The Donors (9 page)

You know they're not done with her. You have to tell Jason. He'll believe you because he's special too. Be a big boy and tell him.

The pain in his hand grew so big that he thought he might have to ask for the medicine. He tried all the tricks he could think of. He tried to make up a dream that his hand was buried in cold snow to take away the burning. He tried to pretend that he could throw the pain away and tossed his hand toward the door over and over.

It had worked for a while but now the pain grew out of his control and even though he was a big boy, he really needed to have the medicine. So he told Mommy and she went to get the black-haired nurse to bring him some.

“Just a little,” he told her. Maybe if he didn't take too much the Lizard Men wouldn't get in his head again. Part of him wanted to go to the cave, just to make sure Jenny was alright now that she had left work, but most of him just felt scared.

Scaredy cat, scaredy cat. Who will help her if you don't? Who else knows how?

For a minute, Nathan thought about telling Mommy, but he knew that she wouldn't understand. Even if she believed him—and she wouldn't—she couldn't help. But Jason could. He could make Jenny safe and stop the Lizard Men before something bad happened to her. Nathan didn't know if that was true but he really, really wanted it to be. He hoped Jason would come soon so he could talk to him before the medicine made him go to sleep.

His mom brought back the nurse, who smiled and told him he would feel better in a minute. Nathan forced a smile and lay still while she stuck the needle into his tubing and slowly injected the medicine while chatting with his mom about something on TV.

The medicine felt warm in a way that seemed good and bad together as it ran up his arm. It made his head feel bigger. Nathan felt his eyes grow heavy almost immediately and leaned over against his mommy's soft leg. Her hand felt so good in his hair. The burning in his hand faded away like he really did put it in the snow or something, but he felt woozy and a little sick as the room grew dark.

Nathan listened to his mommy's voice, hoping that he would stay there in the big bed, his head on her leg. He couldn't tell what her words meant anymore, but the sound of her voice comforted him, like music. It seemed far away now but he could still hear it.

The fart smell woke him. He could still hear the music of Mommy's voice, but without opening his eyes, he knew where he had gone. For a moment he kept them closed and tried to make his mommy's voice grow louder, traveling to her. But then he thought of Jenny, and with a fluttering of fear in his chest, he balled up his hands, tried to be brave, and opened them.

The cave seemed a little brighter but no less hot or humid. He realized he lay curled up right where he had been when the creature had come for him. The thought of the dinosaur-looking demon bearing down on him made a whimper sneak out of his throat. Nathan pushed his fist into his mouth as he sat up.

He could see a lot better this time and realized the cave seemed lighter. He could make out streams of thick dark liquid that ran down the walls, forming puddles on the dirty floor. He got carefully to his feet, leaned against the wall, and tried hard not to touch the purple streams that looked really gross.

He saw no one nearby, but could hear a sound, muffled and not too far away. It came from deeper in the cave. Nathan really wanted to go back to his mom now, but something inside him told him that Jenny might be here, down where the scary sound came from. With his lower lip trembling, he walked down the sloping dirt floor, deeper into the cavern, toward the creepy noise.

He realized that he was barefoot only when he stepped into one of the purple pools in the uneven surface. He pulled his foot away in revulsion, the hot sticky liquid dripping from his foot, and dragged his toes over and over through dirt, trying to get the nasty stuff off.

His foot felt tingly and a weird sensation raced up his leg. His heart pumped faster and his breathing sounded crazy loud. He shoved his fist into his mouth again to stifle a building scream. Nathan could only barely feel his mommy's fingers still on his head, though he could tell when they rubbed him more urgently. He wondered if he had made a sound in his sleep. Then he noticed that the sound from deeper in the cave had stopped.

He stood as still as possible and tried to slow his breathing with his hand still perched in his mouth. Last time, the creatures noticed him when he felt scared and so he tried desperately to think about his mommy's voice, willing it to get louder. The more he tried to not be scared, the more he worried they could smell him and the more scared he became.

Scaredy cat, scaredy cat. Don't you want to see if Jenny is okay? Jason would want you to help her.

Maybe he should go back to his mommy and wait for Jason. A grown-up should help a kid, and Jason would know what to do.

“Like Steve helped you? Don't be a baby. Jason probably can't come here anyway, even if he believes you. Let's just go look and make sure she's okay.”

The sound of his own voice calmed him more than his mommy's far-away one.

Nathan could hear the sound again: a wet, grunting sort of noise. Maybe it meant they couldn't smell him anymore. He continued slowly down the sloping floor, deeper into the cave.

He tried to pretend the voice in his head was Jason's and that he walked beside him, held his hand. For a moment he
did
feel a hand in his but he thought it was probably his mommy's. Still, he could kind of see Jason beside him, smiling, making him feel brave. Then the imaginary Jason faded away.

“Dreams are just like that,” he mumbled and continued on.

His feet felt dirty but at least not sticky.

He came to a little rise where he took a few steps up and then stopped, just short of the crest where the floor turned downward again. Nathan paused for only a moment. No sense in getting scared again—the voice in his head would just make fun of him and then he would do the same stupid thing anyway. His mommy said that stupid was a bad word, but right now he felt grown-up enough to use a bad word. It actually was just a not-very-nice word and anyway, he felt pretty stupid. He was standing in a dream cave with sweat running down his thin chest, barefoot, waiting to crawl over the crest to where creatures were.

The floor felt almost wet but not muddy on his hands so he crouched down and crawled like a dog up to the crest of the little hill. At the top he lay down on his belly in the dirt and peered cautiously down the path. It got quite narrow as it plunged into a big open room in the cave below. He didn't want to be scared and so he wasn't.

In the middle of the room, two creatures squatted in the dirt over a meal. Steve's legs didn't exactly kick but kind of shook back and forth, flopping sporadically between the beasts that fed on him.

Nathan heard a tearing sound, another wet grunt and one of the Lizard Men raised its head. A long strip of stringy skin hung from its sharp teeth. Blood ran down its chest. It gulped the bloody strip down. Instead of being scared or feeling sick as the creatures literally tore Steve's flesh from his writhing body, Nathan felt only relief that the shuddering legs were not Jenny's.

It's not her. Can we please go back to Mommy now?

Wait.

He saw her on the far side of the cave. She lay naked on the floor, arms and legs splayed out to the side. Her skin glistened with sweat. Nathan watched as her head rocked slowly back and forth. Her voice rose up to him, but not the voice he knew from the hospital. He couldn't make out the words, but he could tell that her voice shifted chaotically back and forth between a sobbing cry and a demonic laugh. The piercing laugh sent an electric shock up his back. It sounded loud, cackling and kind of crazy.

And mean sounding. Evil.

He watched as Jenny, his Jenny, obscenely naked in the dirt, closed her eyes and cried. She opened them and turned her head to watch the Lizard Men tear flesh from Steve's jerking body. Then she laughed the evil laugh again.

At least she didn't seem to be in danger from the creatures.

Not yet, little man. But she will be if you don't help her soon.

Nathan concentrated on making his mommy's voice sound louder and the feel of her hands in his hair more real. It seemed easier this time. With little effort he traveled back to his hospital bed, to his mommy and hopefully soon to Jason.

Nathan opened his eyes and looked up at his mommy's concerned face. His head was in her lap and her fingers ran gently through his hair. He looked around but didn't see Jason.

“There, there, sweetheart. Just another dream. Just a bad dream,” his mommy's voice told him. She sounded sad, he thought.

“No it's not,” he whispered and closed his eyes again.

Then he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jenny felt like she was waking up from a dream. Not a dream where you lie in bed and mull over the details, good or bad, but the kind where you wake up confused and disoriented, unable to make the fragments and images gel into something with meaning. It could be anything from a nightmare to a wild fantasy, but your mind wasn't letting you in on the details.

That's exactly how I feel. I don't know where I was or what I did, but I have a feeling it was bad.

Jenny woke, or became aware, or whatever…

You're not waking up, because it wasn't a dream, was it?

…and found herself sitting on a vinyl sofa beside the Starbuck's Kiosk in the hospital lobby. A cold, untouched cup of coffee hung in her hand (which she had no memory of getting) and her head pounded with a headache of biblical proportions. A foul odor lingered for a moment but it disappeared quickly. She wondered if it might be part of the dream, or a memory or something. She still wore her scrubs from work but they stuck to her skin with sweat.

Jenny looked around the lobby nervously, but no one paid any attention to her. She got up from the vinyl seat, which stuck to her skin and clothes, tossed the cold Styrofoam cup into the garbage can and headed to the ladies room.

The face in the mirror shocked her. Her matted hair was pasted to the side of her head. She looked pale and dark rings surrounded her eyes. Smears of mascara striped her upper eyelids and her lipstick was all but gone. Her lips seemed shrunken and purple, except for the globs bunched in the corners of her mouth.

Jenny splashed cool water from the white porcelain sink onto her face with cupped hands, rubbing briskly to remove the smeared residuals of makeup and the salty white streaks of dried sweat, or tears. She did her best to dry her face off with the thin brown paper towels spit magically from the dispenser when she waved her hands past the motion detectors underneath.

Then she balled another towel up, moistened it, and sponged off the rings of sweat from beneath her armpits and between her breasts. A subtle smell of sulfur permeated the air when she'd finished. She tossed the towel toward the trash can where it spun off the rim and landed with a splat on the floor. She left it and pushed her way out of the restroom.

Jenny kept her head down as she briskly walked the short hall that took her past the elevators, through the walkway and to the parking garage. She avoided looking up and prayed quietly that she wouldn't see anyone she knew.

Especially not Jason.

Her eyes welled up from pent-up emotional turmoil.

The elevator took her to the top floor of the garage but her car wasn't there. A small pearl of panic grew in the middle of her chest. Then she remembered that she had moved it down a level so Jason wouldn't know she was still at the hospital. She didn't know why that mattered so much to her. Much more frightening, she realized she didn't know why she had needed to stay at the hospital.

Where have I been? What the hell did I do?

You did what needed to be done.

The second voice sounded like hers, but wasn't. An unsettling laugh hid beneath the words. Jenny started to cry harder and rode the elevator to the floor below.

Thankfully the garage was empty and her car sat only a short distance from the doors. She desperately needed to get away. She wanted to wash herself in a hot shower and then collapse into bed.

As she slid behind the wheel of her SUV the blue LED clock glared back at her.

11:45.

She had been at the hospital for three hours and she had no idea why. Jenny started the car and wiped the moisture from her eyes to clear her vision. As she drove out of the garage she let go of any attempt to control the flood of random thoughts and voices.

I hope Nathan is okay.

That fucker got what he deserved.

I miss Jason. How is that possible? I barely know him.

Dad's birthday is Sunday. I need to remember to call him. I wish I was home with Mom and Dad right now.

You must continue to help us. We'll show you how.

Fuck Dad, that bastard.

There was a little boy there, right? A little boy looking after me in the cave? Scared for me?

I am so tired.

I wish I was making love with Jason right now.

You have to help Nathan.

Can he help me? Can he save me?

She stopped listening, but the words droned on as she robotically drove the short distance to her apartment.

 

*  *  *

 

Jason sipped the stale coffee he had scrounged from the staff break room and sighed. Nathan looked pretty peaceful at the moment—or deeply stoned, probably both—and his initial contentment to just watch the boy get a little sleep turned to boredom. He felt like a jerk but he wanted the tired kid to wake up.

Nice.

Sherry told him that her son had suffered another nightmare but it didn't seem as bad this time. He hadn't cried or hollered out but she could tell that his sleep was disturbing. He woke up mumbling something but slept soundly now.

It surprised Jason how relaxed he felt talking with Nathan's mom, now. He worried for her, about her. She looked tired as hell and her hands trembled as she stroked her son's hair.

“When was the last time you really slept?” he asked.

Sherry smiled tightly. “I sleep a little here and there.”

Jason had a picture flash through his head: his mom, sitting beside him in a bed just like Nathan's, holding his hand, her eyes red and her face pale.

He looked at his mom's double as she held Nathan's hand. Jason felt a lump form in his throat.

“Sherry,” he said softly and put a hand on her shoulder. Her bloodshot eyes looked up at him. “Why don't you go home for a little while and sleep in your own bed? He's doing great and you could really use some rest.”

Sadness contorted Sherry Doren's face and he again saw his mom, this time lying in her hospital bed, thin and wasted as cancer devoured her from inside.

“I'm sorry I wasn't a better mom.”

He had said nothing—had just let his mom lie there with that agony. Even at eight he knew he should have said something.

“I don't want to leave him.” Sherry looked down. She seemed like a kid herself. “I never wanted anything to happen to him. I never thought…” She trailed off and started to cry. Jason sat down beside her, put an arm around her.

“I know, Sherry,” he said and wished someone had been there to tell his mom that. “He's going to be fine now. He has a great mom and I know you'll keep him safe.”

Sherry sobbed loudly and leaned against him.

“Thank you so much,” she said without looking at him. He knew guilt kept her focus diverted. “I don't know what we would have done without you. He likes you so much. You and your girlfriend are his favorites.”

Girlfriend?

The word made him smile. Guess he was pretty easy to read.

“Nathan is really special,” he said, but then didn't know what else to tell her. “If you want, I would love to stay with him so you can go home and rest, freshen up, and have a little time for yourself.” Sherry looked at him with relief and fear. “I won't let anything happen to him,” he said.

“I know,” she answered, and her smile was real. “Thank you so much. Maybe I can just stay until he wakes up so he knows I didn't leave him?”

“Of course,” Jason said and squeezed her shoulder again. “Maybe I can get him something special for lunch. What's his favorite?”

“A Happy Meal?” a little voice said. Jason looked over at Nathan who blinked to clear glazed eyes.

“Hey, big guy,” he said and enjoyed a genuine warm feeling thinking about Nathan's happiness to come. “A Happy Meal, huh?” He tossed a hand through Nathan's hair.

“Yeah,” he muttered, a little more awake now. “I don't know what the prize is but it's got to be something good.” He sat up and grimaced slightly as he bumped his hand on the side rail. “You have to tell them it's for a boy, okay? Otherwise I might get the girl prize.” He wrinkled his nose at the thought and Jason laughed.

“Are you hungry now?” he asked.

“A little.”

Jason looked at Sherry with raised eyebrows and she nodded. He smiled and nodded back.

“Tell you what,” he said and got up from the edge of the bed. “How about I go get you a Happy Meal and when I get back maybe we can have some boy time.” He looked at Nathan who seemed to like the sound of that. “If I bring back a movie for us, do you think it would be okay if your Mom sneaks home for a nap and a shower?”

“Sure,” Nathan answered.

“Great,” Jason announced. “Don't talk about me while I'm gone.”

It took way less than an hour. The food court had a McDonald's and he grabbed a movie off the big cart on the Pediatric Ward right around the corner from Pedi ICU. He chose
Sky
High
because it seemed like a boy kind of movie for their man time. He strolled back in with two McDonald's bags in no time.

“I'm back,” he announced with a flourish. Nathan's face lit up and Sherry forced a weary wave. Nathan leaned over and kissed his mom on the cheek.

“Bye, Mom,” he said with little ceremony—so much for being nervous. Jason took a burger and fries out of the bigger bag and then handed it to Nathan's mom.

“I got you something too. I figured you were hungry. Not too healthy I'm afraid.”

Sherry sighed gratefully. “Thank you, Dr. Gelman,” she said and got up with her lunch in hand.

“Jason,” he corrected her. “If the five-year-old can call me that, it's probably okay for his mom, too.”

“I'm almost six,” a squeaky voice pointed out.

“Thank you, Jason,” Sherry corrected herself, then bent over and gave her boy a long kiss on the cheek. “See you in a little while, sweetheart. Are you sure it's okay for Mommy to go for a little while?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Nathan answered, squirming a little at the attention in front of Jason. “You wouldn't like this movie anyway.” He flipped the case over in his un-bandaged hand. “It's not really a girl movie.”

“Oh, I see,” his mom humored him. “Well, I'll see you two boys in a little bit.”

“Okay, Mom,” Nathan said opening the case.

“He'll be fine; don't worry,” Jason reassured. Sherry left and he turned to his young pal. “So have you seen this movie?” he asked.

“No,” Nathan said. He handed it to him to pop into the machine on the cart beside the bed. “It looks totally cool though.”

The Happy Meal prize turned out to be some kind of little plastic guy on a skate board which Nathan got very excited about and Jason snapped together. Then they munched their junk food and fries and watched Kurt Russell as an aging super hero as he raised his high school son to be the same.

Jason actually found the movie enjoyable but with a full belly a nagging voice in his head prodded him to have a conversation with Nathan. There were things he needed to know—things about his dreams. They scared him for reasons he couldn't understand.

He bravely watched the movie but said nothing.

After a while (sometime after Kurt Russell's movie son found out Dad really did have super powers), Jason looked over at Nathan to say something about the movie and noticed him staring past the TV, deep in thought. “You okay?” Jason asked with real concern.

“Yeah,” the boy answered, but looked down at his bandaged hand. Jason wondered for a moment if Nathan just needed more pain medicine.

“What's up, buddy?” He picked up the remote from the bed and hit the pause button. They would find out how the heroes stopped the villain's evil pacifier device in a bit.

Nathan nervously looked up at him.

“You know,” Jason said, “when guys are good friends they can tell each other anything. I really am your friend, Nathan.”

“I know,” Nathan said simply. He looked a little relieved. “Do you know where Jenny is?”

Jason felt confused.

“Well,” he said, “she's probably at her home in bed. She was up all night working, you know?” He looked at Nathan carefully. “Why, buddy?”

“Do you love her?” Nathan asked. Jason gave an uncomfortable laugh at the surprising question. “I mean…” Nathan looked down, a little set off by the reaction. “She's your girlfriend, right?”

“I like her,” Jason said softly. “I like her a lot. But I don't really know her that well, you know? We just met when we both met you. We both like you a lot, too.”

“I know,” Nathan said. He looked up then, hard, determined—and old. “I have to tell you something.”

A long and uncomfortable pause hung between them.

“What is it, Nathan? Is it about Jenny?” Jason found he couldn't really understand the sense of dread that grew in him at the little boy's ageless aura.

“Yes,” Nathan said holding his gaze.

“Well, what is it?” he asked again impatiently.

“I'm afraid you won't believe me,” Nathan said and sniffled. “It's about the Lizard Men.”

Jason felt relief spread across his chest and he sighed.

The dreams.

Dreams? The ones you see too, in alleys in the dark?

He ignored the second voice and put a hand on Nathan's back.

“Is it about the dreams?” he asked.

Nathan leaned into him, eyes blazing with fear or knowledge or both. His voice took on a conspiratorial whisper.

“They're not dreams,” he said and Jason felt a cold finger tickle up his back.

He realized, remembering his terror, that not only did he believe Nathan–

Remember me?

—but that he had known that all along. Deep inside a part of him started to remember something, something frightening. “Tell me what you saw,” he whispered back, frightened for Nathan.

And now for Jenny.

“They're not just in the cave, I think,” Nathan said and snuggled closer to Jason. “They're here…”