell phone starts ringing and it’s Jasmine. I hit ignore. Climbing into my car, I start the engine and drive off. I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t go home, he will only follow me there. I just drive. I call my boss to let him know I need a few days off; he agrees, and I fill up my tank and drive. Showken used me. I can’t believe I fell for him. I don’t have anywhere to go. I can’t go to Jasmine’s, because he might know where she stays. I feel the tears come again. I’m so stupid for allowing this to happen to me, again. Nobody wants me; I will always be an unloved woman. Why would he want me, my own mother didn’t want me, she chose her loser boyfriend over me. My father is no better, he was all good until my body started developing, but then when the money was low, he used me to pay the bills by selling my body to his friends. I’m everyone’s girl to use. All my boyfriends throughout my life have always used me for something. I drive to where I can become invisible, Samuel’s place. I pull into the driveway and I’m greeted by Mona, Samuel’s ‘man girl’. I will lie low here for a day. Nobody knows I sold myself for a few years in my teens. Samuel won’t ask for anything except money, and I will give him two hundred bucks and that will take care of a one-day stay. I go in and make the deal with Samuel, and I go to a room that is mine for the night. I walk in and go sit in the chair by the window and cry. I cry for believing that someone could actually want me, the fact is I’m only good for being used. My phone begins to ring and I see it’s Showken. I hit ignore and get a voice message. It rings again and the same thing happens. This continues for the next five hours, Showken calling, I hit ignore and he leaves a message. I should turn my phone off, but I can’t in this house. I never know if Samuel is in trouble, and I need to let someone know where to find me. I finally call Jasmine.

“
Marilyn, I’ve been worried sick about you, where are you? Showken called me and told me what happened. Oh honey, I’m so sorry. You can believe I asked him if he decided to eat some Dicko cereal this morning,” Jasmine says, and I smile, imagining Jasmine going off on Showken, I’m sure he didn’t get a word in.

“I’m fine, just need to
clear my head, you know. I mean, Jazz, everyone uses me, except for you of course. But I’m just a toy to people, to use whenever they choose,” I say, not realizing the tears are flowing again. My door opens and a woman peers in, she pulls her client out to go into another room.

“Fuck him Mari, you are beautiful, smart and my best friend. I love you
. Please don’t run, just come over, I already have Bruiser, I went to your house and you weren’t there. I’m worried.”

“I know, umm I will come over tomorrow. I promise, I just need tonight to get my head on straight, I need to go
,” I say, feeling a full crying spell coming on, again.

“Ok
ay, Mari, but your behind needs to be at my house tomorrow morning or I’m reporting you missing,” Jasmine says. I know she’s serious, and I will be at her house tomorrow, I just need to feel this pain.

“Ok
ay, bye.”

“Bye, Mari. Tomorrow
morning or missing persons’ report,” she says. I hang up, and look out the window at the busy traffic outside the house. Samuel always keeps you working seven days a week. I look at my phone and I have twenty messages from Showken. Why is he doing this? He got what he wanted. I get out my gun, placing it beside my thigh away from the door, this will keep me safe for tonight, but tomorrow I will be gone. I go into my shell and look at the men and women coming and going from Samuel’s place.

***

The next morning I say my goodbyes to Samuel, he tells me I’m always welcome and I leave without any problems. Samuel may have used me in the past, selling me for money, but it was my choice. I made the decision to stay, and I made the decision to leave. My mind is clear and I’m not crying any more. I will not be used any longer. Showken doesn’t exist to me any longer. He’s dead to me, like my father and mother.

“LAYERN I NEED TO FIND HER NOOOOOW!!” I yell, trying to gain some composure. I can’t believe myself. I’m a fool. The look in her eyes is nothing but hurt.

“Showken, calm down. If I
do find her, you can’t go see her like this. You need to calm down,” Layern says, calmly. He is such an ass.

“FUCK CALM!
” I yell, picking up the sofa in the living area and throwing it into the kitchen. I can’t find her because she’s hiding from me. I have been calling, texting, and I even talked with Jasmine, who called me names I never heard of. I deserve it, though. I’ve never felt so bad in my life. How could I do this to her?

“Showken, you need to get control, and stop throwing furniture
,” Domlen says, narrowing his eyes. I take a deep breath, and my beast calms.

“Domlen, I hurt her bad. I saw it in her eyes. I don’t know what to do, I can’t leave her alone
, I have to fix this. I have to.” I continue to pace, and I look over and notice that my brother, who is always talking, is now quiet. He knows something.

“Hawken, do you know where she might be? I look
ed through those papers and went to every street address on them, using my powers, and I didn’t find her,” I snap, balling my fists. I’m really trying to keep my monster inside.

“Look at you
, Showken, you are in no condition to see her, especially when your beast is itching to come out.” He knows, but doesn’t want to tell me. I know how my beast can get, but if I just see her and know she is okay. I will calm down.

“Hawken, I’m only going to ask you this once. Do yo
u know where Marilyn is?” I ask, barely raising my voice. There is silence in the room. I look in Hawken’s eyes and know that he has information on where she might be. I growl, and I feel my beast coming out. I shoot fire at Hawken as he makes a run, and his beast becomes angry.

“GIVE ME THE ADDRESS
!” I yell, and my voice is rough and raspy. I’m changing. Shit.

“S
howken, just breathe,” Layern says, holding his hands up. I'm looking at Hawken, waiting for the address, when Mother comes through her portal,extremely fast
.
What the fuck!

“Showken, you are coming home
,” she says. She reaches out and grabs me by my throat, she opens another portal and pulls me through. I can’t fucking believe this shit. We end up in the garden and I notice then, I’m in my full dragon now, damn. I can’t talk, and I hear the roaring coming from me.

“Showken, you are out of control. You need to just get calm, I’ve revoked your portal until I believe that you will not expose or kill a son of mine
,” she says, walking over to a table. She glares and I growl out in anger, knowing she holds the control. My dragon whimpers. I see Draken and Cess walking up. I can hear them talking.

“Oh Draken, he
is just lying there. I feel so bad for him,” Cess says
.
My mother turns back to me and begins to rub my head, and tears start rolling down my face. I hate that my dragon gets out of control. It’s now got in the way of me making it right with Marilyn. Mother will never let me leave unless she feels I’m okay.

“Princess, I know
Showken’s dragon can get out of control sometimes. It’s best to let our mother calm him,” Draken says, and I see the look in his eyes. Draken always came to my rescue growing up, when my brothers would pick on me. I want to speak, yet all that comes out is a growl.

“I’m going over there
,” Cess says, and tries to pass Draken. He pulls her into his arms.

“Princess, where do you think you
’re going?”

“Over there with Showken, he’s my brother and friend
, Draken. I want to see if I can help.”

“I say you can’t help. B
esides, you know how my dragon and I feel about touching.” Draken raises a brow at Cess. She smiles, and I wish Marilyn would smile at me like that. I need to get back.

“Draken
, please, you know it’s always just you, don’t be jealous.”

I see Draken look at me and I close my eyes. I need to calm myself to shift
so I can talk.

“Ok
ay, but we do it my way,” Draken says.

“What way is that?” Cess says. I feel my brother
’s presence, and feel his hand on my side. My breathing is fast. I know I’m very dangerous like this. I don’t blame Draken for protecting Cess from me. I can’t hurt another.

“Come
, Princess, and place your hand on mine, he will feel your touch, not mine.” She looks skeptical for a few seconds, but does as he asks. Cess’ touch is comforting; she truly cares for me. I growl again, and I feel Draken lift his hand a little. I whimper, informing him that I don’t want this. This is how I get my dragon under control. After a while Draken and Cess leave, but mother never does. She orders everyone out of the garden and begins to talk.

“Showken, well you have always been so much like me. I
, too, could not control my beast at one time. You are not alone. This human has touched my son, the son who vowed not to marry for at least another hundred years,” she says, leaning to kiss my horn. “My son, of all my Youngs you are the one I worry most about. I know things, my son.”