The Downlow Alpha (The Identity Crises Book 1) (6 page)

            
 
Jeremy was tired, work more draining than usual. He hated his job, hated that they could decide mandatory overtime with no advance notice. Another twelve hour day, he thought angrily. Enough time left to eat, shower, maybe watch TV for an hour and then back to bed, to do it all again tomorrow.

              As he pulled into his driveway, he saw Sheila's car was gone, and wondered where she could be this late at night. As he got out of the car, he checked his cell phone to see if she had tried calling or texting. Maybe he had not heard the alert over the radio. He saw there were no messages as he got to the door. He was unprepared for what he saw as he unlocked the door and opened it.

              Pictures were missing from the walls. As he looked around, his mind registered many things were missing, including his TV. In a panic they had been robbed, his wife and child maybe hurt or worse yet, dead, he rushed through the house yelling their names.

              "Sheila…Megan."

              Silence answered him as he looked in Megan's room. Her crib was gone, the drawers to her chest of drawers open. Already suspecting what he would find, he ran to the drawers, his eyes confirming what he already knew.

              They were empty.

              He ran to his bedroom, and the drawers to Sheila's dresser were open as well, everything missing. The closet door was open, and her clothes were no longer hanging in it, her shoes missing from the closet floor. Confusion set in as he ran out of the bedroom, heading to the kitchen, praying he would find them there, that this was all some crazy mistake.

              The kitchen was empty as well, and as he sat in one of the kitchen chairs, his mind numb and dazed, he saw the note.

              "Jeremy, I have left you for Mitch. During the many nights you have left me and your daughter alone, Mitch has been a rock for us. There is no intimacy between us, and Mitch gives me everything you lack. I will be in contact in a week or so after I have consulted an attorney and understand what I am entitled to.

Sheila.

              Oh my God. She has been sleeping with my best friend, Mitch. It felt like my soul was being ripped from me as my chest tightened painfully, and I lay my head down on my arms and sobbed like a baby, heartbroken in my feelings of loss and worthlessness.

              Everything was blurry as I looked at the clock. Blurry from all of the beer I had drank since coming home. I squinted my eyes, trying to force them to focus so I could make out the time. It was almost two A.M. I got up and headed to the bedroom, sleepy from all of the beer hanging heavy inside my head. I didn’t bother taking my pants off, and flopped onto the bed, grabbing her pillow and hugging it close. As my drunken mind was shutting down, falling into the darkness of sleep, grateful for the reprieve of my grief, my last thought was I could smell her scent in her pillow I was clutching tightly.

              The first few nights I was anxious to get home, hoping to find her and Megan there, saying it had all been a mistake. Panic would set in as I drove up to our driveway, seeing it empty. The only constant was my new companion, alcohol. Night after night I was drinking till I could not drink anymore, drinking till my drug induced mind could not operate anymore. I had vague memories of calling my other friends, awkward memories of being a blubbering fool who they humored, trying to placate me enough to get me off the phone.

              Despite the drunken pull to slumber, my sleep was restless, as nightmares of Sheila and Mitch laying together haunted me. Visions of my little girl calling Mitch daddy as him and Sheila laugh at me.

              Almost a week of this had went by before my friends had a talk, and elected Jeff to come talk to me. He was waiting for me in the driveway as I pulled up.

              "Hey Jeff, what brings you by," I asked.

              "Jeremy, we need to talk. Can I come inside?"

              I nodded, walking past him and up the walkway. As I opened the door, it hit me. Empty beer bottles were all over my house, the sink stacked with dirty dishes. To late to say no, I thought bitterly as I held the door open for him.

              "Have a seat," I said as I set my briefcase down and began gathering empty bottles to take to the trash can in the kitchen.

              "Can I get you a drink, a beer or something," I called back over my shoulder.

              "Beer would be good, thanks man."

              I came back in with the beers, and sat down in the recliner.

              "Jeremy, we are all concerned about you. You are calling several of us nightly, drunk and rambling and crying. Look man, I know it's got to be hard. I understand man, and I am here for you. But my wife is starting to get mad at the nightly calls. They are cutting into our family time. Talk to me man. How can I help?"

              My mind started racing, part of me wanting to spill it all out, yet another part afraid of leaving myself vulnerable. Men were not supposed to cry about anything, show weakness. I did not have my liquid courage to help loosen me up. He could see the indecision on my face, and without warning I felt my lip start trembling. I fought to contain the grief overwhelming me, to keep it from pouring out.

              Jeff looked at my sympathetically, concern in his eyes as he took in my battle for control.

              "Jeremy, I cannot pretend to understand how hard this must be. The closest I can think of is when Rachel Wellington dumped me right before the prom. But this has to be ten times harder. You have a daughter you are missing, it was your best friend who stabbed you in the back. For what it is worth, none of us are talking to Mitch, the fucking asshole. He isn’t welcome in our circle anymore."

              "I know that doesn’t help ease your pain any," he continued. "I am no expert on this, but there are only three things you can do."

              "One, you can reach out to Sheila, see if this can be fixed. Now my advice is to write her off. Once a hoe, always a hoe. You know I am right man, hard as it is to hear."

              "Two, you go see a shrink, talk it out of your system."

              "Three, go out and have some fun, take your mind off of all of this. Meet a new woman, get your mind off of all of this. This much I do know for sure. Sitting here alone night after night, drinking and thinking about everything like you are doing is no good for you. Take my advice, and go for option three. Get out and have some fun. You never know what it will lead to, and you might find there is someone out there who is right for you."

              I was shocked at what he was saying. I knew it was good advice, but I could not see myself with another woman again at this point. I could never handle going through all of this again. Starting over again, starting a new family just to have it ripped from me, my child ripped from me.

              "Jeremy, I can see you are trying to reject all of this, but the sooner you accept what is going on, you can start the healing process. Do yourself a favor and at least get out, just once. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to again. But give it a try. Quit sitting here beating yourself up."

              I nodded and he chugged down the rest of his beer and stood up.

              "I need to get going. My wife thinks I went to the store and she will start wondering if I am not home soon."

              I stood and we shook hands.

              As I walked him to the door, he turned and said, "It's all going to work out for the best. You will see."

            
 
I still felt some apprehension as I pulled into the parking lot. It was a sports bar on the other side of town. I didn’t want to run into anyone I knew, didn’t want to have to deal with the uncomfortableness of such a situation. Not knowing what to say, knowing I was not man enough to keep my woman, keep my family intact. Go out and have a fresh start, a clean slate where I would not be judged by my failures.

              I walked in, and rock music was blaring, people dancing and milling about. I went to the bar and ordered a beer, and tipped her when she brought it to me. I started scanning the bar, admiring some of the women while at the same time judging them for how they were dressed. I wondered how many of them had boyfriends or husbands at home thinking everything was okay in their relationship. Had no clue their significant other was already auditioning new men for the role.

              I heard something to the left of me, and turned and saw a man looking at me expectantly. I knew he had just said something, but I hadn’t heard him clearly over the music. I leaned over towards him as I apologized for not hearing what he had said.

              "Hey man, are you waiting for someone? I have been hoping to hook up with someone to shoot some pool with."

              Excitement exploded briefly inside. I had not played pool in forever. The suggestion was appealing and I told him so.

              "That sounds great man. But you will have to excuse my rustiness. I have not played in years."

              He laughed and got up, heading towards the pool tables. I followed him, surprised that there were a couple of tables open. As I examined the sticks, looking for the straightest one, he waved the waitress over.

              "A beer for me and my new friend," he said, handing her a ten. He pointed at my beer on the edge of the table, indicating what I was drinking as he held his up with the other hand. She smiled and left to get us our brews. He saw me reaching into my pocket to get my wallet out, and nodded his head.

              "This round is on me. You can pick up the next round." His friendliness was disarming, and before I knew it, a few hours had passed by. I was feeling no pain, and had lost track of how many beers we had drank as we played our hearts out. I found his company very pleasant, and was surprised I had told him about Sheila leaving, taking my little Megan with her. Straight into the arms of my best friend.

              His warmness and compassion were inviting, and as the night had worn on I was sure I had never met anyone like him before. He had an understanding and warmness you would expect to only find in a woman. Yet, he was not effeminate. Hell, watching the way his muscles moved under his shirt, he looked like he could give Sylvester Stallone a run for his money when it came to physique. Yet blessed with a handsome face, high cheekbones and chin that almost looked like God had personally chiseled it.

              I waved the waitress over to order more beers, surprised at how smoothly they were going on. I realized I was happy, the fun of the night pushing my misery away. The waitress came over with a weird look on her face.

              "Sorry, we are closing in half an hour and we are no longer serving alcohol. You guys will want to start wrapping your game up."

              I felt disappointment as I realized the night was coming to an end. It must have been written on my face. Clint laughed at my expression.

              "You know, the night doesn’t have to end just because they are closing. If you don’t have to work tomorrow, why don’t you follow me back to my place? I have a pool table, and plenty of beer."

              I couldn’t say yes quickly enough, and we finished our game and beers. I followed him to his car so I would know what it looked like.

              "Just follow me. It is three lights after we make a right after here, then make a left two lights later. Turn on the first street past the light, my house is the fourth house on the left. Hey, give me your number real quick, and I will text you so you have my number in case we get separated."

              I gave him my number, and he quickly sent me a text. I heard the alert beep and we were all set. I got in my car and he was already waiting for me by the exit, and pulled out when I honked letting him know it was me. As we pulled up to his house I felt a brief flash of envy. The area was really nice, outside of my pay grade.

              I was even more impressed when he let me inside. The furnishings and décor were amazing. I followed him to the kitchen, and through the window I could see a large patio, with an in ground pool. He caught me checking it out and laughed.

              "It is heated too. Maybe later we can take a swim in it. Let me show you the game room"

              As I followed him into the giant room, my breath caught. It was the most magnificent room I had ever seen. Video games like you see in the arcades. Big screen TV mounted to the wall. Pool table. He had a collection of baseball caps on the wall, one for each football team in the NFL. This was the man cave every man dreamed of.

              He took his shirt off as I racked up the balls. I caught myself admiring his bare torso. His body was as perfect as I had imagined at the bar. I wasn’t out of shape or nothing, but I would have killed to have his physique. The beers started flowing again as we played, and it suddenly hit me our bodies were touching.

              He was wanting to teach me a trick shot, and his body was up against mine as he reached around me, positioning my arms. I could feel his manhood pressed into my backside, and it was hard and large. My reaction was surprising me, as I felt my cock stirring at our closeness. What was going on? It had to be the beer, my mind protested, as the sexual tension within me kept building. I turned and looked at him, his face next to mine.

              He must have seen my desire despite my uncertainty, as he leaned in and his lips brushed across mine. Something opened inside, and I found myself responding to his kiss, kissing him back. His hands turned me to face him, allowing us to kiss more deeply. My cock was throbbing in desire, throbbing an indication of its desire for him. My inhibitions were gone, the beer having taken them from me, freeing me to explore this strange desire for him pulsing deep within me.

              His hands rubbed on my chest, then slowly worked their way down my stomach, till I felt them undoing my pants. My whole body was trembling now, trembling at the promise of fulfillment. His hands tugged at my pants with urgency, as his mouth broke away from mine. His dark eyes were filled with desire as our eyes locked, igniting my passion from a strong fire to a blazing inferno.

              As he fell to his knees in front of me, pulling my pants down to my knees, my hands reached out and I began running them through his short cut hair. My body jumped as his mouth made contact with my throbbing hardness, and I watched in a delirium of passion as he licked the bubble of excitement off my head, then lowered his wet mouth down my shaft in one fluid motion.

              As his chin made contact with my balls, my knees got weak from the pleasure exploding throughout me, every nerve alive and singing as he worked his way back up, his mouth sucking me in his wetness, tugging on the chub of my cock. Pulling at it, at me. As his mouth worked its way up and down my cock, his hands started massaging my inner thighs, working their way up till I could feel his fingertips caressing the bottom of my balls.

              Between his mouths wetness, his mouths loving ministrations on my smooth hard cock, and his hands lavishing my balls with caresses, I felt myself build up, my balls getting tighter and tighter as the energy built up to the point of no return. I screamed out in my release, exploding my seed into his hungry, loving mouth. His sucking was making loud suction noises as he drank my seed, spurt after spurt.

              I felt my knees get weak, and as if sensing how I felt, he pulled his mouth off of me and stood up. I felt his hands as they grabbed me under my arms, and he picked me up like I weighed nothing, and sat me down on the pool table. He gently pushed me back till I was laying down on the table, my legs hanging off.

              I felt him lean over me, and despite cumming just seconds ago, the feel of his wet mouth as it began sucking on me again was already stirring me back to hardness. I closed my eyes, and surrendered myself to the most awesome pleasure my cock had ever felt. Pleasure from his mouth.